


A Maze of Moments - Book One

by RealDaveofDaves



Series: The Maze of Moments - A Clay and Justin Story [1]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alex is gay, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Caretaker Justin, Clay is a good bro, Clay is well endowed, Consensual Underage Sex, Cyrus is bisexual, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gay Sex, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Justin is a good bro, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Out, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Concussion Syndrome, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prom, Songfic, Therapy, boys making out, concussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-06-01 16:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 90,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15146999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealDaveofDaves/pseuds/RealDaveofDaves
Summary: The first book in a series of stories, some long, others short, as Clay and Justin build their relationship as brothers, Justin learns what it means to have a real family, and they and their friends walk a maze of moments together.





	1. Brothers In Arms

**Author's Note:**

> In which Clay is attacked in the hall of Liberty High and is seriously injured...

_Through these fields of destruction_  
_Baptisms of fire_  
_I've witnessed your suffering_  
_As the battle raged higher_  
_And though they did hurt me so bad_  
_In the fear and alarm_  
_You did not desert me_  
_My brothers in arms_

\- from "Brothers In Arms," by Dire Straits

 

Clay _saw_ the punch coming, that was the thing. Standing at his locker, waiting for Justin, Alex, and Zach to join him at the end of the day, he saw Monty out of the corner of his eye, walking toward him with a purpose.

"Jensen!"

Monty was still upset after losing Bryce and the baseball team, and placed the blame squarely on Clay. The others - Foley, Standall, all of them - they were conspirators, but as far as he was concerned, Clay Jensen was the ringleader, the instigator, the goddamned fucking hero. And he hated him for it. He'd been trying, unsuccessfully, to get some measure of revenge, but Jensen was always surrounded by his friends.

Not this time.

Walking faster, Monty clenched his fist and swung. Just as Clay started to duck.

After all, he had seen it coming. But, just a second or so too late.

Monty's fist didn't connect with Clay's jaw as he had intended. Instead, as Clay was ducking, it made contact with a sickening **thud** against the side of his head, which was then propelled into the locker.

Clay had been hit before. More so than he'd care to remember these days. Bryce, the fight in the hall...he'd taken a few punches the past year.

But this? This was different.

There was an immediate ringing in his head, and all of a sudden, everything sounded...off. He could still hear, but it was muffled. His vision began to do odd things as well. Everything looked like a YouTube video that was losing quality because the WiFi connection was bad.

And it hurt.

God, did it hurt.

He dropped his backpack and slumped against the lockers. Looking over at Monty (who didn't look quite like Monty...the connection was bad), he slowly slid down as his knees buckled.

As he looked around, the connection was still bad and getting worse. It was like...people were moving in slow motion. But he could still hear, even if it was kind of muffled and had sort of an echo. Oh, he could hear all right.

"MotherFUCKER!!!"

What Clay saw in slow motion (somebody really needed to reset the router now) was Justin Foley running over and tackling Monty to the ground. Zach Dempsey right behind. And Alex Standall bringing up the rear. He always moved a little slower because of his leg brace and cane, but now, at least as Clay saw it, he was _really_ moving slowly.

Alex crouched down next to Clay as best he could, while Justin pummeled away on Monty. Zach and some other former baseball players were trying to pry them apart while a cluster of other students stood around and watched.

"Clay? Hey, Clay?" Alex looked into his friend's eyes and noticed his pupils were starting to dilate. "Clay? Can you hear me?"

Clay could hear him and was trying to speak as his vision slowly, ever so slowly, began to readjust. As he was about to reply with 'Why was the WiFi so bad just now?' Clay was suddenly aware of two things.

One, he heard Justin as Zach pulled him away and back towards the lockers:

"...and if you EVER touch my brother again, I swear to fucking God I WILL kill you!! You understand me you piece of shit!?"

Brother.

Brother?

It had been just over a month since the spring dance, since the adoption proceedings began, since Justin Foley was now a more or less permanent part of his life. But this was the first time he had ever heard him say the word, short of the original conversation at Monet's:

_You mean like...I'd be your brother._

When he said it, the way he said it...it was the surprise of it all. After all, when the school year started, the last thing Clay ever would have imagined was Justin Foley being adopted by his parents. But, it had been a strange, awful year.

Brother.

Justin said it.

But of more pressing importance was the second thing Clay became aware of. The pain in his head. It was excruciating. He balled his fists and brought them up to his forehead and curled into himself as Alex held onto his shoulders.

Justin and Zach knelt down next to their friends. Alex looked over and met their eyes. "This...this looks bad."

"He's just shook up," an out of breath Justin said.

"No, Justin...he doesn't seem right. His eyes were....they were all messed up."

"Messed up how?" Zach, the sort of a PT expert asked.

"Like...he was high. But he's obviously not. I think he's hurt pretty badly."

Justin shook his head. "Nah, he's okay. Right, Clay? Hey, Clay?" He gently placed his hand on Clay's back, and that's when Clay made the sound.

That sound.

That awful, anguished sound Justin had heard before, the night at Bryce's house. The sound Clay made when he had a gun to his head, a sob of despair and hurt and pain.

He hated that sound.

"Hey...hey, Clay...it's okay, it's all over, okay? He's gone."

Clay lowered his fists and tried to focus on Justin. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Hurts..."

"What, Clay? What hurts?"

"Head.....hurts....bad..."

Zach stood up. "I'm gonna pull the car to the front, we're getting him to a hospital."

"Shouldn't we just call 911?" Alex replied.

Justin shook his head. "No, there's a hospital a few blocks away, we can get him there faster." He looked up at Zach. "Go!"

Zach sprinted down the hall, pushing freshmen and other onlookers out of his way. As usual, there were no teachers in sight. Typical for Liberty.

"Text Tony and the rest, tell them what's going on," Justin told Alex as he scooped up Clay as gently as possible. "Then, call my...our....call Mr. and Mrs. Jensen, you've got their numbers, right?"

Alex nodded. "Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna meet Zach...get the fuck out of my way, freshman, Jesus....outside. Get a ride with Tony!" Justin called over his shoulder as he walked as quickly as he could to the front doors. Fortunately, other students saw him coming and were in the process of moving, moving others, or getting ready to hold the doors open.

_Fuck, Jensen, when did you get so heavy?_

 Clay sobbed quietly and gripped Justin's hoodie. "Hurts..."

"I know...just hang on Clay, we're gonna get help. Just hang on, okay?"

_Please be okay please be okay. C'mon Clay. Don't do this to me. Not now._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Somebody Save Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when the brother you never knew you always wanted was hurt?  
> 

  _I feel my wings have broken in your hands_  
_I feel the words unspoken inside_  
_And they pull you under_  
_And I would give you anything you want,_  
_You were all I wanted_  
_And all my dreams are falling down_  
_Crawling around_

 _Somebody save me_  
_Let your warm hands break right through and_  
_Save me_  
_I don't care how you do it_  
_Just stay, stay_  
_Oh come on_  
_I've been waiting for you_

\- from "Save Me" by Remy Zero

 

Zach Dempsey was weaving in and out of traffic, flashers blinking, blasting the horn, and probably breaking at least half a dozen rules of the road or more. He sort of hoped a cop _would_ pull him over, just so he could explain what was going on and get an escort the rest of the way, just like you see on the news sometimes. He wouldn't be so lucky. So, he'd have to come to a rolling stop every so often, lay on the horn, wait for everyone else to stop, and put the gas pedal back to the floor. Briefly glancing up in the rear view mirror, he saw Justin's worried and pained expression as Clay lay in his lap.

 "Make sure he stays on his side in case he throws up, don't let him lay on his back. And keep him awake!"

 "He is, Dempsey, just keep driving!"

 Justin looked down at Clay, who was sprawled across his lap, holding his head in his hands and sobbing. He'd seen Clay cry before, a couple of times - on his bed, tormented by the vision of Hannah, at Bryce's house in a moment of despair and anger - but this. This was different. And while he had the absolute shit scared out of him when Clay put that gun to his head, this was a whole different kind of scary. He could talk Clay down at a time of desperation, or comfort him (or try to) when facing down a ghost from his past...but Justin couldn't fix this. Something was terribly wrong, Clay was hurt, maybe seriously, and Justin Foley had absolutely no idea what to do.

 "Justin! Keep him talking, we're almost there!"

 Clay _had_ been talking, a little, as he was on the floor next to the lockers, and as Justin carried him out of the school and got him into the backseat of Zach's car. But after they drove off, all Clay did was cry, and that was starting to become softer, quieter.

 "Hey...hey Clay...you know...you know what I was thinking? Remember how I told you I never saw all the Marvel movies? Avengers and all that? I thought...maybe we could watch them soon. Like this weekend, yeah? Maybe have everyone over, mo...your mom could make snacks and stuff?"

 He was trying, and Zach did say to keep him talking. He carefully ran his hand up and down over Clay's arm.

 "Whaddya say? Iron Man first, right?"

 Barely, almost a whisper, Justin could hear Clay's reply.

 "Captain America....first..."

 Justin smiled and tried to hold it together, for himself as much as Clay.

 "But what if I like Iron Man? Maybe I wanna watch that first. He's a stud and a badass, like me."

 Now, if this had been normal circumstances, Clay would have gone into a long lecture about movie cannon, and which order the movies had to be viewed in and why for it all to make sense, followed by the Clay's Notes version of the superheroes and their history, and how all of the movies connected, and don't even _start_ on the Fantastic Four ones because they're so bad, although yes, Captain America is in it but he's not really because he's the Human Torch in that one.

 But, seeing as how these weren't normal circumstances, the most Clay could do was weakly pinch Justin's leg and murmur "Order..."

 Justin let out a little laugh, although he felt like crying himself, or screaming, or hitting something. Like Monty. Again. "Okay, Captain America it is. Deal?"

 "My head hurts....make it stop....please Justin?"

But he couldn't. Justin Foley. Former star athlete, kind of average student, recovering heroin addict, slayer of hallway bullies (for today at least, even if he was too late to really slay the dragon before the damage was done), who had a quick rejoinder for almost anything....couldn't fix this. And he would have given anything, _anything_ , to be able to do so.

He never opened up about it to the Jensens, but the one thing in the world Justin always wanted was a brother. Older, younger, it made no difference to him, just someone to tease and share secrets with and do all the stupid shit siblings, brothers, do. Someone who would understand better than anyone all of the stupid, awful crap he had gone through with his mother and the never ending string of boyfriends. Someone he could hold onto and find comfort and unconditional love in. That's why he clung to Bryce all those years, he saw in him the brother he always wanted. And, for a long time, it was so great. But then high school came, and Bryce changed. Not for the better. 

True, he could always crash at the pool house, and there was plenty of things to eat and weed to smoke and booze to drink. But it just...changed. And as time went on, he saw Bryce as less and less of a brother, when he began to see all of the really fucked up things he was capable of. And did.

That night. That terrible night. Jess.

Brother no more. It was nice while it lasted. Sort of.

Being adopted by the Jensens was amazing - he had a roof over his head, there was always enough food, clean clothes, a warm bed, and Matt and Lainie were pretty fucking amazing. But the one thing that made it all worthwhile was laying in his lap right now.

Clay.

Just when he thought he'd never have anyone ever again who would really get him, along comes Clay. For all the shit he put him through, Clay opened his arms anyway, and helped him detox. And after the trial, he could have washed his hands clean of the whole thing.

Except he didn't.

_They left it up to me seeing as I was the person who brought you in their life in the first place._

It was Clay who decided.

Justin brought his hand up to wipe away the tears that were forming as the car screeched to a stop at the emergency room entrance. Zach laid on the horn again to get someones, anyone's, attention, and sure enough, orderlies and nurses ran through the automatic doors.

Justin looked down at his soon to be brother, the brother he always wanted - the one he needed. The one he never expected. The one who may have a cracked skull or God knows what.

"Clay, we're here....it's gonna be okay now."

But Clay didn't reply.

"Clay?"

Zach shut off the engine and got out of the car.

"Clay??"

An orderly opened the back door as Zach hurriedly tried to explain to a nurse what had happened. Another orderly was wheeling a stretcher towards the car.

"Clay, come on man...wake up, please Clay....oh my God...Zach? ZACH!"

_Wake up Clay wake up Clay wake up please...I need you...  
_

Wake up, Clay.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's Chapter Two! I told you this fic!bunny was hopping around in my head. 
> 
> So, this is obviously AU 13 Reasons Why, set shortly after the spring dance, as mentioned in Chapter One. The resolution to those events will be referred to as we progress, never fear. And more tags will be added. 
> 
> While 'A Maze of Moments' is predominantly a Clay and Justin story, there will be plenty of interactions with the others and a few twists along the way. So, as always, thanks for reading and stay tuned!
> 
> Clay and Justin will return in Chapter Three, 'Hero,' coming soon!


	3. Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay is hospitalized, the gang gathers, and Justin keeps vigil.

_Well, it was one of those great stories_  
_That you can't put down at night_  
_The hero knew what he had to do_  
_And he wasn't afraid to fight_  
  
_The villain goes to jail_  
_While the hero goes free_  
_I wish it were that simple for me_

  
\- from "Hero" by David Crosby

 

 

"Seventeen year old male, closed head trauma, probable concussion..."

The nurses and orderlies had gotten Clay out of the car, and carefully placed him on a stretcher, which was now being rolled into the emergency department and towards a treatment area. Justin and Zach followed behind. "Clay!" Justin called. "Clay, I'm right here! I'm here, it's gonna be okay!"

As Clay was wheeled into the treatment room, an attending doctor began to give orders: "Okay, let's start an IV with D5W, get a Chem 7, check for Babinski...get x-ray in here, let's set up for a CT, and find out who the neurosurgeon on call is...let's get him on the table, carefully please...on my count..."

Justin was about to go into the room when Zach held his arm and pulled him back, just as a nurse approached. "Dude, Justin, let them work, c'mon..."

"You boys will have to wait out there," the nurse said, pointing to the direction of the waiting area. "We'll come get some information from you in a few minutes. Is he on any medication?"

"No, I ...I don't think so, no.." Justin said.

"Okay, we're going to take care of him...that way," pointing towards the waiting area, he turned and pulled the curtain, but not before they saw Clay's shirt and pants being cut off of him.

Tight lipped, Zach placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "C'mon man...let's go wait for everyone."

Justin stood there, frozen.

"Justin."

Justin blinked and shook his head a little. "Yeah...okay."

 

**********

 

If there was one thing Clay's circle of friends was getting better at, it was assembling in a time of crisis and leaning on each other, working together, for support. It was, as Clay put it, a deranged sort of over-protective version of the Scooby Gang. But, it worked. The last year especially had reinforced in all of them that life was short and precious, and they came to lean on one another for support. It wasn't just for that, however. The strangest thing of all is that they figured out that they actually _liked_ each other, enjoyed each other's company, and watched each other's backs. Need a ride somewhere? Done. Help with an assignment? Got it. New game on the Xbox to try? Copy that. Just hang out at Monet's and bitch about life the world and everything? Always. Even Ryan and Courtney, who were sort of 'honorary members' of this gang of theirs, were welcomed when they joined in. So were Scott and Cyrus, because Clay determined that no one - no one - should ever feel like they were left out and didn't matter, ever again.

So, it wasn't unusual to have a bunch of teenagers at the Jensen household, or the Standall's for that matter. The Dempsey home...that was taking a bit longer, but at least Zach's mother was ever so slowly warming up to the idea.

That in mind, the fact that the waiting room of County General was full of teenagers at the moment, in addition to two extremely worried patients, really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knew them.

Zach and Alex sat next to one another. Their bond was the most surprising over the last several months, and they were pretty much best friends now. Zach sat with his arms crossed, head back and eyes closed, while Alex stared off. He hated hospitals, for obvious reasons.

Tony paced back and forth, muttering under his breath in Spanish every so often. Next to Justin, he was the closest to Clay and saw him like another brother. He wanted to hit something or someone just as badly as the newest but not quite yet a Jensen had earlier....but since he couldn't do that, the pacing was the better option. " _Jesucristo...cuando lo encuentro..."_

Ryan and Courtney sat together. At first they tried reading some of the magazines strewn about on various tables in the room to distract them, but they each found it hard to concentrate on them. So they too sat in silence.

As did Jess and Sheri. Jess had tried to talk to Justin, tried to comfort him, entice him with going to the cafeteria for something to eat, but he would not be moved. So, there he sat, in between Matt and Lainie alternating between holding his head in his hands and biting at a fingernail.

Justin had explained everything that had happened to Mr. and Mrs. Jensen, while Zach and Alex filled in everyone else.

"Matt...Lainie...I'm so sorry, if I had just gotten there sooner, but I was talking to Mr. Goddard about the history stuff I still need to make up and Zach and Alex were waiting for me...and by the time we got there, he..Clay...it's all my fault, I should have just gone there first and then..."

Lainie Jensen sighed and brought Justin in for a hug. "Justin, honey this isn't your fault at all. It's not, I promise."

"I should have been there already," came the muffled reply. Justin was, surprisingly, holding it together. Only just.

Matt placed a hand on his shoulder as Justin held onto his wife. "Justin, you got him here, didn't you? You did the right thing, from what Zach said you made the decision not to wait. You did great, kid."

Justin pulled from Lainie and turned to hug Matt. "Thanks, da....Mr. Jensen. Matt."

Matt looked at Lainie, each having a sad expression on their face. "It's gonna be all right, kid."

 

**********

 

Late afternoon turned to early evening, and it was nearly six o'clock when a nurse appeared in the waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jensen? The doctor will see you now, come on back with me."

Long, agonizing minutes passed before they returned to pass on the news to everyone else, who stood up when they approached. Lainie took a deep breath.

"Clay has a pretty bad concussion, and he's going to have to stay in the hospital overnight. All the other tests came back negative, no skull fracture, no bleeding on the brain. He's tired and in a lot of pain, but other than that, I'd say he's pretty lucky. We all are. He can probably come home sometime tomorrow."

With that news, there were sighs of relief and murmurs all around, even some hugging and a few tears shed.

"There's no point in staying here, really, he's going to be fine. So..."

The room fell quiet. For just a minute.

Then....

"Alex, we should go to your place and tell your folks what's up, drop our bags off, and pick up food...the cafeteria stuff is the shits. Sorry, Mrs. Jensen...Mr. Jensen...I mean, it sucks ass...I mean...yeah," Zach said.

"Good idea, and I'll get my dad to come here so he can talk to you about pressing charges against Montgomery. That was assault, pure and simple."

Ryan and Courtney looked at one another.

"Flowers?" Courtney asked.

"Stuffed animals," Ryan replied.

Eyes turned on them.

"What? Hospital rooms are depressing. We should get some balloons also. He'll hate that," Ryan said with a smirk.

Meanwhile, Jess and Sheri were at their phones.

"I texted Scott and Cyrus, and they're going to come by."

"Good," Sheri replied. "I've got the Monet's list. Mr. Jensen, Mrs. Jensen, what do you want? Coffee? Probably coffee...."

Tony looked at Matt. "I gotta run home real quick and tell my folks too, but I'll swing by your house and get some clothes for Clay. Spare key is under the small flower pot still? And don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. If Justin wants to come with me, that's cool."

"I...I want to stay here man," Justin said.

"Cool. Okay," Tony turned and looked at the group. "Thirty minutes? Well these two are getting food, so maybe like forty-five. And we're back here."

Head nods all around, and the group left to complete their self-assigned tasks.

Matt and Lainie stared off in wonder.

"Our son," Matt said, "has some...interesting friends."

Lainie nodded in agreement before turning to Justin. "Honey, if you want to go home, Matt can take you, it's all right."

Justin shook his head. "No...no I want to stay. Did they say...can I...I want to sit with him. Is that okay?"

"With Clay? He's being moved upstairs in a little bit and they need to get him situated..."

"Well, when they do then. I just...I want to sit with him. I don't want him to be alone or get scared when he wakes up. I know we're all gonna take turns and stuff...but I...I just don't want him to get scared. Can I?" Justin looked scared himself, and younger than he really was.

"Of course you can, kiddo."

 

**********

 

Justin pulled a chair next to the bed and looked at Clay. He was only asleep, the doctor, nurse, Matt and Lainie assured him. Three times. They would wake him up in about three hours and examine him, then let him go back to sleep, and repeat the process twice more. As long as Clay woke up each time, could recall his name, where he was, what day and time it was, things would be on the right track. It was going to be all right, he was just asleep.

"Matt, let's give him some time," Lainie whispered as she pulled her husband out of the room quietly.

The door closed, and silence fell over the room, except for the steady beep of the heart monitor and Clay's breathing.

_God._

"How could this happen," Justin said to himself.

Gently, he took Clay's hand in his own.

"Hey...hey man. You're not gonna be in here that long, just tonight. And then you get to come home, and it's the weekend so we can start on those Marvel movies like we talked about."

Justin took a deep breath.

"I'm really sorry, Clay. I'm so sorry. I should have been at your locker sooner and I could have protected you. And....and I'm sorry that sometimes I call you a dumbass, I know you're not, I'm just messing with you man. You know that, right?"

He swallowed hard before continuing.

"And I...I never said I was sorry for the way I treated you...before. All the things I said and the stupid shit I did. You didn't deserve that, Clay, you didn't. I'm sorry I did that, I really am. I wish I'd never done any of that..."

The tears that Justin had held back all afternoon and into the evening started to flow, and nothing could stop them.

"I know I get on your nerves sometimes and that I never thanked you for everything you've done. B-but...I'm gonna make it up to you...I promise...I really promise, Clay...I'm gonna be a great brother, okay? And...and I don't want you to hate me. I...I know you said...remember when you said you never stopped hating me? I know it was just that day...but please don't hate me anymore...I promise I'm gonna be a great brother, I swear..."

Several minutes went by. And then...

A squeeze.

"C-Clay?"

A thumb running over Justin's fingers.

"Clay?"

A deep breath.

"Clay!" Justin smiled through his tears.

And he heard, ever so softly, two words from his almost brother, laying there with an IV line in his arm and a pulse monitor on his left index finger, his eyes still closed:

"My hero...."

 

 

_So we sort through the pieces_  
_My friends and I_  
_Searching through the darkness_  
_To find the breaks in the sky_

-from "Hero," by David Crosby

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter Three, everyone! Hope you enjoyed reading it. As always, I appreciate your comments and feedback as we continue this journey. So I don't think the name of the hospital was ever given in 13 Reasons Why, but 'County General' sounded about as good as anything, so I'll just make it canon for my little corner of the AU.  
> This was actually the chapter in my head first, and I sort of worked backwards from there. My characterization of a few of our players in the story reflects the bond that started to form among them at the end of season two. I'm making it grow and progress from there to fit the narrative, but my hope is that it will still stay true to the original intent.  
> Never fear, Clay and Justin will return in Chapter Four of our saga, as yet unnamed, coming soon. And hey, I think it's time for Clay to have some dialogue, don't you? So, thanks for reading and stay tuned!


	4. The Things I Do For My Brother....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay wakes up and needs Justin's help...

_You've got a friend in me_  
_You've got a friend in me_  
_You got troubles, and I got them too_  
_There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you_  
_We stick together, we can see it through_  
_'Cause you've got a friend in me_  
_Yeah, you've got a friend in me_

 _-_ from "You've Got a Friend in Me" by Randy Newman

 

 

 

 

 

Clay slowly, very slowly, opened his eyes and let them adjust. The WiFi was still not all that great...better than earlier ( _what time is it?_ ) but still not that great regardless.

 He'd been asleep, he knew that, and he knew he was in a hospital, because that psychopathic asshat, Montgomery De la Cruz, had clocked him good, and Jesus Christ did his head hurt. Not as bad as earlier ( _geez it must be nighttime now..._ ) but it still hurt all the same. Well, at least the lights in the room were dim, that was nice.

 So. Let's take stock of the situation, he thought to himself.

 Clay looked to his left and saw a few stuffed animals. A couple of teddy bears, elephants, a purple-pink dragon, and even a camel.

 "Oh look, a zoo," he said to himself.

 In front of him were two rather large floral arrangements. Tulips? No, that wasn't right. Roses? Well, they were colorful, he knew that. Probably smelled nice, too.

 "And a garden."

 Over in the corner to his right was a bunch of mylar balloons of various shapes and colors, tied down to some kind of weight.

 "Ryan." He would have rolled his eyes, if he could trust that it wouldn't hurt. But, he appreciated it nonetheless, it added a nice touch to the otherwise drab shade of brown that the room had been painted.

 Looking down at himself he saw the IV line in his right arm. "Yay."

 And over to his far right, slumped in a chair, head back, mouth open, and a touch of drool coming out of the left corner of his mouth, was Justin Foley. Snoring quietly.

 Clay smiled.

The last time he woke up on his own, instead of a nurse or physician assistant coming in to do so in order to make sure his cognitive abilities weren't impaired, was several hours ago now. What woke him up was the distant and kind of muffled voice of Justin talking. While he couldn't make out everything, he distinctly heard several apologies, the promise of being a great brother, and the word dumbass, which, while he feigned indignation each time Justin called him that, he knew that it was simply a way for Justin to show affection.

 Most of the time, anyway.

He'd whispered "my hero" to Justin, and he meant it. Were it not for his arrival, there was no telling what other damage Monty would have inflicted on him. Saying that seemed to illicit a positive reaction from Justin, and that had made Clay happy before falling back asleep.

 So, that was what had led to his waking up voluntarily earlier. This time, there were two things.

 One, even with the IV hooked up, he was thirsty.

 Two, he had to use the bathroom. Badly.

 And for each of these things, he was going to need some help.

 "Justin."

 No response. 

 "Justin, wake up."

 Well, Clay thought, at least I can talk above a whisper. Good. Progress. Probably shouldn't yell though.

 "Hey, shithead...wake up."

 Justin wasn't the only one to use a sort of term of endearment.

 Frowning, he looked at the swinging tray that all hospital beds have attached to them, in this case on his left, and noticed a box of tissues. Picking them up with his non-IV arm, he took as careful of an aim as he could, all things considered, and chucked it over towards Justin....whereupon it bounced off of his head. But it did the trick.

 Inhaling, Justin sat up straight. "Two three zone when they score and man to man when they don't, I got it coach...."

 One of the first things Clay had learned about Justin was that, when he was in a deep sleep, his dreams inevitably had something to do with basketball. So, if one woke him up from said deep sleep, one just as inevitably heard something about running the zone, or man to man, or going red, whatever the hell that meant. At least it was better than when Justin had a nightmare...then, there was shaking, and sometimes crying, and a couple of times screaming. He'd gladly take the basketball stuff anytime over that, because he hated when Justin had nightmares. He hated it even more when Justin refused to talk about them. They were going to have to do something about that. But, it could wait for another time and place, because right now, Clay wanted some water and really, really needed to piss.

 "Hey," Justin said sleepily, stretching his arms over his head, a tired yet happy smile coming to his face. "You're awake again. You okay?"

 "Well, I have the worst headache in the history of like...ever. And I have a concussion. Soooo....no?"

 Justin frowned at that.

 Clay chuckled "I'm messing with you man. I mean, yeah, this sucks ass and my head really does hurt...but I'm okay. Promise."

 "Did you throw something at me?"

 "Kinda?"

 Justin looked behind him and saw the box of tissues, bent down and picked them up. "Why did you throw kleexex at me?"

 "Well, you were pretty well zoned out...and I kinda need your help..."

 Fully awake now, Justin dropped the box on the chair he had been sleeping in and came to the bed. "Yeah, sure, anything! What's up?"

 "Could I have some water?"

 There was a pitcher and a cup on the table next to the bed, which Justin used to fulfill Clay's request. "Drink it slowly....small sips."

 "Yes, mom. Speaking of which, where is she? And dad?" Clay gratefully took the cup and drank. Slowly, as per Justin's orders.

 "They went home..." Justin looked at his watch "...like, two or three hours ago, I guess. Right after the last time the nurse woke ya up."

 Clay handed the cup back. "Why didn't you go with them? And what time is it?"

 Justin pointed at the pitcher to see if Clay wanted more, but the one had done the trick as Clay nodded 'no.'

 "It's ten after four. And I...I wanted to stay here. They asked a few times if I wanted to go home with them, but...I just didn't want to leave you alone."

 Clay did that right side of his mouth half smile. "Thanks, man."

 "Don't worry about it, I wanted to..."

 "No, I mean it. Thank you. I don't think I'd like waking up here all by myself. And....I kinda still need your help with something."

 "Sure, name it."

 "Um. I have to pee."

 "Oh! I can walk you over to the bathroom, yeah, no problem."

 "Uh...I don't think that's gonna happen, Justin."

 Justin frowned again. "Why not?"

 Clay held up his arm, the one with the IV in it. "I'm still hooked up to all of this crap, and I think if we try and take it out...it's gonna set off alarms or something. And I don't think we should be rolling this stuff around."

 "Oh. Sooooo...what do we do?"

 Clay sighed and pointed behind Justin at the urine bottle.

 Justin turned around and saw what Clay had pointed towards, then turned back.

 "You're kidding."

 "I don't see any other options, do you?"

 "I gotta hold that thing and your dick and you're gonna..."

 "JUSTIN! No, you're not gonna hold anything! Just hand it to me and I'll do it under the sheets."

 "But I still gotta look at your piss when you're done..."

 "Justin..."

 "...and it's gonna be all warm and gross..."

 "Justin, I swear to God...."

 "...and then it'll just be sitting there..."

 "Justin, for the love of God will you hand me that damn thing before I wet the bed?!"

 "Okay, okay!"

 Grabbing the bottle, Justin handed it to Clay. And then stood there.

 Clay stared at him.

 "What?"

 "Turn around!"

 "Oh, right, sorry..."

 Justin made a face as he heard Clay sigh with relief and the sound of...well, just the sound. "That is so nasty."

 "You piss next to guys in the bathroom all the time."

 "Yeah, but this is just...different. How long are you going to take, you sound like a horse..."

 "Oh my God, will you shut up, I'm almost done." Clay very carefully twisted the top back on and brought the bottle back out. "Okay...here."

 Justin turned around and looked like he might vomit, but took the bottle anyway and put it back on the counter. As far away as he could, so he didn't have to see it.

 "All better?" he asked as he came back to the bed.

 "Much. Thank you. See, that wasn't so bad, and you didn't..." Clay yawned, interrupting his train of thought.

 "You should go back to sleep," Justin said softly. "The doctor said you're gonna be really tired the next few days, maybe until the middle of next week."

 Clay nodded. "Yeah. This really sucks."

 "But hey, you'll get to stay home from school, so there's that, right?"

 "Mhmm." Clay's eyelids were getting droopy.

 "Go back to sleep, man. I'll still be here when you wake up. You need anything else?"

 Clay shifted a little bit to get more comfortable, rolling halfway to his side, only enough so as not to mess up the IV. "I think I'm goo..." Another yawn.

 Justin smiled and pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down and looked at his new brother, yawning a little bit himself while doing so.

"Get some rest. I'll be here."

"I'm glad you are," Clay said sleepily.

That made Justin smile even wider. After a few minutes, Clay's face relaxed, indicating he had drifted off again.

 Impulsively, Justin reached over and stroked Clay's hair. "Night, dumbass," he said quietly, before leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes.

 Then, just before Justin nodded off, he could hear Clay, just as quietly.

 "Night, shithead."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have Chapter Four! A little bit shorter than I had originally planned, but never fear, I have quite a few things now that can spill over into our next 'episode.' Such as...since we know how Justin feels about becoming Clay's brother...I wonder what Clay thinks, especially after what happened in the halls of Liberty High that led him to this current predicament? 
> 
> The answer to that question, and more warm fuzzies and some general hilarity, when Clay and Justin return in Chapter Five, "I Bet My Life," coming soon! As always, thanks for reading, and stay tuned!


	5. I Bet My Life On You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay is discharged from the hospital, has an unusual breakfast, and opens up to Justin.

 

 

_I've been around the world and never in my wildest dreams_  
_Would I come running home to you_  
_I've told a million lies but now I tell a single truth_  
_There's you in everything I do_

-from "I Bet My Life On You," by Imagine Dragons

 

 

**Saturday Morning, 8:30**

 

"....limited television or watching movies, nothing with action scenes or the like. Comedies, cartoons even, that's fine. Very limited social media. No sports..."

  _That won't be a problem_ , Clay thought to himself as he put on a sock. The doctor was going over the aftercare instructions with his mother, Lainie, who was nodding attentively and making some notes on her phone every so often.

 "...Tylenol if he needs it, and make sure he eats a balanced diet. Other than that, unless his symptoms worsen, plan on seeing your regular physician in about five days."

 "Thank you, doctor, for everything. We'll make sure to follow all of this. To the letter," Lainie replied, looking over at Clay. "Won't we?"

 "Yep. Sure," Clay replied, putting on his other sock. Tony had dropped off some new clothes for him the previous evening since what he had worn to school that day had been cut off of him in the emergency room. _My favorite pair of jeans, too...well...maybe I can get a shopping trip out of this at least._ There was one slight problem, in that Tony, in his haste, had forgotten to pick up something that was kind of...essential. But, he figured, as long as it wasn't too long before he got home, it wouldn't be a problem.

 "Now, Clay," the doctor said, "like I told your parents, you're going to be more tired than usual these next few days, so it's fine to take naps. If light bothers you, that's normal, too, same thing for getting a dizzy spell. Just take it easy this week, and I don't see why you shouldn't make a full recovery.

 Clay stood up slowly off the bed, waving off his mother's offer of help, and extended his hand. "Got it. Thanks for everything, and I'll be good. Promise."

 "Polite young man you have here, Mrs. Jensen," the doctor said, shaking Clay's hand. "Come back right away if you need to. Take care now."

 As the doctor left the room, Clay adjusted himself, hoping his mother wouldn't see. "So, can we go now?"

 "We have to wait for the nurse, honey. They need to take you down in a wheelchair. Hospital rules."

 Clay groaned. "Mom..."

 "Ah. None of that. What did we just agree to?"

 "Ugh. Fine. I just want to move around, I've been in bed for like...twelve hours or something."

 "You'll have plenty of time to move around when you're feeling better." Lainie paused for a moment. "How're you feeling, honey? Really."

 Clay shrugged. "A little woozy I guess. My head doesn't hurt as much anymore."

 Lainie nodded. "Anything else?"

 "What do you mean?"

 Lainie sighed. "Clay...honey...that wasn't like a school fight, you were attacked...assaulted. You know we spoke with Deputy Standall last night about pressing charges?"

 "Justin mentioned it earlier. Where is he, anyway?"

 "Downstairs with your father. Clay..."

 "Mom," he interrupted, "I'm...fine. Okay? I mean, not fine but I'll get better. And as for Monty...can we talk about it later?"

 "Clay, it's serious..."

 "No, I know, I get it...I just...I don't want to talk about it right now, okay? When we get home. Later."

 Lainie was about to say something else, but a knock on the door indicated the nurse had arrived, and, finally, it was time to go.

 One elevator ride later, and Clay was wheeled out to the lobby, where his father, Justin, and Alex were waiting for him.

 "There he is, looking like FDR," Matt said, smiling.

 "Wasn't that the guy who like...shot a bear or something and they named teddy bears after him, and then they elected him like, mayor?" Justin leaned over to ask Alex.

 "Okay...remind me to tell you why there's all kinds of wrong with that later," Alex replied. "And to help you with your history homework."

"Cool."

Matt just chuckled before continuing, "Are we ready to go get something to eat?"

"Oh my God, yes, please. They wanted to give me Jello this morning," Clay said. "Where's the rest of the Scooby Gang?"

"Zach had to babysit, Tony had to do something with his brothers, not sure on Courtney and Ryan. Jess had that trip planned with her folks today, but she said she'd come visit tomorrow. I think Sheri is going to stop by your place later," Alex said.

"Oh...okay, cool." Clay blushed a little at hearing Sheri's name, which did not go unnoticed by Justin.

"I think the doctor said to take it easy this week, bro," he said with a wink.

"Shut up, Justin." Clay slowly stood up and gingerly took a few steps. Realizing he was not about to collapse ( _miracle...I can walk..._ ) he and the others made their way to the exit, making sure to walk a little slowly to accommodate both Alex and Clay.

"Hang on a sec," Clay whispered as he put his hand on Justin's shoulder to steady himself.

Justin turned his head. "What's wrong," he whispered back.

Clay adjusted himself again. "Better."

A confused look came over Justin.

"I'll tell you later."

 

**9:38**

   

There are few things in this life that are ubiquitous, but one of them is the IHOP. Casual conversation was made as menus were pondered, and finally it was time to order. Just as Clay was about to speak up, his mother interrupted.

 "He'll have an egg white omelet with spinach, turkey bacon, whole wheat toast, orange juice and two percent milk."

 "Mom!"

 "Honey, the doctor said you had to eat healthy while you recover."

 Clay could only stare, open-mouthed.

 "I'll have the chocolate, chocolate chip pancakes, a side of bacon, and a large chocolate milk."

 Clay turned his head and glared at Alex after the waitress took his order.

 "What? I never get to eat this stuff at home anymore. You won't tell, will you Mrs. Jensen? Mr. Jensen?" he said, making a puppy dog face.

 "Only this one time, kid" Matt said with a wink.

 "Dad!"

 "Your mother is right, son. Your body needs to heal as much as your brain."

 "I don't believe this," Clay muttered.

 

  **10:07**

 

"Dude" Clay whispered out of the side of his mouth to Justin, who was seated to his right.

 "S'up?" he replied while stuffing his mouth with pancakes.

 "Okay..a, slow down and chew your food....b, give me a piece of bacon..."

 "Uh..."

 "What?"

 "I already ate it."

 Clay sighed and picked up a piece of the turkey bacon. "This is not natural."

 He then looked across at Alex.

 "I'm sitting next to your mother, Clay."

 Clay sighed again and began to nibble at his faux bacon, while once more reaching down to adjust. Which did not go unnoticed by Justin.

 "You sure you're okay?"

 "I said I'd tell you later. And please, Justin...chew your food."

 

**11:10**

 

After dropping Alex off, the Jensens and almost-but-not-yet-Jensen returned home. Matt and Justin brought in armfuls of flowers and toys, while Clay made his way up the steps slowly with his mother.

 "Easy honey...take it slow."

 "I am, I am, God, mom..."

 Once inside, they sat around the kitchen table.

 "Well, I think I can actually plant some of those flowers out back in the garden. Clay, where should we put all the stuffed animals?"

 "I guess in my room for now," he shrugged.

 "Clay," Matt said, having poured himself a cup of coffee. "We need to talk about Montgomery and pressing charges."

 "Dad...do we have to right now?"

 "Well, no, but..."

 "Look. Guys. I get it. I just...don't want to talk about it right away. Okay?"

 "Clay, this is serious."

 "I know it is mom, I was the one who had my head slammed into a fucking locker, remember?"

 "Clay..."

 "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have said it like that, that was rude. But mom...dad...it's..."

 "What, son?" Matt asked.

 Justin reached over and squeezed Clay's arm. "Come on man, talk to us."

 Clay looked down at the table. "I don't know if I can do it again. I...I just don't. First Hannah's trial. Then, Justin gets arrested, and I...we...have to wait to see if he'll be released. Then, all night and the next day with the police after what Tyler...almost did. And everything was going back to normal, kind of, and now this." He raised his head and looked at each of his family in turn. "It's....it's just getting to be too much. I just want it to stop, I want to be a high school kid. This is fucking stupid now."

 Clay took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, I know, I promised I wouldn't swear like that in front of you two anymore. But mom...dad..." Clay started to cry a little. "I'm kinda at the end of my rope here."

 "Oh, honey," Lainie said, getting out of her chair and coming over to hug her son. "I never realized....I'm sorry. Okay. We don't have to decide right now. I'm sorry we pushed you, you need to get better first, and think about it some, and we all will, and we can talk about it next week. Okay?"

  _Well, that's better than nothing._

 Clay nodded and sniffed. "I'm sorry. I'm still just shaken up I guess. I wanna take a shower and a nap, is that okay?"

 "Of course it is, you need to rest."

 "Want me to help you upstairs?" Matt asked.

 "I'd like Justin to, if that's okay."

 

**11:22**

 

"Hey...sorry about that downstairs."

 Clay and Justin were now in their shared room. Justin was getting his own, as a catch-all extra room was down the hall, but it was still going to take some time with everyone's schedules to get it fully prepared. In the meantime, Clay's couch was doing just fine.

 "It's okay man, don't worry about it. I brought up a bottle of water and some Tylenol with me if you need them."

 "Thanks. I really want to shower and put on pajama pants and crawl in bed."

 "Got it. Let's go."

 "Let's go....where?"

 Justin was now getting said sleep clothes out of their shared dresser. "The bathroom, I'll help."

 "Justin, I don't need your help taking a shower, I'm....oh, whoa..." Clay held onto his desk as he got dizzy. "Yeah....okay, so maybe help me get to the bathroom and we'll go from there."

 "I'm really sorry you're going through this, Clay," Justin said, rubbing a hand up and down Clay's back. "It's only for a few days, I've had concussions, too. They suck."

 Clay nodded. "Let's get this over with."

 "What were you going to tell me later? I mean...it's later."

 Clay groaned as Justin walked him down the hall. "It's embarrassing."

 "More than me puking on your shoes?"

 They entered the bathroom.

 "So, you know Tony got me clothes to wear, right?"

 "Yeah?"

 "He forgot underwear."

 "Is that all," Justin laughed. "What, you've never freeballed before?"

 "No! And I've been flopping around all morning, and it's driving me nuts."

 Justin snickered.

 "Shut up, shithead. Okay, I'm here. You can go now."

 "You sure?"

 "Yes, I'm...." Clay held onto the sink, "....not sure. Okay. Fuck. Yeah, so you're gonna have to help me a little and wait until I'm done."

 "No problem, dumbass, whatever you need. I'm here for ya."

 "The door closed?"

 Justin pushed it shut. "It is now."

 "God this is going to suck." Clay unbuttoned his pants and began to lower his zipper when he stopped and turned to face his almost brother. "I swear...if you say anything....I mean anything...to anyone..."

 "Clay, I've been in locker rooms, you don't got anything I haven't..."

 Clay finished pulling down his zipper, and without a belt, his pants dropped almost instantly.

 "Holy shit....dude..."

 "Justin..."

 "How have you never gotten laid?"

 "Justin..."

 "How come I never knew about this?"

 "Oh my God, Justin..."

 "Does this mean you're the BIG brother?"

 "Justin, I will seriously, with the last strength in my body..."

 Justin laughed, "Okay, okay. But really...how did I not know about this?"

"Probably because we didn't have P.E. at the same time, and I waited to shower until everyone else did, and I wasn't exactly going to start a conversation about my penis with you. I'm serious. Not a damn word. To anyone."

 "Not even Sheri?"

 "Justin Foley Almost Jensen, so help me..."

 

 

**11:58**

 

"Here," Justin handed the water and Tylenol to an increasingly sleepy Clay. "Need help?"

 "Thanks, i got it."

 Clay opened the bottle of water and started to pour some of it in his hand. "Wait...no."

 "Here, let me. Sit down."

 Clay shuffled over to the bed and yawned, then held out his hand for the pill ( _only one, mom said_ ) for the slight headache that had come on. Justin then turned his attention to the blinds, closing them, so the room dimmed and had only a little light coming through. "Want me to close the window? Kinda cool outside today. I can get you another blanket if you want?"

 Clay drank some water and then put the bottle down on the side table. Thinking for a moment, he looked over to the couch. "Can I wear that?" he asked.

 Justin turned and saw one of his Liberty High hoodies.

 "Yeah...but you sure you don't want a blanket?"

 Clay shook his head. "I'd....I'd like to wear it to sleep. Is that okay?" he asked again, softly.

 "Yeah....yeah sure." Inside, Justin's heart swelled. He handed over the hoodie, which Clay put on. It was a touch big on him, but it was soft and it was warm.

 "Anything else?"

 Clay inhaled. "Yeah. Sit down for a sec," he patted the bed.

 Justin sat.

 "What's up?"

 Clay turned to look at Justin.

 "So...I don't hate you."

 Justin swallowed.

 "I heard what you said. Last night. I couldn't really say anything at the time, but...I heard you. Justin...I don't hate you."

 "Thanks, man..."

 "Let me finish. I'm...really proud of you, you know? You're still going to your meetings, you're clean, you're getting caught up in school. And I may not show it sometimes...but I'm really happy mom and dad are going to adopt you."

 Justin smiled and started to tear up.

 "Do you know why your room hasn't been used for anything? It's because when I was born, there were some...complications....and mom could never have more kids after that. So...that was supposed to be a bedroom for...well. Anyway. And growing up, I used to get...like, really lonely sometimes? 'Cause I was an only child and all that. And it got better once I met Tony and Alex...Jeff. But it was never the same thing, you know?"

 Justin nodded, crying silently now.

 "So...it was a crazy idea, yeah, and the more I thought about it, it made sense because you need a family who will take care of you and all the family stuff. And it made sense because...I always wanted a brother. And when I heard you call me that yesterday at school....I mean, it was the first time I heard you say it...."

 Clay took a deep breath.

 And leaned over.

 And for the first time, hugged Justin. Not a typical, guy's side hug, but a full blown hug, and rested his chin on Justin's shoulder, who hugged right back.

 "I'm really, really glad you're going to be my big brother. And I'm proud of you. And...I love you."

 Justin tightened his hug. "I'm the big brother?"

 Clay nodded. "Yeah. That okay?"

 "More than okay. And...I...I love you, too."

 As impulsively as Justin stroked Clay's hair the night before, Clay  just as impulsively kissed Justin on the cheek. "You're going to be an awesome brother."

 After another minute, Clay let go of Justin, wiped away a couple tears of his own, and yawned, causing Justin to laugh.

 "Yeah, I know...our first real moment and I yawn."

 "Get some sleep, Clay. Wake you up in a couple hours?"

 "Make it three," Clay said, getting under the covers.

 "You got it."

 Justin leaned down and kissed the top of Clay's head, which made him smile and sigh contentedly as he pulled the hood over to his face and nuzzled in it.

 "See you in a couple hours, bro."

 Clay nodded.

 As Justin was about to walk out of the room, he heard Clay one last time.

 "If you ever say anything about my dick, I will punch you."

 

 

**12:27 Saturday Afternoon.**

 

_So I, I bet my life, I bet my life_  
_I bet my life for you_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted humor? You wanted warm fuzzies? You wanted some hints as to where we're going? You got 'em! Welcome once again, and thanks for reading Chapter Five!  
> I think this one speaks for itself. I really look forward to hearing what everyone thinks about this one, as your feedback is everything. As always, stay tuned, Clay and Justin (plus a whole bunch more!) will return soon in Chapter Six, 'Seven Wonders,' as our Maze of Moments continues!  
> Now what is Clay going to do all week at home. And with whom...?


	6. But I'd Be Yours....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Justin slowly comes to accept that he has real parents, and Clay has a visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The previously teased Chapter, "Seven Wonders," is coming soon!

 

 

 

_I know I tried, I was not stable_  
_Flawed by pride, I miss my sanguine eyes_  
_So hold my hands up, breathe in and breathe out_

\- from "Lover of the Light," by Mumford and Sons

 

 

 

Justin walked down the stairs after tucking in Clay for his nap, and was texting as he did so.

 

**Justin:** _Update...clay is taking a nap, seems ok_

**Zach:**   _ok sounds good thx_

**Alex:** _good_

**Jess:** _that's great...mom and dad say to tell him hi be there tomorrow_

**Tony:** _excelente...need me?_ **  
**

**Justin:** _nah we good right now_

**Ryan:** _he hated the balloons right? :D  
_

**Justin:** _lol kinda but was still happy thanks for those_

**Sheri:** _yay! it still ok for me to stop by?_

 

Justin stopped mid-step and grinned.

 

  
**Justin:** _yea for sure!!_

**Sheri:** _K....see you later_

**Cyrus:** _lemme know if ya need anything_

**Scott:** _same for me man_

**Alex:** _sheri you'll perk him right up ;)  
_

**Zach:**   _LOL!_

**Jess:** _LMAO!!_

**Cyrus:** _let's get it on...he said like Marvin Gaye_

**Sheri:** _.....OMG you guys...._

**Courtney:** _*eye roll emoji*_

**Tony:** _you people are ridiculous...why do I associate with you all again??_

**Zach:** _cause you love us big papi_

**Tony:** _watch it Dempsey_

**Justin:** _LMFAO....ok, update y'all later..._

 

 Justin put his phone in his pocket and turned to his right to go into the living room.

"Justin?" Lainie called from the kitchen.

"Yeah mom?" he replied without thinking...and froze mid-step.

He had been struggling for some time now with what to call Matt and Lainie. At first, it was all "Mr. and Mrs. Jensen" all the time. Then, after some reassurances and insistence from them both, it became "Matt and Lainie." But, as those first few awkward days slowly became less awkward weeks, he found himself becoming more and more comfortable around them, and gradually began to find himself using "mom and dad," or starting to before he caught and corrected himself. He actually started to do it more and more after the events of the spring dance. The sight of a gun pointed at Clay by Tyler had shaken him up to the point where it finally dawned on him that these people, this family, they actually _wanted_ him in their lives, and it was a second chance, and that life was too short for him to really fuck up this opportunity. That was why, that night at the police station, he confessed to shooting up heroin earlier that week, and that he really, really wanted help, and he promised he would do whatever it took to prove himself worthy of their trust and love.

It was also the same night that he realized he really did like Clay, the little dumbass. He had been disappointed and angry....very, very angry...but after the yelling and shouting match of the century that lasted most of that Sunday, he had finally calmed down:

"You WILL get off of this shit, and I WILL help you do it. Got it, shithead? Don't you dare fuck this up. Now get to bed, we have school in the morning. If you're good, I'll even take you to McDonald's before we get there for breakfast," he had said that night.

So, following that long weekend, Lainie researched and found an outpatient program, he began to take methadone, and started to attend a weekly NA meeting. The cravings and self-doubt, they were still there, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be, and he accepted the random phone check by Matt or Lainie, the curfew, a structured routine and the weekly room check as well. If that was the price he had to pay, giving up a piece of his privacy every so often, then so be it. Even Clay, who had finally stopped being pissed at him by mid-week and had gotten back into their routine of banter and playful annoyance, had to admit that Justin had really stepped up his game and was following through in a way that pleasantly surprised him.

He was going to do this. He had a lot riding on it. A home, a family.

And, he was the big brother now.

Clay had been there for him through all of this, which is why when Justin saw what had happened yesterday at school, he snapped and his instincts had kicked in.

_MotherFUCKER!!!_

_Stay the fuck away from him and if you EVER touch my brother again I swear to fucking God I WILL kill you!! You understand me you piece of shit!?  
_

Seeing Clay get hurt the way he did, seeing who had been responsible...it was a like a light switch had been flicked on in his head. He had a brother, after all this time, a real one, one who wasn't using him as a pawn the way Bryce did. It felt good to have that.

Still, there was the whole issue of Clay's parents.

Did he _really_ have a mom and a dad now? Like...for real? Like a mom who wasn't high most of the time and who was interested in him and what he liked, and made sure he was fed and had clean clothes? A dad who was...a dad, not one of any number of guys who seemed to come through a revolving door or who dealt drugs and threatened his life and beat him up? A dad who cooked and who listened and could be generally dorky at times, but still through it all, really cared?

"Justin?" Lainie called again, breaking his thoughts.

"Yeah...uh, coming."

Justin went into the kitchen and saw Lainie at the counter, cutting up some kind of vegetable. Probably for Clay, who would hate it.

"What's up?"

Lainie looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Come over here, you can help. Cut up some carrots."

"Yeah, okay." Justin walked over and opened a draw for another knife.

"How's he doing?" Lainie asked as she sliced into a beet.

"He's good. He felt better after getting cleaned up. Started to get a little headache but it didn't seem bad or anything. Went right to sleep. He's gonna do that a lot for awhile, huh?"

"Probably. You know, I used to think teenagers took a lot of naps to begin with, maybe too many. I don't seem to mind right now though."

"Yeah."

"So, Justin. About what happened. We really need to do something about it, or, God forbid, Clay could get hurt again, or you could, or some other student."

"No, I know," Justin replied as he cut a carrot up. "I mean...I get it, Monty is a pri...uh, a jerk."

"He is a prick isn't he?" Lainie smiled again.

Justin laughed. "Yeah...yeah he is. Always was. I don't know why I even hung out with him...before. Same for Alex. Probably because he was, like, Bryce's tag team partner or something."

He paused.

"But...I think Clay is right, in a way? With everything that's happened this school year, and him being in the middle of most of it....he needs a break, you know?"

Lainie thought for a moment.

"What about a restraining order?"

"What about it?"

"Well. It might cause some complications at the school, but after everything they've ignored or turned a blind eye to, it might just serve them right. We could file a restraining order, and Montgomery would have to stay away from Clay, and you, and if he doesn't then he'd be arrested."

"Wouldn't that, like...screw up his class schedule and stuff? And with it being so close to the end of the year?"

Lainie looked at Justin and winked. "I guess it would, now wouldn't it."

"Hardcore. I like it."

"Look, Justin, I'd like to see Montgomery removed from the school altogether, and even more, put in jail for what he did. And, we're still going to have this conversation with Clay. But if he's still reluctant, this is our fallback."

Justin nodded. "Okay. Yeah. I think he'd still hate that, kinda, but maybe it's better than nothing."

They went on slicing and cutting for a few minutes in silence.

"Justin?"

"Hmm?"

"You know...you _can_ call us mom and dad."

Justin stopped in mid-slice.

"It's perfectly fine. I _want_ you to call us that. I know we're never going to replace your mother and father. But, honey...there's a big difference between being a mother and being a mom. Same thing for father and dad. You're a part of this family now, you can breathe around us."

Lainie nudged Justin playfully.

"I even understand you called Clay your brother for the first time."

"Zach told you that, huh?" Justin blushed.

"He did, last night. Justin," Lainie smiled as she put down her knife. "It's okay. It really is. You're home."

Justin put down the knife he was using and hugged Lainie. "Thanks....mom. Wow. That feels good, to like...say it."

"I'm glad it does, sweetie. Now, ready to shred some kale with me?"

_He is so gonna hate this_ , Justin thought.

 

**********

 

"Clay? Time to get up. Wakey wakey."

Justin shook Clay gently. In return, all he got was some mumbling.

"Get back into the Tardis...Daleks...Davros...run Sarah Jane..."

Justin stood up straight, confused.

"Do what now?"

He tried again, nudging Clay a touch more firmly this time.

"Dumbass, time to get up...been three hours, man. We still have some lunch waiting for ya."

Clay just snuggled into the pillow and hood portion of what he was wearing.

"Here have a jelly baby..." he mumbled again.

Justin stood up straight once more.

"What's a jelly baby? Clay, c'mon bro, you have a visitor."

Clay just burrowed deeper and continued to mumble in his sleep as he went on about Sontarans and something called a K-9.

Justin shook his head and went to the doorway of their room.

"You try, maybe you'll have more luck. What's a jelly baby?"

Sheri just shrugged and went over to the bed and knelt by it.

"Hey there handsome guy."

Clay smiled and giggled in his sleep.

"Come on now, it's time to get up. Don't you want me to keep you company for a little while?"

Clay giggled again and turned over, slowly opening his eyes.

Which then went wide.

Clay sat up straight. "Ummm...hey! Hi! Hello! Uhhh....good morning?"

Sheri leaned back a little and laughed. "Hi there yourself. How're you feeling?"

"Ummm....great! Well...not great...but good. Better. Better now. Much."

"Oh, really," she replied with a smirk.

Clay immediately went to try and smooth down his bedhead. "Yep!"

Sheri stood up and laughed as she left the room. "I'll wait for you two downstairs, okay?"

Justin looked over at his brother. "Smooth, dude," he said, grinning.

"Shut up. Oh my God, she saw me all....and my hair...and I think I was drooling."

"It's fine, relax. C'mon, let's get ya downstairs and get some food in you. You have a yummy kale salad with beets and carrots and some kind of dressing."

Clay looked up and made a face. "What?"

"Hey, I helped make it."

"That's....great. How is it?"

Now it was Justin's turn to make a face. "I mean....I'll eat pretty much anything...but..."

"That's what I thought. Wonderful." Clay stood up slowly and took off the hoodie, putting it on the bed behind him. "Let me pee and do something with my hair and I'll be down in a minute. Probably should brush my teeth, too."

"Okay. Let's go."

"Justin, you don't.....okay, fine. Just wait outside the bathroom and I'll tell you if I need help."

"Cool. How're you feeling?"

Clay shrugged.

"Really, Clay, c'mon. How're you feeling."

"Okay I guess. Still kinda loopy but okay."

"Promise? Like, you'll tell me if something's wrong, yeah?"

Clay nodded and gave his usual half-smile. "Promise."

And so, just as they did a few hours earlier, they walked down the hall towards the bathroom.

"What's a jelly baby," Justin asked.

Clay just groaned.

 

_To be continued!_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hi there, and thanks for reading Chapter Six! So, while "Seven Wonders" is still on its way, never fear, this little bunny popped into my head this morning and needed to get out. We have a sort of two-parter going on here, and you'll see it's conclusion tomorrow. So yes, this one was a little short, but hey, hopefully it'll tide you over for the first part of this weekend!
> 
> I'm slowly starting to address some of the events in the final episode of season two, and will continue to flesh these out as we go merrily along. Also, based on that episode, it is nearing the end of the school year, and Ye Writer has something cooking for that.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and the kudos. Leave some feedback and suggestions below in the comments, and as always, stay tuned for more Maze, as Clay and Justin (and Sheri!) will return soon!


	7. ....If You'd Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sheri joins the Jensens for some family time, Clay asks Sheri out (sort of?), and has a nightmare.

 

 

 

 

_And in the middle of the night, I may watch you go_  
_There'll be no value in the strength of walls that I have grown_  
_There'll be no comfort in the shade of the shadows thrown_  
_You may not trust the promises of the change I'll show_  
_But I'd be yours if you'd be mine_

\- from "Lover of the Light," by Mumford and Sons

  

Clay sat at the kitchen table, and slowly made his way through his, as Justin called it, "yummy" salad. Sheri sat to his left, Justin was at the sink, doing some dishes. _Yummy my concussed ass_ , he thought to himself.

 "So I was thinking," Sheri started. "Since you're going to have to stay home all week, and your parents said their schedules are kinda crazy but they don't want you alone all day, why don't we take turns signing out for lunch and coming here to spend some time with you? Bring you homework, stuff like that? I think a couple of us even have some personal days saved up and we can cash those in. What do you think?"

Clay chewed, feeling more and more like a rabbit, and swallowed. Slowly. "Ugh....shit."

Sheri raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, no! Not to your idea, no that's...that's cool, yeah. I'd like that...it's this stuff, sorry...it's...not good. Justin, can't I have something else?"

"Sorry, bro," Justin replied while wiping his hands. "Mom and dad gave strict orders that you were to finish that by the time they got home from the store."

"But...like....we could just... _tell_ them I ate it..."

"No can do. C'mon, it can't be that bad. I told ya I helped make it."

"Yes. Yes, you did. You also sort of implied you wouldn't eat it."

"Well. I mean, that's like, different. Look, just eat it man, you're almost done."

"Ughhh. Fine."

Sheri laughed. "You two are too cute together, you know that? Like, you've been together your whole lives."

"Feels that way sometimes."

"Hey!" Justin said, offended.

"No..no, I don't mean it like _that_ , shithead. I mean it like...we just kinda...I dunno, gelled together."

"Oh. I mean, yeah. Yeah I guess you're right. Now I just gotta get you to stop being a dumbass all the time," Justin winked.

"Hey, be nice to me! I have a concussion."

"You are gonna milk that for all it's worth, aren't you," Sheri said. "But for real, what do you think of my idea?"

"Well," Clay said before taking a sip of water, "I mean...as long as no one gets in trouble or anything, and my... _our_...parents don't mind," Clay smiled at Justin, who smiled back, "then, yeah. Why not. It'll probably keep me from going stir crazy."

"Okay," Sheri replied with a smile, "I'll make all the arrangements with the Gang."

"Cool." Clay looked over at her and blushed before looking down at his now empty plate. "Oh, thank God. It's gone."

Justin pulled out a chair and sat. "Nice timing, right when I got done. I'll wash that in a sec. So...I was thinking, too."

"Always dangerous."

"Be quiet and listen, dumbass. Look. When you're better, and the doctor says it's like okay, we should work out together."

Clay was about to take another drink of water, and stopped as the bottle was about to hit his mouth. "We should....do what together?"

"Work out. I mean, why not? I need to get back into shape if I want to play ball next year, and you like, rode your bike and ran and stuff, so it's not like you're a weakling or anything. Maybe we can go box with Tony. And this way, just in case some of the goons are around and we're not...."

"Justin. Me. Working out."

"Yeah."

"Did you get a concussion, too?"

Justin opened his mouth to say something when Sheri chimed in. "I mean, it wouldn't be bad for you, Clay. It's not like you don't have muscle or anything, you just gotta build up a little more is all."

Clay blushed again. "I....have....I do?"

Sheri nodded. "Mhmm. I've seen you after a run while we were having cheerleading practice, I've seen those abs."

Clay blushed even more as Sheri continued. "And besides, it'll be good for you, it's healthy."

"Right," Justin chimed in, "and it'll come in handy for...stuff."

"What 'stuff'?" Clay asked.

"Just....you know. Stuff."

Sheri laughed again, and Clay was about to press on when the sound of the front door opening meant that their parents were now home, and he had been saved from a potentially awkward remaining conversation.

"Okay...well....let me think about it."

"Think about what, kiddo?" Matt said as he came into the kitchen with two armfuls of groceries. Justin immediately got up to help.

"Clay is gonna work out with me when he gets better," he said, taking one of the bags.

"Hey, that's great. We'll have two little bodybuilders here in no time. Sheri, would you like to stay for dinner? I'm making Matt Jensen's Famous Lasagna."

"Sheri, girl," Justin said as he turned to her, "you've GOT to try his lasagna, it's fuc...ummmm....freaking amazing!"

"Yeah," Clay interjected, "it really is awesome. Can you stay? Please?" he asked with a smile.

"Okay...yeah, sure, let me just text my folks."

"And Clay," Lainie said as she entered the kitchen with two bags of groceries herself, "is having a chickpea and sweet potato stew with quinoa."

"Mommmmm......."

 

**********

Sheri explained her idea to Matt and Lainie, who somewhat reluctantly agreed. As long as Clay texted them every few hours, they had said.

Justin cut into the lasagna tray and scooped out a slice. Putting the spatula back down, he licked some sauce off the side of his hand as he turned around and saw Clay staring at the concoction their mother had prepared. Sadly.

He thought for a moment and sighed. Turning back, he carefully placed his piece back into the tray and the plate in the sink. Opening the cabinet, he took out a bowl and went to the pot on the stove to scoop out some of the same meal Clay was being subjected to.

Walking over to the table, he pulled out a chair and sat next to Clay and looked over at him.

Clay looked up and over at what Justin had in front of him.

"Thanks, bro," he said quietly.

Justin held out a fist for a bump, which Clay reciprocated, and they both dug their forks in, apprehensively.

"You so fucking owe me," Justin whispered.

 

 **********

 

That Saturday evening became an impromptu family movie night, since Clay was in no shape to go anywhere, and besides, they had company after all. Doctor's orders meant nothing loud or with heavy action, so Matt suggested a classic, "Doctor Zhivago." Sheri started to get into it as the movie went along, owing to the romance and drama involving Yuri and Lara. Justin tried to pay attention, but had clearly zoned out after the first half hour.

Clay, who had been picking at a rather small bowl of almonds while everyone else had homemade caramel corn, was also zoning out, but only when it came to the movie. His attention was drawn more over to Sheri.

_She's so pretty...and nice...and she's such a good person with a good heart._

Carefully so as not to tip off his mother, he pulled out his phone to text.

**Dumbass:** _yo_

Justin, who was half-asleep, jerked a little and pulled out his phone.

**Shithead:** _s'up?_

**Dumbass:** _you awake over there?_

**Shithead:** _I am now...omg this is awful_

**Dumbass:** _soooo...I think I like Sheri....like seriously in like with her_

Justin laughed out loud when he saw that, causing heads to turn.

"Uh, sorry, something Zach texted. My bad."

**Shithead:** _are you like a twelve year old? who says their in like with someone?_

**Dumbass:** _*they're and don't make fun of me I have a concussion. come on help me out here. what do I do???_

**Shithead:** _ask her out_

**Dumbass:** _like....on a date?_

**Shithead:** _no a trip to the moon what do you think???_

**Dumbass:** _but I can't do anything this week?_

**Shithead:** _for when you get better doofus....ask her tonight_

**Dumbass:** _ok...what should I ask her to do???_

**Shithead:** _B==D_

**Dumbass:** _omg....really?_

**Shithead:** _for you its more like B=============D_

"Clay, are you on your phone? Remember what the doctor said, you had social media time already this afternoon," Lainie said as she looked over.

"I'm almost done, mom, just gotta finish an email."

"An email?"

"Uhhh...yeah, Alex had a question about something for school."

**Dumbass:** _dude, really???_

**Shithead:** _LOL_

**Dumbass:** _Justin come on please..._

**Shithead:** _I dunno clay!! ask her to the movies or something! just not a movie like this shit!_

Clay nodded to himself and put his phone away.

After another hour of the Russian Civil War being played out on the television, Clay yawned and rubbed his temples.

"Honey, are you all right?" Lainie asked.

"Yeah...I'm just getting a little headache again is all. And I'm kinda sleepy."

"Well," Matt said as he stood up," we can finish this another night. Clay should get some rest and I know his mother and I need it, too. Long night last night."

"Sorry, dad," Clay said quietly.

"No, son, I didn't mean it like that. This isn't your fault, you know that, right?"

Clay nodded, a little sadly.

"Hey," Sheri said softly as she stood and came over to him. "It really isn't your fault, Clay."

Clay looked down at his hands.

"Look," Sheri tried again. "Why don't you get a good night's rest. I bet you'll feel better in the morning. Okay?"

Clay still looked a little sad, but nodded his head and smiled.

"Thanks for letting me stay for dinner Mr. and Mrs. Jensen. This movie is actually really good. It's soooo sad."

Justin stretched. "Needs more war stuff. Blood and guts. Too much snow."

"It's Russia, Justin," Sheri laughed. "Walk me to the door, handsome guy?" she asked Clay.

Matt and Lainie looked at each other, Matt winking and Lainie putting a hand up to her mouth to cover her grin.

"Y-yeah. Sure...okay."

"Not too long outside, Clay," Lainie said.

Clay and Sheri walked onto the front porch. "Kinda chilly out here, your mom is right, don't stay out too long."

"I won't. So.....I'm really glad you came by today."

"Me too."

"Um. Sheri?"

Sheri looked back at Clay as she walked down the steps.

"Umm. Would you....I mean, if you wanted to....I was thinking. We could hang out...maybe watch another movie? Together? Like, just you and me, and not my parents or Justin around and we could like not do it here and maybe get like...food, or something, like real food for me, and like, before or after, and we could...kinda....like, hang out?""

Sheri walked back up the steps to Clay and kissed him on the cheek. "I'd like that. Night, Clay."

"Yeah....night!'

Clay walked back inside and saw Justin waiting for him.

"Well?"

"So yeah. I asked her to hang out."

"Hang out."

"Yep."

"You asked her to hang out. And not, like, on a date."

"Well...it basically implied...."

"Let's get you upstairs. You're gonna be a lot of work, you know that?"

"Shut up, Justin..."

 

**********

_Jensen!_

Monty was coming towards him with his fist already clenched, and he was getting closer.

_Looks like I didn't finish the job the first time, did I?_

Closer and closer and there was nowhere to run, couldn't back away....

_Already took care of that freak Tyler, now all I gotta do is get rid of you!_

No please don't do this not again please don't please don't it hurt so bad last time

_You're gonna wish you had never been fucking born, Jensen!_

Please don't please don't please don't hit me...

 

**********

 

Clay sat up in bed with a start, panting heavily, hands shaking. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and put his head in his hands.

_My head hurts again._

He whimpered a little.

_And now my stomach too._

Looking over at the clock he saw that it was well after two. He was shaking and cold, and his headache was back.

_They said I'd get headaches....and nauseous..._

When he had had nightmares when he was younger, he would go to his parents bedroom. Instinctively, he stood up and took a few shaky steps before looking over at his couch. changing direction, he went over towards it.

"J...Justin?" he said in a broken voice.

Justin inhaled in his sleep and rolled over, opening his eyes.

"Clay?"

"J...Justin...I don't...I don't feel good...and...and I had a night...a nightmare..."

Justin sat up and stood up like a shot.

"M-monty...Monty was...he was coming...he was gonna beat me up again and I couldn't run and...and I got scared and my head hurts and my stomach hurts..." Clay sobbed.

"Hey...hey hey hey hey, it's okay, it's over, you're okay," Justin said as he pulled Clay into a hug. "You're okay, I've got you. Want me to get mom and dad?"

Clay shook his head and held onto Justin as he sobbed into his shoulder.

"Okay...it's okay." Justin kept his embrace and rubbed Clay's back for a minute or two. "Hey, mom bought ginger ale today. Want me to get you some for your stomach?"

"O...okay...yeah..."

"Okay," Justin said, pulling back. "Let me run downstairs and I'll be RIGHT back."

Clay nodded and pulled up his shirt to wipe at his eyes before siting down on the couch.

Justin ran out of their room and down the stairs, getting what he needed from the kitchen, then back up, taking the stairs two at a time.

"Here," he said, kneeling in front of Clay and twisting off the cap of the small bottle. "Drink it slowly...it'll make you feel better. I brought some more pills, too, and a thing of crackers."

Clay nodded again and took the bottle from Justin, sipping at it after he swallowed the Tylenol. Justin sat next to him on the bed, and pulled out a saltine from the package and handed it over. Together, they sat in silence for a time, that silence only broken by the munch of a cracker or a sip of soda, or Clay's breath catching in that convulsive way that happens sometimes after crying.

"Sorry," he said quietly after a few minutes.

"Hey, you don't have anything to be sorry for. You feel a little better now?"

Clay nodded 'yes.'

"C'mon, let's get you back to bed."

"Can I wear your hoodie?" Clay asked. Again, quietly. "Please? It...it makes me feel better. I feel safe."

"Sure, of course you can." Justin got up and went over to the closet and got it back out from where he had hung it up earlier. He handed it over to Clay, who put the bottle of soda down, and put it on.

"You ready to try and go back to sleep?"

Clay nodded.

"Okay, come on."

He walked Clay over to his bed, and straightened out the sheets a little and fluffed up the pillows.

"Please...please don't tell mom and dad," Clay asked.

"Yeah, okay."

"Would you......will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Justin nodded as Clay got into bed. Then, he squeezed in next to him. It wasn't meant for two fully grown teenagers, but he'd make it work.

Clay pulled up the hood over his head, and then lay on Justin's chest as he held him.

And there, in the middle of the night, the two brothers lay. Each in their own way, imperfect and damaged. Each needing one another.

 

_But I'd be yours, if you'd be mine._

-"Lover of the Light," Mumford and Sons

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings once more and thanks for reading Chapter Seven! We've got a lot to talk about, don't we? 
> 
> The song lyrics: we have all kinds of meaning here. Last chapter, it had to do with Justin's acceptance of his new status with the Jensen family. This chapter, at the beginning, that has to do with Clay and his feelings towards Sheri, and how he'll slowly try to get back to something resembling 'normal' when it comes to being a teenager. At the end of the chapter? Well....I think that speaks for itself.
> 
> The texts: it makes perfect sense....well, to Ye Writer anyway...that Justin and Clay would have each other saved in their phones that way!
> 
> Sheri and Clay: I'll allude to what happened in Season One when the time comes, never fear! And Clay's reluctance and general awkwardness in asking her out, I mean, the poor guy just hasn't had the very best track record when it comes to this sort of thing, and I tried to reflect that in this chapter.
> 
> Justin and Clay: Okay, so I am living for these two and their growing bond. We're going to see it be somewhat one-sided for a little bit because, after all, Clay is hurt. Never fear, Clay will be returning all of these favors down the road.
> 
> I've got so much cooking in my head regarding this story and where I want to take it, which will include a special guest star from a totally different show a little later down the line. Who might that be? Well...if that isn't enough to entice you to keep reading, then I don't know what is!
> 
> As always, I appreciate your kudos and your comments mean everything to me. I look forward to your feedback and suggestions!
> 
> So, stay tuned, friends, Clay and Justin (plus a whole lot more) will return in the previously promised 'Seven Wonders,' our next chapter, coming soon!


	8. Seven Wonders - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay starts his week at home while recovering, and is having trouble sleeping.

 

_If I live to see the seven wonders_  
_I'll make a path to the rainbow's end_

-from "Seven Wonders," by Fleetwood Mac

 

 

**Sunday**

The last day of the weekend passed in relative quiet. Matt caught up on some of his grading, Lainie did some cleaning around the house with Justin's help...and Clay kept mostly to himself. Other than a protest or eye roll at the excessively healthy foods that his mother continued to put in front of him, he'd been quiet the better part of the day, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. There had been the occasional drowsiness and mild headache, and once he had complained that the living room was too bright, but that had largely been it. Replies to texts from the Gang asking about him were kept short and to the point - except for the one from Sheri. That one he allowed a little bit longer of a conversation until his father reminded him that he needed to limit his phone and computer use.

Justin started that morning by dislodging himself from Clay and quietly getting out of his bed. Stretching and cracking his neck ( _how the fuck did we both fit in there..?_ ), he looked back on his still sleeping brother to be and frowned. He had seen Clay shaken and upset before, but nothing like earlier that morning. He had seemed so vulnerable, so much younger than his seventeen years when he had woken up Justin crying. It was like Clay had become a little boy.

_That musta been one hell of a nightmare._

So, he spent the first part of the day trying to be a good big brother, even sharing in the breakfast of oatmeal and a grapefruit half instead of pancakes, doing little things like making sure Clay got up and down the stairs without getting dizzy, and trying to engage him in conversation. After awhile though, it was clear that, while he wasn't exactly doing more harm than good, Clay basically wanted to be left alone.

"Justin. Stop hovering, okay?"

"Yeah...okay. I'm just making sure you're..."

"Justin, I'm fine. Really. I just...I don't feel all that great, okay?"

So, that was when Justin chose to help with the cleaning. It's not like Clay had snapped at him or anything, far from it, but he seemed distant.

_He'll be back to normal when he's feeling better._

That night as they were preparing for bed, Justin tried one last time for that day.

"You gonna be okay tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's fine. I think Tony is coming by," Clay replied as he pulled a shirt over his head.

"Cool. So...you good for tonight?"

Clay had been pulling back his comforter and stopped.

"Clay, it's okay man..."

"Can I wear your hoodie again?" Clay asked, barely above a whisper.

"Clay..."

"Please?" Again, almost a whisper.

Justin sighed and got up from the couch, retrieving the hoodie once more from the closet, and walked over to Clay. He put a hand on Clay's shoulder, as his back was still turned, causing him to jump a little.

"Clay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Y-yeah. It was just a bad dream. I'm sorry about that last night."

"Bro, it's okay to be, like, scared. You know? But he's not gonna hurt you again. Ever. I promise."

Clay nodded and turned around, taking the hoodie from Justin and putting it on.

"You wanna talk about it?" Justin asked.

Clay opened his mouth and hesitated. He licked his suddenly dry lips.

"Not...not really."

"Clay..."

"I...I don't want to, okay?"

Justin sighed again and nodded. "Okay. But Clay, you made a promise to me yesterday..."

"No...no, I know I did...but..it was just a bad dream. Really."

"Clay."

"Justin, really. Please?"

"Okay, man, all right. But...you wake me up if you need to. Got it?"

"Got it."

Justin gave Clay a quick hug. "Get some sleep."

As he turned to go to the couch, Justin's eye caught the small zoo of stuffed animals that had been purchased for Clay in the hospital and were now calling the desk home, temporarily.

"I named the camel."

Clay had gotten into bed and was pulling the sheets up when he stopped. "You...named the camel."

"Fred."

"You named a stuffed camel....Fred."

"Yeah." Justin was now getting himself situated on the couch.

"I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but what the hell. Why did you name the camel Fred?"

"I dunno. It just seemed like a name for a camel."

Clay actually chuckled at that and smiled. "A camel named Fred. Yeah....why not. Night, shithead."

"Night, dumbass. Love ya."

_No, Clay, I didn't name any of them....but I just got ya to laugh for the first time all day...._

 

**Monday**

After assuring and reassuring and then assuring one more time that he was going to be fine, and that, yes, he would text every couple of hours, Clay saw his parents off to their jobs that morning. Closing the door and sighing, he went into the kitchen where Justin was finishing up eating.

"Don't fuck up my car this week."

"Dude, when have I ever done that? I'm a fucking awesome driver."

"Just making sure," Clay said as he sat at the table.

"I'll make sure we get your homework and all. I'll come home right after school. When's Tony getting here?"

"Probably around 11:30. Said he'd have lunch with me then head back."

"Cool." Justin drank the last of his coffee. "You gonna be okay until then?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. You want the rest of this?"

Justin looked down at the bowl of Grape Nuts.

"I'll take that as a no, then."

"That would be correct," Justin replied as he stood up. "You take it easy today, okay? And remember the rules, if you have to go upstairs...."

".....do it slowly, I know, I know."

"How did you sleep?"

"Better....yeah, great."

"Clay."

"I slept great."

"Clay. I heard you tossing and turning. A lot."

Clay bit his lip and pushed some of the cereal around with his spoon.

"C'mon, bro. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

"Yeah...I know. I just....I kept waking up." Clay looked up at Justin. "It wasn't bad dreams this time, I swear. I just couldn't get comfortable and, like, every time I turned over I woke up."

Justin sighed and gently ruffled Clay's hair. "Okay. I believe you. Relax today. Get better."

Clay nodded. "Have a good day at school. Don't fuck up my car."

"I won't, dumbass," Justin called over his shoulder as he walked to the front door.

 

**********

 

Clay really didn't have bad dreams, so he wasn't lying to Justin, and he really couldn't get comfortable. In fact, this was to be expected, as the doctor told him that trouble sleeping might be a side effect of the concussion.

_Sometimes I'm too sleepy, sometimes not sleepy at all. Wonderful. C'mon brain. Make up your goddamn mind.  
_

At first, it was nice to have the house to himself, and not have his mom or dad asking every five minutes, or so it felt like, how he was and if he was all right, or reminding him not to be on his phone too long, and, no, he can't watch "Captain America: Civil War" because of the action sequences and explosions, not until he was fully recovered. Well, that last one he was sort of okay with. Although, he reminded himself, he needed to start Justin's Marvel education and quite soon.

But, after half an hour of MSNBC. Then another half hour of an "I Love Lucy" rerun. And a half hour after that back to MSNBC....Clay was bored.

_Who knew I'd miss being in school._

This was probably the most calm and quiet he had been all year. Hannah. Jeff. Alex. The trial. Tyler. Justin. It was one thing after the other, with all too brief moments of normalcy interspersed between. It was, to say the least, unusual.

Sitting on the couch, Clay leaned his head back and closed his eyes, tuning out Hallie Jackson giving the latest news about Trump doing something or the other, and lost himself in his thoughts.

_Is this what normal feels like? Minus the concussion. Guess so. This is....fucking weird. Is this what it was like before Hannah? It'd be nice to sit here with Sheri and just be normal. Wonder if I'm really ready for trying the whole girlfriend thing again. Maybe. Bet Justin would say I was. 'Course he'd also just bring something up about my dick. I like having him here though. I wonder how Skye is doing. Should write to her this week. I wonder what the Gang is doing. Must be almost end of first period by now. Wonder if they'll see Monty...._

Clay opened his eyes.

_Monty._

He blinked a couple of times.

_Fucking asshole._

_Monty. All I can see is him now. And his fist. And....locker....my head hitting it...._

"Fuck!" Clay screamed and leaned forward. "Shit. Shit shit shit. Gahhh."

Clay stood up and walked around the room for a minute, restless now.

"I bet it would be okay if I watched 'The Hobbit,' that's not too bad. I can always close my eyes if it gets too bright or whatever. Yeah, I haven't watched that in a long time."

Clay stopped in the middle of the room.

"Annnnnnd now I'm talking to myself. Fuck this is going to be a long week."

 

**********

 

At 11:30 sharp, a knock on the front door signaled Tony's arrival.

"What's up, Clay? How're you feeling?" he asked as Clay opened the door and let him in.

"I'm okay. Bored off my ass. I dunno how I'm going to do this all week."

Tony walked to the kitchen. "I brought us lunch, just gotta warm it up."

"What....what is that?" Clay asked, looked at the two Tupperware containers.

"Pozole."

"What?"

"Pozole. It's basically chicken soup for the Mexican soul."

"Is it...supposed to look like that?"

"Are you  going to make fun of my mother's cooking?"

 

**********

 

"Monty got two weeks in-school suspension," Tony said, sitting down on the couch next to Clay after they had eaten. "So, we haven't seen too much of him today. I think Dempsey might have first thing this morning, but that was about it."

"How did anyone find out about what had happened? I don't remember there being any teachers around?"

"Turns out Goddard came out of his classroom after Justin got you out of there. I guess some of the other kids who saw what happened let him know and it went from there."

"Ah."

"Clay. The year's almost over. Starting next week, we gotta keep you two apart. Knowing that maniac he just might try something again, or God forbid at the Prom."

Clay groaned. He had forgotten all about the combined junior-senior Prom that was coming up. "I might just avoid that altogether. I don't seem to have the best luck when it comes to dances."

"Fair point. But since you never asked Sheri out on a real date, this might be your shot."

Clay looked over and made a face. "How did you..."

"I hear things. Look, don't worry about that right now. Cross that bridge when we get to it. Monty is the bigger issue. I think you should have that talk with your parents."

"You know about that, too? Oh, I forget, you're like Yoda. Know things you do."

"Something like that. Look, you're my best friend. It killed me to see you in that hospital like that...."

"I don't remember you being there?"

"You were asleep. Anyway....it took everything I had, plus a long talk with Caleb...who says hi by the way and is glad you're all right...not to go find Monty this weekend and do worse to him than what he did to you. I don't want to see you or me in a position like that again. Just talk to your parents, yeah?"

Clay nodded. "I'll think about it."

"Good." Tony looked over at the television screen. "Are you watching the movie with the short people again?"

"Shut up," Clay laughed.

"I better get back before they think I ditched the rest of the day."

Clay walked Tony to the door and hugged his friend. "Hey...thank your mom for the soup. That was actually the best thing I've eaten in three days."

"Yeah, Justin hinted something about that. Listen, you need me, you call me, okay? I'll check in with you later. Feel better, Clay."

"Thanks, Tony. Make sure Justin isn't fucking up my car."

 

**********

 

That night, Justin saw that Clay already had his hoodie on as they were getting ready to go to bed. He was going to say something, but thought better of it. Clay's mood had improved over the previous day, after all, and he didn't want to risk spoiling it. He just shook his head sadly.

"Need anything? You good?"

"Nope, I'm good. Night, bro."

"Night. If you need me, you..."

"I'll wake you up, I know."

 

**********

 

**Tuesday**

Clay yawned as he walked into the living room.

"You were tossing and turning again last night."

"Justin..."

"Clay."

"Justin....they said this would happen. I'll nap during the day."

Justin thought for a moment and grinned.

"Can I make a suggestion without you thinking it's stupid or whatever?"

"Depends on the suggestion," Clay replied warily.

"When was the last time you jerked off?"

Clay's eyes went wide. "Oh....my God."

"I'm serious, man. Dude, it's like a stress reliever or whatever. And if anyone needs to get rid of some stress right now, it's you. Just trust me on this. I bet you'll feel better."

After Justin left for school, Clay thought for a few minutes. And then a few minutes more. He then proceeded to make his way back upstairs and into his room. Opening his desk drawer, he found the bottle of lotion.

Twenty minutes later he came back downstairs.

_Justin being right about something is just....weird...._

 

**********

 

It's was Zach's turn that day, and he brought salads.

"I hear you're going to start working out with Justin."

"I said I'd _think_ about working out with Justin," Clay replied, feeling very much like a rabbit again, owing to the food in front of him.

"It really isn't a crazy suggestion. Hey, I can help. I'll turn you into a mini-me," Zach said grinning.

Clay rolled his eyes as they ate in silence, minus the crunching of vegetables.

"So. I never thanked you for taking me to the hospital," Clay said.

"Hey, no problem man. I'm glad we could get you there. You gave us a pretty good scare."

"Yeah."

"You know, I was thinking about it, that night. When we were all in the waiting room. You're kind of like...I don't know...the glue that holds us all together, you know? You basically all brought us together, the Gang."

"I guess."

"Nah, you are. I'd say we're all pretty lucky to have you, you know? Justin especially."

"Thanks, man."

"No thanks needed. Now. What are we gonna do about you and Sheri?"

"Oh my God, does _everyone_ know about this?"

"Kinda."

"Ughhh."

 

**********

 

"Where....where is it?"

"Where's what?" Justin asked, taking off his shirt.

"The...your hoodie."

"It's in the wash. Mom took it with the rest of the dirty clothes."

Clay's hands started to shake. It looked as if the WiFi was going out again.

"Clay?"

He broke out into a sweat. His heart started to race.

"Clay?"

He closed his eyes, tightly, bringing his shaking hands up to them to rub.

"Clay, what's wrong?"

Justin came over and put his hand on Clay's shoulder.

"NO! Don't hit me, please, not again!!"

Justin jumped back. "Clay...Clay it's me. It's Justin."

Clay turned around "J-Justin...?"

"Yeah...it's me. Clay...."

Clay looked pale and his eyes started to tear up.

"I....I'm....I don't know....I....I thought I was...."

Justin nodded. "You're at home, Clay. In our room. You're safe."

Clay caught his breath. "I...don't....don't tell mom and dad...."

"Clay..."

"PLEASE Justin....please....it's just....it's just from the concussion. It'll get better."

Justin took a deep breath. "Clay," he said softly, "are you sure that's all it is?"

Clay nodded.

Justin shook his head sadly. "I hate seeing you like this."

"I....your hoodie. When I was wearing it....it was like....you were there, you know? Like...you're protecting me...."

Justin leaned in and hugged Clay.

"It's stupid, I know...."

"No. No, it's not, Clay. But listen...okay? I'm here. I'll _always_ protect you. I promise."

"My head hurts again," Clay whimpered.

"Did you take your pills?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Okay. You've got to give them a chance to work. You'll feel better soon."

"O..okay."

Justin thought for a moment and as he pulled out of the hug, picked up Clay's phone. "Unlock it."

Clay had a questioning look on his face, but put his thumb on the pad, doing so.

"I won't look through your shit or anything. Unless you have naked pics of Sheri," Justin winked.

"S-shut up," Clay laughed.

"Okay. Here. Get your headphones and put them in."

"Why?"

"You'll see. Now, get in bed. Take some deep breaths, and try to relax. I'm right across from you if you need me."

What Justin had found was an especially long video on YouTube of a gentle night rain. It had to do with something called 'ASMR' that Jess told him about a long time ago, and it had helped him at night those times his mother and Meth Seth got into one of their violent arguments. He guessed Clay might like it also.

He guessed correctly, as Clay lay back on the pillow and took those deep breaths Justin had told him to take. As the sound of raindrops echoed in his head quietly, within a few minutes, his mouth opened slightly, and he was fast asleep.

Satisfied, Justin went to the couch.

"Sweet dreams, Clay," he whispered.

 

_To be continued...._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is part one of a two part chapter, detailing Clay's week at home! This was running a little long, so I thought it best to break it up. I'll have a lot more to talk about in part two!
> 
> In case anyone would like to listen to what Justin brought up on YouTube for Clay to fall asleep to, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q76bMs-NwRk
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and for the kudos, and I look forward to your comments and suggestions below. Stay tuned, Clay and Justin (and Alex...and Ryan....and Scott...and Jess) will return in part two of this chapter, coming soon!


	9. Seven Wonders - Part Two: Wednesday Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Justin gets Clay to open up some.

 

**Wednesday**

 

"......I mean, I woke up a few times, but yeah, for sure, that really helped last night."

Justin finished up the last of his morning coffee and put the mug in the sink. "I'm glad it did. Listen, I won't be home right away after school today, I've got my meeting."

"Yeah, no problem."

"I'm gonna talk to mom and dad when I get back though, and maybe we can get you out of the house for a little while tonight. Hit the comic shop or just drive around."

Clay perked up at hearing this news. Since Saturday, he had been cooped up inside, except for a brief moment out on the front porch with Sheri.

"Really?" he smiled. Widely.

"Yeah, I think it'll be okay. Probably can't get into anything too involved because of curfew and all that, but maybe we can for like, I dunno, an hour or something."

"That...that would be so great. I'm going stir crazy in here."

"Figured you were." Justin slung his backpack over his shoulder. "Ryan's coming by with lunch today, just take it easy until then, yeah?"

"Okay, yeah." Clay's mood was now much improved. "Hey...you know what?"

"What's that?"

"You were right about something else helping yesterday, too," Clay said with a smirk.

"Told ya!" Justin grinned. "I'll see you this evening, bro."

 

**********

 

Ryan arrived promptly and had brought with him, thankfully, sandwiches, the second best thing Clay had eaten in several days.

"How's school?" Clay asked through a mouthful of food.

"Clay, you've been around your pseudo-brother too long already. Don't talk with your mouth full, please. School is school. This year, thankfully, is coming to its natural conclusion. But, let's talk about you for a minute."

"I'm...feeling better, if that's what you're asking."

"No, honey," Ryan smirked. "Well, that's good, don't get me wrong. But, I'm talking about you and the lovely Miss Sheri."

"Jesus, Ryan," Clay groaned.

"Listen. It's not like this was any great state secret. We've all seen the way you are around her. You get all a-twitter and more flustered and adorably awkward around her than usual. You know the Prom is coming up?"

"Tony reminded me, yeah."

"Well then, there you are. Ask her to the Prom."

"I....I don't know, Ry."

"Clay, you deserve some happiness. You know that, don't you?"

"I mean...I guess," Clay shrugged.

Ryan sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. "Clay Jensen, you are going to ask this young lady out, and ask her out properly. Become the charming prince for one evening and sweep her off of her feet and go live happily ever after. Make babies...just make sure at least one is a gayby so that gay uncle Ryan and lesbian auntie Courtney can dote on him or her or them and teach our ways _."_

Clay sighed and shook his head with a smile. "Got it all figured out for us already, huh? Can we have the picket fence and the dog, too?"

"It had better be something tiny and cute. Now, come on. Finish up eating. I'm ditching the rest of the day and we have work to do."

"Work to do. We do?"

Ryan nodded. "You, young Clay, are going to be introduced to 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.' Maybe you'll get some tips for your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"Oh, Clay."

 

**********

**Liberty High School**

 

"Tony. Tony! Wait up, man!"

It was nearing the end of one of the lunch periods at school, and as students were milling about or heading to lockers, Justin flagged down and caught up to Tony in the hallway

"What's up, Justin?"

Justin adjusted his backpack as they walked down the hall together. "I have a question."

"So I gathered, or you wouldn't have stopped me."

"A Clay question."

"Oh, here we go..."

"What's that supposed to mean," Justin frowned.

Tony stopped and turned to face Justin. "I knew that sooner or later you'd want some kind of something or the other about Clay. What, I just have all the answers or something?"

"I mean...you're like, his best friend and all, so I just thought..."

"Dude, I'm messing with you. What's wrong?"

"Clay's....he's been...having trouble sleeping."

"Didn't the doctor say that might happen?"

"Yeah, but I don't think that's all it is, man. It's...I think something is like, really wrong. He slept wearing one of my hoodies for a few nights because he said he felt safer, and he had a really bad nightmare Saturday night that Monty was after him again."

"Shit."

"So...like, you know him best, and you have brothers. I'm still kinda new to all this and I'm just wondering what I should be doing, like, different. I said I'd take him to the comic shop after my NA meeting this afternoon."

"That's a good start," Tony nodded. "Look, Justin. One thing I learned about Clay with the tapes is that you've got to give him a little prodding, but not too much. It's like a fine balance. Push too hard and he'll try to push you away. Don't push enough and he'll never open up. He's a great guy, but he needs some hand holding sometimes...and I don't mean that in a bad way. It helped him understand things more when I finally opened up about my relationship with Hannah and why I was making sure he listened to the tapes."

"All of us, really."

"True. So what I'm getting at is, maybe you can find some way to relate to what's he's going through and talk about it. See what that does."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to relate to..."

"Justin, you can't tell me that everything was peachy with your mom and her boyfriend, was it?"

Justin looked down at his shoes and nodded his head negatively.

"Okay then. Look, I'm not trying to prod or anything like that, but I know you must have gone through some serious shit. More than you should have. You didn't deserve that anymore than Clay deserved to get his head knocked around. If you're looking to find a way to relate to him and get him to open up, that might be a way to do it. And listen, I'm not trying to make you feel like shit about anything that happened to you, okay? It was fucked up. But think about everything Clay went through this last year. Don't you think you two have more in common than you realize?"

Justin thought for a moment and nodded. "Any advice on being a good brother?"

"You looking out for him?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Give him shit sometimes?"

"Yeah," Justin laughed.

"Would you take a bullet for him?"

Justin's face became serious. "Yeah....yeah, I would." he replied quietly.

"Then as far as I can tell, you're being a good brother. Just try to stay out of trouble....impossible for the two of you, I know, but all the same, try."

"Okay. Hey, thanks man. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime. Oh, one last thing," Tony continued as they started to walk down the hall again.

"What?"

"Help him with girls in the non-platonic sense. Please."

"Might as well try to get me to explain like, nuclear physics to him," Justin muttered.

 

**********

  **6:12pm**

After some near-pleading, and a promise not to stay out too late, Justin had finally convinced their parents to give Clay a taste of freedom for the first time since the previous week. And, since that previous week, Clay actually had a genuine smile on his face, a bounce to his step, and was talking nearly a mile a minute on the way to and from the comic shop. Nothing like picking up the latest issues of 'Killer Alien Robots,' 'Justice League,' and 'Avengers' to perk a guy up. The only thing lacking was being able to drive his car, but until he was cleared by his physician that was still off limits. Still, he really didn't mind. He was out of the house, getting some fresh air, and there were comic books to be had.

".....so, like, these guys give design tips and help people learn how to cook food and dress better and like, take care of their skin and stuff. It seemed kinda silly at first, but I really got into it, and oh my God, some of the episodes make you almost wanna cry. But, like, happy cry, you know what I mean? Oh! And then we watched RuPaul's Drag Race! Man, some of those guys look really good as..."

"Clay! Clay, slow down man," Justin laughed. "This explains why you have that shit in your hair, huh?"

"Well, Ryan suggested it. What do you think?"

"Looks good, bro, sure," Justin glanced over and smiled at Clay. "Hey, we still have a little time. You wanna go to Rosie's, get a milkshake? My treat."

Clay got quiet for a minute. "I...you know I haven't been there since..."

_Shit. Shit fuck shit. Okay Justin...shift gears..._

"Well, we can go somewhere else....Monet's? They've got, like, those weird milkshake things that aren't really milkshakes. Or like an iced coffee or whatever. Still my treat. Whaddya say? Hang out with your bro outside the house for a little while longer?"

"Yeah...yeah, that sounds good. Sure."

"Cool."

They drove in silence for a few minutes. Then...

"Did you know one of the guys...uh, girls, on RuPaul is named Alaska?"

Justin rolled his eyes and hit the turn signal.

 

**6:34pm**

"Don't drink that too fast or you'll get brain freeze. And after everything, that's probably the last thing you want right now," Justin laughed as Clay slurped at his drink quickly.

"Mmm," Clay said with a mouth full of frozen coffee beverage. "Good point. Yeah, I'm just so fucking happy to be out of the house right now."

"I bet." Justin looked down at his drink. "So."

Clay looked up at Justin. "Sooo....what?"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Umm. Well. How was your meeting today?"

"It was good," Justin said as he leaned back in his seat. "It was a speaker meeting today, so I didn't share anything in group."

Clay nodded. "Cool. That's really great Justin. Like I told you, I'm really proud of you."

_This might be my opening..._

"Thanks, Clay. So...we'll have a discussion meeting next time. That's where we sit in a circle and share stuff. You know, like you see on tv or in the movies?"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. And....I kinda wanna...like, I dunno. Practice, or whatever."

"Practice? Haven't you ever shared in group before?"

"Oh yeah, I have." Justin took a breath.

_Here goes nothing..._

"But...like....I wanna talk about...what happened with Seth."

"Oh," Clay said quietly. "Wow. And you've never...opened up about that before?"

Justin took a drink and gathered his thoughts. "No," he replied, just as quietly as Clay had. "It's....I don't like to think about it, much less talk about it."

Clay nodded.

"He...Seth...there was this one time..." Justin swallowed. "Man...this is harder than I thought."

_Tony...you better be right about this..._

Clay leaned forward. "Hey...you can tell me anything too, you know. This brother thing isn't a one way street."

Justin nodded. "Seth...tried to strangle me. We...we had a fight cause the subpoena came to the apartment. He..." Justin stopped and shut his eyes tight. "Fuck."

"Hey," Clay reached out and put his hand on Justin's arm. "Hey, it's okay."

"He slammed me up against the wall and started choking me. I thought...I thought I was gonna die, Clay. I seriously, honestly, thought, this is it, this fucker is going to kill me."

Justin pulled his arm out of Clay's grasp and wiped his eyes. Clearing his throat, he continued.

"That's....that's the night I ran away. I couldn't take it anymore."

Clay nodded again, sadly. "And we both know the rest."

"Yeah. You came and got me. You saved me."

Justin took a deep breath and exhaled. "Wow."

"Yeah."

"I never...I never....all you knew is that I stole some money from him. Now you know the rest."

"I'm...I don't know what to say."

Justin shrugged. "It's okay. It...felt good to get that out."

Clay nodded and got lost in his thoughts as he twirled the straw in his drink.

_C'mon Clay. C'mon dumbass....talk to me._

_Please._

"I keep seeing Monty," Clay finally said. "Not like how I saw Hannah. But...like, in my head."

_Tony...you're a fucking genius..._

"Yeah?"

Clay nodded but didn't look up. "Yeah. It's....like...not as bad during the day, but at night. I...get scared at night. I close my eyes, and all I can see is him and his fist and he's..."

Clay's lower lip began to quiver and his hands started to shake.

Now it was Justin's turn to reach out and take Clay's arm in his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"That....that's what the bad dream was all about. Saturday night. He was coming after me again, and there wasn't anyone else around." Clay brought up his free arm and used the sleeve of his hoodie jacket to wipe the tears away that were forming. "I...I know it'll like, stop. Eventually. But...Justin. I really don't know how much more I can take. Like I told mom and dad, it's been one goddamn thing after another this year."

"I know man. I know." Justin paused and chose his next words carefully. "Have you...like, thought about...talking to someone?"

"Therapy?" Clay leaned back again and gave a little laugh. "Been there, done that."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"Couple years ago. Remember when you all thought I was gay?"

"Yeah, that went around....oh, wait. Did...did that do it?"

Clay shrugged and took one of the napkins used as a coaster for their drinks to wipe his eyes again. "I mean...there was more going on at the time, but yeah, that seemed to be the catalyst."

"Did it help?"

"Honestly," Clay sighed, "I think it's all kind of stupid, really. Talk about your feelings, tell me how did you feel when they said that. Well, shit, you all thought I was gay and I'm not, how did you think it was going to make me feel. I got past it."

"Man...Clay. Shit, I'm sorry...I kinda helped...you know...spread some of that," Justin said, chagrined.

"It's okay. Not your fault. Well, not _entirely_. Shithead." Clay smirked at Justin, who smiled back in relief. "But...it probably helps explain why I'm such a fuck up when it comes to the fairer sex. My self-confidence is kinda...not good when it comes to that."

"Well, in your defense, stuff was out of your control here lately."

"I guess."

Justin thought again and grinned. "Ya know, if they knew how hung you were..."

"Oh my God, Justin. No. Just...no. Let's leave my dick out of it."

"Isn't that kinda the problem?"

There was silence between the two for a moment until Justin's pun hit them both at the same time, and they burst out laughing.

"Man," Clay giggled, "I needed that."

"It's really good to see you laugh like that, Clay. You know, I'd still love ya all the same if you were gay."

"Justin. I'm not gay."

"No, I know. I'm just saying is all. But weren't you the one going on about these guys and drag queens?"

"Hey now. I just opened myself up to a broader spectrum of society is all."

Justin looked at him and tilted his head.

Clay laughed. "I humored Ryan. At first. But I got into it, and the shows were really good. But, I'm not gay, Justin. I promise. I'll show you my porn collection if you need proof."

Justin's eyes went wide. "Dude," he said with a grin.

"Shut up, I'm not really showing you my porn."

They laughed together again and sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

"We should be getting back before mom sends out an all points bulletin," Clay said a little sadly.

"Yeah," Justin agreed. "You're right."

They got up from their chairs and made their way to the door.

"Thanks for this. I really needed it. And...it was nice to like...talk."

Justin held the door as Clay walked outside. "Anytime, bro. Way I see it, we have a lot of catching up to do, and I wanna spend time with my brother. But, Clay...look," Justin continued as they walked down the sidewalk to the car. "You know you can always tell me anything, yeah? And if this gets worse..."

"Hey man....I'll be okay. Really. I promise."

"Okay. But for real, Clay. Do me a favor?"

"What?"

"If it starts to get worse....or it doesn't go away. Promise me you'll tell me, and that you'll think about maybe talking to someone."

"Justin..."

"Clay, please? I'm worried about you man. I hate seeing you like this."

Clay thought for a moment as they approached the Prius.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Okay. Fine."

 

**********

 

**11:28pm**

Clay yawned and stretched as he sat on his bed. "You about ready?" he asked Justin.

"Almost, I gotta finish reading this for English class. Just a few more minutes."

Clay thought for a minute.

"Well...come over here and finish."

Justin looked over from the couch. "You okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, fine. Just come here until you're done."

Justin had been laying on his stomach and reading. He got up and walked over to sit on Clay's bed, back against the wall.

Clay sat next to him and put his headphones in. As the gentle sound of rain filled his ears, he gradually let his head fall on Justin's shoulder. When that happened, Justin looked up from his textbook and smiled, and put his own head on top of Clay's, his cheek resting against Clay's hair, and closed his eyes for a few moments before he continued reading.

 

_To be continued...._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi!  
> Bet you thought this was the conclusion of 'Seven Wonders' now didn't you?  
> Well....so did Ye Writer. At first. Until I decided to take some of your feedback and comments and incorporate them here, and make Wednesday an entire part of this chapter all its own. So, welcome to Chapter Nine of 'Maze!'  
> Now lest you think Clay is suddenly going to go seek out some help after one conversation with his brother...oh, we have a ways to go and lots of stuff that needs to happen first. Hang tight my friends, all shall be revealed!  
> I admit, I did toy with the idea of Clay struggling with his sexuality some....but unless that's a path the show takes in the upcoming season, I chose to stay true to his adorably awkward character, and incorporate some of the teasing and all into that facet of his personality. As for liking Queer Eye and RuPaul...I believe Clay would like those shows, wouldn't you?  
> As always, thank you for reading and your kudos. I appreciate your comments and feedback! Stay tuned, as the 'Seven Wonder's will conclude in Chapter Ten, coming soon! Clay and Justin shall return!
> 
> p.s. Bonus points to anyone who can correctly guess why I deliberately chose Alaska as the drag queen Clay mentions!


	10. Seven Wonders - Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay's week at home concludes, but his struggles do not.

 

**Thursday**

"You woke up a lot last night. I heard you get up and walk around once....why didn't you say something? Clay, we just talked about this, man."

Their parents had already, as was the pattern this week, left for work, leaving the two brothers to once more spend a few moments together before Justin had to leave for school. Clay had come downstairs and sat down heavily in a chair at the kitchen table, looking tired and distant, lost in his head. He had slept. Some. But it came in fits and starts, and whether that was a symptom of his concussion or his fear of Monty and what had happened to him, he no longer knew for certain. All he did know was that he was about exhausted, both from the lack of sleep and from Justin's constant pestering about his sleeping. Or, the lack thereof.

"Dude, really, you could've come and got me..."

"Justin."

"....I would've sat with ya again until you fell back asleep..."

"Justin!"

"...maybe, like, I dunno, found something else for you to listen to, that one video helped..."

"JUSTIN! Shut up, okay! Jesus, just shut the fuck up! God!"

Justin did a double take as Clay screamed at him, something that hadn't happened in quite a long time. Not since the Sunday he had confessed to still using heroin.

"Clay?"

Clay took a deep breath and brought his hands up to his lower face, rubbing them across and down his mouth.

"Clay?" Justin asked again. Quieter, this time.

_Where did that come from?_ Clay thought to himself.

"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled like that..."

"Are you okay man...?"

Clay closed his eyes and nodded. "Y-yeah....yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired." He looked over at Justin, whose pained expression now matched his own. "I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

Justin pulled a chair out and dropped his backpack to the floor as he sat down. "Clay..."

"You're gonna be late for school..."

"Fuck that, I'll skip and stay home with you. Look....I think...you need to tell the doctor what's going on when mom takes you tomorrow. Let him know you can't sleep, tell him about..."

Clay's head spun to face Justin. "Tell him what, Justin? That I'm seeing the guy who bashed the shit out of my head and did this to me? 'Oh, that's normal, son, it'll go away soon, once you get better.' What's he going to do, tell me I can't fix it? Hey, guess what, I know I can't fix it, just like I couldn't fix..."

Clay stopped. He bit his lower lip and looked down at the table.

"Clay?"

"I'm just tired, Justin," he replied quietly. "I just really want to sleep. Like, all night."

"Bro..."

"You should go to school." Clay looked up and smiled sadly. "Really...I don't want you to be late because of me. Don't fuck up my car, okay?"

"Clay...let's talk to mom and dad. Yeah?"

"Justin...no, I...I just can't sleep, that's all. Look. I won't take a nap today and I bet that'll make sure I'm so tired I'll fall right asleep tonight, and that'll make me feel better."

Justin shook his head sadly. "Clay...come on, you promised me."

"Justin...really. I just need some good sleep, that's all."

Justin sighed and stood up. "Okay, if that's what you think."

Clay nodded. "I do. Hey....I'm...I'm really sorry for yelling at you, I know you're just trying to help. Please don't be mad at me."

Justin came over and brought Clay over for a hug. Clay wrapped his arms around Justin's waist and rested his head against his stomach. "I'm not mad at you man, I swear. Okay?"

Clay nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too, bro. You sure you don't want me to stay home with you today?"

Clay shook his head as he pulled back. "You can't...it'll mess up your probation. Besides, Alex and Jess will be here for lunch. I'll be okay until then."

"Okay. How 'bout I text you in between class?"

"Yeah...yeah, that sounds good. Have a good day today. Really...don't fuck up my car."

"I won't," Justin smiled.

 

**********

 

For the next few hours, Clay kept himself busy, figuring, correctly as it turned out, that as long as he found things to do, it would take his mind off of his blow up earlier that morning, and Monty, and how tired he was. Coffee helped with that last one, and while his mother would probably flip shit if she found out that Clay had made a pot in his current condition, it was worth the risk. The hot, bitter liquid tasted _good_ and it was nice to do something relatively normal. Like, finishing up the dishes, drying them and putting them away. Taking out the garbage ( _fresh air, yes please_ ), making his bed and tidying up Justin's side of the room ( _dude...I love you but, Jesus Christ...you're a slob..._ ).

He then took a long hot shower, and only got a little dizzy once ( _progress!_ ) getting in and out. As the steam escaped the bathroom, he wrapped a towel around his waist and picked up his phone from the sink, opening up Spotify. As "Basically" by Tei Shi began to play, he grabbed another towel and dried his hair. Once accomplished, and bobbing his head along to the beat, he looked at himself in the mirror.

"Maybe I should work out with Justin," he said to himself.

Feeling a little embarrassed and more than a bit silly, he flexed in the mirror a couple times. And frowned.

"Hmmph. Well. Still bigger biceps than Alex."

Clay then picked up the styling gel Ryan had brought with him yesterday and looked at it. Shrugging, he put it back down. "Nah. Not today."

He was feeling better. Not good, but better. He was still tired, yes, but the coffee and the shower had perked him up, and he hadn't gotten a headache since the night before last. True, what had happened this morning was upsetting, and he really did feel bad about yelling at Justin, but he chalked it up to the lack of sleep, nothing more. _I'll make it up to him later_.

As he finished getting dressed, he looked at himself again in the mirror. Except, his reflection wasn't looking back.

"JESUS FUCK!"

Monty was staring at him.

Clay staggered back, hitting the wall behind him. Panting heavily, he squeezed his eyes closed for a minute...then opened them back up, and saw his reflection.

"Couldn't Tell," by Dermont Kennedy was now playing on his phone.

 

**********

 

Back at the kitchen table, his schoolwork spread out in front of him, Clay next busied himself on getting caught up with what he was missing that week. While what had happened in the bathroom startled him, he again chalked it up to being overtired, nothing more. As he conjugated a few more French verbs, his phone buzzed.

**Shithead:** _yo_

**Dumbass:** _heya bro_

**Shithead:** _how r you feeling?_

**Dumbass:** _good....better...working on homework...parlez-vous français grand frère?_

**Shithead:** _wtf??_

**Dumbass:** _LOL nvm....hey sorry again about this morning man...I didn't mean it, really_

**Shithead:** _Clay its fine I just wanna make sure your okay_

**Dumbass:** _*you're and yeah I am...promise. and I'm invoking Bro Code_

**Shithead:** _.....what?_

**Dumbass:** _Bro Code. The Code between Brothers. That means we keep each other's secrets. You can't tell mom and dad. Okay?_

**Shithead:** _Clay..._

**Dumbass:** _I'm serious man. I'll be fine I just need a really good nights sleep. I'm actually feeling a lot better. Promise. Okay?_

**Shithead:** _yeah...ok....listen gotta run...check in with ya later. love you bro_

**Dumbass:** _I love you too. Go learn something!!_

Clay put the phone back down and smiled.

_Routine. That's all I need. Back in a routine._

More French awaited him.

 

**********

 

"Okay, like...I don't think I have ever loved anyone like I love the two of you right now."

Jess and Alex had arrived, bearing gifts. Specifically, two take out pizzas, a bag of Tootsie Rolls, a bag of Sour Patch Kids, and several bottles of assorted sodas.

"Well, we knew you were being subjected to some rather odd foods, and while I could have let you suffer the way my mom does to me, I figured, be nice to a fellow invalid," Alex said as he leaned on his cane.

Jess smiled. "I think he went a little overboard if you ask me."

"Not. At. All." Clay was practically drooling. "Let's eat!"

Which they did. Clay had to be reminded more than once by Jess to slow down, that it wasn't going anywhere, and she and Alex couldn't help but laugh every time Clay took a bite of pizza and uttered a little happy moan. "That bad, Clay?"

"You have no idea," Clay said, chewing on one side of his mouth. "Last night it was pomegranate and almond tabbouleh."

"Yeah, okay, that bad. How're you doing? We miss you at school."

Clay shrugged. "I mean...it's...better today. I'm having some trouble sleeping though."

Alex put down his bottle of Sprite after taking a drink. "Yeah, that's a thing."

Clay swallowed and thought for a moment.

_Alex. Why didn't I think of this before?_

"So...like...when does it stop?"

"It doesn't."

Clay suddenly looked crestfallen.

"I mean, yeah, you'll be able to sleep. But there's probably going to be more than a few nights where you'll have some trouble with it."

Clay sighed and took another bite of pizza. "What do you do to help?"

"Listen to music. Stare at the ceiling. Think about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Just....stuff," Alex said, glancing his eyes towards Jess and then back to Clay. "Look, your injury isn't close to what I...did. So, I'm sure it'll get better soon."

"Clay," Jess interjected. "how are you and Justin getting on? Is the adoption official yet? I don't think we've ever had a chance to talk about it without him around."

"Well," Clay wiped his mouth with a napkin, "it's still a process, the adoption thing. There's a bunch of legal work my mom is working on and I think it'll all be taken care of by the summer. It's being expedited because of his circumstances with his mother and all that. As for how we're getting along? Honestly...good. Like, really, really good. At first it was a big adjustment, and he was sort of a pain in the ass. But once he got settled in and we got comfortable around one another, it got so much better."

"That's awesome. You know, he's talked about you all week."

"He...has?" Clay said hesitantly.

"Yeah, like all your little quirks and how you help him with his homework, stuff like that. I think seeing you get hurt kinda shook him up, you know? Made him realize how lucky he is."

"I think the term you're looking for is called 'bromance,'" Alex added, causing all three to laugh.

"Yeah. I'm glad he's here," Clay smiled.

"That's great to hear, Clay. You really lucked out," Alex said with a tinge of sadness in his voice. He and his own brother, Peter, while not exactly estranged, were no longer as close as they had once been, much to Alex's regret. "So did Justin."

Jess caught onto the mood that had now fallen, and decided it was time to lighten it up.

"So, let's talk about Prom."

Two sets of eyes now turned to Clay.

In return, Clay's eyes darted back and forth between his two friends, and he chose to pick up another piece of pizza and start to stuff his mouth.

 

**********

 

Clay held his stomach as he came into their bedroom.

"Man....I really shouldn't have eaten all that for lunch today. And then mom's choice of healthy," he made finger quotes before returning his hands back to his stomach again, "pasta, isn't helping."

Justin looked up from his laptop and laughed. "You gonna puke?"

"Ugh, I hope not. I had one of those ginger ales, so maybe that'll help." Clay sat on his bed and looked across the room at Justin. "Need any help with that?"

Justin shook his head. "Nah, I'm good. This isn't due till Monday, so I've got a little time on it still. Maybe you can look at it over the weekend or something."

"Cool."

Justin tapped out a few more sentences when he noticed Clay had come over and sat next to him on the couch. "Dude, if you're gonna throw up on me..."

"No, I'm not," Clay laughed. "I just wanted to talk for a bit is all."

"Oh. Yeah, sure." Justin saved his work and closed the computer. "What's up?"

"Okay. So....a, I really did feel better today, and I really am sorry about this morning."

"Clay, I told ya man, it's fine."

"Yeah, well...I still feel bad, because, b, Jess and Alex mentioned you had been talking about me a lot at school. Like, little stuff and all."

Justin shrugged. "Yeah, I mean...I guess I was. Why?"

"Well," Clay inhaled, "it's like I told you the other day. Growing up pretty much by myself was hard sometimes, especially with mom and dad working a lot. So....I guess I just wanted to say...thanks. For everything this week. I know you're trying to help, and you're worried and all, and I just wanted to let you know that...I appreciate it."

"Of course man. Now, no lie, I still think we should talk to mom and dad."

"Bro Code."

"Okay, fine, whatever," Justin shook his head. "But you still promised me. If this gets any worse, if you still can't sleep because you're seeing..."

"I....I know."

"Okay then."

Justin gave Clay a quick hug and ruffled his hair. "No shit in it today?"

"No, not today. I dunno, maybe it's not for me. Hey, I'm gonna go to bed. It okay if I turn off some of the lights?"

"Yeah, sure. Um. Do you...want my hoodie?"

Clay was on his way back towards his bed when Justin asked that, and stopped in mid-stride.

_Yes.  
_

_No._

_Yes?_

_I don't know..._

"Clay?"

_You know what? Fuck you, Monty. Do your worst. I've faced down worse than you this year. Fuck you. And tonight I've got backup again.  
_

"Is...is it okay? Like, maybe one last time? I was right, not napping all day has made me pretty tired on top of tired. I'm gonna listen to the rain again, though, and...."

"It's cool, go ahead."

Clay grabbed the hoodie from the laundry basket and put it on, then put in his headphones, got under the covers and closed his eyes.

Monty sneered at him.

_Do your worst, asshole._

"Night, bro. If you need me..."

"...you're over there, I know. Night, man. Love you."

 

**********

**Friday**

 

Clay _had_ slept better. Not great, no, but better. Monty was still showing up in his head, and when that happened, he would wake up with a start, take some deep breaths, and willed himself to relax. The process repeated itself three times in total overnight, and each time he took a little bit longer falling back asleep, but he determined that he was not going to let Monty have the satisfaction.

"Last day of freedom, man," Justin had said that morning.

"Yeah, I know. I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I'm actually looking forward to going back to school. That's....weird, right?"

"Little bit, yeah. What time do you go to the doctor?"

"Two-thirty. Scott is coming by, then mom is taking off early so we can go."

"Cool," Justin nodded. "So?"

"Soooo...what?"

"Sleep?"

"Better. Yeah, still not the best, but definitely better than the night before. For sure."

"Okay. Well...guess that's better than nothing. All right, I gotta get going, but I'll see you later on, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Clay walked Justin to the door. "So maybe we could have some of the Gang over tonight or something? Maybe go hang out with them or whatever."

"Yeah, maybe. We'll ask mom and dad, and I'll get some word circulating today. I'll definitely make sure to tell Sheri," Justin grinned.

Clay just shook his head. "Go. Learn something. And don't..."

"...fuck up your car. Yes, I know. Geez, you're still so uptight. Go jerk off again before Scott gets here." Justin winked.

As Clay closed the door after Justin, he stopped and thought for a moment. Then, went upstairs.

_Hey, it worked the other day...._

 

**********

 

In the "Deranged Over-Protective Version of the Scooby Gang," there were a few that Clay didn't know quite as well. It's not that he didn't get along with them or dislike them, it was that he hadn't spent as much time with them. There was Zach, of course, who had gravitated more towards Alex and had been friends with Justin already, but Clay was slowly opening up to him more, and saw that he was a genuinely good guy. Courtney was still somewhat reserved, but was gradually coming around. Cyrus could be kind of cynical, but he had become an ally in the whole situation with Bryce and the jocks, and had an appreciation for some of the more nerdy things Clay enjoyed, so they could always geek out together about sci fi or Harry Potter or the like.

And then there was Scott.

Scott turned out to be a major, and pleasant, surprise, as he was a jock with a conscience - much like Zach - and was considerate of others. He had also played a major role in bringing down Bryce, and the Polaroids, and while he didn't hang out with the Gang nearly as much, he was a sort of adjunct member who could be counted on when needed, or who would gladly show up when invited to hang out. So, it came as no surprise to Clay that Scott volunteered of his own accord to spend this last day at home with him during the lunch period.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, man. I'm sorry I couldn't get to see you sooner."

"Not a problem, I'm glad you could come by. How's things?"

Scott opened up a bag and pulled out a couple of sandwiches. "Not bad. Kind of odd without baseball, but I guess that means I can really focus on classes and prep for finals and all that."

"Yeah...I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. I mean, it sucks I can't play, but still. I'd rather not have the team than be in the same category as those idiots."

After lunch was finished, Scott helped clean up, understanding that he couldn't stay quite as long owing to the fact that Lainie would be home soon to take Clay for his follow-up.

"Listen. Word is, Monty is pretty pissed about the in-school suspension, to say nothing of everything else that's already gone down. Next week shouldn't be too much of a worry for you since he'll have limited contact, but all the same, keep your head down and stick with us. I'll do what I can to run interference if I have to."

Clay nodded. "Yeah...yeah, okay."

"It'll be fine, man. Less than a month of school."

"Thank God. This year can't end soon enough."

"I agree. Oh, and hey....about Prom..."

Clay stopped as they were walking to the front door. "You too??"

 

**********

"Okay....follow my finger, don't move your head.....good, now follow it this way....okay, great." Dr. Doug Ross turned and made some notes on Clay's chart. "Any dizziness?"

"A little here and there. Not as bad as right after it happened."

Dr. Ross nodded. "Headaches?"

"Haven't had one since Tuesday night."

"Good....trouble sleeping?"

Clay looked down at his hands as he sat on the examination table. "Yeah...a little."

Another head nod, and Dr. Ross crossed his arms as he sat back down on the stool in front of Clay. "Well...that happens after a concussion. I don't think there's anything to worry about right now, but if it continues for let's say, another month or so, we can look into giving you something to help. For right now, I'm going to give your mom some literature that has some tips to help you fall asleep, and I'm going to recommend you take Melatonine. See how that does, and we can revisit it in about a month or so."

_A month of fighting off Monty....great..._

"Mrs. Jensen," he now turned to Lainie, who was seated on the far side of the examination room, "I think Clay here is ready to go back to school. Sorry, kid, honeymoon's over. Keep using the Tylenol as needed, and he should be fine to start driving again on Monday. Keep it limited, only during the day for a few days, and not alone at first. Not until he can go seven days without getting dizzy once. He's a little underweight, but that's not unusual after something like this."

"Does this mean I can eat, like, normal stuff?" Clay asked.

"Eat away, Clay. Not all junk, though."

"Okay. Oh...my brother...adopted brother...wants me to start working out with him of all things..."

"Nothing wrong with that. Keep it simple at first, light weights, running is fine. Don't over exert yourself right off the bat."

"I was kinda hoping you'd say not to do it at all," Clay muttered as he put his shirt back on, causing his mother and Dr. Ross to laugh.

"You're a good kid, Clay. Stay out of trouble. Mrs. Jensen, he's good to go."

"Thank you, Doug. Ready, honey?"

"Yep," Clay said as he hopped off the table and shook the doctors hand. "Thanks, doc."

"Take care of yourself, kid."

As Clay and Lainie left the examination room, Dr. Ross finished up his notes. "Wonder what Carol is making for dinner," he said to himself.

 

**********

 

"Now that wasn't so bad at all, was it?" Lainie asked as they walked through the parking lot.

"No. I kinda figured I'd be cleared to go back anyway."

"I got a text from Justin while you were being checked out. What do you say we grill out tonight to celebrate your recovery? I'll even forego my plan for a turkey burger for you and just go with real ones. Maybe invite some of your friends over?"

"Really?" Clay's face lit up.

"Why not. They've been a big help to you this week, we should thank them."

"Mom, that is so awesome," Clay stopped and hugged his mother. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, honey. Oh...make sure to invite Sheri," she winked.

"Mommmm....."

As they got to the car, Clay reflected back on the past five days, and everyone who had been a part of it. Tony, his best friend and all-around mentor; Zach, who was becoming a good friend, and really showed appreciation of Clay; Ryan, who made Clay think about his own happiness and need for well-being; Alex and Jess, who always knew what to say; Scott, who may not always be there, but who Clay knew would have his back.

And Justin. His protector and big brother.

Clay smiled to himself and there was that spring in his step again. It had been a long week, and the circumstances that led to it were less than ideal. But all things considered...he was one lucky guy.

As they got to the car, Clay looked at his reflection in the window of the passenger side before getting in.

And saw Monty looking back at him.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Okay. Let me catch my breath here.
> 
> That's better. 
> 
> Welcome to Chapter Ten! So, Clay's week has come to an end. Did you figure out what - or, who - the 'Seven Wonders' were? Well, while this week in Clay's life has come to and end (almost! we have a backyard cookout on the way!), this story certainly will not. Clay still has to deal with the aftermath of the attack, and has to go back to school. And what's all this about a Prom coming up?
> 
> We had a special guest star in this chapter, Dr. Doug Ross from the show 'er' which ran on NBC, and in this AU of '13 Reasons Why' has taken his practice to California. But! he's *not* the special guest star from another show that I've been hinting at. Oh, no. That one is yet to come!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this three-part chapter! I appreciate your kudos, and your feedback and comments help so much as I continue to craft this story. We have a long way to go on our journey!
> 
> Ye Writer will be out of town and away from the old PC for a long weekend, but never fear, I'll be working on the story in my head while I'm away. So, stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return next week!


	11. Even Though We've Changed, I'm Still Here With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Jensens have a cookout for the Deranged Over-Protective Scooby Gang, Justin and Alex discuss Jess, and Clay finally asks out Sheri properly....plus, a glimpse of what's to come in the Maze of Moments....

 

 

 

_We are dead to rights born and raised_  
_We are thick and thin 'til our last days_  
_So hold me close and I'll surrender to your heart_  
_You know how to give and how to take_  
_You see every hope I locked away_  
_So pull me close and surrender to my heart_

\- from "Raging Fire," by Phillip Phillips

 

It was a pleasant evening in northern California. Not yet warm enough to herald the start of summer, just cool enough to be comfortable without getting overly cold, a gentle breeze stirring the tree leaves and still blooming flowers. Puffy cotton ball clouds dotted the sky here and there, and the slow decent of the sun created a reddish-orange canvas for them to rest upon. It was one of those Friday evenings to get outside and do something, and many were doing exactly that all around Crestmont. Some older couples were taking walks around their neighborhoods, holding hands and perhaps thinking back to their younger days when life seemed to go by so much slower as compared to the modern, technology filled world, dominated by social media and often the air of uncertainty. Children played in Eisenhower Park, under the watchful eyes of parents or older siblings, reveling on the thrill of going down the slide or arcing back and forth as any child inevitably does on a playground swing. Still others walked the downtown area, pondering whether or not to get that malted at Rosie's before or after seeing a movie at the theater named after their town. In short, it was a still early spring evening that might be replicated in just about any town or even a big city in America.

For some, like the Jensen family, it meant the first use of the grill for the season, to feed not only themselves but also some of the young people that Matt and Lainie had come to see has extended members of their household in one way or the other.

Matt Jensen considered himself, like most other dads, one might surmise, as a master at the art of backyard cooking. He first used the grill brush along the grates in a way that might remind one of a sailor scraping barnacles off the hull of his ship, which is to say he took careful time and effort to make sure they were cleaned off to his satisfaction. Next he sprayed a small towel with non-stick cooking oil and rubbed it over them - after all, the perfect burger _couldn't_ stick, and if he wanted those grill marks that make them look mouthwatering, well, then this extra step would have to be done. He was careful not to leave too much excess oil, while still leaving a coat on.

"Should we, like...help him?" Justin stage whispered from off to the side of the patio, watching his soon to be adopted father.

Clay shook his head. "Leave the master to his work. I actually don't think you're supposed to oil the grates like that, but..." he replied in a stage whisper of his own and a shrug.

"All right, so as you can see, I've got the grates cleaned off and oiled. Not too much oil, that's the key! You don't want it to get too smoky or give the food a funny taste. Now, we're going to light her up..." Matt bent down to adjust the propane tank and start the burners, "....and that way whatever is left will burn off. You see, boys, you can't just fire it up and throw food on there and think that's all. Oh, sure, you probably could, but it just wouldn't be the same." Bringing down the lid, Matt took a step back and looked at the grill in almost a loving way, proud of his work and accomplishment.

"Dude...dad is kinda..." Justin began.

"Yeah...we've kinda known that for years. Just let him enjoy it and think he's...Gordon Ramsay? Bobby Flay? One of them," Clay answered.

Justin simply nodded. "I'm not sure who those two are, but I'll just run with it."

As Matt went back inside to help Lainie, the two soon to be brothers walked over to the patio table and sat, each taking one bench, facing the other.

"So how did it go today? With the doc, I mean?" Justin asked.

"It went great. Yeah. Back to school Monday...and yes, I'm driving my car that morning. He even said it was cool to work out with you...under protest from me, of course, but still."

Justin nodded. "What about the sleeping and the....other thing?"

"Well," Clay sighed, "he gave mom a bunch of pamphlets and whatnot about sleeping tips and he suggested I start taking some stuff to help. Nothing prescription, some kind of a supplement. He said to give it about a month, and that this was normal and all that shit," Clay answered.

Justin nodded again. "Okay. And the other thing?"

Clay bit his lower lip and looked down at the table.

"Aw, Clay. Bro. You didn't tell him?"

Clay shook his head.

"Clay..."

"It...it'll go away, Justin. It'll be fine."

"Clay, it's _not_ fine. C'mon man..."

Clay shook his head again. "Bro Code."

"Fuck," Justin said under his breath. "All right, listen. I'll keep quiet. For now. But Clay...if this gets worse, I'm gonna talk to mom and dad."

Clay looked up and narrowed his eyes. "No. You're not."

"Clay."

"Justin."

"Clay, really..."

"Exactly. Really. The last thing I want right now is for mom and dad to flip the fuck out about this, and overreact, and send me to therapy again and put me on some shit and drag out the drama of the last year. I don't need that right now. Got it? All I want is to finish this school year, have an awesome summer, and move on," Clay said through clenched teeth.

"Clay...bro...are you okay?" Justin asked with a concerned look on his face.

As Clay had said all of that, he had gotten somewhat red in the face and had tightened his fists to the point where his knuckles had gone white. Realizing that he was becoming angry without good reason to, he took a deep breath and relaxed his hands, the red draining off. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I...I just don't want to talk about it is all. Okay?"

"All right," Justin nodded, "I'll drop it. For now. But I'm invoking my own Bro Code right now."

"Okay...."

"I'm keeping you to the promise you made to me all last week about if this gets worse or whatever. I don't want to see you hurting, not anymore."

_Great,_ Clay thought.  _Well...I did say_ _I wanted a big brother....looks like I got one. Yeah, okay. Fuck you, Monty._

"Yeah, okay....fine."

Justin nodded again, satisfied for the moment.

_You don't deserve this, dumbass,_ Justin thought. _And I need you to get better._

 

**********

 

Not all of the Gang could be there that evening, but they were well represented nonetheless. Alex and Jess were there, and where Alex went, Zach was more often than not sure to follow, and what athlete would ever turn down the prospect of free food. Tony came gladly, and brought Caleb with him, his boyfriend's first time visiting the Jensen home. And, as both Justin and Lainie  prodded earlier that day, Sheri came as well.

Clay made various attempts at small talk with her while Matt grilled burgers, Jess gladly helped out in the kitchen, and the rest of the guys sat around making idle conversation.

"So. Ummm. So, this is our backyard. It's...got grass?" Clay said, awkwardly, as he and Sheri walked around a bit.

"Yes, it certainly does," Sheri replied with a little laugh.

"And...so those are mom's flowers. In a flower bed. Which, if you think about it, makes like, zero sense, because it implies that the flowers are sleeping, and they're....not? Actually, do flowers sleep? Anyway, I'd tell you what kinds they are but...well, they've got, like...colors. And they smell nice."

"I see." Sheri smiled.

"And over here is more....grass. And that's a fence. And more fence on that side. And in the back, there. And...that's...our backyard. Oh my God, did I just give you a tour of our backyard?" Clay asked, somewhat mortified.

"Basically, yes. Yes, you did."

"Well. That was...odd. Umm. Well, how were classes this week?"

Sheri just shrugged. "You know, classes. Trying to cram in everything that we should have covered this year because all the teachers are trying to get us to finals and all."

"That's good. No! I mean...not good, because, you know, there isn't adequate time to master all of the material and....yeah." Clay took a deep breath before continuing. "We've talked...what....dozens of times, now, right?"

"I guess so?"

"Soooo why is it that trying to talk to you right now is so...for me...hard. Not like, bad hard. Good hard."

"Good hard?" Sheri raised an eyebrow as she replied, again with a smile.

"Ummm. Sure. Good hard. Hard in a good way. Not like that, though!"

While this rather bumbling conversation was going on, the other guys back at the table were trying not to watch. Trying being the optimum word.

"Why do I think this isn't going well?" Zach asked.

"Probably because it isn't. Did he really point to the grass in several locations?" Alex answered.

"Is there something unusual about your grass, Justin?" Caleb wanted to know.

Justin put his hands up in self-defense. "Dude...it's grass. Damned if I know."

"You know we're gonna have to talk to him. Right?" Tony asked the others.

Upon hearing that question, and following Zach's lead, the others placed their index fingers to their noses in the universal "not it" sign. "Oh, for crying out loud, really? What are you all, in third grade? And why do I associate with you people again?"

"Should I answer that," Caleb said, grinning.

"Not _you_ , amor. That much I knew." Tony sighed. "All right, I'm on this. But you," he said, pointing to Justin, "are doing this with me."

"Wait, what? Why me?"

"Because you're his brother."

Justin started to get up.

"Not _now._ Primero comemos, entonces lo demás. _"_

All eyes turned to Tony.

"Just....never mind, after we eat."

 

**********

 

Food having been consumed, and Clay relishing every morsel, owing to the fact that it did not contain multiple grains or odd combinations of vegetables, family and extended family sat around and made idle conversation, about everything and nothing. Justin had gone upstairs at one point to get a portable Bluetooth speaker, and turns were taken by them all sending music to it from various phones. The mood was light and pleasant, a sharp contrast from this time one week earlier.

Alex reached down for his cane and slowly swung himself around and stood up.

"Everything okay?" Zach asked.

"Yeah, just gotta use the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Hearing this, Justin stood up also. "Yeah, I need to go, too. Mind if I come with ya?"

Alex nodded. "Sure, when you gotta go and all that."

There had been multiple things on Justin's mind these last several weeks, following the incident after the spring dance and Tyler. There was the issue of his heroin addiction, which he was now being treated for. Schoolwork, while not an impossible struggle, was still a minor issue as there were one or two papers he needed to finish from the time he had missed while in juvenile detention. His adjustment to his new family was going well, and his adoption was progressing as quickly as could be expected. As he realized over the past week, Clay was now a huge and important part of his life. He often thought about his mother, Amber, and where she was and what she was doing. Seth...he tried not to think about at all, and thankfully hadn't had a nightmare about him in quite some time. All in all, while there was a lot going on, he counted himself fortunate.

One nagging issue was still there, and while it was no longer the elephant in the room necessarily, it still troubled him and made things awkward at times.

The night of the spring dance, he had sex with Jess.

Following everything else that happened that night, he had confessed to Alex a few days later, and a repeat of that weekend's shouting and yelling match with Clay over his heroin use admission was repeated. Like Clay, though, Alex had forgiven him several days later, or at least said he did. And, true, they were getting along just fine both in and out of school, but nonetheless, he worried that their friendship was no longer what it had once been. Alex and Jess had talked about it as well, and agreed to be 'just friends,' much to the reluctance and dismay of Alex. Still, all appeared to be normal, or as normal as it could be.

As Alex releived himself, Justin stood out in the hallway of the downstairs bathroom, back against the wall.

"So...how're you doing?"

"I'm pissing and it's doing just fine, oh my God, Justin."

"Not like that," Justin laughed. "Like...overall?"

"Fine. As fine as can be expected I guess."

Justin heard the toilet flush and pushed himself off the wall and went in the bathroom as Alex was washing his hands. Standing over the toilet, he unzipped and began to do his business.

"Really?" Alex asked, looking over and then away.

"Dude, I _had_ to go. But hey....I just...I wanna make sure we're right and everything, you know? Like, I know you said we are. I just don't want you to be mad at me."

"This is a very odd time to have this conversation with your dick in your hand, but whatever. Okay. No, Justin, I'm not mad at you. Still a little sad, yeah, but at the situation. If I was mad, I wouldn't be at your house right now."

"True point." Justin shook and tucked and zipped back up, then flushed. "It's just....wow, so this is gonna be weird. So...Prom."

"What about it?"

"Jess."

"And...?"

"Do I ask her, do you ask her....?"

Alex sighed. "Yeah. I hadn't thought of that. I mean, I'd kinda like to ask her...and now I gather you do as well. I don't suppose it would be right to flip a coin or whatever. And for all we know, she might be going with someone totally different."

"Like who?"

Alex shrugged.

"Maybe....neither one of us asks her?"

Alex shrugged again. "What if no one else has asked her?"

"But you just said..."

"Jesus, Justin, that was a supposition. I have no idea." Alex took up his cane and made his way out of the bathroom, Justin following. "Look. What happened, happened. I'm not happy about it at all, and I'd be a liar if I said it didn't still hurt some. But I've concluded that in the interest of all of us getting along, it's best for me to try and move past that. Did you really pee and not wash your hands?"

"They're fine, I didn't get anything on them."

"Ugh. Anyway. Yes, I still feel something for Jess, and it's obvious you do as well. And I think it's pretty clear she feels something for the both of us. How that solves this, I have no idea. Is there...someone else you maybe could ask?"

They made their way into the kitchen, to allow Alex to lean against a counter for a minute.

"Well, yeah, I guess....there's, like, a couple of girls I fuck now and then..."

"You'd bring a hookup to Prom. Really. That's....no. That's tacky, Justin. And _where_ do you hookup, anyway? Somehow I can't see you bringing girls back here for that."

"And you would be right. But there are other places," Justin grinned.

Alex's eyes went wide. "You didn't in Clay's car, did you?"

"What? No! Fuck, no! He'd flip shit if he ever found out I did that. And he's been, like, super obsessive about that damn car here lately as it is. Let's just say there are times I get a ride home from someone else once and awhile."

"Okay, fine," Alex laughed and shook his head. "Say no more. Look, we should get back. But, for real, I'm not mad at you, I'm slowly getting over it, and I have no fucking clue about what to do next when it concerns the three of us."

"All right man. We'll figure it out."

 

**********

 

Meanwhile, as Alex and Justin were inside, Zach, Jess, and Sheri were talking to one another, and Caleb was telling Matt and Lainie about coaching boxing. Tony nodded his head at Clay to get up and take a walk with him.

"What's up?" Clay asked as they walked into the yard.

"Oh, I don't know....maybe show me the grass or something?"

"You....you didn't hear me say...."

"No, Clay, but we pretty much assumed. Thanks for confirming that. So, your brother was supposed to join me in this, but I think it's time to give you some friendly advice."

"Ah. Yes, Master Yoda. Do enlighten the straight boy on the ways of wooing women," Clay joked.

"Are you going to make fun of my sage wisdom?"

"Well, no, but..."

"But nothing. Listen. Dating is dating, gay or straight. It's supposed to be sort of odd and awkward at first, but in order to even get to that point you need to....carpe diem. Seize the fucking day, as a wise person once told me."

"Who told you that?"

"I'll tell you another time. Clay, it's painfully obvious you're attracted to Sheri, we all see it. And it's not like she's shying away from you at all. You've known her for awhile, just....be yourself."

Clay looked down at the grass. "I don't know about that. Being myself is...it's not like Justin. Or you, for that matter."

"Why are you comparing yourself to us? Man, don't do that. Especially to Justin," Tony muttered. Clay was about to say something in defense of his new brother but Tony continued. "He's who he is, faults and all. I am who I am, same thing. Just....gay. And of all the people in the world, there's only one Clay Jensen. Now, at times, I admit, this is a good thing..."

"Hey now..."

"...but," Tony laughed, " one Clay Jensen is all we need, because it makes this weird little group pretty fucking lucky. And if Sheri didn't recognize that, then she wouldn't be here right now. And she wouldn't have been worried about you all week with the rest of us. Clay," Tony put a hand on Clay's shoulder, "you really deserve something good in your life after everything that's gone on. You need to allow yourself that. Okay?"

Clay thought for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

Tony nodded back and patted Clay's shoulder. "You can do this."

"I can do this," Clay said with confidence.

"Exactly. And if all else fails? Just mention your _pinga."_

"My....what? Oh my fucking God, I am going to kill Justin...."

"Justin? What does Justin have to do with it?"

"He told you, didn't he?"

"No....and why would he...you know what, never mind. Don't tell me. Ever."

"But...but how did you....?"

"I'd be a bad gay if I didn't know these things. Now, c'mon. Tonight's your chance."

 

**********

 

Clay and Tony walked back to the patio as Alex and Justin came back outside. Taking a deep breath, Clay walked over to Sheri.

"Hey. Can...I show you....would you like to see something?"

"You're not going to show her the grass again, are you?" Zach asked, grinning.

"Zach, be nice," Jess laughed. "Clay, you didn't really do that, did you?"

"Kinda? But, I'd like to show you something...and I promise it has nothing to do with backyard horticulture."

"Sure, okay," Sheri got up and followed Clay out into the yard as the others looked on. They walked some distance away, towards the very back so as not to be overheard.

_Be yourself. Be yourself. You got this. Carpe whatever the fuck._

"So...you wanted to show me the back of your backyard?"

Clay shook his head as he looked up into the night sky. "No...no, I'm trying to find it....hang on..."

Sheri now looked up as well. "Find what?" she asked, confused.

"It should be right....aha, there it is. There. See those stars there? In a half circle?"

"Yeah...around the big bright one?"

"Yeah, those. So, that's the Corona Borealis. The Northern Crown. Now that's the crown of Ariadne. She was the daughter of King Minos, you know the Minotaur and all that? In fact, she actually helped kill the Minotaur by giving Theseus a sword and a ball of string so he could find his way back out of the maze. So shes, like...associated with mazes and all."

"Oh, wow. That's actually really cool," Sheri said, impressed.

Clay went on. "In other versions, she's actually a goddess, protecting Crete. So basically, she was kind of a badass either way."

Clay looked at Sheri, who was still looking up at the constellation.

"I...I guess we've been kinda going through a maze ourselves in a way, huh?"

Sheri looked down and over at Clay, smiling. "I suppose so. That's kind of an interesting way of describing it, now that you mention it."

Clay swallowed and glanced over at the group, who were watching them with rapt attention. Justin gave him a big smile and a thumbs up, Tony nodded his head as if to say "you can do this." The rest had smiles on their faces as well, even his parents. Zach and Jess were leaning forward some, looking as if they were watching a movie play out in front of them.

"So...I think I sort of did this wrong the other night. Saturday night."

"Well, I thought it was kind of cute, truthfully."

Clay blushed. "Yeahhhh....well, cute was what I was aiming for? Um. So. Sheri...do you....would you...."

"Come on dumbass," Justin said to what he thought was himself, but heads turned to look at him for a second.

"...would you like to go to the Prom with me? And like...before that...we could maybe go on a....date? Or two?"

"And not just 'hang out?'" Sheri teased.

"Well...we can do that, too! I mean, if you want to, that is..."

Clay held his breath.

Caleb reached over and took Tony's hand and gave him a smile. Tony smiled back and kissed his boyfriend's cheek.

Zach and Jess leaned forward a bit closer, now joined by Alex, both hands on top of his cane in front of him.

Justin crossed his left arm over his chest and brought his right fist up to his mouth and bounced back and forth on his heels some.

Matt and Lainie just watched this all play out, alternating between mild confusion, amusement, and pride.

"Handsome guy...I would love to go to the Prom with you. And hang out. And on a couple of dates before," Sheri said with a smile.

Clay smiled back. "Okay. Cool. Yeah. Cool."

Hesitantly, Clay reached out to take Sheri's hand, and as his fingers brushed hers, pulled them away for just a second. Then, he reached out again, taking her right hand in his left.

_Here goes nothing...._

He then leaned in and kissed Sheri.

"FUCK YES!!!"

Heads turned again, this time including Sheri and Clay, to look at Justin, who looked like he was a proud father.

"Uhh...I mean....fudge yes? Sorry mom. Dad."

"I think we can let that one slide, Justin," Lainie said.

 

**********

 

"You did it! You did it, you did it! Dude, this is SO awesome!"

Clay finished drying his hair and threw the towel onto the dirty clothes hamper. The night had come to an end, and the rest of the weekend lay before them. While Clay was still on restriction to drive for two more days, he had asked Sheri to come by again the next day, Saturday, for the beginnings of their "hanging out" together. He had done it, indeed, and it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders, to say nothing of feeling on top of the world. He didn't know who was more excited, him or Justin, who was bouncing around their room like Tigger.

"Yeah, I really did," Clay said, giving Justin his right side of the face half smile. "Man...that went a hell of a lot easier than I thought it would. You all were right."

"See, I _told_ you. Bro. This is, like, life changing or whatever. You two are perfect for each other, and Prom is gonna be fucking awesome and you'll finally get laid and..."

"Hey, easy there, one thing at a time," Clay laughed. "Let me get through dates and stuff and all that, first." He sat on his bed and sighed happily. "This was a good night."

"Bro," Justin sat next to him and gave him a tight side hug, "this was a fucking AMAZING night."

"We need more nights like this. And days. Everything."

"And we're gonna. From now on. No more fucking drama. All good stuff from here," Justin said as he mussed up Clay's still damp hair.

_No more drama_ , Clay thought. _That means you, Monty._

 

**********

 

**_Three weeks later_ **

 

Four individuals sat in the room. The two adults were worried, but tried their best not to show it, and put on as brave and understanding of a face as they could. One of the teenage boys looked down at his hands, which were folded in his lap. His face was a combination of worry, regret, and sadness.

The second teenage boy stared off at the far wall, looking at nothing. His right hand was bandaged and he held it close to his body. His left hand tapped his left thigh.

There they sat for what seemed to be an interminably long period of time, when in reality it was only about ten minutes.

A door to an inner office opened, and a man came out.

"Clay Jensen?"

Sighing, Clay stood up. He looked at his parents first. Matt nodded at his son, and both he and Lainie smiled at him, encouragingly. Then, he looked to Justin, who looked back sadly. Clay smiled briefly at him, and Justin looked away again.

With another sigh, Clay walked over to the man, who showed him into the room. Before entering, Clay saw the nameplate next to the door:

 

**Dr. Stanley Keyworth  
**

**Clinical Traumatologist**

 

Together, they walked through, and Dr. Keyworth closed the door behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaaack! Didja miss me?
> 
> Well I missed you all! A lot! Welcome back and thank you for reading Chapter Eleven of 'Maze!'
> 
> It finally happened, our hero (well, one of them) asked out Sheri! Properly and everything! Granted it took a couple of false starts and some prodding and all, but it has happened! Meanwhile, something is being set up between Alex and Justin and Jess....I wonder who is going to take whom to the Prom in that little combo? 
> 
> Oh. And you've now gotten a little insight as to where we're heading. Now, don't fret, we still have to get Clay back to school and all of that, which will happen. But what you've seen at the conclusion will be woven into it. And, we have the reveal of our special guest star, Dr. Stanley Keyworth from "The West Wing."
> 
> The setting of the town is canon, as per the book by Jay Asher, and the fact that Justin wound up in Oakland in S2 pretty much puts it around northern California as far as I'm concerned.
> 
> As always, thank you again for reading and the kudos. I greatly appreciate your advice and feedback. We have a long journey ahead of us and much more story to tell, so as always, stay tuned! Clay and Justin will return in our next chapter, coming soon!


	12. Reasons Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our story is now three weeks ahead, and we get to where we are via flashbacks....Clay begins a therapy session, and recounts the rest of the weekend and his going back to school, while Cyrus joins the story and there might be more than meets the eye with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for very brief mention of homosexual slur

_Standing on a darkened stage, stumbling through the lines_  
_Others have excuses, but I have my reasons why_

\- from "Reasons Why," by Nickel Creek

 

Stanley Keyworth led Clay into his inner office, a large, light oak paneled room, with a window behind his desk. Clay took in his surroundings. To his right were rows of bookshelves, stuffed to the brim with texts, journals and bric-a-brac such as small framed pictures. In front of him was the aforementioned desk that had stacked file folders and assorted papers, telephone and computer. Looking past that and out the window, he could see part of the quad on the college campus this particular building was located on, the same small school Matt Jensen taught at. Two chairs were situated in front of the desk at an angle. To his left was a long, comfortable looking leather couch, a rectangular table in front of it, and a painting of the White House affixed to the wall above it.

"Have a seat, Clay," Stanley said with a warm smile as he walked over to the front of his desk to pick up a file and a notepad.

"Um, sure. Like...in one of the chairs, or...?"

Stanley next took a pen. "Oh, wherever you'd like. The couch is fine if you'd like to sit on it."

"Not lay down on it?"

Stanley turned and smiled at Clay again. "Only if you really want to. That's really something more you see on tv. Want something to drink? Water? Soda? Coffee?"

Clay sat and sunk back on the couch. It really was comfortable. "Uh, coffee sounds good actually. If you don't mind."

"Not at all," Stanley dropped the files on the table and walked over to a smaller one in the corner opposite, which had a Kureig machine on it. "What happened to your hand?"

Clay looked down at his bandaged right hand. "I...um...I cut it on some glass."

"The glass broke?"

"Well...it was a mirror. I...slipped in our bathroom at home. The floor was kinda wet, and...I fell forward and caught myself on the mirror. Guess I was going kinda fast."

"Yeah....sounds like you were." He had popped a K-Cup into the machine, closed the lid and started it up.

"Do I...call you doctor?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Is it Doctor Keyworth?"

"Stanley is fine. Cream? Sugar?"

"Just black."

Stanley nodded. "Black it is then. So, Clay...let me tell you a little bit about..."

"Look, Stanley," Clay interrupted, "I've been to therapy before. And no offense, 'cause you seem like a nice guy and all that....but I want to be totally honest with you up front."

"Okay," Stanley replied, walking over and handing the mug to Clay, who took it with his left hand. "Honesty is good." He pulled one of the chairs over to the corner of the table in front of the couch and sat, so that he was at an angle to Clay.

"Anyway....like I said, I've been to therapy before...and I think it's kind of bullshit. This isn't my first rodeo is what I'm getting at, I guess. I...I don't really even know why I'm here." Clay took a sip of the coffee as he finished.

"Well....you're here because your family wants you here and they're worried about you. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. That all right?"

"Sure."

"I used to work for ATVA, do you know what ATVA is? No? It's the American Trauma Victims Association. We would be called in by the government to assist and work with trauma victims. So, Hurricane Katrina, the Joplin tornado in 2011. Sandy Hook, we worked with the parents and the kids. At one point I consulted the Deputy White House Chief of Staff and the President of the United States."

Clay had brought the mug back up to his lips when he heard that last bit of information and stopped. "You...worked with Trump?"

Stanley chuckled. "No, before Trump."

"Obama?"

"Before you were born, Clay. Anyway...I decided to go back into private practice a couple of years ago and come back out to California...I'm from San Fransisco, originally. Also thought I'd try my hand at teaching, which is how I know your dad."

"Okay. Cool." As Clay took another sip, he felt something nudge his leg. Looking down, a Corgi was looking back up at him. "Oh...hi there." The Corgi jumped up onto the couch and nuzzled next to Clay, laying down next to him.

"That's Lulu. She likes to come to work with me sometimes. You don't mind her being on the couch with you, do you?"

"No...no, not at all," Clay smiled. Carefully taking the mug into his bandaged hand with a wince, he began to stroke Lulu who sighed contentedly and snuggled up against Clay's leg a little more.

"So. It's perfectly fair that you think this is all 'bullshit,' but you're here, we've got a couple of hours together....why don't we talk some."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

Stanley jotted down something on a paper in one of the file folders that he had opened. "How did you cut your hand?"

Clay opened his mouth...but found that he could not respond.

"This isn't my first rodeo either, Clay."

Clay looked down at Lulu and continued to pet her.

"You've had quite a year," Stanley continued while looking at his notes. "One friend commits suicide. Another is killed in a traffic accident. A third attempts suicide. A fourth is diagnosed with bipolar disorder and spends some time at a mental health facility...she was your girlfriend?"

Clay nodded. "Yeah...at the time. Skye," he replied softly.

"Another friend almost commits a school shooting, which you prevent, and is also in a mental health facility. There's a trial in which you testify, you've had several physical altercations at school, including one recently which led to your being hospitalized." Stanley looked up from his notes. "That's quite a lot for a seventeen year old to take in."

"I guess I like to keep busy."

"One way of putting it. The young man in the waiting room with your parents. Justin?"

"Yeah...Justin. He's my brother. Well, adopted brother. Soon...to be adopted brother."

"Was he there?"

"When?"

"The day it happened. The time that caused you to go to the hospital. Was he with you?"

"Well, he took me to the hospital. Him and our friend, Zach."

Stanley nodded his head. "Well, okay, but what I'm asking is, was he there when it happened."

Clay inhaled. "Everyone was there. It was the end of the day, lots of kids in the hallway..."

"Who was with _you_? Clay, were you by yourself when it happened?"

Clay looked down again and nodded. "Yeah. Justin and Zach and our other friend, Alex...they were down the hall and saw it happen."

"Okay. What happened then?"

"They...Justin and Zach...they got me to the hospital. I don't remember too much about getting there. I woke up in the hospital and my mom and dad were there in the emergency room with me."

"Okay." Stanley made some more notes. "And you had a pretty bad concussion. Still recovering...are you still experiencing any symptoms?"

"I still get headaches sometimes. I'm having trouble sleeping. And...I guess I get...like, angry."

"Angry at what, or about what?"

"I dunno...just, angry," Clay shrugged.

"Okay. So, what happened three weeks ago?"

Clay looked up again at Stanley, somewhat confused. "I...I'm not sure what you're talking about," he said before taking another drink of coffee.

"Well, I'm not sure what I'm talking about either, but your family and friends started to become concerned about you three weeks ago. What happened, what was going on?"

"Lots of stuff, I guess."

"Okay. What kinds of 'stuff?'

"Well....I went back to school after being home for a week after....after..." Clay closed his eyes. His left hand trembled a little, which caused Lulu to look over at him and slowly crawl up onto his lap. "After..Monty...Montgomery...attacked me. Hit me. That's what sent me to the hospital."

"Well, why don't we start there. Tell me about going back to school."

 

**********

 

  _ **Three weeks earlier...  
**_

 

The rest of the weekend passed relatively uneventfully, save one or two things.

For one, Sheri had come over on that Saturday, as Clay had invited, and they did begin their 'hanging out,' as Clay put it one week prior. Matt and Lainie tactfully left for a few hours that afternoon to go to a farmer's market and craft fair, taking Justin along with them. He wasn't exactly keen on going, however.

"But dad...what do I know about crafts and stuff? And why would I wanna look at vegetables. On a Saturday?" he asked Matt.

"Because," his soon to be adopted father replied, tying a shoe as he did so, "Clay should have a little time to himself with Sheri. It's only for a couple of hours, and it'll make your mom happy if you came with us. Which is to say, her." He looked up at Justin after he finished. "I'm not exactly too thrilled about the crafting thing myself, mind you, but...sometimes we have to make sacrifices. That's part of being a family," he said with a smile.

Justin nodded, taking in what Matt had said. "So...if Clay can have Sheri over...and be here by himself with her...does this mean that, like, at some point, I can...y'know..."

"Have someone over also?"

"Um. Yeah."

Matt stood up and put an arm around Justin's shoulders, walking him to the front door. "Soon, yes. Now, I know it doesn't seem very fair right now, and I understand that. And I don't want you to think we're playing favorites, because we're not. But, Clay deserves a little bit of leeway after everything that has gone on....just a little. And I think you've adjusted very well to your new home and have followed the guidelines we've set. I'll talk to mom and see about loosening up some restrictions. Sound fair?"

"Yeah, that's fair. Thanks, dad."

Meanwhile, Lainie was laying down the law with Clay.

"It'll only be for a couple of hours, but if you need anything you call us right away and we'll come back early. You still can't drive until Monday morning, and I'd prefer you not leave the house, even if Sheri offers to drive you someplace..."

"Mom, I hadn't planned on going anywhere, we're just gonna stay here and, I dunno...watch a movie or talk or whatever..." Clay interjected.

"About that 'whatever'....now, you know we've talked to you about being safe and using protecti..."

"MOM! Oh my God, no...I'm not planning on having sex!"

"All right, all right, just a gentle reminder. Now remember, if you need anything or feel sick..."

"Yes. I know. Call. Right away," Clay said, exasperated. "Go. Buy some kind of vegetable I'll be sure to hate. Okay?"

Lainie smiled and kissed Clay on the cheek and they also made their way to the front door. "Have a good time, we'll be back soon."

"See ya bro," Justin smirked. "Have a _real_ good time."

Clay stared at him for a second. "Shut up. Have fun looking at arts and crafts."

Justin opened his mouth and tried for a comeback, but realizing that his early afternoon was not going to be as enjoyable as Clay's, he simply muttered under his breath something that sounded like 'yarn' and 'shit' and walked out to the car.

A few minutes later, Sheri arrived and found Clay waiting for her on the front steps.

"Hey there, handsome guy," she greeted him with a smile.

"Hi," Clay smiled back as he got up and led her inside. Closing the door behind them, he thought for a second, and leaned in and kissed Sheri, a simple peck on the lips. Seeing her smile again, he once more kissed her. Then once more. Then, placing his hands on her hips, and Sheri having wrapped her arms around his neck, there was a full blown make out session going on in the entry way to the Jensen home. After several minutes, Clay pulled his head back.

"I...is this okay?" he asked.

"It's fine," Sheri said, stroking the back of his hair.

"It's...it's just...we haven't done this since...you know. That day."

"Yeah, I know. Really, it's okay. I've thought about it a lot. Not, like...what brought us to that, but the actual doing it."

Clay nodded. "Yeah...yeah, I have, too..." He led her into the living room where they sat on the couch, and facing one another continued to kiss for several more minutes, until a slight pain in the back of his head gradually migrated to the front.

_No no no....aw shit no....not now...._

Clay pulled away and winced.

"What's wrong?" Sheri asked, concerned.

"I...I'm getting a headache again. Dammit!" he replied, rubbing his hand across his forehead. "I haven't had one in a couple days....I'm...I'm sorry, this is, like, the worst timing...."

"Hey...hey, it's okay, Clay, it's not your fault," Sheri said, rubbing Clay's back. "They'll go away soon once you're over this for good. Just gotta be patient."

"Yeah, I guess so. Ugh. I'm really sorry."

"It's fine, really! Here, where do you keep something for a headache?"

"There's...Tylenol in the kitchen. Top right cabinet above the sink."

"Okay, be right back."

As Sheri got up, Clay cursed his luck and leaned back into the couch.

_Fucking shit...of all the times to get one of these stupid headaches, now would have to be the time....thanks, brain._

Clay closed his eyes. And there was Monty, staring at him. Laughing.

As Sheri came back into the room, she noticed that Clay was now sitting forward on the couch, with an irritated look on his face.

"It's a bad one, huh?"

No response.

"Clay?"

"Huh? Oh....no. It's...not too bad. Sorry."

Clay took the pills from her and drank them down, using the bottle of water Sheri had also brought. _This is getting to be ridiculous now,_ he thought to himself. "I...guess I kinda screwed this up."

"No, you didn't, I swear," Sheri said with a small laugh. "Clay, it's fine, really. I'm just glad we get to spend some time together."

"Me too," Clay nodded. "I...kinda liked the kissing," he blushed.

"Just kinda?"

"No! I mean...a lot. Very much a lot. It's...okay, so this is gonna be...a typical 'me' question, but...am I any good? At the kissing, I mean?"

"Very good," Sheri leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before sitting back and playing with Clay's hair, causing him to sigh.

"That feels good," he said softly and with a smile, closing his eyes.

And so, their 'hangout out' continued, albeit not in the same way that it had begun. Clay's headache, while annoying, wasn't too overly painful, and they talked about everything and nothing for the rest of their afternoon together, from school to living with Justin, to the upcoming Prom. They agreed to a first official date later that week, when Clay was cleared to drive on his own, probably on the traditional time of Friday night. Clay promised that he was going to make it a special evening. The rest of the Jensen (and almost a Jensen) clan returned, and while Sheri was invited once more to stay for dinner, she had to beg off, owing to a promise to do so with her father and make it a dad a daughter night.

Clay walked Sheri to her car and gave her a warm hug. "Hey...thanks for coming over today. Sorry again about my stupid head."

"Your head isn't stupid...it's just, I don't know. Resetting is all. You're fine, handsome guy...." Sheri leaned in to whisper in Clay's ear, "...in more ways than one."

Clay's cheeks colored. "S-so...so are you. Like, very fine." He kissed Sheri goodbye and watched as she drove off, waving as she did so.

Turning to go back inside, he stopped and did a double take as Justin stood on the front porch, grinning.

"Dude...really? _Not_ cool."

"Hey, relax. I just came out and saw the last part of it...I didn't eavesdrop or anything, promise. So, how'd it go?"

"Good...really good. Until I got a headache. But we liked, talked and stuff. It was nice," Clay answered as he walked up the steps.

"Stuff, huh? What kind of stuff?" Justin grinned again, poking his brother in the stomach playfully.

"Quit," Clay laughed. "Stuff. The making out kind of stuff."

"Nice! See, you're getting there, dumbass. Next thing you know, you're gonna be a little stud."

"Lord, shithead, I think you're the horniest person I've ever met in my life....."

 

**********

 

The second thing of note to happen that Saturday was the conversation that took place over dinner.

"Clay," Lainie began as she passed a bowl of potatoes over to Justin, "it's time we discuss Montgomery, as a family. We put it off all week, but with you going back to school on Monday, we need to have this out."

Sighing resignedly, Clay nodded as he took the bowl from Justin. "Yeah...okay, fine. Let's get this over with."

"So," Matt said, "your mother and I have talked about it, and what we've decided to do is file for a restraining order on Monday morning on your behalf. And Justin's. That way, he won't be allowed to come near or hurt either one of you in school."

Clay had been cutting into his food when he heard this, and stopped. "But...okay. So, how is he supposed to finish the school year then? And what about outside of school?"

"The order will cover outside of school as well. And Clay, I wouldn't be concerned with how this would affect his finishing the year, that's not our problem," Matt answered.

"I...I don't know. I just think this is going to create more problems than it will solve. He's got friends, you know."

"Dude," Justin began with a mouthful of food.

"Justin, manners," Lainie gently reminded him.

Swallowing, Justin continued. "Sorry, mom. Dude...don't worry about the goons. You'll have a lot of us watching your back...me, Zach, Scott, Tony...it'll be fine."

Sighing, Clay pursed his lips. "This is just stupid."

"Clay..."

"No, dad, it is! We're going to file a restraining order on a dumb jock, who will still be in the school anyway, have his schedule all fucked up, which, by the way, will make him more pissed off and pissed off at me, and oh, what do we do when the order expires?"

"Honey, language. Look, the first time an order is granted, it isn't permanent, but if we have to go back again, then we will. The alternative is we file charges."

Clay put his fork down and rubbed his temples. "I...I don't want a trial again. I can't."

"All right then. Clay, sweetheart...this is the best alternative, then. For now. Let's go with this, and if we have to do anything further, then we will? Okay?"

"All right. Fine."

 

**********

 

**3:34am**

Something was shaking Justin's shoulder as his dreams alternated between running a play down the court, holding up a fist to signal to his teammates....and a rather voluptuous naked woman doing especially naughty things with him.

Opening one eye, he saw Clay looking down at him. And he looked awful.

Justin sat up quickly. "Okay, I'm here. What's wrong...did you have a nightmare?"

Clay shook his head 'no.'

"Can't sleep?"

"I...I did...I was...but I woke up like two hours ago and I can't fall back asleep," he replied, sounding once more like a little boy, and not the seventeen year old he was.

Justin nodded and got up off the couch. "Did you try listening to the rain again?"

Clay nodded.

"Okay, come on."

Justin walked Clay back over to the bed and let him get in first, then Justin lay down next to him. Clay lay on Justin's chest and held onto the shirt Justin had worn to bed, clenching it in his left hand.

"I'm sorry," Clay whispered.

"It's okay. Close your eyes. You sure it wasn't a bad dream?"

"N-no...it really wasn't, I swear. I was sleeping really good and then I woke up and..."

"Okay...okay. Shhhh....just relax. You're gonna be better soon. This happened to me, too, a few times after a concussion."

"How....how come you never told me?"

Justin shrugged, or tried to, what with another person on him. "Just...never thought about it I guess."

The reality was, he didn't want to talk about what had led to some of those concussions to begin with.

"You're gonna be okay. You sure you weren't seeing you know who?"

"Voldemort?" Clay whispered with a smile.

"Yeah, sure, him," Justin smiled back.

"No, I really wasn't. Honest." He hated lying to Justin like that, but he didn't want to go into how what woke him up in the first place was the image of Monty taunting and laughing at him, calling him a "worthless faggot" and "half a man." It wasn't exactly a nightmare, per se, but it certainly wasn't pleasant, either.

They lay in silence for a few minutes. Then...

"Justin?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared. About Monday."

Justin hugged Clay closer to him. "Hey, it's gonna be okay. The first day will be a little weird, but once you're settled back in, it's gonna be fine. And I'll be there. Like I said, little bro...I'll _always_ protect you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Hearing that assurance, and being called the little brother for the first time, made Clay feel better. After a few minutes, and hearing the steady heartbeat of Justin and feeling the rise and fall of his chest, Clay finally fell back asleep.

 

**********

 

**Monday Morning**

 

"Once I ran to you, now I'll run from you, this tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you, take my tears that's not nearly allllllllllll tainted love..."

 

Clay held out his fist, which Justin bumped as they sang along together on the drive to school. Windows down, a breeze coming into the car, the sun shining, it was a picture perfect morning. For Clay, it was fantastic to be behind the wheel for the first time in what seemed like forever. He felt in control again, and maybe, just possibly maybe, everyone was right. Once he was back into the swing of things, and could concentrate on finishing out the year, making it through finals, taking Sheri to the Prom and having a great time, then maybe things would be back to normal. True, there was still the issue of Monty, but who knows, maybe everyone was correct there, also. Maybe this restraining order his mother was filing later that morning would solve a lot of problems. Either way, it was a beautiful morning, he had gotten mostly a full nights sleep that Sunday night, he was driving again and the freedom to do that was invigorating.

After parking the car and retrieving backpacks from the back seat, they walked to the entrance of Liberty High, where they saw several people waiting for them.

"There he is..." Tony said.

"Welcome back, man," added Zach.

"If you want, you can use the handicapped accessible entrance with me," Alex darkly joked.

"Dude, don't talk like that," Clay laughed, adjusting the bag on his shoulder.

"Good to have you back, handsome guy," Sheri said with a smile.

"Hi," Clay said to her, before kissing her. And not a quick kiss, either.

Collective eyebrows went up.

"Yeah....there's been some developments," Justin said, seeing the reaction of their friends.

Together, they walked into the school, taking it a little slowly to account for Alex.

"Clay!!"

He looked up and saw Cyrus walking towards them, a huge grin plastered on his face.

"Hey, Cy. Whoa..." Clay laughed as Cyrus pulled him in for a big hug.

"We missed ya man! Sorry I wasn't able to come by last week, but we need to hang out and catch up."

"For sure, yeah. I'd like that."

"Cool," Cyrus said, pulling out of the hug. Looking at Alex he gave a little smile. "Hey, 'Lex. Morning," he said, not quite as boisterously as he was just a second ago.

"Umm...morning, Cyrus."

"Hey, I gotta get to lab, but I'll check in with everyone later. Oh, and Clay," he said, turning back to him. "If Monty tries to pull anything, no worries. I've got the cavalry, man. Say the word and we're on it."

"Yeah, sure...thanks, Cy."

"Later!"

Zach leaned down to talk to Alex quietly. "What was that all about?"

Alex shrugged and walked on.

Once they got to Clay's locker, the Gang stood off to the side some as Clay approached it.

_5-4-23.....5-4-23...5-4-23....you got this..._

As he lifted his hand to turn the tumbler on his lock, Clay's hand started to shake. The trembling was faint at first, but then became more pronounced.

_Jensen!_

The WiFi was going out again....now his other hand started to shake...

_Gotta duck gotta duck gotta duck...._

"Clay?"

**_thud_ **

"Clay? You all right?"

_MotherFUCKER!!!_

"Clay," Justin came over and placed a hand on Clay's shoulder, causing him to jump and yell. "STOP!"

Justin stepped back quickly. "Hey...it's okay, bro."

Clay panted and caught his breath, then closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them back up, there were several worried faces looking back at him.

"I...I'm fine...sorry, I just...it's fine."

"Clay," Sheri walked up to him. "How about I help?"

Clay nodded and while Sheri held his left hand, he again went to his lock, and this time he was able to spin it and open his locker. Sighing with relief, he turned to her. "Thanks," he said softly.

"No problem."

Switching out some books, Clay closed his locker and turned back to the Gang.

"What?"

"You sure you're okay?" Tony asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine....just, first day jitters I guess."

"If you say so. Okay, listen up. Keep phones on vibrate. Those of us not in the same classes as Clay, meet up with him as soon as you can in the hall in between periods, just in case. We've got Scott as backup, and now sounds like Cyrus and his group as well. Monty is pretty well confined on the other side of the building, but there's no telling when or if he might pop up, or one of his asshole jock boys. No offense, Zach, Justin. We can get through this first day, and all downhill from here. Everybody got it?" Tony more or less commanded, taking charge.

Head nods all around.

"Okay then. Let's do this."

Clay came up to Sheri. "I'll see you at lunch, yeah?"

"Wouldn't miss it," she smiled and kissed his cheek before walking to her first period.

Justin put his arm around Clay's shoulder and walked him down the hall, weaving in and around students making their way to classes. "I'll see you third period. If you need anything, I mean _anything_ , you let me know...text me right away and I'll be there. Okay?"

"Okay, yeah."

"Love you bro."

"Love you too, bro."

Justin patted his back when they made it to Clay's first classroom of the day.

_Well. Here goes nothing._

 

**********

"...and that's pretty much it. The first day was the first day. I went to class, met up with my friends in between....it went fine," Clay said, finishing his coffee and putting the mug on the table.

"Okay," Stanley said, flipping to another page in Clay's file. "So, the first day went fine."

"Yep."

"No problems."

"Nope."

Stanley nodded and waited for a second before continuing.

"What about the next day, Clay?"

Clay bit his lower lip and looked down and Lulu, who was curled up in his lap. He began to pet her again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I feel like this is going to be another 'Seven Wonders' chapter.....
> 
> Oh, hi! Welcome back, and thanks for reading the next chapter of Maze! Clay is finally getting back to school, at long last, and we're going back and forth in time here for a little bit, what with his session with Stanley Keyworth and all. And it looks like there's some serious snugglebunnies happening between him and Sheri! 
> 
> Yes, I said snugglebunnies.
> 
> As always, lots more to come. Thank you again for the kudos and your comments and feedback, I appreciate them and the suggestions! Stay tuned, as Clay and Justin will return soon in our next chapter. Now, what exactly did happen on the second day Clay was back at school.....


	13. Reasons Why - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay continues his therapy session...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for passing references to the sexual assault on Tyler as depicted in Season Two, and instances of PTSD.

_I only found out yesterday_  
_I heard it on the news_  
_What I heard really pissed me off_  
_'Cause now I got those fucking blues_

\- from "Thru and Thru,' by the Rolling Stones

 

**Monday Afternoon**

To say that Clay wasn't at all thrilled about the prospect of working out with Justin was somewhat of an understatement. True, what Justin had said a week prior was correct. Years of biking and running every once and awhile kept him in relatively good shape, and what seemed to be the never-ending series of fights over the last year showed that Clay could hold his own. Mostly. Kind of. More often than not, he was on the receiving end of the fists and feet, but he had gotten a few good licks in here and there. So, star athlete or boxer, he most certainly was not. But, what Justin had in mind? Well. That was simply ridiculous.

"Okay," Justin said as they walked into the gym, "we'll stretch and warm up, do a little cardio, and then maybe...I dunno...could work on chest today to start."

It's not that Clay had never been in a gym before, he had. At school. But the local Planet Fitness was a completely different environment. Justin had purchased a membership using some of the money he had earned completing a few odd jobs around the house, and in lieu of a regular part-time job, which he intended to find over the summer, it was, more or less an allowance. He needed to get back into shape, and while he could, and did, work out at Liberty, he wanted to lift and train just that much harder, to prove to himself and to everyone else that he could make a comeback for his senior year. Justin checked himself in, and Clay as his guest, and as they made their way past rows of treadmills and elliptical machines and bikes, Clay couldn't help but notice that the majority of the patrons seemed, well, normal. Not the usual high school jock crowd he was used to. Maybe, just possibly maybe, he could do this without making a total fool of himself.

"You brought your headphones, right?" Justin asked.

"Yep," Clay replied, patting the pocket of his shorts.

"Cool. Find something to listen to that'll keep you motivated...not that indie stuff."

"Hey, I _like_ that 'indie stuff.'"

"Great. But that's not quite what you want to listen to here. I'll find a playlist for ya."

Clay shrugged and got onto one of the treadmills.

"Whoa...what're you doing?"

"I...thought you said we were gonna run?"

"Yeah. After we warm up. You gotta stretch, first, bro." Justin proceeded to show and lead Clay through a variety of leg stretches next to the machine, and made conversation as he did so. "Good first day back?"

"Yeah...better than I... _ow_...thought it would be," Clay nodded as he felt his hamstring stretching.

"Told ya it'd be all right. Just, what, a couple more weeks and then we're home free."

"Uh huh... _Jesus_...." Now it was the quadriceps.

"You and Sheri on Friday night, huh?"

"Yeah... _ohmyGodthatfuckinghurts_....okay...I'm stretched!" Clay said, standing up straight. Quickly.

Justin laughed as he stood up also. "It'll get easier the more you do it. Okay, so run on the tread for like, fifteen minutes, then we'll go lift."

Clay shook his head as he put in his headphones. "Just remember. Be nice to me, I have..."

"...a concussion. Yeah, I know." Justin finished. "Speaking of, don't push yourself too much, okay? If you don't feel right or get dizzy, make sure to stop. Go get some water."

"Got it."

Clay got on the treadmill and started it up, and began to jog, listening to the sounds of Limp Bizkit and Drake and various other musicians as he did so. It's not that he was unfamiliar with them, and he actually liked many of the songs, but they wouldn't have been his go-to choices necessarily. Still, as it turns out, Justin was right, these were the right ones to have playing during the jog. As he began to break a sweat, he had to admit to himself...this felt good. He hadn't done any running of his own volition in some time, and ever since he was run off the road there wasn't the constant bike riding all over town. Plus, this was an excellent distraction from everything that had gone on the last week or so: no Monty, no hospital room, no thoughts of lockers and heads being bounced off of them. By concentrating on his pace and breathing, there was little else to worry about.

The fifteen minutes ended, and they stepped off the machines. "How was that?" a sweaty and panting Justin asked, wiping his face with his tank top.

"Good...like, really good," an equally sweaty and panting Clay answered.

"Awesome! Okay, let's get some water and then we'll lift for a little while."

_Lovely,_ Clay thought to himself, following along.

After taking several drinks from the fountain, Justin led him over to the weights and machines section of the gym. "Right, so we're going to work on chest today. I'm gonna get you on the machines to start, and the more we do over time, we'll transition over to the benches and free weights. Here, let's start with the butterfly."

"Why...does this look like a medieval torture device? It looks nothing like a butterfly," Clay asked him.

"Not the look, the action. Here, watch me first." Justin adjusted the weight pin and sat down, knocking out ten repetitions. "See?"

"Oh, I get it...it looks like a butterfly's wings. Kinda."

"Okay, I'm gonna lower the weight for you to start. You're gonna do ten reps, three sets. We'll alternate."

Clay sat and knocked out the exercise easily, and, as Justin instructed, they took turns until each had done three sets of ten.

_Okay...not so bad. I can do this._

"Good job! All right, let's try the bench press next."

And so on it went through a good forty-five minutes, doing flat benches, incline press, and finishing with chin ups and some ab crunches. As they stretched to cool down, Justin once again looked like a proud, albeit sweaty, father. "See? I knew you could do this. How do you feel?"

"Sore. Very sore," Clay muttered.

"Yeah, you will be for a couple of days. But hey, the more we do this, the easier it'll get. Tomorrow we'll do either back or legs."

_Tomorrow? I have to do this...again?_

There was one immediate, tangible benefit to the workout. After getting home, cleaning up, eating dinner with their parents and then finishing up homework, Clay was pretty much wiped out. As Justin came in from the bathroom after taking a shower before calling it a day, Clay was already laying on top of his bed, passed out. Smiling, he took a blanket and placed it over his softly snoring brother, mussed up his hair, and went to the couch to turn in.

 

**********

 

"Clay?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Sorry...what was the question?"

Stanley shifted a little in his chair. "What about the next day? It wasn't as good as Monday, apparently."

"No offense, but it sounds like you already know the answers to your own questions. Isn't that, like...cheating, or something?"

"Well, not exactly, no...."

"Why don't you just ask all my friends about it, then," Clay said, a little irritated.

"I already did."

Clay went silent and looked down at Lulu, who sat up some and licked his chin before laying back on his lap.

"Clay?"

"They're either talking about Bryce...or Tyler," he said resignedly.

"Bryce Walker. He was the one found guilty of rape."

Clay nodded.

"And Tyler Down. He almost committed the school shooting. The one which you prevented."

Clay nodded again.

"Okay. Talk to me about what happened with Bryce."

 

**********

 

**Tuesday Mid-Morning  
**

 

The bustle of students jostling about in the hall mirrored that of any typical high school. The mad dash to swap out books or other materials before the start of the next period, quick trips to the restroom, visits to various offices of coaches or guidance counselors - it was, in essence, controlled chaos. Perhaps just a bit more intensified in these last few weeks of classes prior to finals week and the end of the year, but chaos all the same.

As Clay made his way over to his locker to do the very same thing that so many of his classmates were in the process of accomplishing, he looked to his left and right several times, noticing that one of his self-appointed "bodyguards" from the Gang wasn't with him yet.

_Must be trying to get here....stuck in 'traffic'.....okay, we can do this, no worries...just grab your French text and get going..._

Making it to his locker, and taking a deep breath, Clay spun the tumbler and got out what he needed, exchanging his Trig book in the process.

_So far so good....even got the locker open without a freak out....okay, we got this...._

Closing the door and his lock, he turned to walk in the direction of his French classroom, when he heard behind him:

"Hey...Jensen!"

_Aw, fuck me...._

Slowly turning, four former baseball players now stood in front of him, including Bryce Walker.

"Where ya goin' so fast, Jensen?" said Meathead Number One.

"Yeah, slow up there buddy...we've got a few things to talk about. What's all this I hear about a restraining order against Monty?" Bryce asked. "That doesn't sound too....what's the word I'm looking for, here? Neighborly?"

Clay's hands started to shake, which did not go unnoticed by Bryce.

"What's wrong, Jensen? Got the trembles? C'mon now, nothing to be worried about. We're just having a friendly chat is all."

Bryce and his goons took a step closer.

"Where's your "brother" at? Ya know...I'm only going to be at this shithole for a few more weeks and then you'll probably never see me again.. I wouldn't want to leave without saying goodbye at some point."

_Fuck fuck fuck..._

"I...I don't want any....come on, Bryce...don't do this man..." Clay stammered out.

Meathead Number Two smirked as Clay slowly began to back away. As he was doing so, Ryan hurriedly turned the corner, somewhat out of breath as he rushed to make it to Clay before just such a scenario playing out before him could happen. Granted, he wasn't exactly a "bodyguard" in the sense that, say, Justin or Tony would be, but they had all agreed to take turns walking with Clay in the halls in between classes, as per the previous morning's conversation, and he was more than willing to help out. Seeing Clay facing down Bryce and his buddies, he cursed his luck that his last period teacher kept the class over by a few minutes, and ducked back around, pulling out his phone as he did so.

"I wouldn't stand a chance..." he muttered to himself.

**Ryan:** _We've got a 911 folks...Bryce x 4 vs Clay....got here late..._

"Come on, come on..." he said to himself, anxiously watching his screen for a response.

**Cyrus:** _OMW!!!_

"Cyrus. Cyrus?" he asked himself, somewhat confused.

"Now, Jensen," Bryce said smugly, "if you think I'm going to touch you...well, you'd be wrong. After all, I don't want to fuck up my probation. My friends here, on the other hand, well, they don't have any such restrictions. Do you, fellas?"

The WiFi started to go out again as Clay took another step back, and his breathing sped up, close to the point of hyperventilating.

_Jensen!_

**_thud_ **

_MotherFUCKER!!!_

Students around them backed away, waiting to see how this might play out. As they were doing so, Cyrus came running down the hall and slid to a halt next to Clay.

"Let's go motherfuckers!"

Clay shook his head to clear it and blinked a few times before looking over at Cyrus. "Wh-where's....what happened to the cavalry?"

Cyrus looked at Clay and shrugged. "Got to class before me? Don't worry about it, we got this."

Clay raised his eyebrows. "Me and you against three jocks. What could possibly go wrong?"

"It'll be fine," Cyrus replied, bouncing up and down some. "I got the two on the right."

Were it not for recent events, the ridiculousness of the situation would have caused Clay to start laughing. "Have you lost your goddamned mind?!"

Bryce looked at the scenario playing out in front of him. "This is...you're kidding me, right?" he said, an incredulous look on his face. "First of all, nothing is going to happen right here, right now, second of all....what? What are you two looking at now?"

He looked at Clay, who suddenly looked relieved, and Cyrus, who stopped hopping like a prize fighter and broke out into a smug smile of his own.

"What?" Bryce asked again.

"Turn around, asshole," Cyrus said.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to fall for that? What, you think this is a show on Netflix or some shit?"

"You might want to turn around, Walker," Scott's voice came from behind Bryce.

Turning around slowly, Bryce and his lackeys saw Scott, Tony and Zach standing with their arms crossed, and Justin, who was red in the face with anger, fists clenched at his side.

"Walk away. Now. And never, ever go near him again. Understand?" Scott said.

Bryce smirked and nodded his head. "Nice, Reed. Real nice. All right, fine. Looks like Jensen has...what should we call it, an army? Oh, hey there, Foley. Or are you a Jensen, too? Whichever...you're still trash."

"Shut the fuck up and walk away, Bryce," Justin said through clenched teeth as Ryan walked up behind Clay and Cyrus.

"Okay, okay...I got it. Another day then." Bryce walked off with a swagger, his goons dutifully trailing behind.

Clay exhaled and started to slump over some, Ryan and Cyrus holding onto him so he wouldn't fall to the floor, as Justin hurried over.

"Clay...Clay, I'm sorry man, I got here as quick as I could....are you all right?" he asked, placing his hands on his brother's shoulders.

"I....yeah...I...oh shit, I think I'm gonna be sick..." Clay replied, the color draining from his face.

As the period bell rang, Justin hurried Clay a bit further down the hall, the rest of the group bringing up the rear, and into the nearest men's bathroom, ushering him inside. While the others waited outside, Clay made a beeline for the nearest stall, dropped his book bag, and knelt in front of the toilet just in time to see his breakfast come up.

 

**********

 

"Well. Thank goodness for your friends."

Clay nodded. "Yeah."

Stanley got up from his chair and went back over to make a cup of coffee for himself. "Did that other boy...Cyrus? Did he ever explain how, exactly, he was going to take on two other guys by himself?"

The question and the absurdity of that whole particular aspect of what had happened lightened the mood some, and Clay laughed a little, causing Lulu to shift on his lap. "No...no, he didn't. I guess he would've fought dirty or something, I dunno. He can be a little...odd? But he's a good guy."

"It sounds like it. Okay, so you have an almost confrontation and an adverse physical reaction because of it. Then, you go back to class. What happens at lunch. What did you hear?"

"I heard of lot of shit. It's a high school cafeteria."

"Clever. Trust me when I tell you that while I appreciate cute answers..."

"Stanley," Clay shifted and Lulu got off of his lap and sat beside him, "it was lunch...there's a lot of noise, a lot of conversation..."

"Right, but what about Tyler. What had you heard?"

"It...it was just rumors that day..."

"Right," Stanley replied, walking back over with his coffee. "But they were later confirmed. So what did you find out?"

"That....Tyler had talked to some people....in the hospital."

"About what?"

"About....what happened at school...."

"What happened?"

"That...Monty...."

_Jensen!_

**_thud_ **

_MotherFUCKER!!!!!_

Clay closed his eyes and took a deep breath. A tear made its way down the bridge of his nose, and he reached up to wipe it away.

"Clay?"

".....Monty.....attacked him in the bathroom. And he was sexually assaulted."

"That's right, Clay," Stanley said quietly and sadly. "That's right."

 

**********

 

It had started out as just a rumor. No one really knew how it began or from where, but by mid-day, it had pretty much enveloped the school: Montgomery de la Cruz had not only physically assaulted Tyler Down, but had also orchestrated a sexual assault as well. By the end of the day, it had indeed become fact, as the presence of two police cars in front of Liberty High reinforced that knowledge. As Clay, Justin, and the Gang stood outside, they watched. And waited.

"I wasn't able to get ahold of my dad to try and find out what's going on, exactly. My guess is his parents already filed charges," Alex said.

"Man....this explains a lot. It explains pretty much everything, really," added Zach.

Justin turned to Clay. "Hey...are you all right? We don't have to be here right now, we can just head on home. Or, if you want to go to the gym?"

Clay shook his head. "No. I want to wait."

"Bro, it's fine, they'll do what they have to do and..."

"I said, NO, Justin!"

"O-okay...we can wait then."

_Dammit...didn't mean to yell at Justin again...._

"Sorry...it's just been a clusterfuck of a day."

Before Justin could say anything more, two sheriff's deputies, one of whom was Bill Standall, brought Monty out of the school, handcuffed. He locked eyes with Clay before being placed in the rear of one of the waiting police cars.

Clay started to breathe heavily, an intense look of anger came over his face. Tony noticed this. "Clay?"

_Jensen!_

**_thud_ **

Clay started to walk over to the police car, a normal pace at first, then faster.

"Shit," Tony muttered as he, Justin and Zach followed, leaving Alex behind with Jess and Sheri.

"You goddamn motherfucker!" Clay shouted. "You son of a bitch!! What, you won't be happy until you fucking _kill_ one of us?!" Clay yelled as he got closer to the car. Tony and Justin reached out and began to pull him back before a deputy intervened. "Let me go, dammit!!"

"Clay, come on...this isn't going to help anything, let's go," Tony said as Clay struggled against him.

"You fucking _BASTARD!_ I hope you rot in jail for the rest of your goddamned life!!"

"Clay, stop it! Come on," Tony tried again.

"Let...me...go!" a red faced Clay shouted. "I'll fucking kill him myself!!"

"Clay...hey, Clay...Clay!" Justin turned Clay around with some force and saw the fury in his face. "Hey...little bro..."

At hearing that, Clay stopped straining against them.

"Little bro...it's okay....he's not gonna hurt anyone ever again."

Clay's lower lip began to quiver.

"Justin?" he said quietly.

"I'm here, little bro...I'm here, you're safe."

Sheri and Jess rushed over as the two cars pulled away, Alex coming up behind as quickly as he could.

"I...I don't know...what happ....I don't...I'm sorry..." Clay started to cry as Justin and Sheri pulled him into a joint hug.

"It's okay, handsome guy....it's okay," Sheri soothed.

 

**********

 

Clay wiped his eyes and shuddered.

"Let's take a break," Stanley said. "There's a bathroom right through that other door, not the one you came in. Go splash some water on your face."

Clay nodded and got up, and walked over to the small bathroom. Closing the door behind him he turned on the sink, and using his uninjured left hand, brought some water up to his face as Stanley had suggested.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he didn't see Monty.

Only himself.

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.
> 
> That got intense.
> 
> Welcome to Chapter Thirteen, part two of "Reasons Why." I'm going to pretty much let this one speak for itself. 
> 
> Our next chapter will pick things up with the aftermath of Monty's arrest and Clay's first official date with Sheri! So it won't be *quite* as heavy as this one. As always, thank you so much for reading, Mazers (which is the official name I have given to those of you who have become fans of this work and it sounds cool...Ye Writer has spoken, excelsior!), and I'm really looking forward to your feedback and comments on this one.
> 
> Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return in "Reasons Why," part three, coming soon!


	14. Reasons Why - Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay's therapy session continues, Cyrus talks with him, a diagnosis is made, and Clay and Sheri go on their first date...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for instances of PTSD.

 

 

 

_Are you the only one_  
_Lost in the millions?_  
_Or are you my grain of sand_  
_That's blowing in the wind?_

\- from "Born to Be Yours," by Kygo and Imagine Dragons

 

 

Clay walked back into the office and sat back on the couch with a sigh.

"Feeling better?" Stanley asked.

"Yeah, a little," Clay nodded. "Not to be rude or anything, but how long are we going to be here?"

"Well, not to be rude back, but as long as I feel it necessary."

"Great," Clay muttered.

"How'd you hurt your hand?"

"Stanley..." Clay began.

"Nah, c'mon. How'd you do it?"

"I slipped in the bathroom!" Clay protested.

"Yeah...I don't think that's how it happened."

"I slipped in the bathroom...I fell forward...I caught myself on the mirror, the mirror broke."

"You caught yourself on the mirror with quite a bit of force."

"I've been working out with Justin."

Stanley smiled then shook his head. "You are in all kinds of pain and your own personal hell, and you have been for such a long time. You have _no_ idea what's going on inside of you, and you've tried to be so strong for everyone else and fix things, that you've forgotten to be strong for and fix yourself..."

"What, you diagnosed me in under an hour?" Clay interrupted.

"Clay. I diagnosed you in five minutes."

Clay sat back in stunned silence. Lulu jumped back onto the couch with him.

"Clay?"

"What...what's wrong with me?" he asked quietly.

"You have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD."

"Isn't...isn't that something for like, soldiers or whatever?"

Stanley shook his head again. "Anyone can have PTSD, Clay. I work with a gentleman whose wife has had serious medical issues over the last three years. It took a toll on him, just like everything over this last school year has taken a toll on you. What we need to do is get you to be able to talk about everything that's happened to you, and especially with Monty, without reliving it. And Clay, you _have_ been reliving it."

Clay looked down at Lulu and smiled sadly at her as he began to pet her again.

"It's not a life sentence, Clay."

"Doesn't sound like something I should put on a college application," he replied with a tiredness to his voice.

"No, probably not. Wherever you wind up going, though, I'd inform the student health services and disability center."

Clay nodded.

Stanley sat back in his chair. "Let's talk about the rest of that week."

 

 

**********

 

It took a few minutes for Clay to calm down after the two police cruisers drove off. He wasn't as upset as he had been just a few short moments before, more embarrassed than anything else.

_What the fuck...where is this coming from?_ he thought to himself. _I hate Monty as much as anyone...but...did I really say I would kill him myself? Jesus Christ..._

Justin walked Clay over to the car, his arm around his shoulders. It was, to Justin, an eerie case of _deja vu_ , as it mimicked a similar walk they had had the night at Bryce's house, except this time there was no gun involved, thankfully.

"C'mon, we can go home," Justin said softly, squeezing Clay's right shoulder.

"I...I'm okay now. It's fine. I just...I dunno what happened..." Clay said, shaking his head. "I just...snapped."

"Yeah, you did," Tony added, walking alongside. "You sure you're all right?"

Clay nodded. "I'm...better now."

Clay stopped and turned to face his friends, and saw a bunch of worried looks. "It's...really, guys. I just....when he looked at me, and when I thought of everything that's happened...I just lost it for a minute. I'm okay now."

"You did more than just lose it, man," Zach replied. "I don't think I've ever seen you that upset. You're positive you're all right?"

"Yeah...yeah, for real. It's fine."

"Hey," Sheri said as she came over and brought Clay in for a hug, "we're just worried about you, you know? We want you safe and happy. If there's something wrong, you need to tell us. Tell me."

"No, I know," Clay said as he closed his eyes, hugging Sheri back. "It's...I'm okay now, I promise." He pulled out of the hug and looked at everyone again. "I'm sorry if I worried you all....like I said, I just lost it when I saw Monty."

"Clay, it's okay to be angry and upset, trust me I know. But if you need to tell us something, we want you to. No judging here. Take it from me." Alex said.

Clay nodded. "It's....fine. I'm better. Really. Can we go to the gym, first? I...think that'll help," he asked Justin.

"Are you sure you really want to? I mean, this might not be the best time." Justin asked.

"It's not a bad idea," Tony interjected. "Maybe it'll take his mind of off things and he can cool off. Sorry, man...don't mean to talk about you like you're not here." Clay waved it off, understanding what Tony had meant.

"He's not wrong, J," Zach added.

Justin nodded. "Yeah...okay. We can go for a little while, if that's what you want to do."

"I do," Clay nodded. He took Sheri in for a hug again and kissed her. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," Sheri smiled as she run her hand through his hair quickly, causing him to close his eyes and smile. "Don't push yourself too much, though."

"I won't." Clay looked at the Gang again. "Hey...thanks for everything, guys. I mean it. Last week, today in the hall.....just now..."

"Don't worry about it, Clay," Tony said. "We got your back."

As Clay was putting his back pack in the back seat, Tony locked eyes with Justin and mouthed "keep an eye on him," and Justin nodded in agreement.

"I'm good to drive," Clay said as he held out his hand for the keys.

"You sure," Justin asked in return.

"Yeah...gotta make sure you don't fuck up my car," he grinned.

"Shut up, dumbass."

After a short drive to Planet Fitness, and getting checked in, they walked to the locker room. Unlike yesterday, they had brought workout clothes with them and needed to change. Clay sat on one of the benches and unzipped his bag, taking out running shoes and putting them on the floor in front of him, then took out his shirt, shorts, and jockstrap. The drive over had been a silent one, other than the music playing on the radio, as he didn't feel like getting into another conversation about what was going on these last few days, and thankfully Justin did not push the matter. Next to him, Justin was also getting his clothes out of a gym bag.

"Now, you're sure you want to do this. Like...for sure, sure."

"Yeah, I said I'm fine. And I liked the running yesterday, can we do that longer today?" Clay asked, taking off his shirt.

"Of course we can," Justin replied as he unbuttoned his shirt. "I'm just worried about you, you know that, right?"

"No, I do," Clay was now putting on a t-shirt. He stood up and started to undo his belt. "Hey, I'm really sorry about that. Back at school."

"Bro, quit apologizing. We get it, man, honest. I still think you need to talk to mom and dad, though."

"Bro Code."

Justin shook his head and peeled off his shirt. "Whatever." He stood up and started to take off his pants when he noticed Clay looking at him. "What?"

"Um..."

"Clay, bro...we're both guys, in a locker room full of guys. And you have _nothing_ to be ashamed of, trust me," he smirked.

 

**********

 

"Do you do that a lot?" Stanley asked.

"Do what a lot?"

"Apologize for things. Justin said to stop apologizing. Do you find yourself doing that a lot?"

"I mean...if I've done something wrong, or, like, hurt someone's feelings, yeah. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?" Clay wondered.

"Of course we should, it's normal social behavior. But if you're doing it more often, for things like....say, for waking up Justin when you can't sleep when you know that's a side effect of having a concussion, and he knows and understands...or when you're constantly reevaluating your words and actions...then it could mean something else," Stanley explained.

"Something like PTSD?"

"It's a symptom of an anxiety disorder, like PTSD. Yes."

Clay nodded, slowly understanding. "I guess....maybe I have been doing that a lot, lately."

"It's a normal reaction to what you're going through."

"These feelings suck."

"I know they do. Feelings can be painful and scary in the best of times, and what you're feeling with this is making it worse. But it won't always be like this."

 

**********

 

**Wednesday Afternoon**

The school day had, thankfully, been normal, compared to yesterday. Clay made it through classes without having a flashback of some kind, the Gang still met up with him in the halls in between, there was no difficulties in opening his locker or encounters with Bryce. Possibly it was because of Monty's arrest the day before, possibly it was because after so many things, it was just the law of averages that there needed to be a good day in there someplace, and this was the one. Either way, he wasn't complaining. He had slept decently the night before - not great, but decent, having only woken up once or twice by the image of Monty or the sound of a locker waking him up - and that had helped. So did being back in a routine of classes, turning in homework assignments, and even participating some in class discussion here or there. In short - it was a good day. Even the workout the afternoon before hadn't bothered him, as he was able to run on the treadmill for twenty minutes, work up a sweat, and tune out everything else but the sound of the music he was listening to and his own breathing. Granted, the back exercises Justin led him through were a bitch, but he had made it.

There had been some discussion that Tuesday evening at the dinner table about Monty's arrest, and the possibility that additional charges might be filed against him based on his past history, and that, like it or not, Clay may be called once more to testify in court. While he wasn't thrilled at this news, he simply nodded his head when his mother mentioned it, and tried to block the rest of the discussion out. The only cause for concern was when he and Justin were doing the dishes, and Justin had stacked some plates in a cabinet. While he wasn't careless about it, and nothing broke, it was nevertheless kind of loud.

"Hey," Clay had said, "careful with the locker."

"What?" Justin asked, confused.

Clay looked up and out the kitchen window at their backyard for a moment, his hands still in the soapy water.

"Clay?"

"The...dishes. Careful with the dishes."

Justin was about to say something when Clay quickly changed the subject. "So, I'll need your help with Friday night...where I should take Sheri and all that."

"Yeah...yeah, sure, bro."

But, that had been the evening before, and Wednesday was turning out much better. They couldn't go workout that afternoon as Justin had his NA meeting. So, Clay had dropped him off with the promise to pick him up in an hour and a half, and in the meantime he went to Monet's to hang out with Cyrus and catch up with one another.

"I still think we could've taken 'em yesterday, man," Cyrus said, sipping his hot chocolate.

Clay just shook his head and laughed. "Yeahhhh....well, if we had, like, I dunno...baseball bats or something."

"Appropriate for those assholes!"

"I guess. So, how've you been? Feels like we haven't talked in forever."

"Things are good. Got a little fucked up there when Tyler tried to...well...you know. But, other than that. Introduced dad to Lord of the Rings now that we made our way through Harry Potter. Still going to therapy every week."

Clay was about to take a drink of his iced coffee when he heard that last bit, and stopped as the cup came up to his lips.

_Cyrus...right, why didn't I think of this either?_

"Does...does that help you?"

"I mean, there are times I wish I wasn't there, ya know? Like, I'd rather be doing something else that day and I kinda dread going. But once I'm there and we talk, it feels...kinda good. I get to open up about stuff that I normally wouldn't do with other people. Overall I really don't mind it. Why do you ask?"

"Well," Clay took that drink before continuing, "I went a couple years ago. I don't think I got much out of it, to be honest."

"Gotta have an open mind, man. If you go in with the wrong attitude, then yeah, you won't get much back in return. Do...you think you need to go again?"

Clay shrugged. "Justin brought it up last week. He's being uber brother right now. I dunno, I was just wondering, really."

"Ah." Cyrus paused for a minute or two before continuing. "Soooo...not to change the subject, but can I ask you something? About 'Lex?"

"Luthor? I haven't gotten the new Superman issue yet."

"No," Cyrus laughed, "Alex. Standall."

"Oh! What about him?"

"You think he's into guys at all?"

Now, had Clay known this was the question that was coming his way, he wouldn't have been taking another drink of his iced coffee. As it was, though, he was indeed doing just that, and upon hearing said question, sputtered and choked, coughing and hoping he didn't just spray any of his drink out of his nose.

"Clay......gross, man....are you okay?"

A red faced and still coughing Clay covered his mouth could only nod and put down his drink. "Yeah, fine..." he managed to choke out in a somewhat high pitched voice. "Wasn't... _cough cough_...expecting that..."

"Sorry, dude...shoulda waited before you took a drink," Cyrus laughed again.

Clay cleared his throat and grabbed a few napkins to wipe his mouth and nose, while Cyrus took a few of his own to wipe off the table. "Do what now?" he asked.

"Do you think he's into guys?"

"I...take it you are?"

Cyrus nodded. "Yeah, man. Well...girls, too. Both. And like, I don't want to cause any shit because of the whole Jessica thing, but they don't seem to be a couple anymore. I guess I'm just wondering is all. 'Cause he's like...I dunno. Kinda cute. You know?"

"Uhhh...well, for me, personally, no I don't. But I'll take your word for it. And to answer your question....I honestly have no idea. I mean, the way he used to dress and all that and the way he had his hair last year, he did kinda give off a vibe a little, but he was really into Jess, so..." Clay could only shrug.

"Huh. Well...you think I should, like...hang out with him more or something?"

"You know, you probably want to ask Tony about this sort of thing, I don't think I'm the best person to be asking. Ask Zach, they've become really good friends."

"Zach. Now, he's _fine_ ," Cyrus grinned.

"Oh my God, Cy..."

"Hey, he is. And if I went for big jocks I'd be all over that."

"Again, I'll take your word for it."

Cyrus sat back in his chair some, swirling his hot chocolate around in his mug. "You don't....like, you're not judging me or anything, are you?"

"What? No, of course not. Why would I do that?" Clay asked with a confused look on his face. "Cy, it's totally cool with me, you're attracted to who you're attracted to. Hey, I've got a gay best friend, a total horndog for a soon to be adopted older brother, and now another good friend that just happens to be bisexual. And it makes no difference to me whatsoever, I like you all for who you are, regardless. Now, if Justin wasn't so sex obsessed, it'd probably make my life a little easier, but we can't have everything, can we?"

Cyrus shook his head and smiled. "No, I guess not. Hey, thanks man. That means a lot, it really does."

 

**********

 

**Wednesday Evening  
**

While the day had gone well, that evening after dinner had not.

First, Clay saw Monty instead of himself in the bathroom mirror one time, causing him to gasp and take several steps back.

Then, Justin was taking out the kitchen garbage, and inadvertently let the back door slam a little too hard. 

"God, I wish he wouldn't close the locker so hard," he said to his father.

"The...what?" Matt asked.

Clay blinked several times. "The...door. The back door," he said quietly as he walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs to his room. He walked around the room a few times, trying to clear his head, and finally sat on the floor, his back up against his bed.

And he started to cry.

He cried for Tyler, for himself, for anyone who had ever been bullied or hurt by Monty, and all he could wonder....was why? Why did this keep happening?

"Hey, Clay?" Justin called from downstairs. "You gonna help me with that English paper?"

Clay wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt and cleared his throat.

"Yeah...yeah, be right down," he called back.

 

**********

 

**Friday Afternoon, 5:15pm**

Thursday had been all right. Not a great day, not quite good, and yet not totally horrible either. There had been times Clay seemed distracted, almost daydreaming, definitely lost in his own head. Each time Justin or one of the Gang brought that up, he had waved it off, saying that he was thinking about and planning for his first official date with Sheri the next night. If he had really told them that he was thinking about Monty and lockers, they would just get all worried, and Justin would freak out. So, he reasoned to himself, better to bottle it up and deal with it himself than open all of that.

Friday's school day had passed in very much the same manner, but this time he really _was_ thinking about and planning that big date. All he had told Sheri was that he was going to take her out to dinner, and that they could plan the rest of their evening together as they ate, as he wanted her input and didn't want to make her see a movie or do something that she wouldn't be too thrilled about doing. He wanted it to be special, and perfect, that was all he had told her.

The reality was, he was having a panic attack.

He had shaved and showered and was now about to change clothes for the third time.

"These socks...I don't think they match the belt, do you?" he asked Justin.

"Dude...she's not going to care about your socks," Justin replied from the couch, somewhat amused.

Clay looked at himself in the mirror again, looking up and down the choice of a light blue button up and khaki pants. "You think I should wear a tie?"

_Shit, no wonder you've never gotten laid,_ Justin thought to himself. "No...no tie, man. You look good, don't worry about it. Geez, you'd swear you've never been on a date before."

Clay turned and looked at Justin. "Ummm."

Justin's eyes went wide. "Oh...oh, shit...you...you really haven't, have you?"

Clay shook his head. "I mean...Skye and I...we just sorta happened? I don't think we ever, like...officially had a date. Not like this. And...I'm kinda freaking out, here."

"Crap...okay, look. Just relax, take it easy. You've known Sheri forever, and you two are really into each other. Just let things flow, don't stress about it, and just be you, man. It's gonna be fine, I promise."

"You really think so?" Clay asked quietly.

"Bro...she _likes_ you. Only thing that would fuck it up is if you, like.....I dunno....puke on her or something. And please, try not to do that."

"Well. That thought's gonna fester, now."

Justin stood up, laughing, and came up behind Clay as he looked at himself in the mirror, placing a hand on his left shoulder. "You look fine, you smell good. You have nothing to worry about. And hey, I know I give you shit sometimes, but I'm gonna be totally serious now. Clay, you two are meant for one another. You're so happy when you're around her, you know? I _want_ you to be happy, you deserve that. And Sheri? She lights up when she sees you. You're gonna have a great time tonight....relax, and have fun. Okay?"

Clay nodded and gave his half smile. "Thanks, big bro."

"You're welcome, little bro," Justin said, bringing up his other hand and squeezing both of Clay's shoulders affectionately.

Clay then turned around, holding his arms out. "You're positive this looks right?"

"Yeah, it's fine, I swear. Uhh. Except for one thing."

"What? Oh my God, what?" A panicked look came over Clay's face.

"Are you....like...freeballing again?"

"No, why?" Clay looked down and noticed a rather sizeable bulge nestled against his left leg. He looked up at Justin, horrified. "Holy fuck, I forgot to put on underwear...." He raced over to the dresser and pulled out a pair and began to walk out of the room towards the bathroom.

"And you're not, like...hard, right now?" Justin asked.

"NO!" Clay said as he rushed down the hall.

Justin shook his head again and began to talk to himself. "How the fuck has he _never_ gotten laid? If I was hung like that....."

 

**5:59pm**

 

Clay walked up to the apartment door one minute early. He had checked and rechecked his hair, shirt, shoelaces, pants, belt, hair, and breath about three times in the car before taking a deep breath and getting out to pick up Sheri. It was now or never. He knocked on the door and waited, and after a minute, Mrs. Holland opened it up and gave him a warm smile.

"Clay, it's so nice to see you again! Come on in," she stepped aside, allowing him to do so.

"Thanks, Mrs. Holland...it's good to see you, too." He saw Sheri waiting for him just past the entryway with a smile of her own.

"Hi Clay," she said in greeting.

"Umm...hi. Wow...you look...oh wow....you look so pretty." She was wearing a light blue dress, slightly matching the color of Clay's shirt, and a grey cardigan over it. "Wow," he said again.

"Well, thank you...and don't you look handsome as always."

Clay blushed and remembered that he had a hand behind his back. "Oh! So...it turns out that my mom has rose bushes in that flower bed, and she let me have these. This is for you," he said, bringing his arm around and handed Sheri a single pink rose. "And, this is for you, Mrs. Holland," he turned to Sheri's mother and gave her one as well.

"You are just too sweet! Oh my goodness...Sheri, you better keep this boy," she said, impressed.

"Mom," Sheri laughed a little. "This really is sweet, Clay. Thank you so much."

"All right you two, get out of here and have a good time. Clay, curfew at 11:30."

"Yes, ma'am, I won't miss it, I promise." Clay nodded solemnly.

"Ma'am? Sheri, really...marry this boy," her mother chuckled.

Clay and Sheri left the apartment and walked down the stairs, Sheri smelling her rose as Clay held her hand. "Hey," she said. "Hang on a second."

"What...is something wrong?" Clay asked, a little confused. They were in one the stairwell and had already gone down one flight, just one more to go before getting to the parking lot.

"You forgot something," Sheri said.

"I...I did?"

_Is my fly undone? My hair isn't sticking up, is it? I really did put on underwear....I did, didn't I?_ Clay's mind was racing as he mentally checked off everything. _  
_

"Mhmm," Sheri said, wrapping her arms around Clay's neck and smiling.

"Oh!" Clay smiled back and kissed her, sighing into her mouth as she began to play with the back of his hair, running her fingers through it tenderly, then moaned softly as their tongues made contact. As they broke the kiss, he rubbed his nose up against hers gently, causing them both to giggle. "Hi," he said quietly.

"Hi," she said back, just as quietly.

Clay gave her one last quick kiss before they continued to walk down to the car, and Clay, ever the perfect gentleman, opened the door for Sheri and waited until she was situated before closing it and trotting around to the driver's side. He took her to a small, family owned Italian restaurant on their main street, just a few blocks away from the movie theater and Monet's, figuring that this would be better than one of the fast casual chains or something out of his price range like the local seafood place. While crowded, it wasn't too overly loud, the food was good, and the price was just right for a high school junior, nothing too outrageous on the menu. In short, it was perfect for a first date. They talked some more about the upcoming Prom, and Clay's need to be fitted for a tuxedo, and what color dress Sheri would wear, so that his bow tie would match. Then it was time for dessert.

"So, how're you feeling? We were all worried about you after Tuesday," Sheri said before taking a bite of cheesecake.

Clay shrugged before taking a bite of his own. "I mean...I'm okay, I guess. I didn't mean to flip out like that. I'm still having a little trouble sleeping and I get a little headache every once and awhile, but nothing I can't handle." Just like with Justin, he hated lying like this to her, but this was not the conversation he was wanting to have this evening. The very last thing he wanted was to talk about Monty and the sound of lockers. Eventually....maybe. But tonight was not that time at all.

"Well, that's good though, I mean about the headaches, that they're not bad or anything."

"Nah...worst was that week I was home, now they're just, like...annoying."

The bill having been paid, and Clay counting himself lucky that he had been prudent with his money while working at the theater, he reached over and placed his hand over Sheri's on top of the table. "Sooo...would you believe me when I tell you that I've never done this before? Like...go on a real date?"

Sheri gave Clay a look signaling disbelief. "You're kidding."

"Nope. You're my first one. Skye and I...we never really did the whole date thing, exactly. I mean, she came over for dinner once, but that....well, it didn't go well, let's just say that. Anyway. So, yeah...this is my first official date. You, Miss Holland, have made history."

"Well," she leaned over and pecked Clay's cheek, "I'm glad I did. And for the record, you're doing great. So, what's next?"

While he had originally planned to simply let the evening flow and take whatever direction, Clay suggested that they walk around Main Street and the square for a little while and kill some time. One of the local parks was hosting a Shakespeare in the Park evening, and a local theater company was putting on a performance of "As You Like It." Clay had brought along a blanket for them to sit on while they watched, and they made a quick stop at his car to retrieve it from the trunk.

As they watched the antics of Touchstone and Rosalind, Duke Senior and Celia, Clay lay on his back, propped up some on his elbows. Sheri was next to him, legs tucked under her, playing with his hair, which Clay found he really, really loved. It relaxed him and made him happy.

In short, the evening was pretty much a picture-perfect date. They walked around the park a bit after the play, ducking behind a large tree at one point to make out for several minutes. As promised, he returned Sheri home in plenty of time to make her curfew, and a repeat make out session occurred in the stairwell, as it had done to begin their time together.

"I had a really good time tonight," Sheri said outside her apartment, sniffing her rose and smiling.

"Me too. Thank you." Clay smiled back.

"For what?"

"For going out with me," Clay leaned in and kissed her one last time.

"Night, Clay. Text me when you get home so I know you made it safe."

"I will. And I'll call you tomorrow. Night."

Clay arrived home and texted, as promised, getting one last goodnight from Sheri in the process. Closing the front door quietly behind him and locking it, he was about to go upstairs when he noticed that in the living room, Justin had fallen asleep on the couch. Smirking, he came over and turned off the television, and nudged his shoulder.

"Hey....hey, shithead. C'mon, let's go to bed." Clay whispered.

Justin stirred awake. "Hmm? Oh, hey...how'd it go?" he asked as he stretched.

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts," Clay recited as he helped Justin up into a sitting position.

"....what the fuck are you talking about?" Justin asked bewildered.

"It went great, bro. C'mon, let's get upstairs and I'll tell you all about it. Did you really wait up for me?"

Justin nodded and yawned. "Yep. Or tried to, anyway. Mom and dad crashed out a little while ago but I wanted to make sure you got home okay."

Impulsively, Clay hugged Justin.

"Whoa...whoa, okay....everything all right?"

"Yep! Everything is perfect. Love you, bro."

"Love you too, dumbass...."

 

**********

 

"I'm glad to hear it went well. Have you gone out with her since?" Stanley asked.

Clay nodded and smiled. "Yeah, we had a weeknight date the next week. Like, a coffee date, y'know?"

"Okay, good. That's really good. What happened three days ago, though?"

Clay got quiet again, and the color drained from his face.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, and thanks for reading Chapter Fourteen of Maze, you Mazers out there!
> 
> I think this is my longest chapter yet, and was so much fun to write. So we've got some big things a-cooking here, don't we? 
> 
> While it does appear that I've left the Cyrus-Alex thing dangling some, we'll see the ultimate resolution to that in due time, never fear, and I'm thinking of some one-shots featuring those two and how things develop! We shall see!
> 
> Justin reassuring Clay while looking in the mirror is an homage to the scene in S2 where Clay comes over and offers to help him with his tie the morning of the trial, down to the hand on the shoulder.
> 
> Clay and Sheri do like their snugglebunnies, don't they??
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! I appreciate the kudos so much and I look forward to your comments and feedback! Stay tuned, as Justin and Clay and the conclusion of "Reasons Why" will be coming soon!


	15. Reasons Why - Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay's initial therapy session concludes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for passing references to S1, particularly suicide and rape, instances of PTSD, and an act of self-harm. Also, get the tissues.
> 
> Go listen to this during the final part of the chapter if you really want a good cry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4EvsN9RuJ0

 

 

 

 

_I bruise you_  
_You bruise me_  
_We both bruise too easily_  
_Too easily to let it show_  
_I love you and that's all I know_

\- from "All I Know," by Art Garfunkel

 

The next several days continued apace, and with the end of the school year approaching, there was an added level of intensity to coursework at Liberty High, in addition to the typical anticipation of the upcoming end of year events, like Prom, and the summer break. For a select group of students, this break was going to be most welcome, as it would put a coda on what was quite possibly the most hectic of their lives. Ever since the death of Jeff Atkins, it had been one awful thing after the other: the suicide of Hannah Baker, the attempted suicide of Alex Standall, the leak of Hannah's tapes, a trial in which many of them were called to testify and have aspects of their lives laid bare for all to witness, rape charges, school vandalism, an averted school shooting, the institutionalization of Tyler Down and (briefly) Skye Miller, numerous physical assaults and the arrest of Montgomery de la Cruz.

In short, it was, as Justin Foley put it, one fucking thing after the other.

So, the end was near, mercifully, and while Justin would have to take some summer classes in order to make up credits that he lost during his time in juvenile detention, it wouldn't possibly be as chaotic as the last several months had been. He'd even have some company, as Sheri Holland would be taking classes as well.

For Clay Jensen, the end couldn't come fast enough, as he seemed to be at the epicenter, willingly or not, of just about everything that had happened this junior year, up to and including his own assault at the hands of Monty. And while he probably would have put it a bit more eloquently than Justin, he had to agree with his soon to be adopted brother wholeheartedly this time: it was indeed, one thing after the other. But, summer was in front of him, and the promise of lazy days tempered by the need for a new part-time job, a new brother and a room for him that needed to be fixed up, and it looked like, miracle of miracles, he was dating someone that he _really_ liked, and even more miraculous, _really_ liked him back. When he was around her, all his cares and troubles seemed to just get boxed up and put away, on the top shelf of a closet in the deep recesses of his mind. He knew that box was there, but as long as he was with Sheri, that closet door stayed closed, and there was a wall around it. He could feel truly free, truly happy, truly _alive_ for what seemed to be the first time in a very, very long time.

Monty was still in his head, as was the sound of a locker being closed, or worse the sound of his head being slammed into one, and this manifested itself at times over the course of the week after his first official date with Sheri.

Like the time he and the Gang were walking into school one morning, and the jazz ensemble was playing near the entrance.

"Why are they doing that?" he asked Tony as they walked past. "Those lockers are way too loud for this early in the morning."

"The what's too loud?" Tony replied, confused.

"I mean...the music...the music is way too loud...."

Or, the time Justin found him in their room one afternoon, sitting on the floor, back against the bed.

"Hey man, get changed and we'll head for the gym."

Clay sat there and stared straight ahead, saying nothing.

"Clay?"

Justin might not as well have even been in the room. "Hey, Clay?" he tried again.

"Huh? Oh...yeah, sorry."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, fine," Clay said, getting to his feet. "Sorry...guess I was...I dunno, daydreaming or something...."

"Got Sheri on your mind?"

"Yeah," Clay smiled, shrugging it off.

The gym helped some, especially the running on the treadmill. He still wasn't altogether thrilled with the weightlifting, but it made Justin happy that they were going together, and as a result, that made Clay happy. Not as much as when he was with Sheri, but he was glad they had something new to bond over, even if he came back feeling sore most times.

But as the week went on, he found himself becoming more and more withdrawn, save for those times with Sheri and at the gym. Matt and Lainie noticed that family dinners were becoming a repeat of a short time ago, with Clay picking at his food and not saying very much, and that Justin was giving him worried looks every so often. At least once, Matt had heard Clay make a sound in the bathroom as if he had been startled by something. When he asked his son about it, Clay claimed that he had seen a spider, nothing more, and that there was nothing to worry about. There were times his hands would shake, and he would cross his arms when that happened, hiding them in his armpits. He startled easily, especially if his back was to someone and they either touched his shoulder or called his name.

Nighttime was the worst, though. He slept, though not well, and more often than not it took him some time to fall asleep. Even then, it would be restless, and he would wake up every so often, and sit on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. He didn't want to keep waking up Justin, feeling that it wasn't fair to make someone else suffer through this. One of them should get a good night's rest, he reasoned. True, the ASMR video of the rain helped, but even that was losing its potency.

 

**********

 

"Were you aware at this point that your friends and your family were worried about you? That they began to notice changes in you?" Stanley asked.

"I...I mean, I guess so," Clay answered, looking down at and petting Lulu.

"So, thinking back, you noticed these things as well."

Clay nodded.

"And you didn't want to tell anyone."

Clay shook his head.

"Only Justin knew a little bit of it, and you essentially swore him to secrecy."

Clay nodded again.

"Clay...you've got all of this bottled up inside of you..."

"I...I can't make it stop...I tried so hard to make it stop..." Clay said, barely above a whisper.

"I know, and you couldn't. And that's why you feel sick inside. What happened three days ago?"

Clay bit his lower lip.

"Clay?"

"I..I hate feeling like this...this feels so bad..." he whimpered.

"I know it does, Clay."

"I wanted to fix myself. I couldn't fix anyone else. Not Hannah, not Alex, not Jeff, not Skye....I thought I could fix myself...and I couldn't even do that." Clay reached up and wiped away tears that were forming again.

"Clay. You _are_ fixing yourself, that's why you're here. You can't be the person that always rushes in and saves the day, you need to take care of yourself first. And unless you have a cape on under those clothes I don't know about..." Stanley said gently, and with a smile.

Clay laughed a little, wiping away a few more tears.

"Clay. Tell me what happened three days ago."

"I...had a fight. With Justin."

Stanley nodded. "And what was the fight about."

"My car. There was an accident."

 

**********

 

"We out here drippin' in finesse...it don't make no sense..."

Justin sang along to Bruno Mars, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel in time with the beat. Lainie had forgotten to pick up a few things at the grocery store, and he volunteered to go back and pick them up. As he sat at the red light, bobbing his head along with the music, he looked up in the rear view mirror and saw another car coming up behind him.

Quickly.

And it didn't look to be slowing down.

"Aw shit...this is gonna suck..." he said to himself, gripping onto the wheel, and hearing the screeching of tires.

 

**********

 

"Was Justin hurt?" Stanley asked.

"No," Clay shook his head.

"Well, thank God for that. What happened next?"

 

**********

 

Justin walked into the kitchen, ashen and shaky.

"Hey...what's wrong kid? You look like you've seen a ghost," Matt asked.

"I....it's...oh man...I'm so sorry, it wasn't my fault..."

"What wasn't your fault, honey? What happened?" Lainie asked, getting to her feet.

"It...it's not that bad, really....I mean, I could drive home, and I got insurance and contact information and all that...."

Now, Matt got up from his chair as well. Clay, who had been sitting with his parents, lifted his head and looked at Justin, wide eyed.

"What? What happened?" he asked, as he also got up, quickly.

"Clay...man...I'm so sorry, I was sitting at a light, and I got rear ended..."

"What?" Clay asked quietly.

"It wasn't my fault, I swear," Justin looked at each of them in turn. "I...I wasn't even moving, and this guy, he didn't slow down in time..."

Clay raced out of the room, brushing past Justin who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there.

"Hey...hey, Justin. It's all right. The important thing is that you didn't get hurt. Cars can be fixed. How bad is it?" Matt asked, coming over and putting a arm around Justin.

"The bumper is all messed up...and one of the taillights is busted. The paint is scratched. Mom, dad...I'm really, really sorry...." Justin said.

"Honey, it's okay, it was an accident. And it wasn't even your fault. You said you got the information from the other driver? The insurance?" Lainie asked, also coming over to provide some comfort.

As Justin was about to answer, Clay came back into the house, slamming the front door behind him. He looked at Justin with the same fury that matched the Tuesday afternoon when Monty was arrested and he was breathing heavily.

"You fucked up my car," he said through gritted teeth.

"Clay, I'm so sorry...."

"You fucked up...my car."

"It wasn't my fault, I swear..."

"Oh, of _course_ it wasn't. We can just add that to the list of things that's 'not your fault,' can't we?" Clay's voice was rising.

"Clay, honey," Lainie started.

"I brought you into my home...MY home! I've done everything I can to fucking help you! I've gotten the shit beaten out of me because of _you_. Hannah died because of _you._ Jess was raped because of _you_. I've been puked on, almost fucking shot, and who always seems to be at the center of it all? Fucking YOU!! And all I asked, the ONLY GODDAMN THING I asked in return, is that you _don't fuck up my car_!!" Clay was now red in the face and yelling.

"Clay....Clay that's not fair..." Justin plead. "Look, I know you're upset, and that you're still seeing Monty..."

"Wait, what?" Matt asked.

"Oh, and now you tell them _that_ after I begged you not to! Jesus!"

Lainie looked back and forth between them. "Clay, you need to calm down, right now!"

"Oh, of course! Let's take the side of the junkie why don't we?!"

Justin looked like he'd been stabbed in the heart. In a sense he had been.

"Clay, that's enough!" Matt yelled.

"NO! No, it's NOT enough! I've had it! I've had it with the locker, I've had it with ALL the bullshit!!" he shouted, waving his hands around before bringing his arms down and balling his fists tightly.

The room went silent, save for the sound of Clay's breathing. After a moment or two, he unclenched his fists, and panting heavily, brought his hands up to his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Clay," Lainie began, quieter than before.

Clay just shook his head, turned, and ran up the stairs.

They stood in shocked silence for several minutes, not even flinching when they heard the door to the bathroom slam shut.

Finally, Matt wiped his mouth and exhaled. "Okay. Okay. We're going to call someone. I've got a colleague that might be able to help."

Lainie nodded and turned Justin around so he faced her.

"Justin. Honey. You know he didn't mean any of that. He's sick."

Justin looked utterly destroyed. "I...he made me promise not to tell you. He...he like, sees Monty sometimes, and...he gets angry. But not like this, this is the worst. I...I promised him I wouldn't say anything, I know I should have, I _wanted_ to. I'm so, so sorry..."

"Justin, I don't think he was fully conscious right now," Matt said.

They would have continued, and Justin was about to apologize again.

But they heard Clay scream.

And the sound of glass breaking.

 

**********

 

"What happened when you went upstairs? How did you hurt your hand," Stanley asked as he rolled up his shirt sleeves.

"He hates me now," Clay said softly.

"No. No, Clay, he doesn't."

Clay shook his head. "He does...he does...he's been sleeping in my dad's den at home...on this little couch...he won't...he hasn't been in our room...."

"Clay..."

"And I get so scared when he's not in there at night." Clay sounded like a little boy again.

"Clay, brothers fight. And he understands, he knows you're not well right now."

"I said...horrible things to him..." Clay looked up at Stanley. "I...I didn't mean it, I swear I didn't mean any of it."

"I know you didn't, and he knows it, too. Clay. How did you hurt your hand."

Clay thought for a moment. "I...I couldn't make it stop..."

"No, you couldn't. What happened when you went upstairs, in the bathroom."

"I went to the bathroom....the floor was wet..."

"Okay," Stanley said as he got up and walked over to the couch.

"....I slipped on the floor..."

"Lulu, down," Stanley said, and the Corgi obediently complied. He sat down next to Clay and looked at him as Clay stared straight ahead.

"....I fell forward...."

"Clay, you're lying."

"...I caught myself on the mirror...the mirror broke."

"I'm the guy you tell, Clay. You've bottled it all up, but you don't have to anymore."

"I..."

"Clay..."

"I...I'm not trying to be difficult..."

"Clay, I don't think you are."

"I...I slipped..."

"Clay! Clay. How did you cut your hand?"

 

**********

 

Clay went into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

_How could I have said those things..._

He paced back and forth, holding his head in his hands.

_That was...oh my God...what did I just do?_

His pace quickened, as did his breathing.

_He's going to want to run away again! No no no no no..._

A choked cry escaped his throat.

_This is all my fault it's all my fault I can't make anything right I can't fix it_

He stopped to look at himself in the mirror.

Monty was staring back.

"You. You son of a bitch. Get that goddamn smug look off of your face," Clay said to his own reflection, while still seeing Monty.

"I said get that look off of your face!"

_He won't stop make it stop make it stop make it stop_

Taking a step back, and breathing even heavier now, Clay balled up his right hand into a fist, and screamed.

And punched his reflection with all the force he could muster.

And the mirror broke.

He stumbled back, and looked down at his bleeding fingers.

He heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs.

He looked at the shattered mirror, and then back down at the top of his hand, which was also bleeding.

"Clay!" his father was now pounding on the door.

He looked at his hand in disbelief.

"Clay, what happened?" Justin shouted.

 

**********

 

"Okay, then."

"Okay then?" Clay asked.

Stanley nodded. "That's that." He stood up from the couch and walked over to his desk. "I'm going to prescribe something for anxiety and something for depression. Small dosages at first, and if we have to bump them up then we will."

"Wait...that's it?"

"Well, for now. I'm going to talk to your mom and dad and we're going to set up a regular schedule, twice a week. This day and time work for you in general?"

"Yeah...but...I punched a mirror."

"Yeah. Stop doing that, Clay. I want to commend you for not hurting anyone else or yourself, too badly, but all the same...stop doing that."

"Hang on. What if tomorrow I find out Monty beat someone else up at school?"

"That's not gonna happen. Well, considering this Montgomery character and the fact that he's pretty much a sociopath I wouldn't put it past him. But that's not what actually caused all of this."

"It wasn't?" Clay was now confused as he got to his feet.

"Nope. Clay, you've been cooking for months, all the way back to Hannah and the tapes. What Monty did to you was just the straw that broke the camel's back. That and one other thing." Stanley explained.

"What's the other thing?"

Stanley had rolled down his sleeves after writing out two prescriptions. "There's one thing that you had almost total control over in your life, one thing you could make sure nothing would happen to. You kept telling Justin not to fuck up...."

"....my car." Clay finished and nodded, understanding.

"That's right."

"Is...do you really think Justin will forgive me?"

"Yeah, I do. Like I said, brothers fight. But, brothers also make up. That's what they do."

Clay nodded again. "Will it....always be like this?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because, Clay. We start to get better." Stanley smiled. "I'm gonna talk to your mom and dad."

"Okay. Will....is Lulu going to come with you next time?"

"Lulu always comes with me. She's a therapy dog."

"Oh! Okay." Clay walked over to Lulu's bed. Seeing him approach, she sat up and wiggled her rear happily. He knelt down and gave her a few last scratches. "Bye, sweetie," he whispered to her.

"Ready?" Stanley asked.

"Yeah." Clay got up and walked to the door. "Hey, Stanley? Thanks."

"I'll see you in a couple of days, Clay," he replied, patting Clay's back.

He opened the door and led Clay out. Waiting for them were Matt, Lainie, and Justin. But, they had been joined by several others. As they saw Clay emerge from the inner office, Tony, Caleb, Alex, Zach, Ryan, Courtney, Jess, Sheri, Scott and Cyrus all got to their feet along with the Jensens.

Justin remained in his seat.

"Oh....um. Hi...guys," Clay said quietly.

Clay walked over to his parents. "Mom...dad....I...I punched the mirror," he said, ashamed. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry for everything. Keeping this from you, yelling like that...I apologize," he said, looking down at the floor.

"Honey," Lainie said, bringing him in for a hug. "We just want you to get better. It's just a mirror."

"I...I can still take Sheri to the Prom? Please?" he asked quietly.

Matt looked up at Stanley, who nodded his assent.

"Of course you can, Clay." Matt then took his son in for a hug of his own, something he didn't do often enough, but now resolved to correct.

"Matt? Lainie?" Stanley called them over. "So, I think twice a week for now," he began to explain, his voice trailing off as they walked into his office together.

Clay looked at the Gang.

"I'm...wow, this is difficult. I'm so sorry. I really am. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of myself."

"Clay," Tony said, walking up to him. "Your mom said it for all of us. We just want you to get better. And you're going to get better. We'll all help."

Head nods from the Gang indicated that Tony was correct. Sheri came up to Clay and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're getting help, handsome guy," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

Clay smiled at her and pulled out of the hug, and walked through them to where Justin was sitting.

"Justin?"

He looked up Clay, sadly.

"J-Justin....I'm so, so sorry. I...I didn't mean any of those things I said....I swear to God, I didn't."

Justin stood up.

"I...I know you were only trying to help...all this time..." Clay was crying now. "And...and I don't...please don't...please don't hate me...I'm _so_ sorry, I didn't mean any of it...I just...I just don't want you...to hate me..."

Justin pulled Clay to him and hugged him tightly. "I could never hate you, little brother," he said. "I love you too much for that. And I need you. Who else is gonna stop me from messing up?"

"Will...will you...come back to our room...?" Clay sobbed.

"Of course I will."

"O-okay..."

"I love you, dumbass. Very, very much."

"I..I love you too...shithead...big brother..."

The rest of the Gang came in close, and joined in the hug. And as Clay cried on Justin's shoulder, and he felt the love and support and care of his friends, he realized that maybe he didn't have to do this all by himself. Maybe he didn't have to keep things bottled up. Maybe he was the luckiest one in the room.

Because he knew he was loved. And for today, that was all he really knew. And it was enough.

 

 

 

_When the singer's gone_  
_Let the song go on_  
_It's a fine line between the darkness and the dawn_  
_They say in the darkest night, there's a light beyond_

_But the ending always comes at last_  
_Endings always come too fast_  
_They come too fast_  
_But they pass too slow_  
_I love you and that's all I know_

 

\- from "All I Know," by Art Garfunkel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me catch my breath again.
> 
> Welcome back, and thank you for reading the conclusion of the "Reasons Why" chapters. I think this one, also, speaks for itself. As before, I really look forward to your comments and feedback.
> 
> While this four-part series of chapters is over, Maze most certainly is not! I think we need something warm and fuzzy next time. So, as always, thank you for reading, and stay tuned! Clay and Justin will return in our next chapter, coming soon!


	16. Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay and Justin share a new activity....

  

_'Cause you're going home, you're running free_  
_As only you would be if you never owed them anything_  
_And now you've found your way out_  
_In the trust you've seen your path on home_

-from "The Running Free," by Coheed and Cambria

 

Down the street they ran that late afternoon, headphones in, music filling their ears and assisting in keeping their pace. The late afternoon sun bore down on them as this spring was swiftly approaching summer, and while the temperature was still pleasant, that sunshine plus their activity had caused them to work up a good sweat, soaking through the gray t-shirt of the teenager with the still bandaged hand, and the white tank top of his companion. They had already made it to Eisenhower Park and circled it once, and were now making their way through the tree lined blocks of the neighborhoods that led back to their home.

Every so often, Clay would slow up just a bit, and sensing this, Justin would automatically slow down, allowing him to regulate his breathing and pace. He'd look over after a couple of minutes and get a quick nod back from Clay, and that would lead to their stride picking back up. This was the third day in a row they had taken this run in lieu of going to the gym, seeing as how Clay's injured hand would prevent him from lifting weights for a few more weeks. Once his stitches came out and he was given the all-clear by Dr. Ross, he could resume that. Fortunately, he didn't inflict any kind of nerve damage, so that was something to be thankful for.

The running was actually Clay's suggestion. He had taken semi-regular runs through the streets when he wasn't riding his bike everywhere, in a time before tapes and concussions and a PTSD diagnosis, and going to the gym and running on the treadmill had only reminded him how much he had missed it. While he wasn't quite the same caliber of athlete that Justin was, he could still hold his own with running, and it felt good. It took little to no convincing of their parents to allow them to do this, as they agreed that the physical activity was not only good for him, but would also serve a few other purposes. For one thing, their own research, backed up by Stanley Keyworth, showed that running in combination with therapy actually helped reduce the symptoms of PTSD by boosting a certain protein in the brain; that protein helped the brain repair itself. So, as far as they were concerned, the more running the better. Another thing this did was help repair the relationship between Clay and Justin, although no repairs were really needed. True, he had apologized, and profusely, and Justin accepted it and understood and held no grudge, but Matt and Lainie also knew that Clay's anxiety also meant there was a certain amount of doubt lingering in the back of his mind. It gave them something to share and bond over.

So, when Clay tentatively brought up the idea to their mom a week after his initial therapy session, Lainie was immediately supportive. It was another tool he could utilize to heal, he'd been taking his new medications without any kind of protest or delay, and he had started to be more open if he felt something was bothering him. It wasn't that everything was back to normal overnight, but he was getting there. One of the first big breakthroughs at home was on the second evening after the meeting with Stanley, when Justin was again taking out the trash and again inadvertently let the back door close behind him a bit too hard. Clay had flinched, and shut his eyes, but immediately took a couple of deep breaths.

"Clay?" Matt had asked.

Clay opened his eyes. "Yeah...it's okay." Justin came back inside. "Hey...bro? Could you be more careful with the doors? Like...not let them slam behind you?"

"Oh! Oh, shi...ooooot. Yeah, sure! My bad, man...sorry!" Justin said.

"Cool...thanks." Clay turned to his parents and saw a look on their faces that combined shock and relief. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing!" Matt replied. "That was...wow, you handled that really well, kiddo."

Clay shrugged and gave his father a shit-eating grin. "I'm good, what can I say?"

If Clay wanted to run with Justin, then they were going to let him, and an impromptu shopping trip for a better pair of running shoes and a new pair of shorts was made.

Clay took his time in choosing the apparel. "I think these. Justin wears these," he said, holding up a pair of Adidas. "He seems to like them the best. Hmmm. I don't want to get the same color as him though....maybe the black ones since he wears blue."

"What's wrong with blue?" Lainie asked.

"Nothing, I just don't want us to look like twins," Clay said. "Hey, I still have enough money from working at the theater...would it be okay if I split the cost of a pair for him with you? He could use new ones, too...his are getting kinda ratty around the legs."

Lainie knew that this was partially because of Clay's anxiety, but more than that, he tended to do these little things when it came to Justin as it was even before the concussion. Go out for food? Grab some for Justin also. Comic shop run? Ask if Justin wanted to come along, and if not, did he need anything from anywhere. Meeting up with the Gang? Yeah, Justin was going to be invited more times than not.

"How about I get these today and you save your money for the Prom. When you get a new job this summer you can pay me back."

"Really? Okay, cool! Thanks, mom," Clay smiled.

And so, they ran.

As they turned the corner onto their street, they looked at each other and grinned before breaking out into a sprint. Justin had started it the previous day, tapping Clay's arm as they turned that corner. Clay looked at him and pulled one of his earbuds out to hear.

"First one home gets to shower first!" Justin had said before breaking out into a sprint.

"Fuck!" Clay said, putting the earbud back in and racing to catch up. Or, attempting to. Needless to say, he had to wait to take a shower.

And Justin liked taking long showers.

That was something the Jensens realized quickly, and some gentle probing revealed that it was due to the fact that in many of his previous circumstances with his mother and that month's boyfriend, there hadn't always been hot water, due to bills not being paid or the condition of their living arrangement. Clay had basically figured it out that morning in the bathroom when he had to cover up Justin's presence from his father, and why it was that Justin was taking so long. A good, hot shower was a luxury. So, if he took a long shower, then so be it. Granted, he didn't like sitting around in sweaty running clothes and waiting, but he was all right with his brother taking his time. He'd just have to sprint that much faster.

That had been yesterday. Today though, two teenagers made it to the front porch at basically the same time. As they stood outside the front door catching their breath, and Lainie listened from just inside through the screen door as she walked into the kitchen, she realized that life was gradually getting back to normal.

"I get the shower first again!"

"No you don't! I totally got my foot on the step before you did!"

"Yeah, but not the last step! I got on the porch first!" Justin said grinning.

"Dude, no way! It's whomever gets home first, I got my foot on the step first, I get to shower first!"

"Uh uh...no you didn't!" Justin took his brother in for a headlock. Playfully, and not too rough, so as not to trigger anything in Clay. As it turned out, the only thing he triggered was a typical Clay reaction.

"Oh my God, Justin...gross! Dude, your pit is like a swamp! Go...go shower!"

Justin laughed and let Clay go, then opened the screen door.

"We're back mom," he said as they walked inside.

Lainie stepped out from the kitchen, two bottles of Gatorade in her hands, and smiled at her sweaty and out of breath boys. "How was it today?" she asked, handing them over.

"Great! Clay only slowed up a couple of times, he's getting a lot better. Bro, why don't you try out for cross country next year?" Justin said, twisting open his bottle and taking a long drink.

"Hi mom...well, a) Justin cheats....and b) I don't know about that....cross country? Really?" Clay opened his and took a swig. While Justin preferred the "Glacier Freeze" flavor, he came to like the "Citrus Cooler."

"Why not?" Justin said as he put the bottle down for a second and took off his tank. "You're good at this! And it doesn't involve anything with a ball or whatever. I bet you'd make the team easy."

"He's not wrong, Clay," Lainie said. "You always did like running. I'm surprised you never thought of it."

"Huh. Well...let me think about it." Clay said, wiping sweat off his forehead, being careful with his injured hand as he did so. "But, Justin still cheats."

"Do not!" Justin laughed, throwing the tank at his brother.

"Eugh, gross!" Clay said catching it before it could hit his face.

"Get cleaned up, boys. Your father will be home in a little bit, and we're going to do pizza tonight. Clay, why don't you ask Sheri if she'd like to join us." Lainie said, taking the sweaty shirt from Clay.

"Really? Like....for real?"

Lainie nodded. "I don't see why not. Yes, it's a Thursday and still a school night, but you've had a really good week."

"Okay....cool," Clay nodded. Meanwhile, Justin was already upstairs and the shower was running. "Wait...how did he....when did he get up there?" Clay asked, confused.

"Maybe he really did win," Lainie shrugged and smiled as she walked off towards the laundry room.

As she heard the sound of Clay running up the stairs and saying something about "cheating," Lainie reflected back on the last several days. There was a long way to go with Clay, and it wouldn't always be this easy in the days ahead. She knew that there would be times he would struggle and experience symptoms, and it would be hard on all of them. But for now, at least, there was calm and normalcy, and she intended to enjoy it as much as her sons and husband were.

Even if that meant washing sweaty shirts and shorts with regularity.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter Sixteen, Mazers!
> 
> This was a short, fun thing to write to keep the story...er, running! Especially after the big four-part heaviness that preceded it. So, Clay is slowly getting better as we can see, and it looks like a small seed has been planted here! Hey, I did say there would be a Book Two of Maze, now didn't I? 
> 
> We have the Prom coming up very soon, as well as the end of the school year. As always, thank you so much for reading and your kudos, and I always look forward to your feedback, comments and suggestions!
> 
> So, stay tuned, Cyrus and Alex will return in our next chapter, coming.....hang on. Cyrus and Alex?
> 
> Wait a minute......


	17. Leap of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the end of the school year and the Prom is getting closer, Clay continues his road to recovery, and Cylex is born...

  

 

_Have no fear for giving in_  
_Have no fear for giving over_  
_You'd better know that in the end_  
_Its better to say too much_  
_Then never say what you need to say again_

_Even if your hands are shaking_  
_And your faith is broken_  
_Even as the eyes are closing_  
_Do it with a heart wide open_

\- from "Say," by John Mayer

 

 

"....so, I've got, like, two papers left to finish, one project, and then finals," Zach said to Tony and Clay as they walked down the hallway of Liberty Hall together in the direction of the school library after their classes were over for the day. The end was near. This was the last week of classes, then finals week, and Prom this upcoming weekend. It was going to be a whirlwind two weeks.

"Okay," Clay nodded. "I can look over your papers, just give me enough time." 

"You sure? Seems like you've got enough on your plate with your own work, and whatever Justin needs help with, not to mention that....ummmm...."

"Dude, it's cool. Yes, I've got a busted, stitched up hand, and my brain is a little scattered right now. However, I can still type...just slower...and I can concentrate and correct grammar and sentence structure just fine. The new meds are helping a lot," Clay said.

"Yeah...sorry, I just didn't want to like...say anything stupid."

"It's all right, really."

"Personally," Tony interjected, "I've always thought your brain was a little scattered to begin with. But that's just me," he finished with a grin in Clay's direction.

"Shut up," Clay laughed, giving him a little shove with his right hand. " _Ow_! There, see what you made me do?"

Tony held up his hands in mock innocence. "That was all you, man."

As they turned a corner, a nearby student slammed her locker closed, which caused Clay to flinch and stop walking, closing his eyes as he did so.

"Hey...hey, it's okay, Clay," a suddenly worried Zach said. As he reached out to put his hand on Clay's arm, Tony stopped him and shook his head. "Wait," he told his friend softly.

Clay took several deep breaths, his knitted brow and the grimace on his face relaxed, and then he opened his eyes slowly. "Hooooo....." he exhaled. "Okay."

"You all right?" Tony asked him.

"Yeah," Clay nodded, "sudden loud noises like that still get to me. Once everything heals and rewires," he tapped his left index finger to the side of his head, "that'll start to go away. It's like my brain wants to go into flashback mode when that happens, and when it does I just need to take a moment to calm myself down. It's weird," they now continued their walk," if I see someone closing their locker, or if I'm doing it, no problem. It's when I'm not aware of it, that's when things get wonky."

"Well, for the record, I think you're handling all this really well," Zach said.

"Thanks, man. Hasn't always been easy...there's been a couple times I, like, started to cry for no reason or my hands got shaky. But it's been a lot better, that's for sure. Running with Justin helps."

"Speaking of," Tony said, "where is the other soon to be Jensen?"

"It's Wednesday...NA meeting. He got a ride with Jess."

"Right, I forgot."

"Hence, why you picked us up this morning, and you're taking me home."

"Are you making fun of my short-term memory?"

"Yes," Clay laughed, giving a playful shove again. " _OW_! See, you made me do it again!"

As they entered the library, they saw Alex and Cyrus already inside and waiting for them at a large table, speaking to each other quietly so as not to disturb anyone else studying after school, and with smiles on their faces. Before they could approach and sit down, Cyrus had given Alex a quick kiss on the cheek, causing the other boy to blush.

"This is....weird, right? But like, in a good way?" Zach asked.

"Definitely," Clay and Tony said simultaneously.

 

**********

**Three Weeks Earlier**

Cyrus had met with Clay at Monet's to catch up, and it was here that he first broached the subject of Alex and any possibility that he might be attracted to guys. Asking this had caused Clay to nearly choke on his iced coffee, more from the shock and suddenness, rather than the actual subject matter at hand. He had suggested that Cyrus speak to Tony or Zach about it, seeing as how Alex and Zach had become close friends, and one tended to follow the other, and Tony because he was a sort of Yoda after all.

But, he had resolved to do this on his own. It's not that he was struggling with his sexuality, far from it. He had already accepted himself for who he was, someone attracted to both men and women equally, and quite frankly, didn't give a shit what other people thought, except for a small handful. He had already told his father and sister, following the several incidents with Tyler and in a period where he resolved not to be _quite_ so cynical about things, or create nearly as much chaos as he previously had. Both were supportive, as were his main circle of friends. And now, Clay was as well, and this was important to Cyrus. After all, he was a sort of adjunct member of the 'Deranged Over Protective Scooby Gang," and Clay was more or less at the center of it, and was becoming a good friend. It wasn't that he wanted or needed his approval per se, but he felt that once Clay knew, it would make things easier with the others.

"Every journey begins with a single step," went the old maxim, and it was one that his father like to quote often. He may not be well-versed in things like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, but Cyrus had to admit, his old man was pretty open and accepting, and tended to give good advice when the need arose. So, the first step was telling him and Mackenzie. Step two was Clay. Step three?

He pulled out his phone and began to text as he walked out of Monet's following his talk with Clay.

**Cyrus:** _Hey 'Lex...wyd?_

**Alex:** _not much at the moment...what's up?_

**Cyrus:** _ntm...wanted to see if you like...wanted to hang out?_

**Alex:** _sure...just got home from PT with Zach, mom and dad both working late shift...wouldn't mind some company_

**Cyrus:** _ok, cool! be over in a bit!_

Cyrus pumped his fist and grinned as he continued his walk.

A short time later he arrived at the Standall home. He psyched himself up at the front door, taking a couple deep breaths, and bouncing up and down a little, before ringing the bell. It took Alex a minute or two to answer, owing to his leg, but he opened it and smiled at his friend, wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

"Hey Cyrus...c'mon in."

"Hey, 'Lex....thanks, man, I didn't want to head home just yet."

"Totally understand that. If Zach didn't have sisterly duties tonight, I probably wouldn't be here right now by myself."

"Cool," he said, walking with Alex into the kitchen. "So...how've you been? How's PT going?" he asked.

Alex shrugged. "It's going. It can be difficult some days, others are better. Today wasn't completely awful. I think the more we do I'll actually start swimming in the pool instead of riding the bike all the time."

"Nice!"

"I guess."

"Hey now...you're gonna get stronger and shit, it'll just take a little time is all."

Alex shrugged again. "I suppose so."

Cyrus nodded. "It will. You got this. And you've got a great...coach? Doctor? Not sure what Zach qualifies as?"

"Neither do I," Alex laughed, "but he's doing a good job."

"Yeah...."

"You hungry?"

"I could eat, yeah."

"I think there's some stuff mom left in the fridge I can warm up...assuming you don't mind overly healthy, all natural, taste-lacking food, that is."

"Nah," Cyrus smirked. "doesn't bother me."

"You haven't tried it yet. So I hear you were like, the crusading avenger yesterday with Clay," Alex said as he went to the refrigerator.

"Yeah, well...he needed some backup and I was in the neighborhood," Cyrus said, leaning against a counter. "I didn't want anything bad to happen. And I'm totally adopting that as my super hero name."

Alex had by now opened the refrigerator and had bent over to start pulling out tupperware containers, which gave Cyrus a rather nice view of Alex's rear. "That was really good of you, he needs all of our support. He had a real bad meltdown yesterday when they arrested Montgomery." Alex stood and turned, nudging the door shut with his elbow and saw that Cyrus seemed distracted. When he noticed _where_ it was that he had been staring, he turned his head slightly and narrowed his eyes. "Umm...were you...just checking out my ass?"

Cyrus blushed and immediately raised his head. "Uhhh...maybe?"

Alex grinned shyly. "I mean...I do have a nice ass if I do say so myself. I always thought it was one of my better attributes."

"It's definitely a nice ass," Cyrus agreed with a smile.

"Uhhh...well. Okay, then. That's....huh..." Alex looked thoughtful for a moment before turning towards the counter.

Cyrus pushed away from the counter and stood up straight. "Shit...I'm sorry, man..." he said, somewhat mortified.

Alex shook his head and put the containers down on the counter. "Don't apologize, it's actually nice to hear. I mean...okay, not about my ass _specifically_ but just, like, a compliment in general. Being broken and all."

Cyrus shook his head. "You're not broken, man. Don't say that. And you can't tell me that you haven't been complimented on anything before, like about your appearance or whatever."

"Well, I guess. But I just assume people say those things to be polite or whatever. I don't know. It's still nice to hear, all the same," Alex smiled. "But...still broken."

"No, you're not," Cyrus came over and rubbed Alex's arm, causing him to shiver a little. Seeing this, he held onto his arm and rubbed his thumb over it.

Alex closed his eyes and sighed.

"'Lex?" Cyrus asked. "You okay?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah...no, that...it feels nice." Then, quieter: "I like when you call me that. 'Lex. You're the only one who does." He turned to face Cyrus. "Can we just cut to the chase and not make this any more awkward than it has to be?"

Cyrus let go of Alex's arm and stepped back. "Okay...." he said, confused.

"Yes. I'm gay. At least I think I am," Alex shrugged.

Cyrus' eyes went wide in surprise. "That's...oh. Oh shit."

Alex nodded. "Yeah. I mean...I guess last year I was like, the ambiguous gay or whatever, and just passed it off as hipster. But then I was with Jessica, and I thought, okay...maybe jerking off to Robert Pattinson was just a phase..."

"Dude, really?" Cyrus laughed. "Twilight Robert Pattinson or Harry Potter Robert Pattinson?"

"Harry Potter, of course, oh my God, no, not Twilight. Anyway. I think subconsciously I was trying so hard to have sex with Jess to...I don't know, either figure out it was just a phase, or if I would like it. We never got that far, and then I started to hang out with a bunch of hyper-masculine jocks, and that just kind of confused me even more."

"But you and Jess...you all were at the spring dance together."

"That we were. And yes, we kissed on the dance floor. But I didn't...it just wasn't right. And then Justin fucked her, so there's that. Look, not gonna lie, I still like her, a lot, and I care about her. But Justin and I talked the other night at Clay's, and afterwards I thought about it more. I think I care about her and feel what I do for her as a really good friend."

Cyrus nodded. "Soooo...how did you...with me, I mean?"

"Cyrus, you're not exactly subtle. You call me 'Lex, you always have this warm smile for me, you talk to me differently than you do anybody else."

"Huh...guess I was a little obvious," Cyrus replied, scratching the back of his head. "Does anyone else know? Like...have you told anyone?"

"Zach figured it out. We got into a little fight one afternoon in the locker room and I got a boner from it."

"You....got a hard on from fighting."

"It's a long story, but the bottom line is that we had a long talk afterwards and I opened up about stuff. He's been really cool about it, and promised not to tell anyone else until I was ready."

"So, Zach's not...you know..." Cyrus asked.

"Oh God, no. He made that clear," Alex chuckled. "He's not my type, anyway."

"Oh? Huh. So...who would be your type, then?"

Alex smiled shyly again and his cheeks flushed. "Ummm...hey," he said, turning to the food. "Let's...get this on plates and in the microwave. And...we can talk."

 

**********

 

The trio began to arrange book bags and laptops  and assorted schoolwork on the table as they greeted their friends in the library.

"Now, you two....no kissy face or whatever while we're working," Zach teased. "We can take a break around four, and you two can have exactly five minutes of make out time then.

"Oh my God, Zach..." Alex groaned.

"Ease up there, tiger," he replied with a grin as he sat down and unzipped his bag. "I'm just kidding."

"I think it's a great idea, actually," Cyrus smirked.

"Cyyyyy," Alex blushed.

Clay cleared his throat after pulling out and opening his laptop. All eyes turned to him. "Okay, so. I've got a little bit of work to do, but if you'll get your papers ready, give me a couple of minutes and I'll look over them, those of you that need it. I've got to leave around five, so that gives us roughly two hours. Let's maximize our time." He stopped when he noticed Tony looking at him. "What...?

"Yeah, you're getting back to normal," he said, causing the others to look at Clay and smile.

Clay looked at them in turn and rolled his eyes. "Get to work, gentlemen."

And work they did, getting caught up on reading assigned books or giving papers the once-over. Cyrus brought his left hand under the table and reached over to take Alex's right hand in his own, and began to rub his thumb over it softly. This caused Alex to glance his way briefly and smile, blushing a little bit again as he did so.

"Alex," Clay said from behind his laptop, "not until four o'clock."

 

**********

 

Alex and Cyrus sat at the table and ate in silence. Actually, neither one of them ate very much, owing to perhaps one of two things: the food, which as Alex had warned, was not exactly the most appealing, or the now elephant in the room, based on their kitchen conversation just a few moments earlier. Each were lost in their own thoughts, and after a few minutes, each decided to take a leap of faith at the same time.

"So..." Alex said.

"Anyway..." Cyrus said.

"You first."

"No, no...go ahead, what were you gonna say?"

"No, really, say what you were going to..."

"Hey, it's your house, you should..."

"Cyrus, please, go ahead. Tell me what you were..."

"I think you're cute!" Cyrus blurted out.

And with that, silence fell over them again.

"Shit," Cyrus said under his breath.

"Well then. Okay."

"Hey...like, I'm sorry if that was...I dunno, too blunt or whatever, but..."

"Not at all," Alex put his fork down. "I think, next to me, you're the most blunt person I know. And, it's okay, really."

"Yeah?" Cyrus wasn't quite as embarrassed now.

"Really." Alex smiled, picking his fork back up and moving around the pieces of tofu on his plate. "I think you're cute, too," he said softly.

Hearing that, Cyrus smiled widely and looked as if a heavy weight had just been lifted off of his shoulders. Now, the question in his mind became, where to go from here or to do next.

"So I think..." he started.

"I kind of want to try something," Alex said at the same time.

"What do you want to try?"

"No, what were you going to say?"

"Okay, so we're gonna have to stop doing this," Cyrus laughed. "Mine can wait. What do you want to try?"

Alex bit his lower lip looked like he was thinking about either his next action or what he was going to say next with careful consideration.

"'Lex?"

Alex nodded and got up slowly from his chair and walked over to Cyrus. "Have you ever taken a leap of faith?"

"Have you seen or heard of some of the shit I pulled this year? I think that qualifies. Why?" he asked, turning his head to look at Alex.

"Because I'm about to take a rather big one." With that, Alex leaned down and took Cyrus' face in his hands gently, cradling it, and just like that, his lips made contact. Cyrus' eyes went wide for just a second, but as the shock wore off quickly, he closed them and moaned quietly into the kiss. He turned his body in the chair some so he could hold onto Alex's waist.

Alex then leaned back. "Yeah...definitely gay."

Cyrus pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Most definitely," Alex nodded and grinned as Cyrus wrapped his arms around his neck, placing one hand gently on it. "But I think I need a second opinion."

Cyrus laughed and brought his lips back to Alex, pulling him in closer.

 

**********

 

"Hmm."

Zach looked at Clay, who was making edits to his paper.

"This isn't a word...neither is this...you need a semicolon here....that's _really_ not a word...Jesus, Zach, did you not take English comp?"

"Dude. The paper is _for_ English comp."

"Right, yeah....Cyrus, stop bouncing your leg, five more minutes.....this isn't a word, either. Zach, I'm going to introduce you to this great thing that I think will really help you in the future."

"What's that?"

"A dictionary."

"C'mon, it can't be _that_ bad!"

Clay looked up at him over the top edge of the paper.

"Yeah....okay. Cyrus, dude...he's right, stop bouncing your leg."

"Sorry..."

"Cyrus...Alex," Tony interjected, "take your break early. Go. Get it out of your system."

"Hell yeah!" Cyrus got to his feet and helped Alex stand up. "We're uh....gonna go to the vending machines. Anyone want anything?"

Tony and Zach shook their heads. Clay, meanwhile, only said, more or less to himself, "This isn't a word, either...good Lord..."

"We'll be right back," Alex said to Zach. "Promise."

"Go," Zach replied, making a "shooing" movement with his hands. "It's fine."

The library was, in a much earlier time at Liberty, the original gym, and as such there were features to it that still remained echoing a time some thirty years earlier. One of them was in the very back, nestled away from the stacks and tables and computer terminals, a small room with two rather ancient vending machines that, based on the soda choices listed on one of them, hadn't been used in quite some time. After all, who in their right mind got "Diet Shasta Orange" anymore? Needless to say, it was poorly lit and hardly ever used. In other words, a perfect spot to come and hide for a few minutes.

Cyrus turned to Alex as they entered the small alcove. "I've been waiting to do this all fucking day," he said, taking Alex in his arms.

"Yeah?" Alex grinned. "How badly have you wanted to do this?"

"This badly," he said before smashing his lips against Alex's, causing a yelp of surprise. Once that surprise wore off, Alex opened his mouth and let his tongue meet Cyrus' own.

 

**********

 

Alex lay on his back on his bed, his arms wrapped around Cyrus, who was nestled to the side somewhat so as to not lay directly on Alex's bad leg, Still, they were in very close contact, their tongues exploring each other's mouth, little sighs escaping every once and awhile. Moving down, Cyrus nuzzled and gently kissed at his neck while his right hand rubbed in small, tender circles on his stomach. Each little lick or nip at his neck led to a gasp or a small moan.

When Cyrus started to bring his hand lower, though, and even though his dick was working just fine, thankfully, Alex reached down and stopped him.

"Wait," he whispered.

"Too soon?" Cyrus asked.

Alex nodded in reply. "Yeah...not just yet. That okay?"

"It's more than okay, sexy."

"I am not sexy," Alex laughed.

"The fuck you're not. 'Lex...everything about you is sexy."

Alex shuffled up the bed some, sitting against the headboard. "Do you really think so? Even with a gimpy hand and leg, a scar on my head, and therapeutic issues?"

"Yes," Cyrus laughed, bracing himself up and kissing Alex again. "And you're not the only one with therapeutic issues, you know. And I don't care about the rest, I really don't!"

Alex sighed and brought Cyrus close, wrapping an arm around him and snuggling. "This...is gonna be weird, right? Not like...this. Us. But...telling people."

"Why would it be weird," Cyrus shrugged. "Our friends are cool as shit. Full disclosure, I kinda...hinted to Clay earlier this evening."

"You did? Why?" Alex asked, confused.

"'Cause....he's like, group dad or whatever."

"Yeah, I can see that. Well. We still need to tell them. And...full disclosure for me on a couple of things."

Cyrus got up and sat Indian style next to Alex. "Sure, what?"

"Okay....so, like...I want to take it slow. As much as I want to do things of the sexual variety, and I want to do them with you, I want us to take our time. I'm not saying I don't _ever_ want to...I guess I just want to take, like...baby steps."

"Cool," Cyrus nodded. "I'm down with that. What's the other thing?"

Alex closed his eyes and sighed. "It's....my parents."

"What about them?"

Alex opened his eyes again and looked down at the bedspread, playing at it with his fingers. "I...think they'll be okay with this. With me...us. I mean, they're cool with Tony and Ryan and Courtney and all. And I sort of think they've always suspected. But...I'm going to need a little time before I have "the talk" with them." He looked back up at Cyrus, worried now. "That's....like, that's okay, isn't it?"

"Of course it is...hey, you take as much time as you need. I don't want to pressure you into anything you don't feel comfortable with."

"Okay. Thanks, Cy," Alex smiled.

"So. I've got one last full disclosure also." Now it was Cyrus' turn to look down and fidget with the bedspread. "I....like both. Guys and girls."

"And?"

"And...I don't want you to think that...I dunno, I'll go chasing after some girl or something, or that if we wait to do stuff, that I won't be...happy. With you." He looked up at Alex again. "I think I could be really, really happy with you, 'Lex. I know I could. Just don't think that....fuck, I don't know what I'm trying to say...."

"It's fine, I think I get it," Alex smiled and nodded. "Hey, let's not forget, I thought I was going to be on the "bi now, gay later plan" after all. And I can appreciate nice boobs."

Cyrus laughed, "Yeah, boobs are fun, not gonna lie." He leaned back towards Alex and bit his lower lip. "But I bet you're _way_ more fun," he whispered. "I like you a lot, 'Lex. I always have, ever since you transferred to Liberty."

"Well...I guess you're kind of okay," Alex teased.

"Don't make me spank you!" Cyrus laughed.

"I might like that."

Cyrus' eyebrows raised. "Kinky. I like."

"Hey, I said I wanted to go slowly...I never said I wasn't willing to try stuff. And..."

"What?" Cyrus asked.

"I like you a lot, too."

 

**********

 

Alex moaned as he broke the kiss. "We need to get back."

"Aww...I don't want to," Cyrus whined, making puppy eyes.

"Well, neither do I, truthfully, but I feel like if we don't, they're gonna come looking for us," Alex said before kissing Cyrus' forehead.

"Oh, okay," Cyrus sighed. 

"I'll make it up to you. Promise," Alex said as they started to walk back.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhmm. Let's just say I'm _really_ looking forward to Prom night."

"Really? You're...wait, what?" Cyrus replied, a mixture of confusion and anticipation in his voice.

"You'll see," Alex smiled, walking ahead a little.

 

**********

 

**Alex:** _hey gang...need the Scooby Council to meet. tomorrow at Monet's, after school?_

**Sheri:** _okay, I'm there_

**Justin:** _same...everything ok?_

**Alex:** _yeah just need to talk about something_

**Tony:** _can do_

**Clay:** _got it...and thank you for getting me out of lifting weights with Justin  
_

**Justin:** _hey! your getting better at it!_

**Clay:** _*you're...omg how many times..._

**Jess:** _I'm there_

**Zach:** _yeah man no prob...sure you're all right?_

**Alex:** _I'm sure!_

**Ryan:** _is this one of those things where I'll need to bring tissues because we're going to have a good cry? I mean did you SEE who won RuPaul??!!_

**Alex:** _LOL! No...shouldn't need tissues_

**Courtney:** _*eye roll emoji*_  

 

Alex looked up from his phone at Cyrus. "Okay. Here we go."

The next afternoon, Zach drove Alex to Monet's. "So, what's all this about?" he asked. "Did you like, unlock some kind of state secrets or whatever?"

"No, it's not that. Hey...before we go in. I want to tell you first."

"Okay," Zach parked the car and turned it off. "What's up?"

"So...you've been a really good friend to me ever since...you know. And I know I can be a real shit sometimes, but I want you to know that I really do appreciate everything you're doing for me. I mean it, Zach."

"You're welcome...but what does this have to do with..."

"I wanted to tell you first, and in private, before we met up with the rest of the Gang. So. Here goes. Cyrus and I are...I guess we're going to try the whole dating thing. Together. Him and me."

"You and...Cyrus? Really?" Zach asked.

"Yeah."

"Huh. Wow."

Alex looked over at Zach, worried now. "I just...I dunno, I wanted you to know first, and I suppose I like...want your approval."

"My approval? Why mine?" Zach asked with a confused look on his face.

"Zach, oh my God, did you not hear what I just said like thirty seconds ago? You're like...my best friend."

Zach nodded. "Huh. Well...that means a lot to me, hearing that. So let me ask you this...do you think you'd be happy with him?"

"I guess I'm going to find out. I mean...we made out for a couple of hours last night," Alex shrugged. "It wasn't terrible."

"Oh my God," Zach laughed. "Well, I'm glad it wasn't. But hey...good for you, man. So I take it this is going to be your big coming out to the rest of the Gang?"

"Something like that, yes. And I'm....really nervous."

"Hey," Zach reached over and squeezed Alex's shoulder. "Come on now. After everything we've all been through, you should know that we'll accept you for who you are, no matter what. We love you, man. And just like with Clay and Sheri, we want you to be happy."

Alex nodded. "Thanks. That means a lot to me."

"I got your back, man. Always."

As Alex and Zach entered Monet's the rest of the group was already there and waiting, including Cyrus, sitting at a large table. Walking over, Cyrus picked up his leather jacket from the seat next to him, which he had used to essentially reserve for Alex, who smiled briefly at him and sat down.

"So...I suppose you're wondering why I've called you all here today," Alex began.

"Dude, now you sound like Clay," Justin said, resulted in an elbow to the ribs from Clay. "Hey! That wasn't nice!" he said to his brother-to-be.

"Clay, be nice," Sheri, who was seated on Clay's left, laughed. Clay looked at her and blushed as she kissed his cheek.

"Shush. Go on, Alex," Ryan said.

"Okay...well, I've gone over this in my head about a hundred times today, and I kept trying to come up with the perfect way to say this. And I couldn't figure out how, except maybe to just come on out and say it, so here goes." He paused and held his breath for a moment. He locked eyes with Zach, who was sitting across from him, and gave him a nod of encouragement. Then, he turned to Cyrus who did the same. Finally, over to Clay, who after hearing what Alex just said and noticing who he was looking at in turn, also gave a nod with an encouraging smile.

"Guys....I'm gay. And...Cyrus and I are going to try....well." Alex took Cyrus' hand in his own and squeezed it, causing Cyrus to lean over and whisper to him. "I am SO proud of you right now, Sexy Lexy."

"We're going to try the whole relationship thing."

Alex's cheeks flushed some and he looked down at the table for a moment. When he looked back up, he saw all of his friends smiling back at him.

"Welcome to the club, guys!" Ryan said.

"Dude! This is awesome! Hey, congratulations man! That took some balls!" Justin added.

"Not quite the way I would have put it, but he's right, that was really brave of you, Alex," Clay said. "You, too, Cyrus. And we're all here for you. We've got your back. Both of you."

"If you need any advice on the whole how to do this to the parents thing, let me know," Courtney said. "Oh...and we have movies if you want to borrow them."

"Like the man said," Tony nodded. "Welcome to the club, gentlemen. Congrats."

"Oh my gosh, this is great! Alex, I'm so happy you can be yourself around us!" Sheri said. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Hang on," Cyrus said. "So you guys aren't surprised that....I'm....also?"

There were shrugs and shaking heads all around.

"Not especially," Ryan said. "You made my gaydar go off a little bit."

"Okay, so I was surprised. I don't have gay...whatever the fuck he just said," Justin said, raising his hand.

"I think we'd all be a little worried if you did, Justin," Courtney said.

"Alex," Jess said. "Not gonna lie...I always sort of suspected, you know?"

Alex bit his lip and looked down again. "I'm...I'm sorry if you think I led you on, or anything like that. It wasn't my intention. I...needed to figure out who I was."

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for," Jess replied, reaching over and lifting Alex's chin. "I'm really proud of you right now, you know that? And don't you dare think this changes anything between us. You're still my best friend, no matter what."

"Okay," Alex smiled.

"Well," Zach said, standing up, "I think this calls for a celebration. Usual drink orders for everyone? Cyrus, c'mon with me, you can help carry them."

Cyrus looked at Alex who nodded at him with a smile, and then got up to join Zach in line.

"So. This happened kinda quick," Zach started.

"I mean....yeah? Kinda. I just...hey, look. Zach. I like 'Lex, okay? I really do. For as much courage as it took him to do that just now, it took me the same and more to go and talk to him yesterday. I know how close the two of you are, and believe me, I don't want to come in between that. He deserves his bro time with you, just like I do with my group."

"Okay. Well. Just be good to him. That's all I'm gonna ask. As long as he's happy, that's all that matters. He means a lot to me. To all of us."

"No...no, I know that. I'm gonna be good to him, I promise," Cyrus nodded.

"Good," Zach smiled. "I'd hate to have to kick your ass otherwise."

Cyrus snickered. "Right, like you could take on the Crusading Avenger."

"The what...? Never mind, let's order."

Back at the table, Clay had gotten up and moved next to Alex. "Hey man, I meant what I said. That was really, really brave of you. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Clay...that means a lot. It's been an interesting twenty-four hours, that's for sure. But sometimes....you have to take a leap of faith."

 

**********

 

"Okay....this is a lot better. See? That online dictionary really did help."

Zach looked at Clay and shook his head. "You must go absolutely nuts helping Justin with his homework."

"Why do you think I have PTSD?" Clay deadpanned. Alex and Cyrus made their way back to the table and sat back down. "All better now?"

"For now," Cyrus grinned.

"You know, I'll be honest. I sort of had my reservations about this. But seeing you two together...you guys are about as sticky sweet together as Clay and Sheri are," Zach said.

"Do you _want_ me to do these corrections, or not?" Clay said, throwing a pen cap at Zach.

"He's not wrong," Tony said, closing his textbook. "About the two of you. Well, and Clay and Sheri for that matter. I probably wouldn't have put it the same way, but you guys are happy and that makes us happy."

"Yes. That. That's what I was trying to say," Zach nodded, throwing the pen cap back at Clay.

"Be nice to me, I have a concussion. And a bad hand. And a mixed up brain. Anyway...I agree. I like the two of you together, and Alex, I haven't seen you this happy in a long time. It's nice to see."

"Thanks, guys," Alex smiled. "That means a lot."

They went back to their work, knowing that they had one more hour of study time together before the library closed. Summer was in sight, Prom was upon them, and things were good. What more could they ask for? As Alex had said, sometimes, all that was needed was a leap of faith.

"Dude....this _still_ isn't a word....."

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Even if your hands are shaking_  
_And your faith is broken_  
_Even as the eyes are closing_  
_Do it with a heart wide open_

\- from "Say," by John Mayer

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, Mazers! Thank you for reading Chapter Seventeen!
> 
> Okay. So. Yes. Cylex, as I have dubbed them, happened rather fast. But, I think I addressed it some in the context of the Chapter, and I do have plans for them in chapters and stories ahead! Yes, I further know that in canon Alex is straight and if nothing else there's the whole flirting with Zach back and forth...but hey, this is my little corner of the AU, and what else is fan fiction for?
> 
> Anyway! Can you believe this is the first chapter Ye Writer has written where Justin plays only a small role? Neither can I! Never fear, he's back in full force next time out. After all, we need to find out who he's taking to Prom! Zach, too, for that matter!
> 
> So, as always, I greatly appreciate your comments and feedback, and thank you so much for your kudos! Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return in our next chapter, coming soon!


	18. Most of All, You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, at long last, it's Prom night! But first, we meet New Justin...

 

 _Woke up one day, what did I find?_  
_Holes in my pockets, memories on my mind_  
_So many things I lost on the way_  
_But most of all you_  
  
_Pennies and dreams carelessly spent_  
_Pieces of time and who knows where they went_  
_Is there a chance to pick up the pieces_  
_And try for it all again?_

-from "Most of All You," by Bill Medley

 

"Now, move side A over to side B....no, the other one....no, the _other_ one, that's still side B...right, like that. Okay, bring A up under B. I said _under_ it, Justin!"

As if teaching Justin how to tie a regular tie hadn't been stressful enough some weeks earlier, teaching him how to tie a bow tie was getting close to triggering Clay's PTSD. His was already done, a plum colored one with matching suspenders and a vest.

"I _did_ bring it up and under!" Justin whined as he struggled with his classic red variety and looked back at Clay through the mirror. As the old saying went, this was déjà vu all over again.

"No, you didn't! B! B is the longer side!"

"Arrrghh....why didn't we just get clip on ones?! The place had them!"

"Because, it's Prom, and you wear a bow tie to Prom, and you should learn how to tie one, properly!"

"When the _fuck_ am I ever going to wear a bow tie again?"

"Oh, I don't know? Your wedding? My wedding? A fraternity in college? Next year's Prom??" Clay said, holding his arms up in exasperation. "Maybe you'll have an award winning magic act on stage?"

"Do what now?"

"Gah, I don't know, those were just examples!"

Justin sighed and let his arms fall to his sides and slumped his shoulders. "This is stupid. I should've just worn like...a nice shirt and a regular tie. I can tie those!"

"You can _now_ because I taught you, and I'm going to teach you how to tie a bow tie. Even if it pushes the limits of my medications. Let's start over."

"Jesus, Clay," Justin said, undoing his failed attempt, "you need to relax. It's going to be a fun night, and if you wander down your Clay-hole..."

Clay made a face. "You do _not_ get to borrow Tony's expressions. Start over. Face up, right side shorter than the left, left is A, right is B. And...I am relaxed." He turned away and shook his head, going over to the desk and pulling the chair over.

"You...did take your medicine today. Right?" Justin asked as he looked down and adjusted each side.

"Yeah. Of course I did."

"Okay. It's just...you seem a little edgy is all. And it can't be from bow ties."

Clay sighed and plopped down in the chair. "Side A over to side B. No, I'm just....okay, so I'm nervous."

"Why?"

"Bring A up under B and through the loop. Dude. It's the Prom. I'm going to the Prom. With Sheri. And I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to school dances. Fold B to the right.... _to the right_....now to the left so it looks like a bow."

"Dude, this isn't just another school dance. It's Prom, man. This is like...I dunno, like the high school version of an awards show or something. As for Sheri, you all have gone out on how many dates now? Bro, you're going to be fine. We're gonna have a great time."

"Bring A down over the middle. How do you know about awards shows? And I know. I just...." Clay thought for a moment.

"What?"

"I just want tonight to be...special. Almost perfect. You know?"

"I'd nod my head but I'm afraid I'd fuck this up. Hey, at least you don't have any kind of major past drama with _your_ date tonight."

"Fold A back towards your chest and pinch it. Not major drama, no. But I told you what happened that day...here. With the tapes and all. Push A through the loop behind B."

"Clay, that's like...ancient history or whatever. Has she brought anything up about it?"

"Pull on it and tighten it up. No...I mean...I guess I sorta mentioned it in passing a couple weeks ago. I don't know," Clay sighed. "I guess I'm just...worried. Nervous. Both. Now adjust it so it's even on both sides."

Justin did so. "Worried and nervous are like, the same thing." He turned around and held his arms out to show Clay with a smile. That smile.

Clay nodded his approval. "Yes. Finally. Thank you." He stood back up and came over to Justin and made a few minor adjustments to the tie. "I don't know....I guess after everything this year, I keep thinking that something else is going to go horribly wrong."

"That's just the anxiety talking, you're gonna be fine, bro." Justin turned around again and he and Clay looked at themselves in the mirror. "Damn. We look _good_."

"Told you."

"Hey. Nothing is going to go horribly wrong. Have fun tonight! That's an order."

Clay brought his hand up to salute. "Yes, sir!"

Justin laughed at his foster-almost-adopted brother. "Dude, cheesy. How's it feeling?" he asked, indicating Clay's right hand.

Clay had gotten his stitches out, thankfully, the day before. He looked down at his hand and wiggled his fingers. "It's okay. Still kinda hurts a little."

"We need to come up with a cool story for your scars."

"What? Punching a mirror in a fit of rage isn't cool enough?"

"Well," Justin said as he turned and went to get his tuxedo jacket, "there's that, yeah. But I was thinking more like....there was a hot girl on a runaway horse, and you had to save her or some shit."

"That....has got to be one of the stupidest things I think I've ever heard you say. And I've heard you say a lot." Clay was now putting on his own jacket.

"Shut up, dumbass," Justin laughed.

"No, you shut up...shithead," Clay laughed right back. They came back to the mirror and looked at themselves once more. "Man. We do look good, don't we?"

Justin nodded. "If this doesn't get you laid tonight, nothing will."

Clay groaned and left the room, trotting down the stairs, Justin close behind.

"Oh...my gosh," Lainie said, breaking out into a big smile. "You two...you look amazing! I need to take pictures of this, right now!" She had come to the foot of the stairs when she heard Clay start to walk down, and dashed back into the kitchen to get her phone.

"Mommmmm..." Clay groaned again. "We're gonna be late picking them up, and we're coming back here for pictures anyway."

Matt had gotten up off the living room couch and walked into the foyer. "Clay, let your mom take some pictures. You know this means a lot to her. She's right, though, you guys look great," he nodded.

"Thanks, dad," Justin smiled. "I tied this all by myself," he said, tugging at the ends of the bow tie.

"Dude, _really_?" Clay turned and looked at him incredulously.

"Did you tie it for me?" Justin asked as Lainie came back into the room.

"No, but..."

"Okay, then. I tied it all by myself."

"Asshole," Clay muttered under his breath.

"Okay, Justin, why don't you stand on the second to last step. Yes, right there. Clay, turn to your right just a bit. Perfect. Smile!" Lainie took several pictures and then looked down at her phone with Matt. "Don't our boys look handsome?" she asked.

"That they do, two little lady killers. Speaking of which, you all had better go pick them up. We don't want you to be late for dinner."

Clay nodded as he went to the key rack next to the front door. Yesterday had been a red letter day - his stitches came out, and repairs to his car had been completed. "Ready, Justin?"

"Yep." He grabbed two corsage boxes from the table under the key rack. "We'll be back in a few," he called behind him as they walked out the door.

"You did _not_ tie that all by yourself," Clay said as they walked to the Prius.

"Clay, I swear to God, if you don't chill out...."

 

**********

 

**Three Weeks Earlier**

As the Gang consumed their drinks and shared in the excitement of Alex and Cyrus, making conversation and laughing, one of them was only half-listening.

The story of Justin and Jessica was a tumultuous one to say the least, and there was certainly no lack of drama to it. The thing was, Justin truly loved her. If there was such a thing as love at first sight, then this was certainly it. He never used to believe in that sort of thing, it was something for television shows or movies, even fairy tales; it didn't happen in real life. At least not until he first laid eyes on Jessica Davis. It was as if some cartoon Cupid had popped out of nowhere. Forget the little arrow, that fucker hit Justin over the head with a sledgehammer. 

And for a time, it was as if the fairy tale was coming true: the star basketball hot shot and the cheerleader. They were inseparable, and for a time, Justin came to believe that he would have his happily ever after.

But.

Then the fairy tale became a horror novel. Rape. A major lie to, what Justin thought, misguidedly, protect her. Tapes. A trial. Drinking. A very, very angry father. Profuse apologies.

When Clay found him on the streets of Oakland, he came back for Jessica. And when he ran off a second time, he had come back for Clay, true, but it was still Jessica, really, that led him back to the Jensen home. And while he was now the happiest he had been in his short seventeen years, and felt safe and secure with his new family, and fully embraced the idea of having Clay as a brother, there was still one piece missing in the puzzle that was Justin Foley Almost Jensen.

And she was sitting directly across from him, talking to Alex.

Old Justin wouldn't have cared that he had had sex with Jess the night of the Spring Fling, even though she had gone with Alex, and it looked like, at the time anyway, that they were trying to make things work out again. Old Justin probably would've just kept it to himself and maybe saw her behind everyone's back in secret and have some kind of clandestine relationship. But that was Old Justin. New Justin, on the other hand, came to regret it during that long, long night, when the image of an automatic weapon pointed at Clay seemed to jump start his brain. That was why he had confessed to still being a heroin user, and accepted all kinds of new rules and regulations at the Jensen house, and was taking methadone and going to meetings and outpatient treatments. New Justin realized how much he really did love his new family and friends.

So, New Justin confessed, full of remorse and shame, to Alex. Surprisingly, Alex had taken it...not well, but seemed to be resigned, somewhat, to it all. Hearing and seeing what had played out before him and their friends just a few moments earlier with Cyrus made puzzle pieces start to fit together in New Justin's mind. Maybe this was why Alex didn't flip out and was still on good terms with him, that he was going through struggles of his own.

New Justin still made mistakes, at home or in school. New Justin still liked having sex. _A lot_. But random hookups with girls at school here and there only fulfilled his need for intimacy and love for a short period of time, and he always felt empty and even somewhat dirty about it afterwards. Old Justin might not have cared, and might have bragged about these exploits in graphic detail to someone. But, New Justin wouldn't. Only Alex knew, sort of.

No, Old and New Justin could only agree on one thing. Jessica. Only Jessica was missing in his life, and as more than just a friend.

Justin got up and walked over to one of the couches, where Clay and Sheri had retreated to, their conversation punctuated with the occasional giggle or kiss.

"Um, hey guys. Sheri, can I borrow Clay for a minute?"

"Of course. I'm going to get a refill and talk with Alex and Cyrus. Want anything, handsome guy?" Sheri said as she got up.

"I'm good, thanks," Clay smiled after her as she walked off. "What's up?" he asked.

"Can we...talk outside? Please?"

Clay frowned. "Are you all right?" he asked as he got to his feet and they walked to the door of Monet's. "Be right back guys," he called over his shoulder to the Gang.

Out on the sidewalk, and out of sight of the front windows, Justin looked down and scratched the back of his head. "So...I need your help. Advice."

"Okay, sure. What's wrong?"

Justin took a deep breath and exhaled. Raising his head, he looked across the street at some of the other shops, squinting a little as the sun reflected off the windows and back at him. "Nothing's like... _wrong_ exactly. I just kinda want to do something. And I'm not sure if I should or not. Which is why I need your help."

"Jesus, Justin..." Clay reached out and took his arm. "You...you're not thinking about shooting up, are you? Do we need to call your sponsor? I can call mom and dad if you..."

"No! Fuck no! It's not that, I swear." He turned his head back to look at Clay. "C'mon, bro. You gotta trust me on that."

"No, I do," Clay nodded. "I just get worried about you is all. Okay...so what is it you want to do?"

Justin took another breath. "Now, I don't want you to freak out or anything, since you're still recovering and all. But, you're the smartest guy I know, and you're my brother, and I don't know who else to ask."

"So? Ask me."

"I...want to take Jess to the Prom."

"Oh. Oh! Ohhhhhh."

"Yeah," Justin nodded. "See what I mean?"

"Hmm. Well." Clay thought for a moment. "Okay, so...a) you know I'm probably not the best person in the world to be asking for advice when it comes to the fairer sex, right? And, b) are you _sure_ you want to open that can of worms again?"

"A)....yes. I do know that," causing Clay to laugh a little. "But...I mean, you asked Sheri out, so that says something. And b)....yeah. Yeah, I do. Clay, she's...I just...." Justin looked down at the sidewalk again and sighed. "I really love her. I know I fucked things up big time, but like I told you...I'm done doing fucked up things." He looked back up at Clay, this time with a pained and hurt expression on his face. "It's killing me inside not being with her, and I _want_ to be with her. I want to prove to her that this is the New Justin."

Clay nodded and gave his little half smile. "Well, then I think New Justin should introduce himself to Jessica."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Hey, look. We've all come a long way in the last couple of months. We all hang out together, we've all become really good friends. Hell, we've got like..two couples already. Why not try for a third? But listen, Justin. The worst she can say is 'no,' and if she does, you need to remember....it's okay to hear 'no' sometimes. That doesn't mean she won't stop being close to you, she cares about you. Tony told me the other night that sometimes you need to seize the day, and Alex in there a few minutes ago said you sometimes need to take a leap of faith. I think you need to do both."

Justin thought for a moment and then gave a small smile. "I guess I should try then. Yeah...yeah, okay. Thanks, bro. I guess I needed a pep talk."

They began to walk back towards the entrance of the coffee shop, Clay putting his left arm around Justin's shoulders and giving them a firm squeeze. "Clay Jensen giving Justin Foley a pep talk. About girls. I think we've warped onto Earth Two in a parallel universe," he said.

"Dude, what? Man, that concussion really fucked with your head," Justin laughed, holding the door open for Clay.

"Be nice to me! I have a concussion."

As Clay went over to join Sheri, Alex and Cyrus, Justin came up behind Jess, who was talking to Ryan and Courtney. "Seize the leap of faith...whatever," he said to himself. "Umm. Hey. Jess?"

Jess turned around in her seat. "What's up?"

"I'd like to introduce you to someone. Can...you come with me?"

Jess looked back at Ryan and Courtney who both shrugged. "Okay, sure," she said, turning in her chair and standing up. As Justin led her to a far corner of Monet's, away from the rest of the Gang, he looked back over at Clay, who gave him an encouraging nod.

"So...are they, like...meeting us here or something?" Jess asked, looking around.

Justin stood straight and rolled back his shoulders. "Hi."

"Ummm....hi?"

Justin held out his hand. "I'm New Justin. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Jess looked at him as though he had just declared himself to be a flying purple dragon. "Okay...." she said, extending her hand and shaking Justin's. "Pleasure to...meet you, too?"

"The uh...pleasure is all mine. And...New Justin...like...he really, really regrets everything that Old Justin did. It's killing him inside, and if he could, he'd go back in time or whatever and tell Old Justin not to do those stupid, fucked up things."

"Are you...seriously talking about yourself in the third person?"

"Jess, please..."

"Okay, okay," she laughed. "Go on."

"New Justin....he knows that, like...everything can't just be the way they used to be. But...he'd like to try and make things up to you, and prove that he really _is_ New Justin, and maybe....start over. Because he knows he hurt...the most important, special, beautiful young lady he's ever met in his life. Very, very badly. And it's eating him up inside. He just wants to pick up the pieces and start over."

"Justin," Jess said softly, wiping away a couple of tears that had fallen down the sides of her face.

"Jessica," he took her hands in his and brought them up to his chest. "New Justin would like to know...would you...go to the Prom with him? As a friend, to start over?"

"Justin," she said softly again. "You know my father still despises you, right?" she asked.

"I sorta figured, yeah," Justin laughed. "But...I'd like to maybe try and prove to him, too, that this really is the New Justin."

"You've got to stop switching back and forth between the first and third person." Jess sighed and looked into the baby blue eyes she had fallen for once before. "If we do this....we do this as friends. We take it slow and see what happens. Do you think that New Justin would be all right with that?"

"I think New Justin would be fucking ecstatic with that." And there it was again. That smile.

"Then....yes. I'd like to go to the Prom with the New Justin."

Justin exhaled and looked as if he might cry. "Okay. Okay, yeah. Thank you," he took Jess in for a hug. "I promise...this is starting over. I'll do whatever you want me to do to make this right, and I'll take it as slow as you want me to."

They turned around and saw the rest of the Gang watching them and smiling.

"This...happens a lot, doesn't it? With all of us?" Justin asked.

Jess nodded. "Yeah, little bit."

 

**********

 

"Come with me," Justin turned to Clay as they sat in the car outside of the Davis residence.

"Dude...you talked to him. It's going to be fine."

"Yeah, I talked to him...but what if he, like..changed his mind or whatever, and he's secretly hatched a plot to kill me on his front porch?"

Clay's eyes widened in surprise. "Okay....and I'm the one with anxiety?"

"Clay, please? C'mon, man. I'm your brother. We're supposed to do shit like this together."

"So if he hatched a plot to kill you on the front porch, and we're supposed to do this together, then that means I'll get killed, too. And on Prom night."

"I'll buy your comic books for the next month!"

Clay unbuckled his seat belt and started to open his door. "Done. But if I get killed and you don't, I swear to God I will haunt you. And I'll be a grudge, not a happy ghost."

One quick doorbell ring later, and Noelle Davis opened the door. "Well, good evening gentlemen! Greg? Jessica? Justin and Clay are here."

Jessica came to the front door first, and immediately took Justin's breath away. "H-hi...oh, man. You look...you..."

"The word he's looking for is 'beautiful.' Hi, Jess," Clay said.

Corsage and boutonniere were pinned, and pictures were taken under a tree in the front yard, as Clay stood off to the side, glancing down at his watch every so often. After what seemed to be the fiftieth picture taken by Noelle, he walked over and cleared his throat. "Mr. Davis...Mrs. Davis....I hate to do this, but we still need to pick up Sheri, and then run by my parents house for pictures of our own before they leave."

They walked over to the car, and Greg Davis placed his hand on Justin's shoulder as they did so, and gave a squeeze. A firm squeeze. Which turned into a grip.

"Now...young man. I hope you don't think that buying my daughter and I a milkshake the other day and having a chat automatically makes up for everything right away," he said.

"N-no... _ow_...sir. Of course not," Justin winced as the grip became tighter. 

"And I know you all are going to be at your house tonight, and that your parents are leaving you all alone there."

"Y-yes sir."

"Just remember, son. I own a gun and a shovel. That's all. Have a good time tonight," he patted Justin on the back. Hard. "Bye, honey," he called to Jessica. "Have fun! Call me when you get to the Jensens."

"I will, dad," Jess replied, as she got into the back seat. Justin came over and smiled at her and closed the door. He looked back and smiled at Greg, who sort of smiled - basically scowled, back at him. 

Justin sighed as he put on his seat belt and Clay started the car. 

"One month. I'll give you the list tomorrow."

"What list?" Jessica asked from the back.

"Don't ask..." Justin replied as he massaged his now sore shoulder.

 

**********

 

"I'm _still_ not sure this is such a good idea."

Lainie was packing some last minute items into an overnight bag in their bedroom, Matt standing in the doorway watching as she did so.

"Honey, do you remember our Prom night?"

"Yes," Lainie grinned without looking up at her husband.

"All right then. So, if they're going to drink, wouldn't you rather have them do it here, in a safe environment, rather than somewhere else like a cheap motel?"

"I'd rather they didn't drink at all, Matthew. Clay shouldn't with his medication, and Justin shouldn't be tempted." she zipped the bag closed.

"Which is why they both agreed to be designated sober hosts _should_ they even do that. Come on, this is a good group of kids, we know that now. Besides, when was the last time you and I took a weekend away someplace, even with a late start?"

Lainie picked up the bag and walked over to Matt. "I guess it's been a long time, hasn't it," she smiled. "And I suppose we could use a break also after everything, as much as they do."

They walked back downstairs and she dropped the bag near the front door. "They're going to have sex tonight, aren't they?"

Matt thought for a minute. "I'll go back up and lock our bedroom," he said, turning around and walking back up the stairs.

 

**********

 

Clay took the stairs up to Sheri's apartment two at a time. He had made this trip quite a few times now, and each time he was less nervous. Mrs. Holland really liked him, and the one time he met Sheri's father, he seemed to approve as well. Tonight? Well, that was different. They would be together in the same place, at the same time. And, it was Prom night.

"Okay...okay...stay calm. Brain, please don't flip out on me. Here we go," he said to himself as he stood outside Sheri's door and knocked.  


"Clay, honey! My, don't you look handsome," Mrs. Holland said after opening the door and welcoming him in.

"Good evening, ma'am. Mr. Holland, sir," he greeted in his usual polite manner. "Thank you...I try to clean up," he smiled.

"How're you feeling, Clay? Sheri's kept us up to date with everything, we've all been worried about you," she asked, as any concerned parent would.

"I'm...better. I made a mistake in not asking for help earlier, and it's going to be a process. But...I have a lot more good days than bad, now," Clay said with a head nod, and praying that there wouldn't be a long conversation about his mental health. Thankfully, he was spared that, as Sheri entered the room.

"Oh...oh, wow. Just...oh, holy wow," Clay said. "Sheri...you look amazing..." Clay said. "Just like a princess."

"Does that make you my handsome prince, handsome guy?" she replied with a coy smile.

Clay blushed and gulped. Once again, corsage and boutonniere were exchanged and pinned, and pictures taken, and promises to have a good time and, yes, they'd call when they made it to the Jensens. As they walked back down that first flight of stairs, carefully because of heels, Clay stopped, much as they did a few weeks earlier.

"I think this is our spot. Well, one of them," he smiled.

"Oh is it now?"

"Mhmm," Clay replied before leaning in and kissing her deeply. "God, you look so beautiful," he whispered. They kissed for another minute or so, before a can horn could be heard in the distance, causing them both to laugh a little.

"We'd better go before Justin drives off," Sheri said.

"Good thing I have the keys," Clay smirked as he took her hand.

 

**********

 

The rest of the Gang was already at Jensen Central by the time the two couples got back:

Zach had been set up on several dates already with a friend of Jess' named Anne. 

Alex was there, cane and all, with Cyrus, who had thoughtfully taken out a few extraneous piercings for this evening. While "the talk" still had yet to occur, he explained that he was going with a larger group of dateless friends. If the Standalls suspected anything, they thoughtfully kept it to themselves.

Tony and Caleb were there, dashing in matching tuxedos. 

Ryan and Courtney decided to come as dates for the evening, because it just seemed to make sense. 

The only one missing was Scott, but he promised to meet up with everyone. If need be, he said, just Photoshop him into a group picture.

Just as before, pictures were indeed taken, of individual couples, of just the ladies, of just the guys, and then the group.

"Now, we'll be back tomorrow night. If you need anything, I mean anything, you call us," Lainie said to Clay, after about the hundredth snapshot was taken. "Remember, you can't drink with your medication."

"Mom, I won't. I promise. We're just going to chill here after, everyone else brought clothes to change into, it'll be fine."

"Okay. You know, I still have reservations about this...."

"I know you do. And hey...I appreciate you doing this for me. For us," he looked up at his father now as well. "I know I haven't been the greatest son in the world here lately, but..."

"Clay," Matt said, placing a hand on his son's shoulder. "Kiddo. What's in the past is in the past. We can't change that. All we can do is look to the future. A fresh start, for you, for our family, your friends...don't forget, a lot of this was out of your control."

Clay nodded. "Yeah. Still...I'm sorry all the same, and I really do appreciate you letting us have the house to ourselves tonight. I promise we won't burn it down or anything."

"Well. Okay, now that's gonna linger in the back of my mind...."

Meanwhile, Justin was walking Jessica over to Clay's car.

"Jess? I really do appreciate you coming with me tonight. It means so much to me. I really, really hope you like the New Justin," he said, holding her arm. "I really missed us being us. Thank you for giving me a chance to start over."

"You know something? I kind of like him already," she said. 

And for the first time in a very long time, perhaps ever, Justin Foley actually blushed.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Tony said, getting everyone's attention and taking charge in his usual manner. "We have dinner reservations in approximately fifteen minutes, so may I suggest we proceed? And then, on to the Prom. Into the cars, everyone."

Matt and Lainie watched as a small procession pulled away, waving back to their sons and the large group of friends that had become their extended family.

"There's so going to be some kind of sex going on tonight," Matt said.

 

 _You knew me better than I knew myself_  
_Somehow you always knew_  
_There'd come a day_  
_I'd put my toys away_  
  
_I was a fool traveling so far_  
_Only to find that home is where you are_  
_You are the way there, just let me stay there_  
_I'll have it all if most of all there's you_

-from "Most of All You," by Bill Medley

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, Mazers! Welcome back and thank you for reading Chapter Eighteen!
> 
> Many of you have indicated that you couldn't wait until we got to the Prom. Well, here we are! 
> 
> Truthfully, I could have gone into more detail with some of the parents, and I may handle that in one shots or even in a later chapter. Maybe even in Book Two of Maze. But i honestly wanted to keep the focus on our heroes as much as possible. 
> 
> Zach's date is pretty much, for now anyway, a one-time original character. Not sure yet how that will play out, but hey, the poor guy had to go with somebody to Prom!
> 
> Our song this time is one of the most underrated, lesser known, and frankly *beautiful* ones Ye Writer has ever heard, and I'd really like to know what you all think of it. I thought it fit Justin and Jess SO well. Here's a link to listen to it with all the lyrics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuWfJQpfUWM
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this Chapter, and as always I greatly appreciate your feedback, comments, and kudos! 
> 
> Stay tuned, we have a lot more Prom night to go! Clay and Justin will return in our next Chapter, coming soon!


	19. Something Just Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we attend the Liberty High School Junior-Senior Prom, 2018!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a warning for anything graphic per se, but two teenage boys have some talk regarding sex and birth control.

 

 

_I've been reading books of old_  
_The legends and the myths_  
_Achilles and his gold_  
_Hercules and his gifts_  
_Spider Man's control_  
_And Batman with his fists_  
_And clearly I don't see myself upon that list_

_But she said, where'd you wanna go?_  
_How much you wanna risk?_  
_I'm not looking for somebody_  
_With some superhuman gifts_  
_Some superhero_  
_Some fairy tale bliss_  
_Just something I can turn to_  
_Somebody I can kiss_

_I want something just like this_

 -from "Something Just Like This," by the Chainsmokers and Coldplay

 

 

**Friday Evening, Twenty Hours Before Prom**

The terms of Clay's sprint with Justin that evening were.....different.

Tony had dropped him off to pick up his car from the body shop while Justin got a ride home with Zach. Then, it was off to Dr. Ross to have the stitches in his hand taken out. He had made it home with plenty of time for a shorter run around the neighborhood with Justin before dinner. This time, as they were ready to sprint home as usual to determine who got the shower first, Justin tapped him on his sweaty arm, and headphones once more came out.

"If I win," he said, breathing heavily as they ran "you have to practice dancing. If you win, you don't."

"Wait...what?" Clay said in between breaths as well, a confused look coming to his face.

"You heard me...you practice dancing with me and some of the Gang. Deal?"

Clay's eyes went wide. "You...wouldn't...you didn't...."

Justin nodded and wiped some sweat out of his eyes. "Zach, Cyrus and Alex are coming over...probably Tony later."

"You've _got_ to be shitting me!"

"What? Afraid you'll lose?" Justin grinned as he started to run a little faster.

"Justin!" Clay picked up his pace as Justin turned around and smiled, running backwards.

"Do we have a deal?"

"Oh, fuck me..." Clay said as he started to run faster.

"That's a yes!" Justin yelled and laughed as he turned around and sprinted ahead.

So, that was what led to the current situation in their shared bedroom. Justin had moved furniture out of the way and off to the sides, and was now looking up several videos on YouTube. Meanwhile, Zach was standing next to the couch and giving Cyrus instructions with Alex.

"Okay...his good hand is going to be on your waist...yeah, like that. His left hand, either on your hip or...actually, maybe up on your shoulder. Good, yeah like that. That way you're kind of holding Alex up, and he can lean into you some if he needs to. Yeah, that's perfect. You shouldn't have any problem."

Cyrus nodded and led Alex back and forth a little bit. "Okay, cool...yeah, this will work. How do you know how to do this?"

"We've sort of done this before," Alex said as Zach smiled. "And see, this way, I can do this." He leaned forward into Cyrus, so that their cheeks could touch.

Meanwhile, Clay stood behind Justin, arms crossed and scowling, as different videos were being opened up on the laptop. "This is _so_ not fair. I feel like you cheated. Again."

"I did not," Justin replied in protest as he typed to search for another video. "Hey, you agreed and I won, fair and square."

"I never said yes!"

"No, but you started to run faster, and that's like...legal, or whatever. Okay." He straightened up and turned around. "Now, look. These are songs that are meant to be danced to in a group, and I don't mean like just jumping around and moshing or whatever. They're line dances. We've done them before, and tomorrow night you're gonna do them, too."

"Justin..."

"Ah! None of that. What are you gonna do if Sheri wants to get out there and do them? You can't sit at a table and just watch."

"Why not?" Clay was actually serious when he asked this.

"Clay, really?" Alex said, looking at him over Cyrus' shoulder. "I mean, even I used to do these and might still be able to do one or two. Don't be lame."

"See? Even Alex is gonna try. Come on, it's gonna be fun. Okay, so first we're gonna do the Cupid Shuffle." Justin turned and started up a video. "Just watch the video and then we'll practice."

"Yeah, dude," Cyrus said as he helped Alex to the couch so he could rest for a minute. "I can do this. Watch." He came to middle of the room and proceeded to demonstrate, making sure to wiggle his rear end a little more exaggeratedly when it was in Alex's line of sight, grinning over his shoulder. After a minute, Justin joined him, and then Zach.

"I can't believe I'm going to do this," Clay muttered as he dutifully lined up and alternated watching the computer screen and his friends. By the third round, although he still felt sort of silly, he was getting the hang of it. And, as much as he hated to admit it to himself....this _was_ fun. He smiled and laughed along with his friends, dancing in his room - something that, at the start of this hectic, awful, and still somewhat wonderful - at least here toward the end, all things considered - school year, he never would have imagined doing.

On that third round, Matt was walking past the open door on the way to his and Lainie's bedroom. He stopped and backed up, poking his head in and watching for a minute, before entering the room and joining in, unnoticed. Until it was time to turn to the right.

"Hi, dad. Dad?!"

To say that Clay was shocked was perhaps the understatement of the year.

"What? You don't remember your Uncle Luke's wedding three years ago? You sat at a table and watched."

"All right, dad!" Justin said with a big grin as he reached over and high-fived Matt. "See, dad can do it! Now, let's see how you two do with The Wobble."

"Oh, I think I can do this one!" Alex exclaimed as he got to his feet and joined the group. "I can lean on my cane....Cyrus and Zach can help me turn if I need it."

On round three of practicing The Wobble, Lainie had now come upstairs in search of her husband. And just like her husband had done, she watched from the door for a minute before joining in.

"MOM!"

There really wasn't a way to describe the shade of embarrassed red that Clay had turned, but it was quite red indeed.

"What? Your father and I used to love dancing in high school and college...Clay, you need to wiggle your hips more, watch Justin..."

By the time the group was on the second round of the Cha Cha Slide, Tony had let himself in, seeing as how no one was answering the door. After all, he knew where the spare key was hidden, under that small flower pot on the front porch.

"This...is unexpected," he said as he looked in the room and took off his jacket. "But you're doing the Cha Cha part all wrong, here, let the Latino show you...."

 

**Friday Night, Sixteen Hours Before Prom**

"I got you something today," Justin said, passing over a small plastic bag from Walplex.

Their friends having gone home, Clay and Justin had played some video games before deciding to turn in early, seeing as how the next day and night would be rather long. "Dude, what? You didn't have to buy me anything," Clay said, taking the bag from Justin. He opened it up and looked inside at its contents. His eyes went wide, and he closed the bag quickly.

"Really?"

"What?"

"I have condoms!"

Now, Old Justin probably would have immediately replied to this with some dirty jokes and teasing, maybe even going out of his way to embarrass Clay a little. But, this was the New Justin, after all, and New Justin really did care about and love the little dumbass he shared a bedroom with. His intentions, then, in making that purchase earlier in the day, asking Zach to stop at the mega-store so he could run in, were completely good in nature.

"Yeah....okay, so...no. I don't think the ones you have are going to work. I think you're going to need these," Justin said with sincerity, pointing at the bag.

Clay opened the bag again and brought the box out. "Why?"

"Okay, look..." Justin paused and walked over to close the bedroom door. "This is gonna sound...weird as shit. But, have you ever put a condom on before? Like, tried one on when you're jacking off or whatever?"

"Justin, good Lord..."

"Clay, this is important, I'm being serious." His tone and the look on his face indicated he was. "Every guy has done that at least once. Just answer me. Have you ever put a condom on before?"

"Well....yeah," Clay could feel his cheeks flushing.

"And?"

"And....what?" he asked, confused.

"Did it fit?"

Clay thought for a moment. "Uh...not really, no. It was sort of hard to get on. Like, it was too tight."

Justin nodded. "Okay then. That's why you need those."

Clay held up the box that was labeled Trojan Magnum. "This is a joke, right?"

"No, it's not, Clay. I'm being all big brother right now. Look, I know I give you shit and kid around about your dick. But listen...it's big. Okay? And I've only seen you hanging soft, I can only imagine what it looks like....well, anyway. _If_ you do have sex tomorrow night...and, please, bro, you really do need to get laid...you're gonna be better off wearing one of those. The ones you have will be too uncomfortable and you won't enjoy it, or it'll break. And I want you to be safe with Sheri. Now, unless you want to take a chance at me being an uncle already..."

"Oh my God, can you imagine," Clay giggled. "Uncle Justin. No, I don't think either one of us is ready for that. I don't think the _universe_ is ready for that."

"Okay, then," Justin grinned for just a second before becoming serious again. "So. Be smart, and use those. Okay?"

Clay thought again and nodded. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, man."

"You're welcome," Justin said as he went over to the couch and sat down and took off his socks. Clay thought for another minute or two as he looked at the box of condoms before opening a desk drawer and placing them inside.

It's not that Clay _didn't_ want to have sex. He did. He was a teenager, after all, and it seemed like just about everyone he knew had done it...well, maybe except for Alex...and in a sense, he was feeling kind of left out. It was stupid to think that, he knew, and his self-confidence with girls in general, while it hadn't been spectacular through his high school experience, was slowly getting better. He'd made the attempt with Skye, a couple of times, and while the spirit and the flesh were both willing, that was fleeting. True, there had been other reasons as to why those times didn't work out, upset as he was about Hannah. But upon reflection, he knew that it just wasn't right to begin with. Looking back, he knew that he shouldn't have even tried with Skye, due to both of their mental states at the time.

Even now, he wasn't so sure he should even try with Sheri, but for a different reason.

True, his mental health still wasn't the best or where it should be, but at least he could admit that to himself this time, he was in therapy (he really came to like Stanley Keyworth) and taking his medications. In short, he was in a much better place. But with Skye, who he still cared for and considered a friend, even though she was all the way across the country, it was as if the two of them were seeking out the companionship and the potential of sex as some kind of a replacement for something else in their lives. With Sheri, well, he  _truly_ liked her, almost to the point of saying that other "L" word, which he had come close to doing more than once on their dates over the last few weeks.

No, the reason was, if he was going to have sex with her - and a big part of him, no pun intended, _really_ wanted to - he wasn't altogether sure how to proceed. The basics he of course knew...it was all of the other things, like how to get started, how to make sure your partner was enjoying it as well, how to make it special. Watching clips on Pornhub...well, that wasn't real _,_ that was just fantasy.

At least he had someone in his life now that he could open up to about this, as embarrassing as it might be to do so.

 _I'm going to ask Justin Foley for sex advice,_ he thought to himself. _There's something I never thought I'd ever live to see. Well...if there's a New Justin, maybe there can be a New Clay...._

"Hey....Justin?"

"Yeah?" Justin was now fluffing up his pillow.

"So.... _if_ Sheri and I have sex. Like...what should I....how should I....like, where do I start?" he asked, trying not to stumble over his words. "Skye and I...we sort of tried, a couple of times...and it didn't work out very well."

"I remember, you told me. And I remember you told me why it didn't work." Justin replied.

"Right, yeah. So....okay, I get the...mechanics of it..."

"Mechanics?" Justin laughed.

"Okay, if you're just going to laugh at me, then we don't have to talk about it," Clay said, flustered, turning around and walking over to his bed.

"No, no, wait, Clay," Justin said, regretting immediately what he had done. "Hey...you're right, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laughed. C'mere, sit down," Justin pat the couch next to him. "You can ask me stuff, it's fine."

Clay sighed and came over, sitting next to Justin. "Just...don't make fun of me, okay? Please?"

"No, I won't. Promise." He took a breath before continuing. "Okay. So....first thing is to make sure Sheri really wants to, obviously. Don't, like, force her into anything, and if she says no or she says she doesn't like something, then you stop. And you want to make her feel good, too, it's not only about you. Listen to her, ask her what she likes, don't be afraid. Like...talk as you're doing things, it's okay to do that. And be gentle, that's really important, don't get all grabby and rough..."

And for another hour, the brothers to be sat up and talked, one giving honest and sincere advice to the other. Any embarrassment that Clay may have had regarding this was soon forgotten, and as questions were asked and answered, their bond became that much closer and stronger.

 

**Prom Night 2018, Dinner**

Most places in town were booked to capacity this Saturday night, as high school couples mixed in with the usual patrons who had been unlucky enough to choose _this_ particular Saturday to go out for dinner. Clay had had the foresight to book reservations well in advance at the seafood restaurant on the harbor, but even with those, it was taking some time to get a large enough table cleared away and their group seated. So, they waited just inside the entrance, seated on benches or standing around and making idle conversation. Justin, who although  would pretty much eat whatever was put in front of him at the Jensen house, and was always grateful, wasn't exactly knowledgeable when it came to seafood, short of canned tuna or whatever was in the sushi that Matt would bring home for dinner every once and awhile, or some kind of fish that Lainie would make on occasion. But past that? Not all that much, at least not beyond some of the basics. As a result, he had asked the hostess for a menu, and was pondering it off to the side.

"Did it hurt? Getting the stitches out?" Sheri had been holding Clay's right hand in her left as they sat and talked, and she now held up that hand to take a closer look at the two scars that crisscrossed the top of it.

"No, it wasn't too bad. It actually felt like tugging more than anything else. My hand is still a little sore, but it's getting a lot better," he replied.

"Well, good," she brought the hand up and kissed it. "There. All better." Clay smiled and leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Hey...Clay?" Justin came over to them, looking at the menu with a confused look on his face. "Whats....chopinio?" he asked, pronouncing it wrong.

"Cippinio. It's a fish stew."

"Oh. Okay." He turned around and walked back, still reading.

"Anyway," Clay resumed their conversation, "I hear the colors tonight include purple and metallic gold, so I think I should blend right in nicely," he said, indicating the color of his tie and vest.

"So, basically, if there's a big thing of purple, all we'll see is your eyes," Sheri laughed.

"Something like that, yes. Should come in handy if I need to hide for some reason," Clay laughed along.

"Hey....Clay?" Justin was back. "What's...cal...cala..?"

"Calamari. It's squid."

"You can eat squid?" he looked up from the menu at Clay.

"Yep. It's cut up and deep fried."

"Huh. Okay." He again turned around and walked away.

Clay shook his head. "So, yeah, mom and dad should be on the road by now, and we'll have plenty of room for anyone who wants to stay the night..."

"Hey...Clay?" Justin had come back over again.

"Oh my God...yes, Justin?"

"Whats....bis-q?"

"Bisque. It's soup. You know what, give me the menu," he said, taking it from Justin as it was handed over. Clay looked at it, scanning the list of items, Sheri leaning over and glancing as well. "Here...fish and chips. Classic dish. You'll love it."

"Yeah?" Justin asked, taking back the menu.

"Yes."

"You sure?"

Just as Clay opened his mouth, and was about to say something regarding the children's portion of the menu, the hostess had come out. "Jensen, party of twelve, your table is now available!"

"Oh, thank Christ," Clay said under his breath as he got to his feet and, ever the gentleman, held out his hand for Sheri as she did the same.

"I've said it before, but you two are way too cute together," Sheri said to him.

"That's one way of putting it," he replied, shaking his head.

Orders were placed not too long after they were seated, and conversation continued. "Hey, Tony," Clay leaned to his left. "You... said you talked to the DJ, right?"

Tony nodded. "Yep. I know the guy, he's good at what he does."

"Yeah...but...I mean, did you...ask him?"

Tony brought his arm up and pulled Clay over for a quick side hug. "I did. He's not going to play that song. You don't have to worry about anything but having fun."

"Okay. Thanks, man." Clay said, relieved.

"Anytime, brother."

As the food was served, Clay looked around the table. He'd been thinking of what he was about to do for the last couple of days, and now was the perfect time. "Hey, Gang," he said, getting their attention. "Before we start to eat, I'd like to say something real fast." He took a breath before continuing. "So...this has been one hell of a year, to say the least. We've all come through, like...a maze of moments to get to where we are now. But...we're here. We made it. All of us. I think it's safe to say that we couldn't have done it without each other....I know I wouldn't have been able to if it weren't for each of you, in one way or the other. I'm really lucky to have you all in my life, and we're all lucky to have one another. Now, I don't think we're supposed to do this with, like, soda or water or iced tea, but I think it'll be all right. So...a toast. To the Deranged, Over-Protective Scooby Gang...to us. And....to absent friends...to Hannah... and Jeff... and Tyler," he said, raising his glass.

"Here, here," Tony said, raising his own, followed by the others as they each took a drink.

The toast having been made, Justin picked up his fork and looked down at his plate. "Clay, dude....why didn't you just say these were, like, really big fish fingers and french fries? I mean, they look really good and all, but still..."

"Just eat, Justin," Clay laughed.

"Why is your broccoli all white?"

"It's cauliflower, Justin....."

 

**The Liberty High School Junior-Senior Prom, 2018**

 

The Crestmont Convention Center had been rented out for this evening, rather than having Prom at the school. The main hall was decorated, as Clay had noted earlier, in swaths of purple and metallic gold, accented with black and magenta, fitting in with the theme of the One Thousand and One Nights. An ancient Arabian city was silhouetted all along the walls and snaked around to the main entrance, accented by small gold light bulbs, and punctuated by turrets every few feet. Felt palm trees, leaves and trunks glittered in purple, stood nearly nine feet tall and were strategically placed around the large room and in between tables. A projector shone a half moon and brilliant stars up on the ceiling, and the light they cast shimmered down on the students. There were even "magic carpets" that looked to be floating high above them, held up by strong and virtually invisible fishing wire. It was a impressive sight, and gave one the feeling that they had been transported back in time, to a land of fantasy and magic, when stories of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, Sinbad the Sailor, and the magical Genie of the Lamp captured the imaginations of children and adults alike as they heard them for the very first time.

"A Whole New World" from Aladdin was even playing through some speakers in the lobby on the way to the main hall, and the DJ planned to play songs like "Fly Me to The Moon," and "Come Fly With Me."

"Wow...they really did a great job. It's so pretty," Jessica said to Justin as she looked around, and was led inside, arm through his.

"Yeah...this really is cool," he nodded, looking around him as well. "It's like...fantasy land, or whatever."

"That's about five hours south of us," Alex said from behind as he walked in with Cyrus. "But, this is close enough."

"Maybe we should go there this summer," Cyrus suggested. "We could have one hell of a road trip."

"Where?" Justin asked.

"Disneyland, man."

Justin's eyes opened wide and he smiled at the prospect. "Dude, that would be _awesome_! I've never been!"

"All of us on a road trip. Together. Are you people trying to make me crazy?" Tony had overheard the proposal, and his reply caused Caleb to laugh.

"Hey, it's not a bad idea, big papi. Think of how much fun..." Zach asked.

"What did I tell you about calling me that, Dempsey?" Tony interrupted.

"Easy, tiger," Zach grinned.

"Well, personally I'd prefer Disney  _World_ but that's just me," Ryan added.

"Ohhh..." Courtney turned to look at her escort for the evening. "They have the Animal Kingdom!"

"I am not driving to Florida with you all, don't get any ideas," Tony stated.

"Why would we be driving to Florida?" Clay and Sheri had finally come into the hall and had only caught the tail end of the conversation.

"Dude, we should totally go to Disney this summer!" Justin exclaimed.

"In...Florida."

"No, dumbass, the one here!"

"How about we get through tonight, first."

 

**********

 

Two tables, each capable of seating six people, were found next to one another, and this is where the Gang chose to make camp, as it were, for the evening.

"Did you want anything to drink? They have bottles of water, and what looks like punch that's a color of orange that doesn't occur in nature,' Clay asked Sheri, as they staked their claim.

She shook her head 'no' in reply. "Come on," she said, taking his hand and walking towards the dance floor.

"O-okay..." he agreed, and off they went, the others joining them.

And with that, to the sounds of "Perfect," by Ed Sheeran, a completely appropriate song for their first dance of the evening, Clay took Sheri in his arms, smiled at her, and tuned out everything and everyone else around him, lost in her eyes and her returned smile. It was just the two of them, right then and there, as far as he was concerned. All of the horrors of the last year, all of the trauma, all of the chaos, simply melted away in that first dance. For the first time in a very long time, Clay Jensen was truly happy. He even began to sing along, just loud enough for her and her alone to hear, causing her to come in closer and put her head on his chest, just under his neck. He closed his eyes, and gently rested his head close to hers. Their friends looked over at them and smiled, joining in his happiness.

"That...is just way too cute," Jessica whispered to Justin.

"He deserves it. They both do," Justin agreed. "You know....you look perfect tonight, too, Jessica."

"Well, thank you, New Justin. You're not so bad looking tonight yourself." She kissed his cheek to punctuate that, and for probably the second time in his life, Justin Foley blushed.

"So...I guess this is my coming out to the rest of the school," Alex said as he swayed along with Cyrus. "Yours, too."

"Are you okay with that?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah. You know what, after everything else that's happened this year, if this is what they decide to talk about...I'm more than okay with that."

"Well, Sexy Lexy...that makes two of us." Cyrus agreed, kissing Alex, leading to a few whoops and shouts of "All right, Standall!" from some of the people around them.

"Your friends are quite special, you know that?" Caleb asked Tony, smiling at him.

"You mean our friends, _mi amor_. If you think you're escaping their clutches, you're crazy."

After a few more dances, some slow, a few fast, Clay and Sheri began to make their way off the floor, when the first strands of The Wobble started to play from behind them.

"Do you want to sit down?" she said, loud enough to be heard over the music.

 _Here we go_ , he thought to himself. _Now or never._

"Nah, c'mon!" he replied excitedly as he led her back.

"You sure?" she asked, a little surprised.

"Positive...at least I think so...before I change my mind!"

And with that, they lined up with their friends in one of the rows. Justin looked over at Clay and smiled that smile, and Clay reciprocated. All that practice the night before paid off.

 

**********

 

"Jess? May I?" Clay held out his hand as another slower song had come on.

"Why, yes, you may, Mr. Jensen," she answered, taking it and getting up from the table.

"Hey, you can't just take my date and dance with her," Justin laughed.

"Watch me," Clay said.

"Well...fine! Sheri?"

"That's fair," she said, taking Justin's hand.

 

**********

 

"Did you ever think you and I would be here, right now?" Clay asked Sheri as they danced to "Fly Me to The Moon."

"At the Prom?"

"Well....yes. But, more than that. Just.....the dating thing."

"Yes."

"Wow....really?"

"Really. I told you, I've thought a lot about that day at your house. I hated the circumstances...but I thought about you, a lot. But you're getting one thing wrong just now."

 _Oh fuckity fuck fuck shit fuck_ Clay thought, a panicked look coming across his face. "I...I'm sorry, I didn't...wait....wh...what did I get wrong?" he asked, somewhat confused.

"You keep using the word 'dating.' "

"Buuuut....isn't that what we're doing?"

"We are. But I'm with who I want to be with. Aren't you?"

"Definitely!"

"Okay," she smiled, waiting for the light bulb to go off in Clay's head. Which, it eventually did as Frank Sinatra was wrapping up.

"Oh. OH! So...like...we're...."

"Hey, boyfriend," she smiled again, kissing his cheek.

 

**********

 

Zach had come over to grab a bottle of water from the drink and snack area, and met up with Scott.

"Where's your date, man?" he asked.

"I...have no idea. She sort of disappeared sometime after the Wobble. I think she's over there with some of her friends," he laughed, pointing his own water in that general direction. "Where's yours?"

"Doing the exact same thing."

Clay came over to join them. "Hey, guys," he said a little out of breath.

"There he is, Fred Astaire," Scott said.

"Who knew, right? Didn't know you had it in you, man."

"Yeah, well," he took a drink of water, "my  _GIRLFRIEND_ brings out the best in me, what can I say," he said with a big grin.

"Cheers to that," Zach agreed. "Wait. What??"

The trio spoke for a couple of minutes, until they were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Hey...Clay."

Bryce Walker had come to join them, causing Scott and Zach to put their water down and stand up straight and slightly in front of Clay.

"Take it easy, guys...I don't want any trouble. I just want to say something to Jensen," Bryce assured, raising up his hands.

Clay closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, slowly. "It's...okay, guys. Let him talk."

"Look. All I want to say is...respect, man. You're a worthy adversary. I still think you're a pain in the ass, and my ass in particular, but...respect, all the same. That's all." He turned and walked away.

"Well. That was....weird. You okay?" Scott asked Clay.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine. What was that all about?"

"No clue," Zach said. "But he sounded really drunk."

"Wouldn't surprise me....Chloe looked pretty pissed earlier. Okay, make sure to keep Justin away from him...you too, Clay. Better to just avoid altogether."

"Yeah, for sure." Clay nodded.

"I'll give the others a heads up," Zach said, walking off to find Tony.

 

**********

 

Alex was now with Jess on the dance floor, very much as they were during the Spring Fling nearly two months earlier.

"So...you know, I really am sorry for leading you on. I know I said it before and all..."

"Alex, it's fine, really. I promise. I'm really very happy for you, and for Cyrus."

"You're sure?"

"Would I be dancing with your ass right now if I wasn't?"

"Very good point," Alex nodded.

 

**********

 

"This is so...hetero normative," Ryan said to Courtney as they sat at the table, taking a break.

"I agree. But, there's plenty of LGBTQ couples out there. We're one of them. Alex and Cyrus are another."

"True. Want to critique some of the dresses?"

"Oh my God, I thought you'd never ask..."

 

**********

 

Cyrus held his hand out with a grin.

"Yeah, okay. But I lead." Tony said, taking it and walking out to the dance floor with him.

 

*********

 

"Versace on the Floor" was now playing, and Justin brought Jess in towards him a little closer.

"I'm so glad you said yes," he said quietly.

"Me too. This has been a really great time."

"Jess?"

"What?"

"Would you...go out with me, next weekend? Like, on a real date?"

"You know...did we ever go on, like, a real, official date?" she asked.

"That's a good question. I'm not one hundred percent certain we did. Like, not on a date, date. But, New Justin doesn't want it to be like that, this time, he wants to..."

"Okay, seriously. The third person thing," she laughed.

"Yeah, okay," he laughed also. "But...for real. Would you like to go out with me next weekend?"

"Still just as friends, for now?"

"Of course..."

"Then, yes."

"Okay," Justin smiled.

 

**********

 

Tuxedo jackets had come off as the night went on. Clay held Sheri's hand as they made their way back to dance once last time, as the event was slowly starting to wind down.

"Good thing we took pictures before we started to get sweaty," she laughed.

The next song was "Something Just Like This," and she listened to the words carefully. "You know...I feel like this could be our song."

"Really?" Clay replied, a thoughtful look on his face. But then he listened as well:

 _I've been reading books of old_  
_The legends and the myths_  
_The testaments they told_  
_The moon and its eclipse_  
_And Superman unrolls_  
_A suit before he lifts_  
_But I'm not the kind of person that it fits_

 _She said, where'd you wanna go?_  
_How much you wanna risk?_  
_I'm not looking for somebody_  
_With some superhuman gifts_  
_Some superhero_  
_Some fairy tale bliss_  
_Just something I can turn to_  
_Somebody I can miss_

 

  _I want something just like this_  
_I want something just like this_

 

"Hmmm. You might be right," he smiled.

"Oh, I know I am," she smiled back, bringing her lips to his and kissing him, and keeping that kiss through the remainder of the song. When it and the kiss was over, he rubbed his nose against hers gently, just as he had done the night of their first date, and she reached up and ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his head, knowing how much he loved that.

"I...umm....I kinda..."

"What?" she asked.

"I kinda....want to say something...."

"Okay...?'

"Sheri, I....I love you."

"I love you, too, handsome guy."

"A Whole New World" started to play, the DJ announcing it as the last dance of the night. Just as they had when the Prom had started, the rest of the Gang came out to the floor. Even Zach and Scott, who had found their dates. Together, they took up the center of the dance floor, the twinkling lights from the faux stars above them reflecting off of them as they danced and smiled.

It was, as Clay had hoped, a perfect night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed your night at the Prom! More importantly, thank you for reading Chapter Nineteen of Maze! So, couple of quick notes for this one, Mazers!
> 
> \- The sex talk between Clay and Justin I wanted to be semi-funny, but mostly serious, with Justin being all protective and caretaker!Justin, and I hope I pulled it off. The whole "Clay is well endowed" part of our story has been used for giggles here and there, but I thought it interesting to use that in this context when it came for Justin to have "the talk."
> 
> \- Okay. So maybe Justin does know a lot more about seafood. Personally, I think that because of his previous circumstances, he would indeed have been unfamiliar with most of it, and simply would chalk it up to calling it all just fish and tuna.
> 
> \- Maaayyyyyybe one or two seeds or some kind of foreshadowing was planted in this chapter. We shall see!
> 
> Okay, we have a bit more of Prom night to go, the gathering at the Jensen home! Now, I like this story being for general audiences. That said...yes, we'll have our usual next installment, but, I'm thinking about a completely stand alone story that will be the more "mature/explicit" version of chapter twenty. 
> 
> Will Clay finally get laid? What did Alex mean a couple of chapters back when he said something about making it up to Cyrus on Prom night? What, if anything, will Bryce do? The answers to those questions....and did someone mention karaoke? No? Well, we have now!...are coming in our next chapter!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, your kudos, comments, and feedback! Let me know if you all *really* want something more mature in the comments below! Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return for the rest of this amazing Prom night, coming soon!


	20. Hymn for the Weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Prom night concludes! Justin admits how lucky he is with his new found family, and Karaoke is sung!
> 
> And there's some serious snugglebunnies going on. Like. Major snugglebunnies. Big time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for (underage) teens having straight and gay sex. The implication of it, anyway.
> 
> The one shot story "Demons" comes directly before this Chapter, for context.

 

 _Oh, angel sent from up above_  
_You know you make my world light up_  
_When I was down, when I was hurt_  
_You came to lift me up_  
_Life is a drink and love's a drug_  
_Oh, now I think I must be miles up_  
_When I was a river dried up_  
_You came to rain a flood_

 - from "Hymn For The Weekend," by Coldplay

 

 

It was now just past one in the morning on this Sunday, the Prom having ended an hour earlier, and the Gang had arrived at the Jensen home. Zach had to drop his date for the evening off, owing to her parents enforcing a strict curfew, but he had caught up to them and had only been a minute or two behind. Scott also begged off, due to obligations he had later that day, but promised to set aside some time to hang out during finals week.

Several of them brought in overnight bags containing clothes to change into and assorted toiletries. The original plan was for them to have been there by now, but Clay's panic attack had delayed them some. Still, that had passed, he was feeling much better, if still a little flustered after what had happened, and it was now time to get on with the remainder of their night. Matt and Lainie had left earlier that evening, even if she still had a few reservations, so that they could have the house to themselves and continue to celebrate. To that end, as they walked inside and Justin turned on several lights, Clay found a note waiting for them on the kitchen table, and what he found indicated that his mother had come around fully to the idea, probably after talking some more to her husband about it.

"Whatcha got there?" Cyrus asked, walking in behind with Alex, as Clay opened the folded piece of paper. He read his mother's flowing handwriting and smiled, then called everyone else in.

"Listen to this," he said, reading out loud to everyone:

 

_Dear “Scooby” Gang,_

_We hope you had a wonderful time tonight at the Prom! We’re so proud of each of you, and the way that you have come together as a group of friends, look out for, and care for each other. Please know that our home is always your home, too! So, with that in mind, you’ll find two air mattresses and a sleeping bag for whomever would like to use them in the spare room upstairs, the couch in the living room is available, and so is the smaller one in the office, and there are plenty of extra blankets and pillows for you all to use. Clay knows where they are._

_You’ll also find a stack of heat and eat pizzas in the fridge. Now, we want you to be safe but also celebrate just a little bit, so there are also two bottles of champagne in there. Next to them are two bottles of sparkling grape juice which are for Clay and Justin. We also have plenty of things to make for breakfast.  
_

_We love you all and think of you as family. Please try not to wreck the place too badly! We’ll be back tomorrow late afternoon or early evening. Have fun and please be safe!  
_

_With much love,_

_Matt and Lainie aka Clay and Justin’s mom and dad_

_p.s. C &J…stick to the grape juice…we expect Tony to give us a report_

 

 Clay looked at Tony and smirked. "So you're like...chaperone, or something?"

"I prefer to think of myself as the hall monitor," he replied. "and the sole voice of reason."

"That's an apt job for you, big papi," Zach grinned over at his friend.

"Dempsey...how many times have I told you...." Tony started as the group began to laugh a little. "Okay, okay. Why don't we get changed and comfortable, get something to eat, and figure out what's next. Ladies, there is a bathroom on this floor, as you all know. Guys, we can go upstairs in that one or in Clay's room or whatnot. Justin...you don't have to raise your hand, just say it or ask."

" _Our_ room," he said with a grin.

"Yes. Clay and Justin's room. I stand corrected. So, let's....really, Standall?" he said to Alex, who was now raising his own hand.

"Yeah..so my leg is actually a little tired...what if I don't want to try to walk up and down the stairs?" he asked, semi-jokingly.

Tony sighed and looked at Cyrus. "You two can use the office. Okay, let's get....Jess, I really expected better from you...yes?"

Jess lowered her hand. "Can we make coffee after we eat? I don't know about anyone else, but I'll probably need some.

"I don't see why not. Now, if...oh _Dios bueno_  what, Ryan?"

Ryan lowered his hand. "Courtney and I will have to take off after we eat." This led Courtney to raise her own hand and nod in agreement.

"And?"

"Oh, nothing, I just thought I'd tell you is all," he smiled.

Tony sighed and turned his head slowly as he looked at Clay. "Seriously? You _live_ here..."

"I'd like to know what kind of fun activities you have planned for us," he grinned, lowering his hand. "Can we play Go Fish and Uno?"

" _Tu gente me va a volver loco!_ "

"Is that like, a Spanish game," Sheri teased as she raised her hand.

Zach raised his hand, beating Cyrus to it. "Do I need a pass if I need to use the bathroom?"

"Dude, that's what I was gonna say! Well, I'm going to raise my hand anyway just for the hell of it," and Cyrus did just that.

Tony opened his mouth and was about to say something else in Spanish, but Caleb interjected before he could. "Why...don't we all get changed and meet back here in a few minutes. Okay? C'mon, Tone, you're turning a little red," he said, leading Tony out of the room, several of the guys following.

"These people..they are seriously going to make me crazy. Do you see what I have to put up with?" he said to his boyfriend.

"We love you, Tony!" Sheri, Courtney and Jess called from down the hall.

"Ooh, Mr. Padilla! Can we play fun board games?"

"Clayton....hush," Tony said as he grabbed his bag and started to climb the stairs.

" _Clayton_?" Justin looked over at his brother and grinned.

"What? That's my name."

" _Clayton?!"_

"Clay is short for Clayton. And, no, you can't call me that," Clay said.

"Why not?" Justin laughed as they began to walk up the stairs.

"Because if you do, I'll call you 'Justy' or 'Juju.' Got it?"

"....got it."

Tony, Ryan and Caleb went into the spare room that was going to be transformed into Justin's bedroom over the summer, Zach ducked into the bathroom, and Clay and Justin were now in their room, changing out of their tuxedos.

"Hey, for real. How're you feeling?" Justin asked as he undid his bow tie.

"I'm better," Clay said, unbuttoning his vest. "That...the firecrackers, I wasn't expecting them and they caught me off guard."

"All right. Now, you know the rules. We have to tell mom and dad when they get home, and you have to tell Keyworth," Justin said as he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off of him.

"No, I know. Hey...thanks again. I'm glad you were there to help." Clay had now taken off his vest, lowered his suspenders, and was unbuttoning his own shirt. "It...I think it could have been a real bad one if you weren't."

"No lie, bro, it was pretty fucking close. You scared me there for a little bit."

Clay sighed and sat on his bed at hearing that, looking a little sad. "Fuck. And I was doing so good this week. Like, I could keep control and all."

"Hey," Justin said, folding his pants and draping them over the desk chair. "What did we talk about? One, we're all here to help. Two, these are gonna happen sometimes." He sat next to Clay on the bed and put an arm around him. "You're fine now, and that's all that matters. Yeah?"

Clay nodded and did his side smile. "Yeah," he said, bending over to take off his socks. "I know. It still sucks, though. Oh. Hey. So...um...so, is Jess, like, staying the night?"

Justin got back up, walking over to the closet in his boxers. "Yeah, I think she said she was. Why?"

"Okay. So...a) where is she going to sleep, and, b) where are you going to sleep?"

"Oh. Well...I mean I guess she can pick wherever, like if she wants the big couch, that's cool and all. And why wouldn't I sleep in here?" he asked, taking a t-shirt off the top shelf.

Clay cleared his throat.

"What?"

He cleared it again, which lead to Justin turning around and looking at him.

"What? What's wrong with....OH! Oh, fuck...I never thought this through....you're gonna..."

Clay held up his hands. "I don't know that yet for sure...but I call dibs!"

"You're seriously calling dibs on your own room."

" _Our_ room," Clay grinned.

Justin got quiet for a minute and thought. "So...how comfortable are those air mattresses anyway?"

 

**********

 

As Cyrus closed the door to Matt's office, Alex sat down on the small couch and began to undo his leg brace.

"You okay?" Cyrus asked as he came over and pulled his bow tie out from underneath his shirt collar.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. It really is a little tired is all, and I didn't feel like walking up and down the stairs. It's all good," he smiled over.

"Cool, good. You looked so hot tonight." Cyrus was now taking off his jacket.

"So did you. Ummm."

"What?"

"It's just that....we've never...."

"What?" Cyrus asked again as he began to unbutton his shirt.

"We've...never taken our clothes off in front of each other...."

"Oh. Well, I mean....I can wait outside until you're done...if you want."

Alex shook his head. "Actually....." he pushed himself up from the couch, and Cyrus came over to help steady him. Once there, Alex smiled and continued what Cyrus had started.

"Are you sure?" Cyrus said as he was being undressed.

"Shhhh..." Alex kissed him as he undid the buttons one by one.

Once the shirt was undone, Cyrus shrugged it off and it fell to the floor behind him. He then began to reciprocate for Alex, looking him in the eyes and smiling back at him as he opened each button slowly and pushed the shirt off, leaned in closer, and as Alex tilted his head to the right and closed his eyes, began to gently kiss his neck. Alex wet his lips and sucked in a quick breath before Cyrus made his way up and their lips met.

"Wanna have some quick fun?" Cyrus whispered with a smirk.

"Right now?" Alex whispered back.

"Why not? The girls are gonna freshen up, Clay and Justin are probably talking, and you know how long they can take....I mean...only if you want to, that is."

"What kind of quick fun did you have in mind?" Alex asked, a little out of breath and flushed.

"This kind," Cyrus replied as his kissed Alex's neck again. And then began to kiss and lick his way down...over his clavicle...then over to his left nipple, flicking his tongue over it quickly as he grinned up at Alex, who now had his eyes closed and was panting, mouth open. Then, a trail of kisses over to the right nipple where the same was repeated. After that, it was down the stomach, pressing his lips gently as he knelt down. From there, he guided Alex so that he could sit back down on the couch, and once that was done, grinned up at him again and wagged his eyebrows before kissing the obvious erection that had formed in Alex's pants.

 

**********

 

Zach stretched his arms over his head as he came down the stairs, causing his t-shirt to rise up just a little. As he pulled it down and turned to his right, he heard the muffled voice of Alex from down the opposite hallway:

"Oh my _fucking_ God....!"

He quickly turned, automatically thinking that his friend was hurt or in trouble of some kind, and was about to make his way down that hall....until he heard Cyrus making a "shhhh!" sound and giggling, followed up by Alex moaning just a bit quieter.

Zach's eyes went wide as he stopped in mid-stride, and turned back around.

"What's up?" Jess asked as she came out of the bathroom.

"Uhhh....hey, I saw the speaker...how about we send some music to it. And turn up the volume?"

 

**********

 

It only took a few minutes for everyone to get changed and freshen up, and they rendezvoused back in the kitchen. Well. All but two of them.

"Well," Clay said as he opened the oven and put two pizzas in," these won't take too long to bake, so I'm gonna start them. What's taking Cy and Alex so long?"

"Uh...I mean, with his leg and all...takes a couple extra minutes," Zach tried to explain.

"Either that or they're messing around," Justin said, opening the refrigerator to take out the champagne. As he turned around he saw that everyone else was looking at him. "What? Oh, like we don't do this. Geez, you guys. If they want to get a quick grab in, I say let them." He went back, this time to get the Welch's.

"Young Justin...we gays do _not_ simply get a 'quick grab' in," Ryan started to explain.

"Speak for yourself," Tony interjected, causing Caleb to snicker.

"Okay!" Clay interrupted Ryan's potential comeback. "So, there's also water and soda, and we have snack stuff also while we wait for the pizzas. I put two in the oven, I think that's good to start with, they're large..."

"So are other things," Justin said with a grin as he now went to get glasses out of the cabinet.

 "...AND IF WE NEED TO....we'll make a couple more," Clay finished, narrowing his eyes at Justin. "They won't take too long, so make yourselves comfortable."

After ten or so more minutes, Alex and Cyrus finally rejoined the rest, and as they came into the kitchen, conversations stopped.

"Um. Hi." Alex said. He looked _very_ relaxed. "Sorry 'bout that...we uh...."

"Alex. He....uh.....he needed....help," Cyrus said. "With his leg. Leg help."

"Which one? OW!" Justin said before his arm was smacked by Clay.

Now that they had all reassembled, champagne and juice was poured, and a toast was once more made.

"It sucks that you can't have any of the real thing," Sheri said to Clay, who shrugged in return.

"I don't mind," he said with a smile, giving her a quick kiss.

"So," Zach whispered to Alex as Cyrus went over to talk to Courtney and Caleb. "How was it?"

"Oh my God, Zach, shut up!" Alex whispered back.

"Hey, it's cool...you know you can tell me whatever."

Alex made sure Cyrus wasn't looking. "He gives _amazing_ head," he whispered again. "And that's all I'm telling you."

"Nice, bro," he said, clinking Alex's glass with his own.

"Hey, you...what's wrong," Jess said to Justin, who was looking at the contents of his glass.

"Hmm? Oh. No, nothing's wrong. I was just thinking is all. Y'know....it wasn't all that long ago that on a night like this.... I'd be, like, drunk and high by now. Really drunk, and very high. Old Justin was a real asshole. And like...I'm having such a good time with you all....and I don't need to be drunk or high. It's....kinda nice. You know? Like...you all are my friends and you don't judge me or whatever. You all like me...for me. With the other ones...Bryce and them...not you or Alex, Zach....but with them I always felt like I didn't belong when it came down to it, like I was this outsider or something. With you all....I really feel like I belong somewhere, maybe for the first time ever. It's like, I've got this great big family now with all of you, and Clay and our folks of course. Before...I mean, my mother...I guess she loved me in her own way, but there was always other....fuck, I don't know what I'm trying to say. I guess...it....it just feels....like, really good," he said with a nod. "I really, really like this. Us."

"To New Justin," Clay said, raising his glass, smiling at his brother.

"New Justin," Tony agreed, as glasses were raised once more in a toast, causing Justin to smile.

 

**********

 

It was now well after two, pizzas and various snacks like chips and cookies having been consumed. Alex kept going for more than his two allotted chocolate chip cookies, but Cyrus intercepted him each time.

"Now, you know your mother would go apeshit if she found out about this to begin with. For all she knows you're eating a salad right now," he explained as he stopped him for the third time.

"But she's not here! And you won't tell, would you? Pleeeeeaaaasseeeee?" he begged with puppy dog eyes. "If you let me have another, I'll let you...." he leaned over and whispered in Cyrus' ear.

He suddenly had five cookies in his hand.

"Well, kids, this has been a time," Ryan said as he and Courtney began to make their way to the front door with the Gang. "But I'll turn into a pumpkin soon if I don't get home, and Miss Courtney will start wearing flannel. Hey...for real, though. This was a great night. Thank you...love you all," he said, smiling at the rest.

"No flannel....but he's right on one thing. You guys are awesome," Courtney added, coming over and giving quick hugs to everyone. "I'm so glad you're my friends," she said with a sincere smile. "Love you."

"Well. Anyone tired? No? Okay...so, what's next?" Clay asked after he had locked up after letting their friends out.

"I have an idea," Justin said. "But....you're gonna hate it," he grinned.

And that was how they found themselves in the living room, with Karaoke videos streaming on the screen via YouTube. Tony and Caleb were making their way through "Sweet Caroline," as Justin and Jess had already done their version of "Summer Nights" from "Grease."

"How do I keep getting talked into these things," Clay muttered to himself. Or so he thought.

"Hey," Sheri whispered to him. "Come on, it'll be fun! You can do this."

"I...I don't know...I mean, I guess I can sing....like, a little."

"You're up, Clay!" Justin said when Tony and Caleb had finished. "What do you want?"

Clay thought for a minute and sighed, pulling out his phone to send a video to the television. When it had come up, the girls smiled wide, while the guys had quizzical looks on their faces. "Dude, for real?" Justin asked.

"Shut up, shithead," Clay replied as the first lyrics to "Let It Go" came on screen, and Clay began to sing along. The gang noticed a couple of things. For one, Clay changed some of the lyrics, so that it reflected his gender - 'king' for 'queen' and 'good boy' instead of 'good girl.' The second thing was that they discovered...Clay could sing. Like... _really_ sing well, something none of them realized before:

 _It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small_  
_And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all_

 _It's time to see what I can do_  
_To test the limits and break through_  
_No right, no wrong, no rules for me_  
_I'm free!_

"Why didn't you tell us you could sing like that?" Zach asked as they all applauded once Clay had finished.

"I mean....I guess you all never asked," he replied, blushing a little.

"Oh, we are _so_ doing one together now," Sheri said as she got to her feet and took Clay's hand, and together they did "Time of My Life" from the "Dirty Dancing" soundtrack. Like with most of these new things - the Karaoke, practicing dancing on Friday night - Clay just needed a little prodding to come out of his shell, and the Gang happened to be especially good at that. True, he was still the 'adorkable' one of the bunch, but once he could get past his initial shyness or the awkwardness of something, he found that there was a lot that he really began to enjoy. Maybe that's why he had chosen the song he had for his solo.

They finished up with the guys doing a rendition of "My Girl" for the ladies, lining up and dancing along as if they were The Temptations.

It was now a little past three, and yawns were being stifled among the group, and goodnight's were said. Zach chose to bunk with Tony and Caleb in the spare room, while Alex and Cyrus retreated to the office.

"Are you...coming upstairs with me?" Clay asked Sheri quietly.

"And where else would you expect me to go?" she replied with a smile.

"O-okay...yeah..." he smiled back, nervously, as they went up to his bedroom.

 

**********

 

 Justin rolled out the sleeping bag on the living room floor. "Now, like...you're sure this is okay? Me being in here?"

"Justin, where else would you go? The kitchen?" Jess replied. "And you can bring that thing closer to the couch, we can stay up and talk for a little while if you'd like."

He nodded and pulled it closer before situating himself in it and propping up his head with one arm. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't know, really," she smiled at him. "How about the fact that what Alex said earlier is right....you are pretty awesome these days."

"Well...I've...got a lot of shit to make up for and all. This is like, my second chance or whatever and I don't want to fuck it up."

"I think," she said as she came down from the couch and sat next to him on the floor, "you're doing a great job. We're all so proud of you. I'm _very_ proud of you."

"Thanks, Jes..." The rest of his reply was cut off as Jess leaned over and kissed him. They looked at one another for a moment before Justin sat up and faced her, then leaned over and took her face in his hands gently and kissed her back, deeply.

"God....I love you so much," he said. "I've missed you so bad."

Jess nodded. "I know... I love you, and I've missed you too."

"What about...taking it slow?"

"Oh, we are...don't get any ideas tiger. But I think a little kissing before bed would be all right. Don't you?"

"Only a little?" he asked with that damn smile.

"Okay, maybe just a bit more than a little....but nothing else. No clothes off."

"Right...no, that's perfectly fine," he nodded, becoming serious.

"Okay then. So....why don't you show me this sleeping bag," she smiled as she lay down next to Justin, who smiled back and lay down on his side next to her. As he stroked her cheek tenderly, he got lost in Jessica's eyes and smile, and then came over to kiss her again.

 

**********

 

Alex and Cyrus were making out.

"Do...I have to keep to my promise? With the cookies?" Alex asked after a couple of minutes. "I don't want anyone to hear you spanking me," he laughed.

"Good point," Cyrus laughed back. "Yeah, we probably shouldn't. Not tonight. But, I'm holding you to that promise!"

"Yes, sir," Alex said, lowering his eyes.

"Sir?"

Alex nodded.

"'What?"

"Tell...tell me what you want me to do, sir."

"'Lex..."

Alex leaned over and sucked on Cyrus' earlobe, causing him to moan, before whispering in that same ear. "It turns me on...okay? Like...I wanna be submissive to you a little bit. Just...you gotta promise to be careful with my leg and hand...not rough or anything...and not all the way, not tonight. Okay?"

Cyrus nodded. "Absolutely....you know I'll be careful, 'Lex. Always."

"Good." Alex leaned back and bit his lower lip.

Cyrus cleared his throat and got into the moment. "Take...take out my cock, boy..."

 

**********

 

Clay closed the bedroom door behind him and took a deep breath before he turned around to look at Sheri.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi."

"Hi," he said again, which caused Sheri to grin and sit on the bed. "Come sit by me," she said as she pat the comforter.

"Yeah....yeah, sure, okay," Clay replied as he came over and sat down.

"So." Sheri said.

"So."

Sheri laughed softly. "Clay...it's all right," she said, bringing up her left hand to play with his hair. This had the immediate affect of relaxing him some, as well as turning him on as her fingers played with the back of his neck.

"Um. So...you know how I said downstairs that I'd never done Karaoke before?" he said as he turned his head slightly to his right, looking at her.

"Yeah?"

"That's....not the only thing I've never done before...."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that, not at all. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Do...you want to?"

"I..." Clay thought for a moment and brought his legs up on the bed to face Sheri, and she did the same. "I....y-yeah...I mean, only if _you_ want to. I...I can always sleep on Justin's couch, and you can..."

"Handsome guy....I want to. But only if you do," she said.

"Okay...cool. Uh...so...how should....?"

"Why don't we start by you kissing me. You're very, very good at that," Sheri smiled.

"I can do that," Clay smiled back as he leaned over and started to kiss her, gradually and slowly pushing her so she lay back and he was laying on top and slightly to the side, so as all of his weight wouldn't be directly on her. They made out for several minutes, only interrupted by Clay taking his shirt off. As they continued, he put his hand on her stomach and rubbed up and down carefully, making sure not to go under her top. That went on for a little while, until she took his hand and brought it up to her chest. As Justin had advised, he cupped her gently.

"Is...is this all right?" he whispered to her.

"It is," she answered, reaching down to pull her top up and off, wiggling out of it.

"Oh...oh, wow..."

"I take it you like?"

Clay nodded. "I...I do. You're so beautiful. So soft. I...I love you, Sheri. I really do. Even if we never did this....I really do love you."

"I love you too, Clay...my handsome guy."

He smiled and kissed her again, and then down to her neck....then lower....

 

**********

 

At almost half past five that morning, some two and a half hours after the gang had called it a night, Zach woke up and quietly opened the door to the spare room, heading down the hall to answer the call of nature.

As he walked past another closed door, he distinctly heard a repetitive thumping, and then Clay groaning " _I'm gonna...I'm gonna...o_ _hJesus...uhhhhhhhh!"_ followed up by Sheri moaning a little.

Zach froze in his tracks for a moment before continuing down the hall.

"I knew I should've just gone home," he muttered to himself, shaking his head.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there Mazers, and welcome back! Thank you for reading Chapter Twenty! 
> 
> Well then. 
> 
> Turns out Clay can sing, can't he? That's a little nod to Dylan Minnette, who is of course the actor that plays Clay on '13 Reasons Why,' and is a vocalist for the band Wallows. So, a nice little tribute to him there via the Karaoke. And who knows, maybe Clay will sing again in a later chapter of Maze.
> 
> Oh, and how about Justin and his epiphany? I was thinking about character development the other day after I wrote Chapter Nineteen and then "Demons," and I realized how much I'm enjoying developing him in my AU. I really want to explore the time when he first came to live with the Jensen family I think, so be on the lookout for that sometime this fall probably.
> 
> And hey, how about Tony being the hall monitor? Funny stuff, huh? And poor Zach!
> 
>  
> 
> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Our heroes were having the sex in this Chapter, and good gravy almighty, our Clay has become a man at last! And little Alex...who knew the guy liked things a little kinky! Hey, variety is the spice of life after all, so why not. Now, I'm still playing around with the idea of a rather more explicit version of this chapter as a stand alone, and I've gotten some good feedback from the last chapter when I asked about it. Let me know what you thought of this, and if there should be an R/NC-17/X rated one or not!
> 
> Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this one, and thank you so much for your feedback on 'Demons!' It was really well received, and I loved writing it for you all. As always, I appreciate your kudos, and your comments and feedback mean so much to me and make me want to write more and more. Love you all!
> 
> So, stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return in our next chapter, coming soon!


	21. Feels Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Gang finishes up Prom weekend! Featuring an almost kitchen disaster, a very happy Clay, and future plans being made...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for underage teenagers engaging in implied sexual activity.

 

_Do you remember how it feels to be young?_

\- from "Feels Great," by Cheat Codes featuring Fetty Wap and CVBZ

 

 

 

**Sunday Morning, 9:55 am**

 

Clay stirred and inhaled a deep breath, slowly opening his eyes. He had fallen asleep roughly four hours ago, so in truth he probably shouldn't be awake at the moment. However, it was the movement of the person sharing his bed that morning which woke him up, as Sheri rolled to her left side and snuggled into him, sighing as she did so. Clay smiled and pressed his lips tenderly against her forehead and gave a little kiss.

"Good morning," she said through a sleepy smile.

"Great morning," he smiled back.

"You're very comfy," Sheri snuggled in closer.

"Well, thank you. You're very warm. Perfect for cuddling. Go back to sleep, we don't have to be up yet."

"It's okay, I'm awake. Hmmmm."

"What?"

Sheri's free hand wandered down until it was in between Clay's legs. "Somebody is already up this morning..."

"Ummm....well, heh...yeahhhhh....oh fuck," Clay gasped, feeling her hand wrap around him.

She grinned up at him. "I think I bring out the best in you."

"You bring out something in me, that's for sure," Clay replied with a smile before leaning down to kiss her. "Wanna do it again?"

"Three times? Why, Clay Jensen...who knew you had it in you?"

"I told you...you bring something out in me."

Clay made out with her for a few minutes, and just as he had done the night before, made his way down her neck and kissed and licked at it gently, resulting in little moans coming from her. Then, down to her chest, and again, cupping gently, lowering his mouth and flicking his tongue, alternating back and forth between each side. He then started to kiss his way down her stomach when he stopped, lifted his head, and sniffed the air.

"Do you smell something burning?" he asked.

"No," Sheri answered, looking down at him.

"Huh. Must be my imagination." He resumed his objective, starting to kiss lower and moving his body down the bed so that he was laying between her open legs. As he kissed her inner thigh, he stopped and sniffed again.

"You really don't smell that?"

"Now that you mention it...yeah, I kinda do..."

Just as Clay was about to reply, they could hear from downstairs the unmistakable voice of Justin.

And he was quite loud and clear.

"OHHH!! WE ON FIRE!!"

The smoke detector now went off.

"Shit!" Clay's eyes went wide as he jumped out of bed, naked, his manhood bouncing up and down as he did so. "Uh...uh...where's my...shit, what happened to my shorts?"

"Over there, the chair!" Sheri sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed as Clay found his sleeping shorts and started to put them on, hopping on one foot as he did so. Losing his balance some, he began to hop backwards and slammed his hip into the side of his desk. "Ow fuck!!" Wincing, he pulled his pants all the way up....and immediately noticed a problem.

"I...can't go downstairs like this!" Clay looked down at his crotch. "Not yet anyway! Shit!" He looked up at Sheri, who was now pulling on her panties. "What should I do?!"

As she was about to reply, they heard three pairs of feet running past the closed bedroom door down the stairs, and then Tony shouting as he made it into the kitchen, apparently. "What the _fuck_ did you do, Justin?? How the hell do you burn and set fire to _eggs_ _?!_ "

"I DON'T KNOW! IT HAPPENED SO FAST!"

Clay closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He shook his head, and then ran a hand down and over his face. Opening his eyes back up, he looked at Sheri for a second and nodded. "Okay. Just another normal day in the Jensen home getting started then. Yep." He looked down again at his crotch and saw that he was now at ease, so to speak. "Oh, good. I'm soft." Grabbing his t-shirt from the floor, he pulled it over his head, and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm going to go see what kind of devastation my brother has created...take your time getting dressed." He leaned over and kissed Sheri's cheek before nodding again. "Hopefully, we still have a kitchen. Yep. Take your time. See you downstairs." He was muttering to himself as he walked over and opened the door, hearing Sheri laugh a little behind him as he made his way to the stairs.

Rounding the corner into the kitchen, waving his arms back and forth to clear away some of the smoke and squinting as he did so, he saw Caleb running a pan under some water in the sink and Zach opening a window, as Justin and Tony yelled back and forth at each other.

"You used _how_ much butter??"

"I just put like the whole stick in there, I didn't know! And I had to piss really bad, so I figured I could go do it real fast and then come back and....oh, hey, morning Clay!"

Clay took in the scene around him as Jess joined him, having finished using the bathroom herself. "Good morning. Thank you for not setting the _entire house on fire_. I'm not even going to ask what happened."

"Well, see, I was gonna make a big thing of scrambled eggs for everyone, and..."

"...he set the pan on fire." Tony finished, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It was an accident!"

Clay sighed. "How about I handle breakfast instead."

"Yeah, okay...I can help!"

"Justin," Clay and Tony said simultaneously.

"What? They're like our guests or whatever, right?"

"Yes, but..."

"What the actual fuck?" a sleepy and shirtless Cyrus said as he stumbled into the kitchen. "Was there, like...a real fire?"

"Don't ask," Zach replied. " You missed the excitement. Nice hickeys, dude."

"Oh shit," he muttered, covering his chest.

Alex had now joined the Gang, coming in more slowly due to his cane. "Well," he yawned, "this is not how I expected to wake up this morning. What happened?"

"My well meaning and unable to cook brother over there..."

"Hey!" Justin interrupted Clay.

"....was attempting to make eggs. And I think destroyed a pan in the process. How do pancakes sound to everyone?"

"Oh, yeah! Pancakes! I'll help!"

"Pancakes sound amazing right now. And coffee. Lots of coffee," Sheri stretched as she walked in.

"Hell yeah! I'm gonna make them with Clay!"

"Justin...just... _gah_....okay, okay."

 

**********

 

Alex and Cyrus decided to sit on the couch in the living room and snooze until food was ready, Zach was in the upstairs shower, Tony and Caleb went on a coffee run for the Gang, and the ladies commandeered the downstairs bathroom. Meanwhile, Clay, who had calmed down after the near breakfast disaster, took over the kitchen, assisted, using the loosest possible definition of the word, by Justin. He hummed happily to himself, setting up the wide electric griddle, taking his time to make sure it was sitting evenly on the counter before plugging it in. Then, continuing to hum, he pulled a large bowl out of the cabinet, and opened a drawer to take out a wooden spoon. Now singing to himself, he went to the refrigerator to grab a carton of orange juice, and as he turned around, he saw Justin staring at him and grinning.

"What?"

"Clay."

"What?"

"Dude."

"What??"

"Bro!"

_"What?!"_

"You're like...glowing! You did it, didn't you!"

"I am not glowing!" Clay turned a little red before breaking out into a grin of his own and getting a clean glass out of another cabinet.

"You DID!"

"Shhhh! Keep your damn voice down! Do you want everyone else to hear?"

"Okay, okay...but...you did it!"

Clay smiled and opened the carton of juice. "Yeah. Twice."

"AHHHHHH!!!!" Justin came over and hugged Clay from behind and jumped up and down a little as he held him, causing some of the juice to splash out. "Congratulations, dumbass!!!"

"Stop...stop, Justin...Justin stop, I'm gonna spill this!" Clay laughed as he was let go. "Geez!"

"So? How was it??"

"Ummm...good. Like...really, really good," Clay was still smiling as he poured himself a glass of juice.

"Just _good_? C'mon bro, details!"

"A true gentleman never tells," Clay said before taking a sip.

"The fuck? Aw, c'mon Clay!"

"Nope. Some things are gonna stay private, and this is one of them." He took another big drink and put the glass down, humming again as he went into the pantry to get two boxes of pancake mix.

"Clay! I'm your brother! Almost. Practically! I'd tell _you_ about it if I got laid!" Justin plead. "Kinda maybe! But this is, like different! This is a big deal!"

"Justin I'm not gonna....oh, fine," he said, coming back in to the main kitchen. "Let's just say....your advice was really, really helpful. And it was better than good, it was great. And I'm...amazing, apparently. And that's all you're gonna know."

"That's it? Oh, come on! Did you at least go down on..."

"Do you want to help cook breakfast or not?"

"....yes," Justin replied sheepishly.

"Okay then. Then that's all you're gonna hear."

"Fine," Justin pouted. "But I bet I can get you to spill some details eventually. I'll wear you down."

Clay shook his head and opened one of the boxes, then started to tear at the plastic bag inside of it containing the mix. Or tried to. It was one of those like in a box of cereal that seemed to be sealed with fast acting cement, and the sucker just wouldn't budge. As he struggled, Justin came over.

"Here, let me help," he said, getting his hands in the box as well.

"No, I can do it..."

"You've got to pull the edges apart...."

"That's what I'm doing!"

"You're doing it wrong!"

"How can you pull apart a bag wrong??"

"Clay, you've gotta..."

The force of the two of them pulling and jostling the box at the same time eventually worked. Too well. The force of their actions caused a cloud of the pancake mix to spew up and out of the box.

Justin jumped back in time.

Clay did not.

His face was now somewhat covered in a fine powder of the mix, not to mention his shirt and upper arms. He slowly put the box down on the counter and looked at Justin, who was snickering.

"I hate you," Clay mumbled.

"You...do...not," Justin was now laughing.

Clay went to the sink, spitting a little of the mix out as he turned on the water.

Justin now had to sit down at the table, and was laughing harder. This was how Jess and Sheri found him as they came back.

"What's so funny?" Jess asked, seeing Justin wiping tears from his eyes and Clay bent over the sink.

"He...he...oh my fuck, you should've seen it," Justin barely got out, his voice having a high pitch through the laughter.

"Clay?" Sheri asked as she walked to the sink.

"I'll tell you later...."

 

**********

 

Having cleaned up some, his good mood returned, and Clay was now manning the griddle and flipping pancakes and humming along to himself once more. Alex was leaned up against the counter next to him, as it was Cyrus' turn in the shower. Justin had been banished from the kitchen and was getting dressed, while the ladies, Tony, and Caleb chat and drank coffee at the table.

"Clay."

"What?" He flipped another pancake and continued to hum.

"Are you...ill?"

"What? No, why?"

"Well, you're like...super happy. And you're humming."

"So? I can't be happy or hum?"

"No, but you're like...more than happy, which I always thought was a dangerous mental condition. Plus you're kind of...I don't know....glowing."

Clay sighed as he looked at his friend. "I am not glowing!"

"Kinda are," Tony said from the table.

Hearing this, Clay turned around. "Okay, look...I just happen to be in a very good mood this morning, even with only four hours of sleep..."

"Why only four?" Jess asked with a knowing grin as Sheri just took another drink of her coffee.

"I....that's not important. Listen," he turned to Alex pointing the spatula at him, "if you want chocolate chips in your pancakes, you'll let me hum all that my little ass wants...you," he now turned back to Jess, "hush, you," now looking at Tony, "...I don't know what your deal is. And I'm not glowing."

Jess snickered and looked at Sheri who simply giggled a little. The ladies had obviously spoken some while sharing the bathroom that morning.

"What?" Clay asked.

"So...you had a _big_ , _long_ , night, would you say?" Jess joked.

"Oh....my God. I shouldn't feed any of you people..." Clay went back to flipping pancakes.

But. He was humming again.

 

**********

 

"I'll be so glad when this week is over. End of the semester, end of this year," Alex said as the Gang was now eating.

"Amen to that," Jess agreed. "Everyone ready for finals?"

There were murmurs of 'mostly' and 'more or less' from everyone.

"So, here's what I think..." Justin started through a mouthful of food.

"Dude...really?" Tony said, titling his head a little.

"Bro, chew your food," Clay said from behind him, as he ate next to Sheri at the counter while stacking the last of the pancakes on a plate.

Justin swallowed. "Sorry. Here's what I think. We really should road trip this summer like we talked about last night. Let's go to Disney!"

"I mean, it's a pretty awesome idea," Zach agreed. "We just gotta convince the parents to let us go is all."

"Well...we've all been doing better since things calmed down...recent circumstances out of Clay's control excluded," Alex looked over at his host, who nodded back at him in understanding. "And I think we've sort of proven that we're all good together as a group. Might just work."

"Yeah!" Justin now pushed back his chair and got up, walking to the freezer portion of the refrigerator. "It's not that long of a drive, I don't think. We can stay for, like, a couple of nights, and be back no problem. Maybe even do a long weekend or whatever." He came back to the table with a tub of chocolate ice cream, but not before taking two more pancakes off of the stack Clay had made.

"And I suppose I'm going to be the chaperone?" Tony asked.

"I thought you said you were the hall monitor," Cyrus joked back.

"Either way. Justin. What are you doing?"

"Dude. Pancakes and ice cream. They're fucking amazing together, you should try it," he said, scooping some out onto his plate.

"Not gonna lie...that does sound kinda good," Alex agreed.

"I mean...I've heard of waffles and ice cream..." Jess reached over and took a bit of the ice cream onto her plate and combined it with a bite of her pancakes. "Oh my God..."

"Right?!" Justin grinned. "We need more spoons! Clay?"

Clay paused for a moment and looked at his friends, who had tuned to him expectantly. "Yeah...okay, but no one tells my mother," he said, putting down his plate and opening a drawer.

Pancakes and ice cream it was, over conversation about a road trip to Disneyland this summer. Even Clay had come around to the idea.

 

**********

 

Once breakfast, brunch actually, was through, Justin took over clean up duties, assisted and supervised by Jess and Zach. Tony and Caleb had parted their company, and Cyrus and Alex were back in the office and were finishing getting dressed. Clay, meanwhile, had gone upstairs to take a shower, and while the water was warming up, he once again was humming to himself when a soft knock on the door interrupted him.

"Oh...hey," he said in greeting to Sheri after opening it.

"Hi." She came into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, then took off her top.

"Ummm....hi?"

"So..there was something about a third time this morning before we were interrupted by eggs on fire."

Clay's eyes widened. "In the shower....really?"

Sheri grinned and walked over, cupping his crotch. "Why not?"

"Holy shit....you're sure?"

Sheri nodded and massaged his crotch.

"Buuuuuut....I don't have a..."

She opened her free hand to reveal a condom.

"God, I fucking love you," Clay said, taking his shirt off and pulling down his pants quickly.

 

**********

 

Forty minutes later, Clay and Justin passed each other on the stairs.

"Three times," Clay said as he made his way down.

"What?!"

"Yep!" Clay was now in the living room.

Shaking his head, Sheri now passed him.

"Hi, Justin," she said grinning as she followed Clay.

"I'm so gonna wear him down and get him to spill it..." he muttered as he made his way up.

 

**********

 

By late afternoon, the last of their friends had left, and Clay and Justin took their dates back to their respective homes.

"So, we're double dating this weekend," Justin said on the drive back.

"Wait. We're what now?"

"Double dating. You and Sheri, me and Jess."

"Why would we do that?"

"Because. I asked Jess out on a real date for next weekend, and I figured you would be taking Sheri out anyway. And since we only have one car between us..."

"Justin, you could ask mom or dad to borrow theirs you know."

"Yeah, but this will be fun! Come on, please?"

Clay sighed and shook his head. "Okay, fine. A double date it is."

"All right!" Justin smiled.

They drove on in silence for a few more minutes.

"When you started, did you do what I told you to do with your fingers?" Justin asked.

"Oh my God! I am _not_ telling you details!"

"Bro...I will wear you down."

 

**********

Quick naps were in order that late afternoon, a good couple hours of much needed extra sleep. Clay especially needed it, and he felt much better after he woke up, just in time to greet Matt and Lainie.

"Hi mom! Hi dad!" Clay hugged his parents in turn as they came home that early evening.

"Hi kiddo...well, how was it, did you have a good time?" Matt asked as Justin was hugging Lainie.

"It was great! We had a lot of fun! Thank you again for letting us have the house."

"I'm impressed...it's all clean, it's still standing. Nicely done, boys," Lainie looked around, nodding. "Clay...you're sort of...I don't know how to describe it?"

"Glowing?" Justin suggested with a grin.

"Yes...sort of..."

"Uhhhh....hey, let's go in and sit down. I need to tell you something," Clay said, leading everyone into the living room.

Lainie sat on the couch. "What is it honey?"

"Well," Clay sat next to her, "okay...so...like, don't get all upset. But I had a panic attack last night. I'm fine, Justin was there, he helped me through it."

Justin nodded and sat down on the floor. "Yeah, some of the kids after the Prom started to shoot off firecrackers in the parking lot. I did the breathing technique with Clay and he calmed down, it was over in like, maybe twenty minutes or so."

"Okay. So you know you have to tell Stanley."

"No, I know. I plan on it. But since we all agreed on the rules and everything...anyway. I'm fine, mom, I promise...please don't look worried like that."

"Clay, I'm going to worry about you as it is, regardless. Well. All right. I'm glad you told us, and that you're all right."

"I'm sorry that happened, kiddo," Matt added. "Justin. Nicely done."

"Thanks, dad," Justin smiled. "Oh. We wanted to ask you something, too."

A confused look came over Clay's face. "We did?"

"Yeah. What would you think about the Gang taking a road trip this summer. To Disneyland."

"Disneyland. Really. Well....why don't we see what your final grades are like first, you two find new part time jobs, see how Justin does in summer school....then we can talk about it. Matt?"

"Seems fair to me."

"Yes!" Justin fist pumped.

 

**********

 

That night, following dinner, Clay divided his time between texting Sheri, and studying with Justin. They started at the kitchen table before retreating upstairs to the bedroom.

"Okay...so you're sure you're good for tomorrow? Feeling good about history."

Justin nodded. "Yeah, the only one I'm worried about is English, but that's not until Wednesday, and I've got time to cram it all in. Thanks for helping tonight."

"No problem."

Clay went back to his French text, while Justin opened his English Lit book. They read in silence for a good hour or so, jotting down a note here or there as needed. As it neared eleven, Clay shut his text and stretched. "I'm gonna get ready to crash. You good over there?"

"Yeah...just a little bit longer."

"Okay." Clay stacked his books and materials neatly on the small table next to his bed.

"Did you do the thing with your hips like I told you?"

"Jesus, Justin!"

"Clayyyyyyy....c'mon, this is what brothers do!"

Clay thought for a minute before getting up and walking over to close the door to their bedroom. "All right, fine," he said, turning to face Justin. "But if you say anything or joke around about this to _any_ of our friends, or anyone else for that matter, I swear I will never forgive you. I mean it, Justin....this is important to me. It was a really special night. Are we clear?"

"Crystal!" Justin grinned, putting his book aside. "And I promise...stays between you and me."

Shaking his head, Clay went back to sit next to him on the couch. "I guess this really is what brothers do, huh?"

"Well....I don't know about _all_ brothers. But these two," Justin pulled Clay over for a side hug, "are gonna. I trust you with anything, okay? I want you to trust me back. So I'll tell you about what happened with me and Jess. Deal?"

"Deal."

"All right, tell me all about it!"

"Okay....so, we started by making out for awhile...."

Prom was now history, as was the long weekend, and it was a memorable one. Finals week was upon them, and the end of a tumultuous school year was at last in sight, a year none of them would soon forget. Summer lay in front of them - new jobs, an adoption to be finalized, and possibly even a road trip. Knowing the Gang, that would be just the tip of the iceberg. As the two soon-to-be-brothers sat up and talked for nearly another hour, each in their own way realized how important they were to one another, and how much they had come to depend upon the other in such a short time. Yes, the year had been full of trauma and pain, but the end was far, far better than the beginning.

And it felt great.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back, and thanks for reading Chapter 21!
> 
> Now, I couldn't leave Prom weekend unfinished, could I? Looks like Clay really, really likes having the sex, Justin is clueless - and creative? - in the kitchen, and we may just have a road trip ahead!
> 
> We've got four chapters left in this story, can you believe that?? Fear not, however, as there is plenty more ahead, from multi-chapter stories to one-shots! Any guesses as to how Book One will end? 
> 
> Speaking of one-shots, thank you all so much for your comments and feedback on "The Little Black Dog." I think that had to be my favorite thing to write for you all so far. I have one more short story planned that will finish out that little trilogy which I started with "Demons" a few days ago, so be on the lookout for it.
> 
> Annnnnnd still speaking of one-shots, I'm still kicking around the idea of a more mature/explicit version of the previous chapter! We shall see....
> 
> As always, I appreciate your kudos, feedback and comments, and I look forward to reading what you thought of this chapter. Thank you again so much, and stay tuned! Clay and Justin will return in Chapter Twenty Two, coming soon!


	22. Don't Give Up, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the school year, at long last, wraps up. It's finals week and Justin is having a crisis of confidence. Plus, Clay "talks" to his psyche for the first time...

_In this proud land we grew up strong_  
_We were wanted all along_  
_I was taught to fight, taught to win_  
_I never thought I could fail_

_No fight left or so it seems_  
_I am a man whose dreams have all deserted_  
_I've changed my name, I've changed my face_  
_But no one wants you when you lose_

 -from "Don't Give Up," by Peter Gabriel

 

Like a certain fictional cat in the comic strips, few people are actually fond of Mondays. The students of Liberty High, on the other hand, came into this Monday with a sense of anticipation, as it was the start of final exam week and therefore the end of what had been a significant year in their lives. While many of them had not been touched personally by the events of that year - the death of Jeff Atkins in a car accident, the suicide of Hannah Baker, the attempted suicide of Alex Standall, the trial against the school - few could escape the ramifications of these events. On top of that, there had been numerous physical assaults and fights, at least two reported rapes, and capping it off was the attempt by Tyler Downs to perpetrate mass murder, and these had led to a variety of consequences, some of which were implemented immediately, others apparently in the planning stages for the next year.

The schedule for the week was staggered out, basically. There would be a final exam in every class on a particular day of the week, with the remainder of the time divided into study sessions or free periods. For some, this meant that they would be out early in the day; for the seniors, their week would end earlier than the others.

The Deranged Over-Protective Scooby Gang planned to meet up each morning in the school cafeteria in order to share breakfast together, get some last minute studying in together if needed, and generally encourage one another.

"So basically," Zach said, holding the door to the cafeteria open for Alex, "I'm going to be a taxi service for both of you now. I should start to charge a rate or something."

"We could just take an Uber, but your car is way cooler," Alex joked.

"Besides, Zach, you're cheaper. It won't be forever, just until I can get something this summer, then we can switch off driving duties," Cyrus added as he brought up the rear of the trio.

Alex nodded. "Or until my leg and hand are better and I can drive."

Zach adjusted his backpack as they made their way through the cafe. "You guys know that I'm kidding, right? I really don't mind. Besides, May likes going to school with you both. I think she described Cy as 'the funny guy with the hair' or something like that."

"She obviously has good taste in men. Remind me to buy her one of those frozen mocha thing drinks she likes...."

"Hey, I like those, too!"

"And I'll get you one also, 'Lex," Cyrus finished by kissing Alex's cheek.

"That's better."

The trio made their way past rows of tables, some fuller than others, until they reached about two-thirds of the way back, where Clay, Justin and Tony were already seated.

"Dude...are you a Hobbit now?" Clay asked Justin.

Justin paused as he was bringing a spoonful of Fruit Loops up to his mouth. "A what?"

"It's one of those short people in that movie he likes," Tony answered as he flipped through his notebook.

"Oh." Justin proceeded to shovel the cereal into his mouth, lost in thought.

"We had breakfast at home and it was massive...how can you possibly still be hungry?" Clay had a look on his face that was a cross between awe and disgust. "Are you having second breakfast? And remind me to start your Lord of the Rings education this summer."

"He's a growing boy," Zach said as he dropped his bag on the table and Cyrus pulled out a chair for Alex.

"Yes. That," Justin pointed his spoon at Zach in agreement. "I'm hungry, okay?"

"Whatever, just...slow down and chew your food. Morning, guys," Clay looked at the new arrivals. "Ready for today?"

His question was met by an unintelligible series of mutterings, except for Justin, who looked down at his cereal, and played around with it a little with his spoon.

"Well. I don't know about you all, but _je suis prêt à donner un coup de pied à mon examen de français!"_

Five heads turned to look at Clay, with Cyrus raising an eyebrow for good measure, a la Mr. Spock.

"Yeahhh....forget I said anything...."

"Where are the ladies?" Alex asked.

"Sheri is on her way....not sure about Jess. Justin, do you know?"

Justin had gone back to looking at the cereal rings in his paper bowl, moving them to and fro with his spoon, and once more got lost in his head. This upcoming week was an important one for him. Old Justin might not have cared very much about finals, and in fact really didn't care about grades all that much to begin with. That was low on his list of priorities, which included, in no particular order, playing basketball, getting laid, getting high, getting drunk, trying to take care of his mother, and avoiding his mother's asshole boyfriend of the week/month. Grades? Those would take care of themselves, or not. But that had been Old Justin. New Justin, on the other hand, had rearranged his priorities in life and eliminated a few things off of that list. Grades had suddenly skyrocketed near the top of the list, along with staying clean, continuing to adapt to a new family, building a relationship with his new brother, making things right with Jess, and generally staying out of trouble. Getting laid was still on that list somewhere, but it certainly wasn't in the top five any longer.

So, he had come to school with Clay that morning with the thought of final exams and final grades weighing heavily on his mind, and he had been unusually quiet as a result, even through a large family breakfast earlier. "It's a tradition," Clay had explained. "Mom and dad go all out on the first day of finals week...kind of a good luck thing." And now, here he was, eating again, and still somewhat quiet. Compounding the problem was that the demon of addiction had been whispering to him on and off that morning, with the temptation to take all his troubles away.

"Earth to Justin...." Alex said.

"Huh? Sorry, what...?"

"Jessica?"

"Oh. Yeah, she's coming."

A concerned look came over Clay's face, and as the others either engaged in conversation or pulled out textbooks, he leaned over to whisper to his foster brother. "Hey...you all right?"

Justin shrugged in reply. "Yeah...I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You haven't said much all morning."

"I'm fine...all good."

Clay frowned, and was about to go back to his textbook...when suddenly, there was a voice in his head...

 

**********

 

_He's not._

What?

_Justin. He's not fine._

Why...do you sound like me? And why are we....wait, are we...talking...to each other?

_Don't worry about it, I'll tell you later. Justin. He's not fine. You need to talk to him._

I...do.

_Walk him away from everyone else or he won't open up._

Who....what....are you?

_I said I'd tell you later. You need to talk to Justin. Right now. Before his first exam. Go._

Um. Okay....

 

**********

 

"Hey, you know....I think I want a muffin. Anyone else want a muffin?" Clay looked back up from his textbook. "Justin, want a muffin?"

"No, thanks, I'm good."

"Nah, you want a muffin, you like their muffins...come on, I'll buy...." Clay said as he stood up, and put a hand on Justin's shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"I'd like a muffin," Alex chimed in. "Chocolate chip if they've got them."

"Sure...come on, let's get muffins," Clay squeezed again, reassuringly.

Justin looked at the others. "I guess we're getting muffins....be right back," he said, pushing back his chair and getting up. As they walked off and towards the food lines, Clay put a hand on his arm.

"Hey," he asked quietly. "What's wrong?"

Justin shook his head in reply and looked down at the floor as they walked.

"No, don't shake your head, we don't do this...not anymore, remember? Tell me what's wrong."

Justin stopped and looked back towards the table to make sure their friends weren't watching, and satisfied that they were not, he nodded his head in the direction of a door which lead to the courtyard outside the cafeteria. Once outside, Clay tried again.

"C'mon, what's up?"

"Okay...so....I'm really nervous."

"About...?"

"This week. Exams."

"Oh. Well. I mean, that's natural. You know we all have a flight or fight response in us, and it can manifest itself as nervousness before things like an exam. Dr. Keyworth calls it hyperarousal, we've talked a lot about that with..."

"Clay," Justin interrupted, "I need you to not...be Clay for a minute."

"Okay..." Clay said, drawing out the word.

"Yeah, so that came out wrong. Look. I'm...I don't want to screw this up, you know? I'm trying to not be a fuck up anymore, and this is, like...a big deal. I know I'm gonna have to pull summer school as it is, and I don't want to make it worse or whatever. This is really important to me, I need to prove that I'm not just a dumb jock anymore that could barely scrape by or get passed on through because I could play ball or whatever. I...didn't sleep very well last night 'cause I was thinking about this."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because, Clay, it's not your problem, it's mine."

"Dude...it's _our_ problem. Man...that's why you were eating again, it's stress."

"I guess. I dunno."

Clay sighed and gathered his thoughts for a minute. "Okay... a) you studied really well yesterday and did great when I quizzed you with history, and, b) you seem to have forgotten that this being brothers thing isn't a one way street. Justin, you could've woken me up, it would've been fine."

"Fuck. I know...I just would've felt bad or whatever."

"Do you realize how much you've been there for me the last month or so? With the concussion and now the PTSD? Hey...you're going to do fine today. And all week." Clay was rubbing Justin's arm. "You've got to have confidence in yourself. Okay?"

Justin nodded his head.

"You need to remember that you can tell me things also, Justin."

"Yeah...uh..."

"What?"

"Okay, so don't, like...freak out or anything. But because of this I've kinda been...struggling, this morning."

Clay nodded. "I'm gathering that, yeah."

"No, Clay, you don't understand. Like...struggling with..the H. Like part of me really, really wants to..."

"Oh...oh shit!"

"Yeah."

"You...Justin, you _can't_..."

"I know that! And it's taking everything I've got to hold it together and _not_ but it's fucking hard!" Justin had suddenly gotten angry, a symptom of the addiction, and raised his voice enough that some students walking past looked over at them, while Clay did a double take and took a small step back, his own flight or fight response kicking in resulting from the PTSD.

"Clay, sorry..." Justin went to put his hand on Clay's arm, but his foster brother jerked it away and took another step back.

"Don't..." Clay said, barely above a whisper.

"Clay, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to raise my voice...shit..."

Closing his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths, Clay willed himself to calm down, and heard the voice in his head again talking to him:

_Easy...just relax, you're safe. He's not going to hurt you....he'd never hurt you, you know that. Take a couple more deep breaths....there you go._

"Clay?"

"Yeah...I'm good."

"Clay I'm so sorry. Fuck."

"It's...yeah, it's okay now."

"You sure?"

Clay nodded. "Yeah....okay, look. First things first, let's get through exams today. And I'm gonna keep an eye on you, you'll be all right. We'll call your sponsor later and talk to mom and dad tonight after we run, and if you need to wake me up or something tonight, you do it. Okay? You should have last night."

"I guess I just figured that with everything that happened, I didn't want you to worry about me. Are you okay, I'm really sorry for snapping at you like that..."

"I'm fine, really...promise. And listen...I'm always going to worry about you, and I don't mean that in a bad way. Now, come on, we still have time before our first tests today. How about we go over postwar America one last time together. Sound good?"

"Yeah....yeah, okay. Hey, thanks little bro."

"You're welcome big bro."

They went back inside and walked back to the table.

"No muffins?" Alex asked.

"Muffins?  What muffins? OH! Muffins! Right...yeah...be right back!"

"I don't understand...did you get lost or something?" Zach wondered. "How did he forget?"

"He was probably thinking about Hobbits," Tony deadpanned without looking up from his notes.

 

**********

 

As promised, Clay did indeed keep an eye on Justin all day, texting him in between exams or free periods when they weren't together. Justin called his sponsor and met up with him later that afternoon for coffee, where he received some much needed coaching and advice, as Clay sat at another table, giving them the space and time needed to talk things through. Even speaking with their parents went better than expected that night during dinner.

"Don't beat yourself up, Justin. You knew going in that this wasn't going to be easy all the time, and you've done really, really well. The stress of this week is what's bringing this out, we understand that," Matt explained.

"He's right, honey, and you did the right things by opening up about this and making the call," Lainie added.

"He really helped, yeah. But I'm still just so nervous."

"Justin, sweetheart...whatever happens this week, it'll be fine. We'll fix whatever we need to fix together. Okay?"

Justin nodded and as he cut into his dinner. "Yeah...okay." The temptation had passed, thankfully, but the self-doubt had not. Studying with Clay later that night helped a little, as did the suggestion of half an hour of Fortnite as a means of escape. But the doubt lingered.

 

**********

 

_Get up! Wake up!_

What?

_Wake up!_

Are...you talking to me again? What time is it?

_Yes, and it's late, but you need to wake up!_

Why?

_Because Justin is having a nightmare, you dumbass! Geez, no wonder he calls you that..._

Hey, it's a nickname. And anyway, who are you??

_Will you WAKE UP and help Justin?!_

Okay, okay!

 

**********

 

Opening one eye slowly, Clay could barely make out the form of Justin across from him on the couch, twisting and shivering, moaning and mumbling to himself.

"Shit." He reached over to switch on the small lamp on his side table and swung out of bed, crossing over to the other side of the room. It had been quite some time since Justin had had a nightmare, mainly during those first days when he had become a more or less permanent part of the Jensen household, and at the time Clay did not exactly handle them well, not knowing any better. Back then his response mainly consisted of crossing the room with a pillow to give Justin a good whap, ask if he was all right, and then turn around and go back to sleep. Looking back on it, he realized he should have handled it far better, but it was, again, in a time prior to Justin opening up about his addiction, the situation with Seth, a concussion and PTSD. Since then, Justin had taken on the role of brother protector, and each had begun to show a certain vulnerability. So, that was then...this was now.

"Justin....hey, Justin....Justin, wake up..." Clay had now knelt next to the couch and was shaking Justin a little. "Justin, c'mon man...you're having a bad dream, wake up. Shithead!"

Suddenly, Justin sat straight up, but was flailing his arms, nearly slapping Clay, who reached up to grab them as quickly as he could.

"Justin! Justin, calm down....hey, calm down, you're okay! Stop it, Justin!"

"I'm sorry! I tried my best, I really did, please!" It was obvious Justin was still half-asleep.

"Justin, calm down! It's all over, you're okay!"

Breathing heavily, a confused look came over Justin's face. "C-clay?"

"Yeah, it's me..."

"I....fuck. Shit." He slowly turned his body, the blanket becoming tangled in his legs and feet, which he brought over to the side of the couch and on the floor. "Sorry....I'm sorry...."

"Hey, it's okay," Clay said, getting up from his knees and sitting next to Justin.

"They....they were all laughing at me...calling me stupid..."

"Who were?" Clay asked, rubbing Justin's back.

"Everyone...our friends....you...mom and dad...Bryce..." Justin's lower lip quivered a little.

"It was just a bad dream."

"I'm trying so hard," Justin choked back a sob. "I don't wanna let anyone down..."

"Hey...hey, it's okay...you're not letting anyone down. Really."

Justin was openly crying now. "I don't wanna be like they said...like, dumb!...I'm not!"

The voice was back in Clay's head.

_You know what to do. Go on. He's done it for you a bunch of times now..._

Clay brought Justin over and wrapped his arms around him, bringing his head just under his shoulder. "Hey," he whispered, "it was just a bad dream. That's all. No one thinks that about you."

"Not even you? Promise?" Justin cried into Clay's shirt.

"No, of course not. I promise. Shhhhh...."

It took a couple of minutes for Justin to calm down, Clay holding him through it, and giving a little squeeze every so often. "It's okay," he whispered.

"You...you should go back to sleep," Justin finally said after he had stopped crying.

"So should you...."

_And you know what to do now also...._

"Come on." Clay stood up and helped Justin stand and step out of the blanket, then walked him over to his bed.

"Clay, you don't have to do this."

"And you didn't have to either. It's fine." Clay pulled back the comforter and indicated that Justin should climb in, which he did, getting as close to the wall as he could so they both would fit.

"What time is it?"

"A little after three," Clay had now gotten in bed as well, and reached over to turn off the light. "Still have plenty of time to get some sleep."

"You...you're sure..."

Clay rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. "Get over here, shithead," he said, pulling Justin's head on top of his chest. "Close your eyes, relax. I've got you. Don't hog the blankets, though."

Justin managed to crack a smile. "O-okay.....thanks, Clay....love you."

"I love you, too."

 

**********

 

_Nicely done._

Uh. Thanks?

_'Welcome._

Yeah, okay....sooooo who are you, why do you sound like me, and why are we talking?

_Short version because it's late: I'm you._

Like, my brain?

_I prefer to think of it as your psyche, but brain works, too._

Uh huh. So....you're me.

_Yep. And I'm you._

And we are all together, goo goo g'joob?

_Beatles. Nice._

It's finally happened....I've really gone crazy, haven't I? First I'm seeing and talking to Hannah, and now...

_Clay, we're not crazy. You're just a little...damaged, is all. And I'm here to help._

You need to stop switching like that, between you and we...

_Right, sorry. Anyway. So, short version, again: I'm the part of you that's not injured right now, and I'm going to help you get better._

Uh huh.

_Look, don't worry about it right now, go to sleep. You've got the earth science exam later today. We'll talk again. Soon._

Okay. Sure.

_Man, he's kinda heavy!_

Who?

_Justin._

Right...

_Go to sleep, Clay. G'nite._

Sure....night.

 

_....to be continued_

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there Mazers! Welcome back, and thanks for reading Chapter Twenty-two!
> 
> So, this particular chapter was already taking shape in my head awhile ago. But then, after "The Little Black Dog" and "The Heart of the Matter," there was such a good response to Clay "talking" to his psyche, that I felt he/it needed a proper introduction in the Maze universe and properly become a character in the story in his/its own right, and here we are! This also meant that this chapter would have to be divided into two parts, so be on the lookout for the conclusion in a few days time. I also wanted something a lot more Clay and Justin centric, since the last several chapters had such a large group of characters.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one, and like Clay's psyche as much as I like writing it! As ever, your kudos, comments and feedback are so appreciated, and make me want to keep on writing, and I look forward to hearing what you thought of this one. We've got a one-shot coming up in between here also so be on the lookout.
> 
> As always, stay tuned! Clay and Justin will return in Chapter Twenty-three, coming soon!


	23. Don't Give Up, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which finals week concludes! How does Justin fair? And Clay learns some things from Psyche Clay....

_Don't give up_  
_'Cause you have friends_  
_Don't give up_  
_You're not the only one_  
_Don't give up_  
_No reason to be ashamed_  
_Don't give up_  
_You still have us_  
_Don't give up now_  
_We're proud of who you are_  
_Don't give up_  
_You know it's never been easy_  
_Don't give up_  
_'Cause I believe there's a place_  
_There's a place where we belong_

 -from "Don't Give Up," by Peter Gabriel

   

 

 

 

Early the following morning, Clay dislodged himself from Justin, who promptly rolled over onto his stomach, pulled the covers up and over him and snuggled into the pillows, sighing in his sleep as he did so. Smiling down at him, Clay picked up his phone, opened the dresser to grab a pair of underwear, and quietly made his way out to the bathroom, turning his head to the side and cracking his neck as he entered. "Uhhh...better," he said to himself, scrolling through his phone. "How _do_ we both fit in that bed..."

Bringing up his contacts, he started a group message:

 

**Clay:** _Good morning! Scooby Gang alert! Need everyone to help encourage Justin the rest of the week, he's really stressing and worried about finals. Keep it discrete, don't mention I said anything._

**Alex:** _Got it._

**Cyrus:** _Done!_ **  
**

**Jess:** _Oh no...is he okay??_

**Clay:** _Ehh...could be better, you know? He had a rough night, but I feel like he'll make it the rest of the way if we chip in._ **  
**

**Princess:** _Okay, glad to! See you soon! *heart emoji*_

**Clay:** _*smiley face with hearts for eyes emoji*_

**Jess:** _Okay. And that was way too cute!_ **  
**

**Tony:** _Do any of you people know what time it is? It's not even 630 yet!!_

**Scott:** _I'm on my way to work out Tony...not too early..._

**Zach:** _Early bird gets the worm big papi! And yeah, can do Clay._

**Ryan:** _Np clay....and tony has a point..._

**Clay:** _It's not *that* early! It'll give everyone time to get a good breakfast before today's finals. It's the most important meal of the day!_

**Tony:** _Clay...I swear if you start a lecture this early in the day....and yes, I'll help..._

**Courtney:** _*animated gif of Bill Murray pounding an alarm clock*_

**Jess:** _I'll coordinate things, we got this._

 

Smiling again, Clay picked up his toothbrush and turned the water on, and as he unscrewed the tube of Crest, looked up at himself in the mirror.

_Feels good, doesn't it?_

Oh. You're back.

_Where would I go?_

I mean....if you're what you say you are, then I guess that's a good point...

_Not what. Who._

Uh huh. And what feels good?

_To see just yourself and no one else looking back._

Oh. Yeah. Yeah, you're right! I haven't seen...you know who...in a couple of weeks now!

_Voldemort?_

No, smartass! You know who I'm talking about.

_I do. And you're welcome._

Umm....thanks? That was you?

_Yep._

Uh huh....how?

_I told you, I'm the part of you that isn't injured and I'm helping the rest heal. Now, yes, you're doing the majority of it...therapy, running, all that...I'm giving little pushes here and there. So, thanks to you taking your medications and going to therapy, and not stressing out too badly, I was able to close that particular door. Sorry about the panic attack at Prom....got caught by surprise._

Ah. And I'm really not going crazy?

_Nope. Sorry about the headaches also, that's not me, that's the concussion aftereffects. Those will go away soon.  
_

Oh. Okay then.

_Really good job with Justin last night. Keep it up this week, he's going to need it. The kid's self-confidence isn't what you think it is.  
_

Really?

_Nope._

But...it's Justin. Star athlete stud. Why not?

_Think about it. Think about everything that's happened the last nine months or so. His girlfriend was raped by someone he thought was his best friend, his "family" life prior to you...us...was total shit, he did time in juvie, he's staying clean in spite of the addiction he's fighting, he lived on the streets for awhile, and he's essentially starting from scratch in a lot of ways and trying really hard not to let you all down. Put it this way...I wouldn't want to be his psyche right now. And that doesn't even take into consideration Hannah, the tapes, Alex, Jeff, Tyler....get my point?_

I...guess I never thought of it like that. But...he's been so strong with me...protecting me...

_You called him your big brother, and that's what he really, really wants to be. And to be fair, you've had some struggles of your own here lately, too, so he stepped up his game. And that's fine. Just remember...you're not the only one with them. And, you're older than he is...  
_

By a couple months, yeah.

_...so you should be the big brother this week. Give him a week off._

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right.

_Take a look at your hand. No...the other one, you know which one. See those scars?_

Yeah...

_Not everyone's scars are visible, Clay. Cliché, I know. But still the truth.  
_

Damn.

_Get it now?_

Totally, yeah.

_Atta boy. Okay then. So, keep it up with Justin. Good idea to text the rest of the Gang. Now, get showered and dressed, I'm hungry._

You're hungry...you know, I'm not even going to ask....

 

**********

 

"Justin. Justin, time to get up." Clay was back in the bedroom, drying his hair with a towel in one hand, shaking Justin with the other.

In reply, Justin simply mumbled a little and snuggled deeper into the pillow.

Clay leaned over to whisper in Justin's ear. "There's a really hot girl with huge boobs waiting for you in the bathroom. Naked. And she hasn't had sex in, like, weeks and is super duper horny...." Upon hearing that, Justin was immediately awake. "I'm up!" he said, rolling over and sitting up. Laughing now, Clay stood back up and walked over to the closet.

"Morning, sunshine!"

Groaning, Justin rubbed his eyes. "There better be a hot girl with huge tits waiting for me."

"Well....no. But, I heard mom and dad downstairs, so while there may not be a super duper horny girl, there's breakfast, probably. Have I told you how important breakfast is? It's the most important..."

"Oh my God. Clay. It's way too early for that shit. If I promise to get up and shower and get dressed, will you promise not to, like, explain stuff this early?"

"Okay, okay," he laughed again, buttoning up his shirt. "Feeling better?"

Justin shrugged. "Yeah...I guess a little. Hey, thanks again...for last night."

"Hey, no need to thank me, man. It's time I started returning a few favors. So...I'm gonna be the big brother this week."

Justin stretched and got up, yawning. "You are?"

"Mhmm. You can go back and officially be that after finals. But, seeing as how I'm the older one..."

"Only by a couple months."

"....I'm exercising my rights. Really, it's fine."

"Okay. Thanks again, all the same. I slept really good after....you know."

"Not a problem, bro." Clay came over and pulled down Justin's head, kissing the top of it, which elicited a happy little smile from him. "Now, come on, get ready, and let's get something to eat."

Once showered and dressed, Justin came downstairs to join the rest of the family. "Morning, mom...dad."

"Morning kiddo," Matt replied, scooping some eggs onto a plate for him.

"Good morning, honey."

"Justin, who formulated the geocentric theory?" Clay asked.

"Uh...Ptolemy."

"Heliocentric?"

"Galileo. No, wait, he proved it! Copernicus!"

"Good! Axial tilt of the earth?"

"Twenty.....three...twenty-three point five degrees."

"Earth's diameter in kilometers."

"Uhh...12,756?"

"Right! Pangaea?"

"That's the original land mass. Two hundred million years ago."

Clay nodded and went back to eating. "You got this."

Matt and Lainie looked at one another. "Nice job, boys," their mother said.

Smiling happily again, Justin sat down and began to eat.

 

**********

 

"Justin!"

They had been walking down the hall towards the cafeteria, when Clay and Justin heard Tony from behind them.

"Oh, hey, Tone. What's up?" Justin addressed their friend as he caught up to them.

"You guys chat, I'm gonna go on ahead," Clay head nodded to Tony in greeting. "I'll grab us a table. Try not to hatch a plot against the universe or anything without me," he said as he walked off.

"Yeah, sure, see ya there. What's up man?" Justin asked again, turning to Tony.

"Nothing especially, just wanted to catch up with you is all. I don't know about you, but I'll be glad when this week is over."

"Oh my God, yeah!" They started to walk down the hall again. "This is, like...the most stress I think I've ever been under. I'm still like, fucking nervous as shit."

Tony thought for a moment. "Do you remember the game against St. Joe's?"

"Yeah, the double overtime one? That shit was _epic_! I was fouled and made those last two free throws."

"And we won the game."

"85-84!"

Tony nodded as they reached the door of the cafe. "Must have been stressful. Shooting those two free throws."

"You have no idea...."

"But you did it. And sunk them both. I remember my coach always telling me back in the day to tune out everything and everyone else and picture yourself making those free throws. Of course, I was like, in middle school, mind you, but it worked. I always was a pretty good free throw shooter I thought."

"No, it really does work! Like, we're taught to just focus on the ball and see it going in, before we make a shot. It, like, gives you confidence, helps you relax and tune out a crowd."

Tony looked at Justin.

"What?"

"Different circumstances. Same scenario. Picture yourself studying and practicing and being quizzed. Then, go in there and ace those exams"

Now it was Justin's turn to think. "Damn...that's a really good idea...thanks, man!"

"Anytime. Let's join your brother," he said, reaching for the door handle to open it.

 

**********

 

On his way to taking the Earth Science final, Justin stopped at his locker to switch out some things and grab an extra pen, as Clay went on ahead to the classroom. As he opened the locker, a folded note fell out, which he picked up and opened. Reading its contents put a smile on his face again:

 

_Hey you!_

_Just want to say good luck today! I'm really proud of you, and I know you're going to do great! I'm really looking forward to our date this weekend!_

_Go get 'em tiger!_

_Love,_

_Jess_

 

Feeling the best that he had since the weekend, he retrieved what he needed from his locker, closed it, and with head held high met up with Clay outside their classroom.

"Ready?" Clay asked.

"Let's kick this exam's _ass"_ Justin answered with a high five.

 

**********

 

The one class Justin was struggling the most in was English Literature. The material was difficult enough, but due to the time he lost while in juvenile detention, he was behind as well. His teacher was understanding, but only to a point, and expected him to get as much of the missed assignments turned in as he could. On top of all of the other work he had to complete, this was turning out to be an impossible task, and it was almost certain that he was going to have to take the course over during the summer regardless of how he did on the final. One thing in his favor, though, would be his final exam score. That would determine if he would be in the summer session until the start of the new year, or if he would be in an abbreviated one that would last about five weeks. Needless to say, as he and Clay sat at Monet's studying together that evening with Sheri, Courtney and Ryan, his stress levels returned to where they had been the previous day.

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck," he muttered to himself.

"Hey...what's wrong?" Clay asked, looking up from his laptop.

"Why do I give a shit about Edith Wharton? Or Harriet Jacobs?"

"Because...you need to know them for the exam tomorrow?"

"No shit, dumbass."

"Justin," Ryan said, "honey, here, let me help with Jacobs, it's not that difficult. You just need to break it down into major themes, like race, slavery and gender."

"I can't do this..."

"Yes, you can," Courtney was pulling out a blank piece of paper. "Here, let's outline it."

Clay nodded his head to Sheri, indicating they should leave them alone to work for a few minutes. "We'll be right back, you all keep at it. We're gonna walk outside for a little bit."

"Hi," Clay smiled, taking Sheri in his arms when they got outside, leaning up against the Prius.

"Hi yourself. I felt like we haven't had any time together the last two days."

"Mmmm, that's probably because we haven't. Gonna be a crazy week. How are your tests so far?"

"Ugh...history," Sheri frowned.

"Yeah...you're in the same boat as Justin with Lit, I know. Hey," he gave her a kiss, "it's going to be all right. You're gonna do great, and I'll help this summer."

"I'm gonna need it. How's Justin doing?"

"He was fine until he started studying Lit again and got all stressed out like he was yesterday. Hopefully this little study group tonight will help."

"Well....I think you setting this up tonight with Jess and letting us all know is really sweet. You're a good brother," Sheri smiled.

"Aw, shucks," Clay joked, using a cheesy 1950s era cowboy voice. "Just doin' my job ma'am," he said, causing them both to laugh before kissing her again. "Ugh...I wish we didn't have to study. We could be doing...other things."

"Oh really now. Like what kinds of other things?"

"Hmmmm." Clay leaned over and whispered in her ear, causing her eyes to widen.

"Oh my goodness...Clay Jensen...who knew! Come on, let's go back in before they think we're doing something naughty in your car."

"Don't. Tempt. Me." Clay half-joked as they walked back inside and to their table.

"....and so that's how her book became a major part of African-American literature in the 1970s and 1980s." Courtney was finishing up an explanation of _Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl_.

"Huh. Okay....yeah, that makes a little more sense now. Still a lot to take in, but makes more sense."

"Good! Now let's tackle Wharton. So... _Old New York_..." It was Ryan's turn to take the lead, as Clay looked at Justin, nodded his head, and gave him a proud smile.

 

**********

 

Clay was pulling a t-shirt over his head. "Okay...ten more minutes, and then we need to get to bed."

"Dude, we should set up like a Fortnite team or league or whatever...this is all kinds of awesome! How did I not know about this before?" Justin sat cross legged on the floor and his character was building a rather large ramp.

"Because when you first saw me playing it you chalked it up to...I think your words were, 'the next stupid fad like Pokemon Go' is why.  And then I let you have a turn. Told ya it's fun. Hey...did you want to...you know. Share the bed?"

Justin had just been killed in the game, and he powered down the Xbox. "Fuck it, let's just go to bed. You don't have to do that you know."

"I know I don't have to. I want to. And I'm offering. You said you slept really well once you came over, and it's fine. Really."

Justin got up and came over next to Clay. "I did. And not gonna lie, I kinda miss sleeping in a bed. Your couch is awesome, but...."

"Nah, I get it." Clay  turned to the bed and pulled back the comforter. "We're gonna work on your room this summer. _Après toi, petit frère_."

"The fuck...?"

"It means get in the bed, dumbass."

"No, you're dumbass, I'm shithead....remember?" Justin grinned, getting in the bed and over towards the wall like he did earlier that morning, Clay joining him and turning out the light.

"Hey," Justin said quietly as he settled in, "thanks...for this. And for, like...encouraging me this week. I don't wanna let you down more than anyone else."

"Justin, you could never let me down. Not anymore, never again.  Not after everything that's happened and what we've been through. I keep telling you, you've _got_ this. Okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, okay. Night, Clay. Love you." Justin punctuated his statement by hugging him tight.

"I love you too," Clay replied with a smile, bringing him in and squeezing him tight. "Get some sleep."

 

**********

 

_Good job today. G'nite, Clay.  
_

Thanks! Night...uh...what do I call you?

_Clay._

What?

_No, no...that's what you call me. Remember, I am you and you are me and all that?_

Ah. Okay then. Well...night...Clay.

 

**********

 

"Yo, Justin!"

Cyrus caught up with Justin as he was on his way to the English Lit final. "Hey, what up, Cy?"

"I heard Miss Skowron is letting you all bring snacks into the final today...Alex and I wanted to give you this." He dug into his backpack and brought out a bag of Sour Gummy Worms. " 'Lex would be here, but he's on the other side of the building right now. Anyway...good luck charm, man. Can't go wrong with these. Go rip it's ass," he said, patting Justin on the arm and handing over the candy.

"Awesome...yeah, I forgot about bringing something. Thanks, man."

"You got this. Beat that fucker _up_. Hey, gotta run...Clay and I have a final in the ASS class. Can you believe that?"

A confused look came over Justin's face. "What can they possibly give you as a final exam?"

"Dunno...maybe write an essay on how not to be an asshole in school? If that's the case they should really give it to half of this place."

"No lie...hey, good luck all the same...thanks again for the candy."

Cyrus called over his shoulder as he walked off. "Kick its ass, man!"

Pausing outside the door to his classroom, Justin took a deep breath and closed his eyes. In his mind's eye, he brought up the images of Courtney and Ryan helping him last night, Clay quizzing him on and off since Sunday, and passages from the short stories and novellas he had read. This was it, the biggest and most difficult of the final exams he would have to take. It was all downhill from here, as the old saying went, and this would determine what his summer would be like. Clutching the bag of gummy worms and looking down at it, he nodded to himself as he walked in.

"Just like making free throws..."

 

**********

 

"We're going to the gym today," Clay said later that afternoon, as they were changing clothes. "I don't think I can really lift just yet, my scars are still a little tight. But if you want to do a leg day, I'd be down for that."

"You sure?" Justin was tying his shoes. "I mean, we can run if you want."

"It's all good. Besides, we haven't been in weeks now. Zach and Scott are going to meet us there."

"Oh shit...are you _sure_ you don't want to run instead? Have you seen those two work out?"

A concerned look came over Clay's face. "Uh. No? But...it's okay. I think. Maybe. Just...don't let me die, or whatever."

Once at Planet Fitness and meeting up with their friends, the four went through a warmup routine of stretches and then ran on the treadmill for eight minutes. Clay protested a little at the shortened time, but Scott patiently explained that because it was going to be a leg day, he would need to take it easier with running for this particular workout, or he would regret it. As Zach and Justin went over to the leg press, Scott introduced Clay to the donkey kick.

"Okay...so this is similar to a machine we have at school and at my gym, and it's gonna work your hamstrings and your glutes," he explained as he walked Clay through the exercise.

"Glutes. Well, Sheri should appreciate that. This looks easy enough." Clay got onto the machine and adjusted the weight.

"Just remember...slow movement. Good. So...how's he doing?"

"Justin? Well, his most... _oh Jesus this hurts..._ uh...most difficult final was today, so I think it'll get... _ow fuck_...better from here."

"Clay, slow movement. Now switch legs. Well, good. I texted him earlier today to motivate him a little."

"Great, thanks man...I think... _Jesus it hurts on this side too!_...all of us doing little things has made a huge difference. Do...people really use this torture device?"

Scott shrugged. "Not many."

Clay turned his head and looked at him in disbelief. "Then...why in the world would you have me do it?"

"Did you want to do the leg press instead?"

Clay leaned over and saw Zach pressing up what appeared to be an abnormal amount of weight with little problem while talking to Justin.

"Slow movement, huh?"

"Slow movement."

"Got it."

"You gonna try out for cross-country next year? Justin keeps mentioning it."

"Maybe. Haven't.. _ow ow ow_...really put a lot of thought into it."

Scott nodded and went over to the leg extension machine. "Well, start to. I think you should do it. If Jeff were here, he'd tell you the same thing."

"Would he have me do this torture machine, too? _Fuck ow!_ "

 

**********

 

Thursday evening the entire Gang met up at Monet's one last time to study together. The next day was Justin's easiest final - physical ed - and for the first time all week he was truly relaxed. So much so, that he and Jess engaged in their own conversation aside from everyone else for a few minutes.

"So they've got this fair thing by the harbor this weekend, and I thought we could go with Clay and Sheri. Is that all right? Or would you like to do something else?"

"That sounds fun, actually. Wow...a real date. New Justin is a really interesting guy, that's for sure."

"I kept telling you that," Justin smiled. "By the way...thank you for all the little notes in my locker this week. That was really sweet of you."

Jess smiled back and kissed his cheek. "Glad to do it."

"I've kept all of them."

"Really?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah. I wanna, like...I dunno...mom had this idea of starting like a scrapbook or whatever, add stuff to it from the last month or whatever and then all of next year. I don't have a lot of stuff saved from when I lived with...well. You know."

"I think that's an amazing idea."

Clay came limping over. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Hey, I'm getting a refill...you all want anything?"

"Clay, what's wrong?" Jess asked.

"Leg day."

 

**********

 

**Tuesday Evening, The Week After Finals**

 

Clay sat at the kitchen table at his laptop, refreshing the screen every few minutes. Justin stood behind him, biting his fingernail and rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Dude. Don't do that. It's gross."

"How can you even see what I'm doing?"

"Eyes in the back of my head. Just...don't."

Lainie came over and put her hand on Justin's shoulder. "Honey...relax, they said grades were due by six. It's only five after, give it some time."

"A watched pot never boils," Matt added.

"Okay, here we go..." Clay had brought up his grades:

 

 

**French 3                         A**

**Alter. Sugg & Strat.        A**

**AP English Comp            A**

**PE 3                                C**

**AP World History            A**

**Earth Sciences                A**

**Trigonometry                 A**

 

 

"Good job, honey!" Lainie hugged him from behind and kissed the top of his head.

"Congratulations, kiddo," Matt got up and came behind Clay also.

"Nice, bro. Where's mine! Come onnnnnn!"

"Okay, okay...hang on," Clay typed in Justin's information, which then came up on the screen:

 

**Earth Sciences            A**

**PE 3                            A**

**US History                  B**

**English Lit                  C/X**

**Algebra II                   C**

**Comp Sci.                   B**

 

"I....I did it....I...oh, holy shit...I actually did it!" Justin put a hand over his mouth. The "X" stood for incomplete, but a grade of a C meant he did well enough on the final exam, and would only have to take a five week summer session to make up missed work. "I...oh my God..." He was tearing up a little now.

Lainie turned and hugged him. "We're so proud of you, sweetheart! Congratulations!"

"Well done, Justin." Matt put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed as he hugged his wife.

Clay closed the laptop and stood up. Looking over at Justin hugging his mother, he smiled and nodded. Then, Justin came over and hugged him, burying his face in Clay's neck.

"I've never gotten A's and B's before....thank you. For everything."

Clay wrapped his arms around Justin's waist. "Hey...that was all you, bro. I just gave a little push here and there is all."

Justin pulled out of the hug and wiped his eyes. "And got our friends to buck me up. What....you think I didn't figure that one out?"

"Too much of a coincidence, huh?"

"That had you written all over it. But I really appreciated it. I needed it."

"Well," Lainie interrupted, "this calls for a celebration. I say we eat out tonight."

Matt nodded in agreement. "Excellent idea, and I think these guys should pick. Boys, where do you want to go?"

Clay and Justin looked at each other. "I think Justin should pick...he's the big winner here today."

Winner.

Clay's choice of that word echoed in Justin's head for a bit. He'd heard it before, true, but in the context of basketball, or sleeping with any number of girls when Old Justin was around. For the first time in his life, he was hearing it for something totally different, and far more meaningful. His own mother, to the best of his knowledge, had never used it, nor could he ever recall her saying that she was proud of him. Now, here were three people who had opened up their home to him, showed him what a real, loving family was all about, and gave him that love and support unconditionally. These three, who only nine months before would have thought the idea of him being a part of their lives as ludicrous, were _proud_ of him, believed in him, and wanted him to succeed. It was a strange feeling, to be sure.

But it was a feeling he truly loved. And he swore never to take these three people, nor his friends, for granted.

"Earth to Justin...where do you want to eat?" Clay poked him in the stomach.

"How about that little Italian place downtown? The one you took Sheri to. I've always wanted to go there."

"Italian it is. Five minutes, and we're on our way." Lainie went to go get her purse, Matt his keys.

Clay put an arm around Justin as they walked to the front door. "See what happens when you don't give up and believe in yourself?"

Justin nodded in agreement.

Believing in oneself, he had to admit, was a very good thing indeed.

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, yeah...Clay got a C in PE. I can't believe it either! Well, the guy did just start working out and running regularly, so maybe that'll change next year.
> 
> Hi there Mazers! Welcome back, and I hope you enjoyed Chapter Twenty Three! We finally made it to the end of the school year, and that means summer is upon us! Which means a whole new slew of summer based stories are on their way, including the road trip, Clay's continued recovery, and maybe just a touch of angst here and there. 
> 
> But before we get there, we have just two more chapters to go in this first book (or "season" if you will) to go! 
> 
> As far as the courses Clay and Justin were in: I took as canon from the series the "ASS" class that Clay was placed in, and if you've read the book it's mentioned that the coursework he was taking was challenging. So, it stood to reason he would have some AP classes in there. Justin needed an elective, hence the Computer Science.
> 
> Oh! I've put together a "soundtrack" to Book One on Spotify. Once the last two chapters are done and those songs added, I'll put up the link for everyone to listen along to as you - I hope! - go back and read it again.
> 
> As always, I appreciate the kudos, your feedback and comments. Thank you so much again for reading...and stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return in the penultimate chapter, coming soon!


	24. And These Old Hopes And Fears, Still At My Side...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a double date, but Justin continues to struggle with his personal demons. Plus, he and Clay get some news about their futures....

_And these streets_  
_Quiet as a sleeping army_  
_Send their battered dreams to heaven, to heaven_  
_For the mother's restless son_  
_Who is a witness to, who is a warrior_  
_Who denies his urge to break and run_

 _W_ _ho says: Hard times?_  
_I'm used to them_  
_The speeding planet burns_  
_I'm used to that_  
_My life's so common it disappears_  
_And sometimes even music_  
_Cannot substitute for tears_

  - from "The Cool, Cool River," by Paul Simon

  

 

 

 

 

Finals week and the school year were now over, and summer had officially begun. Lazy days were ahead, tempered by a shift at a part-time job or, in the case of Justin and Sheri, summer school. There was also some talk about a group road trip together - Justin was insistent on Disneyland as he had never been there, but truth be told he had never experienced a real vacation, so anywhere was going to be just fine - and various plans with the Gang regarding the beach, hiking (much to Clay's chagrin), backyard cookouts and various other adventures, planned or spontaneous.

For Clay Jensen, this summer meant further therapy sessions, as he continued to heal and work through his PTSD diagnosis. There would also be running, lots of running, with Justin or by himself, because what he had decided to do, though he was keeping it a secret for now, was to try out for the Liberty High cross-country and track teams his senior year. There would also be the first discussions and explorations regarding college.

For Justin Foley, this summer would be the first one he could spend with a real family. In addition to the road trip, Matt and Lainie had dropped some hints about a family vacation at some point, which was something that, again, Justin had never experienced before. He would also fight the battle against his addiction, continue treatments, and attempt to put the past behind him once and for all. College? That was something that Old Justin probably never would have dreamed of considering, but New Justin was thinking a little bit in that direction - if only because Clay was going to start looking into his options.

For each, these first few days of summer would also bring some rather important news, as a chapter would close for one of them, and begin for the other. And, they would also bring a reminder that nothing was ever as easy it seems.

 

**********

 

Lockers were cleared out that Friday afternoon once the last exams were taken, and to celebrate that first weekend, a fair and carnival, which was set up near the local harbor as the kick off to summer, was suggested as a destination for a double date that Saturday evening. True, the rest of the Gang would most likely be there as well, in addition to parents and friends, but this would be a way to take Jessica out on a real date, and having Clay and Sheri along meant it might not be quite as awkward.

Previously, Justin and Jess had not dated exactly per se, as much as they had gravitated to one another and had an intense, largely physical, relationship. But again, that was the Old Justin. The New Justin, determined to do things the right way, and perhaps subconsciously following Clay's example, wanted a real boyfriend-girlfriend experience. That meant date nights and taking things slowly this time around. True, they had made out and rather intensely on Prom night, but each had agreed to simply do that and nothing more. For the first time in as long as he could remember, perhaps ever, that night Justin had kissed and fallen asleep with a girl _with his clothes still on_ and was content not having had sex. He even turned down two of his regular hookups the last week of classes, thinking in his own mind that it would have been cheating on Jess, and he wasn't about to do that.

So, it was early Saturday evening, and Clay and Justin were in the process of getting ready for their first ever double date. Or were attempting to, as Matt and Lainie could hear from downstairs.

"Justin is that my shirt? I was going to wear that one!"

"It looks better on me."

"It's too small on you!"

"But it shows off my arms...see?"

"Please...don't flex..."

"Where's my socks?"

"I don't know, I don't wear them."

"Yes you do, what're you talking about?"

"No, I don't wear _your_ socks."

"Oh."

"I want to wear that shirt!"

"You've got other ones!"

"Yeah, but I like _that_ one!"

Sitting in a chair in the living room, Matt looked over at Lainie on the couch and shook his head. "Well...we did say we wanted another son."

"Yes. Yes we did," Lainie agreed as she scrolled through her phone. "I was just thinking...remembering, really, growing up with my sister. Be thankful they aren't girls."

"Oh, Good Lord, no thank you," Matt chuckled in reply.

"Where are my shoes?"

"They're downstairs, Justin.  Please can I wear my shirt?"

"Geez, Jensen, what's the big deal?"

"Because, _almost Jensen_ , I. Like. That. Shirt!"

Justin came trotting down the stairs. "Mom, I need your opinion...does this look better on me or on Clay?"

"Oh, you are so not playing the mom card!" Clay said as he quickly followed and came down as well, shirtless.

"Well...it does look good on you, Justin, I have to admit," Lainie said.

"Moommmm!" Clay protested, as Justin beamed.

"Honey, why don't you wear your gray one, it looks very nice on you."

"She's not wrong, son," Matt added. "And it is just a shirt, after all."

Clay threw his hands up in exasperation. "Ugh. _Fine_. You owe me though," he said as he pointed at Justin before turning to go back up the stairs to their room.

"I owe you for wearing your shirt? Oh hey, what size is the gray one?" Justin called after him. Clay just discretely flipped him off in reply.

"Has he always been like this?" Justin asked, turning back to his foster parents and walking into the living room. "Like...I don't mean it in a bad way or anything, and I love him to death...but, man.."

"Kiddo, your brother has always been a little...intense?...with things as it is. Determined is a better word, maybe," Matt explained.

"Stubborn is more like it," Justin grinned.

"That too."

Justin's grin and attitude that first weekend of summer was a cover for something, though, something he had been struggling with since the beginning of finals week. The stress and pressure to do well had brought his own personal demons, that of addiction, to the surface, and although Clay and the Gang had distracted him and supported him during study sessions and in-between exams, they had no idea of the fight going on inside of him. It would just be so _easy,_ they seemed to be taunting him - score some H, shoot up or even smoke it, take the edge off and have a chill weekend...hell, it would probably make some of the lights and rides at the fair really fucking intense.

He'd called his sponsor earlier that week, and didn't want to bother him again (the man had a family of his own, after all), and he didn't want anyone else to worry about him or force him to cancel the date night. So, he resolved to fight it himself and as best as he could. But as this Saturday went on, and the time to get ready and pick up the girls was approaching, the fight was getting more and more intense. After all, he hadn't called Clay "Jensen" in several weeks now - that should have been a sign, one that Clay had missed during their pseudo-argument about a shirt.

 

**********

 

The area near the harbor and pier had been transformed thanks to a series of rides, booths with various games, and food carts and trucks, the smell of their wares wafting through the air to tempt and entice patrons as they approached. While it wasn't the size or scale of a county or state fair, this particular event had become an annual tradition in the town of Crestmont, and one that just about every resident looked forward to. This was the perfect event and time for a double date. The sky was clear, and a gentle breeze made the evening cool yet comfortable. One last time for hoodie weather.

"Oh my God...this is not going to end well," Clay muttered to himself, which caused Sheri and Jess to each turn their heads and look at him.

"Wait...I thought you were all right with all of us doing this tonight?" Jess asked, confused.

"Huh? Oh! No, no...not that...us. That," he replied, pointing to Justin waiting in line at a food truck selling different kinds of grilled cheese sandwiches. "I told him to wait until after we'd done some rides or whatever before eating. He's been stress eating so much this week as it is."

"You probably should pull him out of line then," Sheri said.

Clay smirked at her. "Am I my brother's keeper?"

"In this case...yes. Unless you want him to get sick on you. Or me. Or Jess."

Clay sighed. "Yeah...okay." He kissed Sheri on the cheek. "Be right back." Making his way through the passing crowd, head nodding and smiling to a few people he knew from school or otherwise as he did so, he reached Justin waiting his turn in line to order.

"Hey...you really want to do this now? I told you to wait," he said.

"I'm hungry."

"Yeah, I get that. But I'm telling you, this isn't a good idea."

"Dude, it's just a sandwich."

"Yes. Which has all the potential to come racing back up from your digestive system and all over somebody, probably one of us."

"Clay...I'll be fine, just let me get one."

"Justin..."

"Jesus, Clay! Quit nagging me already, willya?" Justin had raised his voice some in reply, which caused Clay to narrow his eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine! Just let me get something to fucking eat, okay?"

Clay crossed his arms and scowled at Justin, when the voice inside of his head, his psyche, showed up for a little talk.

 

**********

 

_He's not fine._

Yeah...I'm gathering that. Any ideas as to what's wrong?

_It was a stressful week._

Well, no shit. That's why we're here tonight, to have some fun.

_No...think about it. It was a stressful week._

Uh huh. Annnnnd?

_And what do you think Justin used to do when he was under stress?_

Get drunk and get laid.

_And what else?_

Oh. OH! Oh shit!

_Yep._

Goddammit, can't we just have a nice weekend without...

_Hey! Take it easy there, tiger. Ever stop and think about what he must have felt every time you've had a mini freakout here lately?_

Gah. Sorry. You're right. It's just frustrating.

_Imagine how he feels right now fighting this._

Good point.

_You know what to do._

He'll....he'll get mad. Like, really mad...

_You'll get over it. So will he._

 

**********

 

"Okay, come on...we're gonna have a chat." Clay took Justin by the arm and pulled him out of line and began to walk him away, which his foster brother was not happy about at all.

"The fuck! Hey, I was almost at the front!"

"You can get one later...come on, we're going to talk."

"Clay....let go of me..."

"No."

Justin was fighting against him a little. "Clay, I said let go of me!"

"Listen," Clay essentially pushed Justin over to the edge of the pier, behind the food trucks, so they could not be seen and hopefully not heard. "Stop and listen and calm down. Right now. Do you want to act like this in front of Jess?"

"Jess wouldn't have pulled me out of line! And act like what?"

"Justin, I said calm down."

"I am calm!"

Clay kept his voice as even as he could. "Then why are you starting to yell at me?"

"I'm not yelling at you!"

"You just did it again. Lower your voice..."

"Fuck you, Jensen, I'll talk however I want! Why don't you leave me the hell alone already? Jesus, I don't need a fucking babysitter or whatever!"

"Hey...big brother."

Justin had his mouth open, ready to say something else and probably quite loudly and filled with unintentional venom, but upon hearing the words Clay had used, he paused.

"Big brother...c'mon...I know what's going on. Okay? You haven't been yourself all day long. You should have said something earlier."

Justin exhaled and ran his hands through his hair, closing his eyes and lowering his head as he did so. "I'm trying. I can't help it," he said quietly.

"I know you are...we could have postponed tonight and come tomorrow or something, they would have understood..."

"No...I didn't want to do that....I wanted tonight to be perfect." He raised his head and looked at Clay. "He...he's here. My old dealer. Aiden. I saw him when we got here..."

"Shit...okay. What do we need to do?"

"What's this _we_ shit?" Justin's voice was raising again.

"Big bro...we're in this together. What do we need to do, how can I help?"

"Score me some shit."

"Justin, come on...that's not funny."

"Fuck, I know....I'm sorry." He turned to the railing and held onto it, looking down at the water. "I don't know if I can do this..."

"Hey," Clay came next to him and put an arm on his back. "Yes. You can. You've been _so_ strong. I'll help keep you distracted tonight. And don't forget, you have a date waiting on you."

"Keep....keep me away from him. Okay?"

"You got it."

Justin continued to stare at the water. "You have no idea how hard this fucking is...."

"I don't? Really? Hey...you try and remind yourself every time you hear a loud noise that it's not the sound of your head being slammed into the edge of a locker, or a fist smashing up against your skull. You think you're alone in this, then think again."

"Man. When we told each other we were fucked up, we weren't kidding, were we?"

"Well....no. But I'd say we're doing a pretty good job, even being fucked up. Now, what else can I do to help?"

Sighing, Justin straightened up. "Just...keep an eye on me. Okay? Don't let me do anything really stupid."

"Like eating something before going on some rides?" Clay ginned.

"Yes. Like that."

"Okay then. Ready to go back to our dates?"

Justin nodded in response as he turned with Clay to walk back. "I made it through finals without using...I can do this. Right?" he asked, seeking reassurance and affirmation from his foster brother.

"Absolutely."

Jess and Sheri awaited their return, each looking a bit concerned. "Everything all right?" Jess asked.

Clay and Justin looked at one another.

"Yeah...Clay...convinced me not to eat anything just yet even though I kinda wanted to. Took a few minutes is all. Cause like...I really, really wanted to. But I think I'm okay now. Let's go have some fun."

 

**********

 

"This is too easy, you can do it."

After a few rides and some long awaited food for Justin - who had, for the time being, settled down - they found themselves at one of several booths where one could win a variety of prizes, such as, in this case, stuffed animals of varying sizes. Justin had knocked down three stacks of milk bottles, resulting in Jess obtaining an oversized unicorn, much to her amusement, and was now trying to convince Clay that he could do the same.

"Okay....I've never thrown a baseball in my life well, for one thing. For another," he held up his right hand, "I don't know how well I could grip it even if I wanted to with these."

"You don't have to hold it super tight, just give it a try."

Clay looked at Sheri, who smiled back at him in a little bit of anticipation. "I mean, the pink dragon is kinda cute," she said.

Rolling his eyes, Clay put down his money and picked up the first baseball. Wincing a little as he held it, his scars still a little tight, he took aim and threw, somehow miraculously knocking down the first set.

"Oh, holy shit!"

"See? Told ya. Two more, you got this!"

The second set went down. The third...not so much. So, while a pink dragon wasn't obtained, a smaller stuffed penguin was.

"It's cute," Sheri kissed Clay on the cheek. "I'm going to name him Clayton."

Clay rolled his eyes and groaned as Justin snickered and giggled behind him.

" _Clayton_...that's perfect!" he laughed.

"Yeah...okay. Jess, I think you should name the unicorn JuJu."

"Dude, really??"

 

**********

 

Later that night, after taking their dates to their respective homes and making plans with them for the next day (in the case of Sheri) or later in the week (for Jess), Justin sat on the floor of their room while Clay cleaned up and changed clothes, his back up against the couch. He gnawed some on his thumbnail and closed his eyes, fighting once more the urges within him. Had the stress of the previous week not been so bad, this probably wouldn't be happening right now, or perhaps not as bad. After all, the addiction was always going to be a part of him now, it was a matter of being able to face it down and control it. But the gnawing in his gut, mirroring what he was doing to his nail, was there, speaking to him again. Reminding him of how good it would make him feel, just one little hit...no one would have to know. Hell, he had kept it from the Jensens before, he could do it again. And all the stress would just melt away, and it would feel so, so good.

No stress about exams. No nagging memories of that asshole Bryce. Or, nagging memories of that even bigger asshole, Seth.

Justin brought his knees up and rocked back and forth a little.

Seth.

This was all his fault, really. The reason why he ran away, why he started using to begin with while on the streets, why his mother had turned on him and instead chose a life of drugs and getting high instead of her own son.

Seth.

He was still out there, somewhere, Justin knew that. His mother, too. There would be a reckoning with both at some point. When, exactly, he wasn't sure, but it would come, no doubt about it.

Seth.

God.

Seth could have killed him. Almost did, his hands wrapped tightly around his throat, squeezing, cutting off air, nearly crushing his windpipe.

There were others, of course, other men in his mother's life that had abused him physically and nearly sexually. But this was the first time he felt afraid, truly afraid, that he would die at one of their hands.

"Justin?"

The nightmares he had had when he first came to live with the Jensens. The tossing and turning, whimpering and moaning, waking up drenched in sweat. It took days for those to end - using had helped some, but without it, they took longer to stop. Shooting up now...he could put thoughts of Seth out of his mind again...

"Hey...Justin? You all right?"

It would be so easy. Forget the stress. Forget the _pain_. Forget that his mother had essentially abandoned him. Forget that Seth....

"Justin...hey, come on...what's wrong man?"

....hands around his throat, choking, squeezing...the look in his eyes, pure malice...he could have killed me and not have cared....

"Justin?" Clay put his hand on Justin's shoulder and shook it some.

"No, stop! Don't!!!"

Justin reared up and backhanded Clay, not realizing who it was, before bringing his fists up to his face to cover up in the classic boxing move and leaning towards his right. Clay yelped in surprise and pain, grabbing onto the side of his face and staggering back, losing his balance some. He grabbed onto the side of the couch before falling over, and sat down as Justin realized what he had done. Slowly, he had brought his head out from behind his fists and turned to look at Clay, who was now on the floor as well, leaning against the couch while rubbing his cheek.

"Oh my God...oh shit...oh fucking shit....Clay, I'm _so_ sorry!" Justin's eyes widened as he reached over.

Clay whimpered and he leaned back out of reach.

 

**********

 

_Calm down...just calm down. He didn't mean it. You know he didn't mean it._

Gotta run gotta get away make it stop make it stop

_Clay, take it easy...take some deep breaths...._

Hurt so bad Monty hurt me so bad

_Clay, it's NOT Monty. It's Justin. And he didn't mean it. Deep breaths, come on....there you go. Just like that._

I'm scared!

_I know you are. It's all right. Calm down. Keep breathing._

 

**********

 

"Clay? Clay I'm sorry!"

Clay continued to take some deep breaths, slowly, as he rubbed his cheek and chin. "What....what happened? Are you all right?" he asked quietly.

Justin's eyes welled up with tears as he carefully started to move next to Clay. "I don't know! I was...I was thinking about using and started thinking about Seth...and....fuck, I'm sorry Clay!"

Clay nodded. "Hey....it's okay. I'm okay now. You've got a mean left hook there."

Justin didn't laugh, only wiped his eyes and blinked away some tears, or tried to.

"This is so hard, Clay. Like, really, really hard."

Clay sighed and scooted over so he was next to Justin and put his arm around him. "I know."

"I...I miss her. My mom. I know I shouldn't, she didn't really want me or love me....but I do."

Clay nodded and pulled Justin closer to him.

"Like...if she had just been a real mom, maybe I wouldn't be like this. I'm so fucked up. I should've just...kept running, stayed on the streets or whatever the fuck...you don't deserve this..."

"Hey...stop that. Don't say that." Clay brought Justin in for a hug now. "Come on. Think of everything we've been through together in just the last couple of months. I don't think I could've made it if you weren't here. You're getting better, we both are. It sucks, yes, but it takes time. Like I said earlier, you think I like freaking out like I did just now? It sucks, I get it. And hey...look at me. Justin, come on....look at me. Please?"

Sniffling, Justin pulled back and looked at Clay.

"Okay, real talk. So yeah, you were a pain in the ass at first. But now? Justin...I couldn't imagine you _not_ being here. So don't you think for a minute I want you gone, got it? Try it and I'll have to come find you and kick your ass."

This caused Justin to laugh a little in spite of his crying. "I'd like to see you try."

"That makes two of us, bro. Hey, remember looking at the water earlier tonight? Did you notice something about it, the river? It's moving. It's always moving, and it's always changing. And that's life, Justin...we've got to keep moving and changing, just like that river."

"Dude," Justin laughed again as he wiped his eyes. "Are you always like this? Seriously?"

"It's one of my charms. But for real...it's going to be okay. Yeah?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah...yeah okay."

"Come on, I'll kick your ass in some Fortnite before we crash. And if you want, you can share the bed again with me."

"Okay. Hey...I'm really sorry I hit you, bro."

"It's okay," Clay stood up and helped Justin get to his feet. "I still love ya, shithead."

 

**********

 

**Wednesday Evening**

 

The next few days were significantly better. Justin's urges had settled down, final grades had come in, and once that had happened it was as if all of the stress and tension of the last week had never been there to begin with.

Lainie came home from work that day with news that she shared over dinner.

"So some things happened at work today that are going to affect us, and very soon. Clay, honey...the District Attorney contacted me today."

"What? Why?"

"They'd like to interview you. About Montgomery. His trial is apparently going to happen a lot sooner than we thought."

"Finally," Matt said. "Maybe there will be some justice..."

"Hang on a second....why would they want to interview me? What do I have to do with it?"

"I'm not one hundred percent certain, but you might be called to testify because of the pattern of abuse and assault. Let's talk to them first and then find out for sure, all right?"

"Great...the one thing I _didn't_ want to do and I might have to anyway. Just wonderful." Clay's mood soured as he shook his head and put down his fork.

"There's more. Justin?"

"Uh oh." Justin was about to take a drink of water and stopped. "What's wrong. What did I do?"

"It's what you're about to do, sweetie."

Justin turned and looked at Clay, who shrugged in return. "What? What am I about to do?"

"Be adopted!"

 

_To be concluded!_

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there again, Mazers! Welcome back, and I hope you enjoyed our penultimate chapter!
> 
> Sorry for the long pause there, but classes started back up, and Ye Writer has been busy molding young minds, or trying to at least! So having said that, I'll continue to update regularly, but there might be some delays here and there. Never fear, though, as we have a long way to go!
> 
> I wanted to write something a little more Justin-centric, and start to explore his own struggles. This is something I plan on doing more of in future stories, whether as one-shots or part of a longer one. My lovely inspiration Bitterblue33 mentioned "Aiden" in passing not too long ago as Justin's dealer in Chapter 18 of "A Destiny Which Makes Us Brothers," and I figured/hoped she wouldn't mind a quickie reference here as well!
> 
> And now we have some big clues as to the future for our heroes! The concluding chapter of Maze will cover one of these, and a one shot will take care of the other. Don't forget there's a soundtrack coming also!
> 
> So with that said...as always, thank you for your kudos, feedback and comments! Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return in the conclusion of "A Maze of Moments Book One," coming soon!


	25. Dance Into The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our initial tale concludes! It's Adoption Day for Justin!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is the "A Maze of Moments - Book One" playlist! I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/508dXWScU8xdVY8gFACqDf

 

 

* * *

   

_I walk the maze of moments_  
_But everywhere I turn to_  
_Begins a new beginning_  
_But never finds a finish_  
_I walk to the horizon_  
_And there I find another_  
_It all seems so surprising_  
_And then I find that I know..._

 - from "Anywhere Is," by Enya

 

* * *

 

 

"Want me to help?"

Just as it was on the afternoon he testified in court, then the night of the Spring Fling, and then on the night of the Junior-Senior Prom,  Justin Foley stood in front of the mirror in the bedroom he shared with Clay Jensen, and shaky hands were struggling with his tie. This was it, today was the day.

He was going to be adopted. He would officially become a Jensen.

A thousand different thoughts ran through his head as he stared at himself in that mirror, attempting to make the perfect Half Windsor Knot, just the way Clay had taught him. Actually, according to Clay, there were seventeen different ways to tie a tie, and he pledged to teach Justin each one of them in turn. The basic Four In Hand was easy enough, the Half Windsor wasn't that bad....but seventeen of these altogether? Plus a bow tie?

Well. No one said Clay _wasn't_ still a little uptight sometimes.

But, back to those thousand different thoughts. As the old saying went, what a long, strange trip it had been. Nearly a year ago, he was living with his now absent mother, Amber, and the latest in a long line of abusive boyfriends, Seth, and to say he suffered under these conditions would be putting it mildly. Seth was more than just abusive - he was an addict and a dealer, and on more than one occasion Justin was in fear for his life. Amber, the woman who was supposed to protect him, either could not or would not, no matter how much he had begged her to, or begged her to leave Seth.

There was time spent on the streets, in homeless shelters, in hobo camps. Panhandling. Heroin use and the associated addiction.

And none of that even touched the situation of the past school year - a horror story of rape, suicide, tapes, and an attempted school shooting.

But then, along comes Clay Jensen, of all people. The Warrior who sought justice for Hannah and Jess, who absorbed more than his fair share of physical or mental abuse during that time at the hands of assorted asshole jocks, present company included, who had found Justin and took him in.

At first, Warrior Clay brought Justin into his home with the sole intention of getting him on the stand in court and take down Bryce. However, as so happens in life, a series of moments occurred, twists and turns in the maze of this strange situation they each had been thrust into. First, Justin's presence was discovered in the Jensen household, and while Matt and Lainie were less than thrilled originally, he was gradually welcomed and accepted. It wasn't easy, and Clay did harbor some resentment and jealousy at times. And it was Justin Fucking Foley, after all. They weren't exactly sworn enemies, but one would hardly have called them friends when the previous school year had started.  But he gradually got over it as he realized how nice it was to have someone to confide in and slowly open up to. Then, in the midst of Clay's emotional trauma and breakdown, Justin had prevented him from committing suicide and murder outside Bryce's home.

"Friendship is complicated," he had said. "You find yourself doing things you never thought you'd do." Neither would have admitted it to each other at that time, but they really were forging a friendship, as bizarre and unlikely as that suggestion may have seemed only a few short months before.

And then....

 

**********

 

"So, um....I think my mom explained to you how she got you released into emergency custody."

"Yeah, she explained it."

"The thing is, that's only temporary. And because you're not eighteen for almost a year, once that expires, you become a ward of the state."

"Yeah, the social worker told me about that."

"Okay. Yeah. And there's only like...two group homes in this county you'd be eligible for, and you couldn't finish school at Liberty and stuff. And my parents...I mean, _me_ and my parents...wanted to see if you might want them to adopt you."

"Wait...what?"

"Like...adopt you. Into our family."

"Y-you mean...like, I'd be your _brother."_

 

**********

 

Maybe it was a good idea, Clay had gone on to say. What went unspoken that afternoon, was how much thought Clay had put into this. After all, his parents had left it up to him to make the decision. At first, as he explained to Justin, it did seem idiotic. But the more he thought about it, it did make more and more sense. He had come to know Justin better over the last several weeks prior to his release from juvenile detention, and he had concluded that he wasn't _really_ that bad of a kid. Sure, he had made a lot of major mistakes and missteps, and especially during the last school year. There were a lot of things he would have to atone for. But there was more to it than that. The majority of Justin's life, Clay realized, he had been abused in one form or the other. True, he didn't like opening up about it, and was only slowly - ever so slowly - starting to do so. He just needed some things he had never had before, tools in his toolbox as it were. Things like a loving and a supportive family.

Plus, Clay had _always_ wanted a brother. And while he was older than Justin by a couple of months, he came to see him as the big brother in their relationship.

So much had happened since that day at Monet's. It wasn't easy. The two of them had to learn how to live with one another and accept each other, or this adoption thing would never work. It had taken time, and Clay being injured, but they had achieved that at last....

 

**********

 

" _MotherFUCKER!!!"_

_"...and if you EVER touch my brother again, I swear to fucking God I WILL kill you!!"_

 

**********

 

It was an epiphany of sorts - for as much as Justin needed Clay and the Jensen family, Clay needed Justin in his life.

And so the day had finally come.

"Hey...for real, I can help," Clay said as he watched Justin start the Half Windsor a third time with those shaking hands.

"No...no, I got it....I'm just nervous..." Justin replied, looking back at him through the mirror.

"So I gather. It's going to be fine, take a deep breath and relax."

Justin closed his eyes and followed Clay's advice. "Yeah. Hey...so I've been thinking about something. I never thanked you."

Clay tilted his head a little. "Thanked me? For what?"

"This. All of this. Bringing me home. Saving my life." He was back at it, looping the wide end of the deep blue tie around and back behind the thin end. "I think about...sometimes...what would have happened to me if you didn't do all this. I dunno where I'd be right now otherwise. Still on the streets, trying to score. Fuck, I might be dead for all we know. But...yeah. So I never thanked you, Clay. I don't know if I can ever thank you enough or repay you."

Getting up from the desk chair, Clay came over behind Justin as he tightened the knot, and just as he had done so many weeks ago, placed a friendly hand on Justin's shoulder as he finished adjusting the length of the tie. "You already have repaid me. More times than you know."

"Yeah?"

Clay nodded. "Absolutely. I've told you, I don't think I would have made it the last couple months if you hadn't been here to help after I got hurt, or even before that...there's no telling. And you're very welcome. Hey...it took seventeen years, but I finally got my brother. That's repayment enough." He punctuated his statement by squeezing Justin's shoulder.

"Dude, don't make me start crying," Justin laughed as he smiled at Clay through the mirror.

"I got you something," Clay smiled back as he turned and walked back over to the desk and picked up a small bag. "When we get your room all set up, you're going to need some things for your walls, and I saw this. I thought it might be something you'd like."

He handed the bag to Justin, who opened it and took out a small wooden wall hanging. The top portion had a picture, the silhouette of a young man looking out on a sunset over the water. Written underneath:

**A Brother**

_**When you're with him, you can be yourself...** _

_**you can trust him with a secret.** _

_**He'll kid with you when the going's great,** _

_**he'll help you out when the going's rough.** _

_**He's a friend...he's a brother.** _

"I found that at the card shop downtown one afternoon with Sheri...I hope you like it. Like, it's not too cheesy or anything?"

Justin looked at it and re-read what it said, running his fingers over it. "I...I love it," he said quietly. "Dammit, Clay, I told you not to make me cry. Thank you."

Clay smiled again as he got Justin's suit coat from the bed. "I'm really glad you like it. Here," he handed it over to Justin.

Justin put on his new coat and adjusted his tie one last time, and shot his cuffs. "How do I look?"

"Perfect. All set?"

"All set."

"Okay then. Let's go make you a Jensen."

 

**********

 

Lainie Jensen picked up a stack of file folders and placed them in her briefcase. Zipping it closed, she took a deep breath of her own before looking over at her husband.

"Well. This is it."

Matt Jensen nodded. "This is it."

"Any regrets?"

Matt shook his head. "No. None at all. You?"

"Not at all. We...oh, Matt. We're finally getting our second child. Another son," she smiled.

Matt came over and kissed his wife before hugging her. "It just took us a little bit longer than we expected is all. I'm glad we chose to do this. All three of us."

Lainie nodded in agreement. "You know...part of me was ready to go ahead with this even if Clay didn't agree."

"Me too...although I have to admit, I wouldn't have wanted to see what kind of argument that would have resulted in," Matt chuckled.

"What kind of argument?" Clay asked as he came around the corner, putting on his suit coat.

"Nothing, honey. All set?" Lainie asked.

"Yep. We're ready." Clay turned to look behind him, expecting to see Justin, who was not there. "Well...I thought we were. Huh. He was behind me a second ago....I'll go back and get him."

"I've got it, kid. Wait here with mom." Matt said before going upstairs to Clay's bedroom. Peeking his head around the door, he saw Justin sitting on Clay's bed, looking down at his hands.

"Hey kiddo. We're almost ready to go...everything okay?"

Justin nodded in response, prompting Matt to come in and sit down next to him. "Not having second thoughts, are you?"

"No," Justin shook his head, "I'm not. I was just thinking is all. Like...how I don't deserve this. Any of this. I did some pretty fuck..uh...screwed up things. You know? And I'm still such a broken mess in a lot of ways, and you and mom and Clay...like, you looked past that. I still don't get it sometimes. You know?"

Matt nodded. "Justin, you know we saw the good in you. All three of us. We're so fortunate to have you in our lives now, and to make you a part of our family. Hey, you may be a 'broken mess', as you call it...but you're _our_ broken mess." This caused Justin to laugh a little, which put a smile on Matt's face.

"Listen, Justin, we'll help put it all back together. You've taken a lot of important steps in doing that. You are in no way the same young man that you were when I first found you in this bedroom, and I hope you believe that. That Justin is long gone."

"The Old Justin. Yeah...he wasn't a very good person."

"Well, the New Justin most certainly is."

"You know what?"

"What?"

Justin sighed. "I wish...that you were my dad...earlier. And mom and Clay were...you know."

Matt wrapped an arm around Justin and pulled him close to his side. "I know. Well...I'm going to be your dad now. And you're going to be my son. So...while I may not have been there for the first seventeen years, I am now, and we can make up for a lot of lost time together. I don't know about you, but I'm really looking forward to it. Sound good?"

"Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that sounds good," Justin smiled, wiping at his eyes.

"Okay. Come on. Son. Let's not keep your mom and brother waiting."

 

**********

 

"All rise!"

At the bailiff's command, those in the courtroom did so, as the judge entered.

"All those having business before the Family Court for the County of Alameda and the State of California, come forth and be heard. The honorable Judge Frances Blair presiding."

Dennis Vasquez stood next to Lainie and Justin at a table facing the bench. Behind them were Matt and Clay, and present in the courtroom were members of the Gang - Tony, Jess, Sheri, Alex, Cyrus and Zach.

"Good morning, everyone, you may be seated," Judge Blair instructed with a smile. "This morning we have one case before the Court, the finalization of the adoption proceedings on behalf of Justin Foley. All seems to be in readiness. We've gotten positive reports from DCFS and your social worker since the emergency custody was granted two months ago," she said, flipping through and quickly skimming over the paperwork in Justin's file. "According to the previous decree in your file, Justin, your birth mother has had her parental rights terminated involuntarily due to her refusal to answer the summons of the Court. Under the laws of the state of California, you will need to verbally give your consent to your adoption by Matthew and Lainie Jensen. Do you understand and is this your desire?"

Justin stood nervously and cleared his throat. "Yes, your honor. It is."

The judge smiled again. "No need to look so scared, Justin, it's going to be fine." She initialed and signed the paperwork from the file opened in front of her. "It says here that you are requesting your name be legally changed to Justin Michael Foley-Jensen. Is this correct?"

"It is, your honor."

"Very good." She initialed and signed again. "A new birth certificate and Social Security card reflecting these changes will be issued."

From behind Lainie and Justin, behind the railing, Clay looked over at his father and each smiled at the other. The question of Justin's name had come up the week before, after Lainie had informed the family that the finalization was going to be completed in a matter of days. While he could have simply gone with 'Justin Jensen,' there was a part of him that did not and could not turn his back completely on his past, and so he had asked, somewhat shyly, if he could use a hyphenated last name. After all, he reasoned, he didn't have to go with the hyphen for everything, only for paperwork for school or the like. He explained that he was proud to have the Jensen name as his own, and intended to refer to himself as such.

"Are there any objections on behalf of the Department of Child and Family Services?"

The lawyer representing DCFS across from Justin's table stood. "While we would have preferred Amber Foley to have been present and have her testimony, we have no objection to finalization, Your Honor."

"Very good. Well then, all seems to be in order." The judge removed her reading glasses and smiled at Justin. "Justin, you're allowed to have a statement entered into the record of these proceedings. Would you like to say anything to the Court?"

Lainie had also explained that he would have an opportunity to make a statement to the Court, and he had spent the better part of an afternoon on the back porch with a notepad, writing and rewriting, carefully choosing his words.

"I would, your honor." Justin reached into the inside pocket of his coat and pulled out a piece of paper, unfolding it. Clearing his throat again, he began to read. "Almost one year ago, the person you see before you now did not exist. I was selfish and arrogant, and I made several mistakes, mistakes that I now feel that could have been prevented if I had had supportive parents. Over the last few months, and with the help of my _new_ parents and brother, I have learned the true meaning of family, and how to become a better person more and more, each and every day. I know that I will have to continue to make up for and correct my mistakes, and I intend to do that with their help. Each day that I have spent with them has been a gift. I don't know how or if I will ever be able to repay the love and kindness that they have shown me, but I will try my hardest to do so. To Matt, Lainie and Clay...my new father, mother, and brother...I am so very happy and proud to be a part of our family, and to have your name as my own."

The judge nodded in appreciation of his sentiments and looked at Justin reassuringly, as he continued.

"Thank you for..." his voice began to break and he waited a second as his lower lip trembled, "...for opening...your home to me. For trusting me...." his breath caught as he tried and failed to hold in a small sob, "and for loving me in a way that I never thought I would ever be loved." Justin blinked and reached up with his free hand to wipe away the tears that were now trickling down his cheeks, while putting his notes back into his pocket and sitting back down.

Next to him, Lainie had pulled out some tissue from her purse and dabbed at her eyes, and tapping Justin's arm, handed some over so he could do the same. From behind them, Matt took a handkerchief out of his pocket and removed his glasses to wipe his eyes, while Clay shut his own tightly and he bent forward, having promised himself that he would not cry.

He broke that promise to himself, and as he sat back up, wiped his eyes. Matt wrapped an arm around him.

"Very well said, Justin. Well said, indeed. If there is nothing else, and having signed all the necessary paperwork, by the power vested in me by the state of California, I declare that the adoption of Justin Michael Foley-Jensen is final, and that the proceedings in the matter of this adoption are concluded, _sine die._ Congratulations, Jensen family! Now, if you would like to come forward, we usually take a few pictures together. With that, this Court is adjourned."

 

**********

 

The Jensen family walked out of the courtroom and found several people waiting for them, specifically the "Scooby Gang." Upon seeing them come into the hall, Jess and Sheri ran up and hugged Justin and Clay, respectively, as Tony and Zach congratulated Matt and Lainie with hugs and handshakes. Following them, it was Cyrus and Alex's turn.

As the group walked towards the doors leading out, Zach leaned over to Alex and whispered. "Watch this," he said.

"Hey! Jensen!"

Clay and Justin turned around simultaneously and said 'What?' together.

"Knew it," Zach laughed.

"Well. Let's try not to let that happen too often. This is gonna take some getting used to," Clay said, looking at his brother.

"Man...the halls in school are gonna be fun next year, huh?"

"You know, we could get you shirts that say 'Jensen One' and 'Jensen Two' on the back. Might make it easier that way," Tony suggested with a smirk.

"Why not 'Thing One' and 'Thing Two'?" Alex added.

"Mom," Clay turned to Lainie. "Do _not_ get any ideas. None."

 

**********

 

The Jensen home was abuzz with people and activity, as the Gang and many of the parents gathered to celebrate the big day. Bill and Carolyn Standall sat with Karen Dempsey and Scott chatting, while May Dempsey was off to the side with Sheri, Sheri's mother, and Mackenzie, Cyrus' sister. Alex and Cyrus were speaking in hushed tones with Cyrus' father. Todd and Steve Crimsen, along with Courtney, joked with Ryan, much to her chagrin. Even Greg and Noelle Davis were there, and while Noelle was far more happy and enthusiastic, Greg had nevertheless congratulated Justin and had clasped his shoulder in a far more friendly manner than he had on the night of the Prom a few weeks earlier. Their two young boys ran in the backyard happily.

Lainie's sister and brother-in-law arrived, their five year old son in tow.

"Clay!"

Clay crouched down with a big smile and opened his arms wide. "Hey, Chris!" he said as the toddler came running over and hugged his older cousin tightly. Giving him a kiss on the cheek, Clay picked him up. "You're getting to be a big boy!"

"Guess what! I lost a tooth!"

"You did!" Clay gasped. "Did the tooth fairy leave you a quarter?"

"A dollar!"

"Wow, a dollar? Man....I only got a quarter when I lost my tooth! Hey, I want you to meet somebody, okay? Let's go to the backyard." Clay put him down, and held his hand and led him out back to where Justin was talking to Jess and Zach.

"Chris...this is my new brother, Justin. He's your new cousin now, too."

"You got a new brother?"

"Yep. I picked him out all by myself and everything."

Hearing this, Justin smiled and crouched down. "Hi there....oh, whoa!" he laughed as his new younger cousin came in for a hug.

"Yeah...he likes to hug."

"That's fine by me. You know what? I've never had a little cousin."

"You got me!" Chris exclaimed.

"I do?"

"Uh huh!"

"Hmmmm...well I don't know..." Justin teased, drawing out what he was saying, causing Chris to giggle as only an innocent child can.

"Uncle John, Aunt Jenny....this is Justin." Clay made more introductions as his aunt and uncle joined them. Justin stood up, little Chris now holding his hand.

"Umm...hi. It's very nice to meet you...sir. Ma'am."

"Justin," Jenny laughed as she came over and kissed his cheek and hugged him, "you don't have to be so formal. Come on, we're family now. Don't be nervous, we don't bite."

"We've heard so much about you, Justin," John said as he shook Justin's free hand. "We're so happy for you, congratulations! Here, this is for you...until we get to know our new nephew more, use this to treat yourself to something," he handed over an envelope.

"Oh....thank you...Uncle John."

"Chris, honey, let's go see what Aunt Lainie is doing in the kitchen," Jenny took her son's hand and took him towards the back door. "Later on you can spend time with your new cousin."

"Okay!"

John went over to greet Matt, who had taken up his sacred place at the grill, leaving Clay and Justin.

"How're you holding up... _Jensen_?" Clay teased.

"I'm okay, _Jensen_. Your cousin is a cool little kid."

"You mean our cousin."

"Yeah...gotta get used to that. Man. I always wanted a big family...this is...really nice. It's a lot to take in, but it's really nice."

Clay nodded. "The grandparents and the other aunts and uncles couldn't make it today, but we'll go see all of them in a couple of weeks."

"Huh."

"What?"

"I...never had grandparents. Before. Okay, so like...I think my mo...ah. Amber. Sorry."

"Hey," Clay put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, bro. It'll take some getting used to, don't worry about it."

"Yeah...so. My mother...birth mother...never mentioned her parents, and I never met them. The other kids would talk about going to see their grandpa and grandma, and I didn't have any."

Clay nodded. "Well, you have them now. They're really excited to meet you. C'mon," he smiled, "let's be with our guests."

 

**********

 

"Officially a Jensen," Tony said to Justin. "I have to admit, when Clay first told me about all of this, I wasn't too sure. But I have to say, Justin...I think this turned out to be a really good thing. For both of you."

"Thanks, man."

"Just remember what I told you about being a good brother that day a couple months ago. I know he likes to call you the older brother, and take it from me, that's a big deal."

Justin nodded. "No, I remember. And I remember when you asked me if I would take a bullet for him. I would, Tony. Absolutely. I wouldn't have to think twice about it."

"Good. I'm happy for you. I've always thought of Clay as my little gringo brother, so I guess that means you are now, too. I think it's time to introduce you to my mother's cooking."

"Dude! Hell yes! Clay's talked a lot about it, it sounds so good."

"Figures the way to your heart would be through your stomach...."

 

**********

 

Alex had pulled Clay over to the lawn.

"Want me to show you the grass and explain it?" Clay joked, recalling the night he had first asked Sheri out properly.

"No, it's grass, Clay. It's green, it grows. I get it. But....I need to ask you something. I need your advice."

"Yeah, sure. Anything. What's up?"

"So...I need to....that is, I want to..come out. To my parents. Cyrus' dad knows, so does Mackenzie, and they're both cool with it. But...being here with him, and with my mom and dad here...it's really, really hard. I can't be myself and I don't know what to do. I'd talk to Zach about it, but seeing as how he's a total straight boy...."

Clay chuckled. "And I'm not?"

"True. And I don't know Tony as well as you do, and you're like...'Scooby Gang Dad' or whatever. I really value your opinion, Clay, and since you helped Cyrus...."

"No, I get it. And hey, thanks...that means a lot. Well. I mean, just....like do it. Leap of faith and all that, right? They love you, you know that. I don't think your dad is as big of a hard ass like we all thought."

"No," Alex smiled, "he's really a big softie. You know he kisses my forehead goodnight every night?"

"See? So go ahead and do it. Alex, after everything we've all been through, and our circle of friends, I think they'll be fine."

"Okay. But...when? How?"

"Well. No time like the present, huh?"

"Clay...you sure about that? I mean, I don't want to take away from Justin's day..."

"Hey, New Jensen!" Clay turned and called to his brother. "C'mere for a second."

"Clay..."

"It'll be fine," Clay smiled reassuringly.

"What's up?" Justin asked as he joined them.

"How would you feel about the spotlight taken off of you for a few minutes today?"

"Oh God, yes, please. I mean, I'm really happy...but this is a lot, you know? I think Jess' dad keeps giving me the side eye every so often...."

"There. See?"

"See what?"

"Alex wants to come out to his parents. How about here and now?"

"Dude!" Justin grinned. "That's fucking awesome! Yeah, you should totally go for it!"

"Guys..." Alex struggled with what to say next. "I just...I didn't mean today or anything like that..."

"Alex, it's totally cool with me. Really. And hey, strength in numbers and all that, right? We're all here to back you up just in case your dad, like...I dunno, flips his shit or whatever..."

"Justin!" Clay exclaimed, horrified.

"Great...." Alex muttered.

"Yeah, okay, sorry. But for real, man. Just go for it. We're proud of ya and love ya. Go."

"Leap of faith, dude," Clay reminded him.

"Leap of faith. Right. Leap of fucking faith...."

 

**********

 

Cyrus next to him, Alex came over to where his parents were sitting, next to Karen, and leaned on his cane a little. Behind them stood Zach, Clay, Justin and Tony.

"Mom...dad....may I interrupt you for just a minute?"

"Sure, son," Bill Standall replied. "What's on your mind?"

Alex took a deep breath and quickly gathered his thoughts. "So...I've been meaning to do this for awhile now, and I know this is a really odd place and time to do it. But since Justin doesn't mind. Uh. I love you both, very much, and I know this last year was very hard on all of us because of...what I tried to do. And that had nothing to do with what I'm about to say, please believe me. I've been struggling with it for a long time..."

The rest of the members of the Gang had now joined the others in solidarity behind the boyfriends, and the parents were now watching as well.

"Mom. Dad. I'm gay. And Cyrus. Cyrus is...."

Cyrus looked at Alex, smiling, and reached out to hold his hand.

"Cyrus is my boyfriend. I just...I've been wanting to tell you for so long, and I didn't know how..."

Bill got to his feet and slowly walked over to his son. Alex closed his eyes and waited for...well, he didn't know what, exactly.

But then, Bill Standall embraced his son and kissed his cheek. "Alex...we've known. We've always known."

"Y-you did?"

Carolyn joined her husband. "Honey, parents just know these things, sometimes. You're still our son, and we love you. We want you to be happy."

Alex nodded, crying a little.

"Love you, 'Lex," Cyrus said, kissing his cheek. "I'm really, really proud of you."

As the Standalls embraced their son and his boyfriend, Zach made an observation to Justin. "Did you realize we're split down the middle, fifty-fifty in our group? Between straight and not?"

"Huh. Yeah, that's right."

"We are an interesting bunch."

 

**********

 

Food was eaten, children played in the yard. Justin was thrilled to give his new little cousin several piggy back rides, much to Chris' delight, and to the amusement of the parents. As the sun set and the backyard lights were turned on, Tony assumed responsibility of the music playing through the portable speaker. he deliberately chose songs that would not offend the parents and would be appropriate for the kids, so a lot of Rat Pack had been heard.

"You know what," he said to the crowd when a Dean Martin song had ended. "We need some dancing tonight. It's a celebration, and that means dancing."

"Can one dance to Sammy Davis?" Clay asked.

"Are you making fun of my choices? Quiet, you," Tony grinned.

Scrolling through Apple Music and satisfied with what he came across, he pressed play on his phone and the sound of horns came through, followed by the voice of Phil Collins:

  

_It's there in the eyes of the children_  
_In the faces smiling in the windows_  
_You can come on out, come on open the doors_  
_Brush away the tears of freedom_

_Now we're here, there's no turning back_  
_We have each other_  
_We have one voice_

_Hand in hand we will lay the tracks_  
_Because the train is coming to carry you home_

_Come dance with me_

_Come on and dance into the light_  
_Everybody dance into the light_

 

"Well. Shall we?" Matt stood and extended his hand to Lainie. 

"Hang on a second, dad....I think I should get the first dance," Justin smiled and came over, taking his mom out to the yard.

 

_There'll be no more hiding in shadows of fear_  
_There'll be no more chains to hold you_  
_The future is yours - you hold the key_  
_And there are no walls with freedom_

 

Jess accompanied Matt, and several others paired up. Naturally, Clay and Sheri were one, although they had a 'third wheel' in little Chris, and so they each took one of his hands in theirs.

 

_Now we're here, we won't go back_  
_We are one world_  
_We have one voice_

_Side by side we are not afraid_  
_Because the train is coming to carry you home_

 

"Wow....that was a lot easier that I thought it would be," Alex said as he leaned into Cyrus.

"I told you it would be, 'Lex. How're you feeling?"

"Free. Totally, absolutely, free. And happy."

"Good. I love you, Alex."

Alex kissed Cyrus. "I love you, too, Cy."

Zach was dancing with his mother.

"See, mom? My friends aren't all that bad. These are good people."

Karen nodded and smiled. "Well...it's taken me awhile to realize that, but yes. They are. I'm glad you all take care of one another. I'm very proud of you, Zachary."

 

_Come dance with me_  
_Come on and dance into the light_  
_Everybody dance into the light_

 

"Thank you for tonight, mom. This is...it's..."

"Really awesome?" Lainie finished with a grin.

"Very awesome. I love you."

"Honey...that's....you've never said...."

Justin nodded. "I know. But I do. You and dad, both. I love you both, so very much. And I meant every word of what I said in court today."

Lainie hugged Justin, who closed his eyes and sighed happily.

  

_Do you see the sun, it's a brand new day_  
_Oh, the world's in your hands, now use it_  
_What's past is past, don't turn around_  
_Brush away the cobwebs of freedom_

 

Chris trotted over to join his mother and father, letting Clay and Sheri dance alone, next to Tony and May.

"Won't Caleb be jealous?" Clay asked.

"Probably not, seeing as how he's dancing with Mackenzie. Besides, how can I pass up a pretty young lady like this?" May blushed and giggled at hearing this.

"I know the feeling...I'm dancing with a princess myself."

"Clay..." now it was Sheri's turn to blush.

  

_Now we're here, there's no turning back_  
_You have each other_  
_You have one voice_

 

Matt had cut in and took his wife in his arms, allowing Justin and Jess to do the same. At first, they were next to his parents, but as Greg once more gave Justin somewhat of a side eye, they had danced their way over to Clay and Sheri.

"Well, how does it feel?" Clay asked him.

"How does what feel?"

"This. To have a brother, a family."

"It feels...amazing. Totally amazing. I hope this feeling never goes away."

 

_Hand in hand you can lay the tracks_  
_Because the train is coming to carry you home_

  

"Welcome home, shithead."

"Thanks, dumbass."

  

_Come dance with me_  
_Come on and dance into the light_  
_Everybody dance into the light_

 

The rest of the summer lay ahead of them. The maze of moments that they had gone through had been long, painful, sometimes confusing, but Clay and Justin wouldn't have done anything to change their experiences, as hard as some of them had been. As they looked at one another and smiled while they danced, each in their own way anticipated the days, months, and years ahead together. Life, they knew, was so much easier if there was someone at their side to help during the difficult times. As they looked around at their friends and parents, each also knew that from here on out, they'd never have to go it alone again.

There would be difficult times, they knew. Clay would have to testify at Monty's trial, and he was still recovering and going to therapy for his PTSD. But as he looked at Justin and smiled, he knew he had the greatest support anyone could have asked for in his new brother.

They still missed Hannah and Jeff, and their absence would forever remain a hole in their hearts. Tyler as well. But as the lyrics to the song they danced to said, they all had each other, and that would make all the difference.

"You know what?" Justin asked Clay, Sheri and Jess.

"What's that?" Clay answered for them.

"I'm one lucky son of a bitch..."

He was indeed.

 

They all were very, very lucky.

 

* * *

  

_To leave the tread of all time_  
_And let it make a dark line_  
_In hopes that I can still find_  
_The way back to the moment_  
_I took the turn and turned to_  
_Begin a new beginning_  
_Still looking for the answer_  
_I cannot find the finish_  
_It's either this or that way_  
_It's one way or the other_  
_It should be one direction_  
_It could be on reflection_  
_The turn I have just taken_  
_The turn that I was making_  
_I might be just beginning_  
_I might be near The End.  
_

-from "Anywhere Is," by Enya

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, here we are.
> 
> Eighteen years ago, at the height of the boyband craze, Ye Writer put finger to keyboard and cranked out an unfinished story that had a similar name to this one (hey, what's the use of a good title if you can't reuse it, right?). I worked on it on and off for about two and a half years, and while I am still happy with it, it lay there dormant when I lost interest.
> 
> Fast forward to now, and Ye Writer is a little....okay, a lot....older, far more comfortable in his skin as a gay man, and way more confident in his writing. The show "13 Reasons Why" struck a chord in me, and I suddenly started to imagine the story you have just finished in my head. After thinking about it a good deal, and reading some amazing works here on AO3, I decided to take a chance and see if anyone would like it. Ninety thousand plus words later, not only have I found that I am absolutely in love with what I have called the Mazeverse, but I am so very happy and proud to have you all as an audience.
> 
> So, thank you. For your kudos, your comments, and your feedback. It has meant so very much to me.
> 
> To Bitterblue33, my lovely Natalie, thank you for writing your stories, and for your inspiration in getting me back into the realm of fan fiction.
> 
> To each of you that have left comments on each and every chapter....thank you. Each time, it has made me want to write more and more, and I wouldn't have been able to do this without you.
> 
> To each of you who have read my story - thank you. I truly hoped you enjoyed it.
> 
> To Dylan Minnette, Brandon Flynn, and the rest of the amazing cast - thank you for bringing your characters to life.
> 
> And finally to Jay Asher, for writing the original book.
> 
> Now, Mazers, lest you think I am totally finished...ohhhhh no. Think again! Book One was just that! Consider this to be our first season together. There are plenty of stories to come, one shots and multi part ones, and Book Two will be here before you know it. After all...we've got to start Senior year of high school, now don't we?
> 
> So as always, Mazers....stay tuned! Clay and Justin, their family and friends, will return! Thank you again for reading!


End file.
